November 2011 - early birds, just in time and late to the party, all welcome!!

[TwoJackRussellsandapumpkin]

Hi all,

just starting up a post natal thread for all the due in November peeps on the antenatal forum and anyone else who would like to join in too, hoping to see my arrival by the end of the week, so officially an early bird I hope :)

bump i've been experimenting. I get 20 mins sleep co sleeping when he is on his back. In crib I get 10 mins (on back).

If he sleeps on me I can get an hour, he would be on his tummy. So i can't really recreate the tummy and heat in a crib I'd be too worried.

Bump DS is 7 weeks old & about 10lb & takes 150ml in bedtime bottle if that helps

ali thanks that gives me an idea of where to start.

pma he sounds exactly like M, she literally has a 10minute time frame on her back - you can set your watch by it! I was worried about her sleeping on her tummy at first so I started by doing it during the day where I could watch her, she was fine & lifting her head side to side whilst sleepinh & after a couple of days attempted it at night & so far no probs - shell sleep in her moses from 10.30 til about 2 then she'll join me in bed.

thanks bump i tried him on his side last night in crib and got 01:00h tO 03:30h so that was great. He's been up since then mind :)

I GOT A MORNING SHOWER TODAY!

The bouncey chair hasn't gone down too well hohum

Pam Babies have a sleeping position they like - don't fret too much about stomach sleeping, if that's what your baby settles with. Abi falls asleep on her side then falls over on her back when she relaxes.

So. Today she was in a really good mood after her 11am feed... So I put her in her bouncer. I walked around doing some housework, and turned around to her having fallen asleep all on her own. I put her in the pram and she's been babbling to her toys for half an hour now...

Pam Dd has fits and starts of sleep. Last night she took over an hour to get her to sleep. I end up having to wake oh up to settle her. She then goes for a couple of hours then wakes then maybe an hour then has snack feed then sleep another hour and so on. She woke at 7 she only snacked for ten mins put her back in cot and she wouldn't settle so oh did his morning duty and I caught up with a couple of hours sleep. Luckily oh isn't back to work till early Jan. Hope she sleeps a bit longer by then.

Oh and cam someone tell what the hell happens to kids when they go to school. My dsd aged 5 was a model child and helped me get to know how children work from the age of 2 (the age she started staying over at ours). Since starting school full time she has turned into a lippy moo bag. It's hard work when we are so tired but lucky in a way that it isn't full time. The other problem is that her mum has the airy fairy helicopter parenting method whereas we are totally diff. I do understand that having two homes is extremely difficult for her ....... the change has just been astonishing.

One other thing that breaks my heart is that when dd is fast asleep usually on me and she all of a sudden cries out really loudly. It only takes a minute to cuddle her to settle again. Is she just having a bad dream or something? The cry is really strong and heart wrenching. :(

Sorry for long post, can you tell I've not had much sleep.

I am really excited to report that DS slept through last night. Well, he sort of did in that he woke a couple of times but I was able to soothe him back to sleep without a feed. We changed his formula at the weekend to the 'hungrier baby' stuff (on HVs advice) and it took him a day or two to get used to it - he seemed to wake as normal and think he was hungry, then when I got him a bottle he realised he wasn't. After a restless night on Sunday, it occurred to me last night that I might just be able to get him back to sleep without a feed, and it worked.

But, oh the irony, I lay awake for hours and hardly slept at all. We just heard that a former colleague of DHs had been widowed suddenly a couple of months ago (she emigrated a couple of years ago and they had lost touch) and it really upset us both. They were a lovely couple, and were around our age, so it really shook us up. DH, of course, has responded in typical man fashion - instead of admitting to being upset, he is just grumpy instead .

Eugh, 2 year old and 4 week old both with a cold. Aint no sleep going on here. Poor dd really struggling to breath and therefore to feed or sleep too. Dont know what the hell to do for her. Have spent much of the night up holding her where she can breath a little better. Naturally am beginning to feel early symptoms myself too. And I havent had a hairwashing window in 9 sodding days. Admitedly I have a lot of hair and its a good hour's job to wash and brush it. Still. It doesnt get greasy just progressively frizzier and frizzier. Got visitors today and tomorrow then 9 people for xmas eve. So need to shop and tidy and present some image of doing more than basic subsistence.
On the plus side, my ds despite hacking his lungs out and piteously moaning various things in the night, has woken up absolutely charmingly wonderful, declaring to dp as he went in thismorning 'i am decorating the inside of my cot for halloween'. 26 months. Genius.

just steam is great for clearing a snotty blocked baby; a long hot bath/shower will steam up the room so may be worth putting LO in the bathroom with you whilst you wash your hair!! Also olbas oil in hot water near baby (packet says not under 3months but that for it being on pillow - in hot water near baby is fine) can help too. Hope both LOs and you feel better for xmas xx

Just I bought some saline nose drops (Tixylix) which I used before each feed when DS was blocked up - he did hate it for the 10 seconds it took to do but fed much better after.

Oh & Never don't worry she'll be back - the stress & exhaustion turned DS1 into someone completely unrecognisable but I'm glad to report that 5 days into the holidays he is back to more or less his usual self (albeit right now a v restless version as I feed DS2 when he really needs a run in the park or something)

just I was going to say exactly the same as bump . DD has end of cold and has now learnt to say snotty and boogie . Also now learnt to pick nose after I have had to pick it for her as nostril completely blocked. Hoping she doesn't demo that new trick at Christmas dinner!

just I hear you on the hair front...
Saline drops worked for us too.

Abi is 2 months today... Weeeeird.

Well last night I gave in and let W sleep on his tummy - and we had 6 hours broken once by a small feed.

Jeez that has put the cat amongst the pigeons here. Sleep v SIDs risk. Hohum

Pam There are apnoea monitors www.babymonitorsdirect.co.uk/categories/15/Baby-Sensor-Monitors/
to consider if you worry.

How is everyone?

I've had some big wobbles the last week, think it is the christmas build up, hormones, missing belle, tiredness etc etc etc. anyway it all built up to a near meltdown over X's bedtime bottle. I had a VERY bad day feeding him, feeling sick and clawing at nearby pillows to calm down until he was off me, the sensation was making me very panicky. I felt awful, I shouldn't feel like that.

I've been expressing bedtime feed, but struggling more and more to find time or get enough out. I considered formula for bed, because I need that break every day, wrote about my frustrations on my blog and an entirely unhelpful person said FF was attributed to an increased risk of sids. Apparently its the latest research - they don't know why, so 'one of those things' type research with no hard/fast reasons to back it up. 'just because' well that has put me in turmoil all week; how insensitive I thought, played right into my fears of losing X too.

but anyway after nearly losing the plot completely under the pressure something had to give and we are now giving him formula for bed. still expressing but without the pressure of having too.

so last night he had formula and slept 11:30-8, apart from a small wake up at 1.30 for a nappy change, reswaddle and cuddle! amazing night!

feeling much better about it all again now, normal feelings while feeding have resumed.

Isn't it awful how much pressure we put on ourselves...

Caz I am stunned that someone would write that as a comment on your blog. I haven't read the comment, so I'm assuming here that the tone was a judgemental one - I may have got the wrong end of the stick and it was someone genuinely trying to be helpful. But anyone reading your blog will know what you have already been through, and how you are obviously agonising over this.

Yes, statistically I believe that info is correct but......statistics can 'prove' quite a lot of things which don't really stand up to scrutiny. I was saying to DH recently that the leaflet I came home from hospital with said that 50% of SIDS happened in the parents bed, therefore co-sleeping was dangerous. But, in theory if every single parent put baby in his/her own cot, SIDS would sadly still exist, and then 100% of SIDs would happen in a cot, so would that suddenly make sleeping in a cot dangerous?

I have no idea of the research methods for the FF vs BF SIDS risk, but these days I tend to take all 'research' with a big pinch of salt.

Massive hugs to you Caz. I'm glad you have managed to do what you feel is right for you & X. As Snoozle says statistics are unreliable as they can be interpreted to say many things. Many babies are FF and are happy & healthy, the fact you are managing to mix feed is great. You are doing a wonderful job & I'm sure Belle is watching down on you excited to see your Christmas celebrations knowing she is remembered & loved as much as her lil brother xx

Caz ignore the silly woman - there are plenty of reasons people suggest SIDS is increased but at the end of the day there are so many risks in life and you can't avoid them all.

FWIW I know exactly how you feel re breastfeeding - I felt the same way with DS, I needed some space from feeding and felt under pressure to express and couldn't express enough. We ended up topping up with formula from 6 weeks and then one total formula bottle at 12 wks when I stopped expressing and from then on I just got to enjoy feeding because I knew I could stop if I wanted IYSWIM. I think that's the reason I ended up feeding DS until he was 19mo!

Pam I know a few people who put DCs on their tummy as they slept better but I can understand your concern. As cali said you could get a movement monitor if you are worried - or just to stop you waking all the time to check on him!

I am really frustrated as DD won't take the bottle, she just screams and I hate seeing her cry. DS refused it occasionally but generally he took it fine. I don't feel as I need to give her a bottle as much as I did with DS but I would like to be able to go out occasionally without worrying. Anyone got any tips?

Right, got to knit some christmas trees to go on my homemade fudge / hot choc jars

Caz Oh hun, I'm so sorry you have been having wobbles. It happens to all of us. I had major wobbles with DD as I wanted so much to bf but I physically couldnt. I am also a sleep monster. I cannot function properly on less than 8 hours a night. So moving on to ff felt like such a selfish thing to do for DD but in the end I was happier and so was she (as she wouldn't latch on but could suck a teat). She would cry so much in the early weeks until we introduced a ff and she settled and fell asleep in her moses basket. It was a huge turning point for us.

Have no idea about the research but don't take it as gospel. Take heart that there is not 100% guarantee what causes sids and I don't think we will ever know. There are just precautions of what will minimise the risk of it.

Terrys it took me 3wks to get M to take a bottle; we tried Tommee Tippee closer to nature, Dr Browns, Breastflow. I asked the HV who suggested NUK or MAM; we got the MAM bottle and immeadiately M took to it. I was also advised to give her a bottle when she not too hungry & to get someone else to give it whilst you are out of the room as baby can still smell you. Hope that helps xx

We're doing well here, had a wobbly week last week mentally but think the mastitis didn't help. Almost back on form this week. Had HV do an extra visit today as she wanted to introduce a new member of staff to a variety of babies of different ages. Was great as was able to discuss last weeks wobble & had M weighed; HV slightly concerned as M only put on 1/2oz in past week which has made me anxious that I am feeding her ok & that am giving her enough when give her EBM. HV said to carry on as I am & re-weigh next week, she thinks it as she put on so much last weigh in but I'm still a little worried now.

I'm also struggling at letting DP do more with M; I feed her, do most of nappies, do bedtime, do bathtime, push pram when out...it not that DP doesn't want to but he waits til I 'give him permission' and I am never ready to do that. I know he needs to bond with her too but I am finding it hard.

It has been lovely getting lots of smiles off of M, she melts my heart all day everyday (even now as she feeding whilst stinking but won't let me change nappy til she full!!)

All ready for xmas here & really looking forward to the big family xmas (16 of us!!).

Hope everyone & babies are well xx

Sorry not to check everyone but just managed to post mammoth birth story on the ante natak thread link here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1336997-Nov-2011-aches-pains-and-waddling-soon-to-be-cuddles-and-swaddling?msgid=29109677#29109677

I will try to come back more often now i've got my thoughts down on paper. hugs to all.

bump funnily enough when she has finally taken the bottle before its only when I have been in the room! I am going to try buying a different bottle tomorrow so might go for the MAM one.

bump My DH found it difficult to be helpful with DS (and now DD) when he was a baby as I just do stuff because I know how and it comes naturally and it was difficult for him to break into this role too. It will become more balanced over time but it is a bit one sided at the beginning. One thing that helped was for them to have some time on their own - for us that was on saturday nights where DH would do bedtime routine(bath + massage) on his own (and then I would come up to feed DS). I got to relax for a bit and he got to look after DS and learn about him on his own, without me interfering! I think that really helped them.

Off to read your birth story MrsA - should I make a cup of tea first :)

wow MrsA, just wow, I feel like I've just been on a rollercoaster of emotions reading your birth story so I cannot even begin to imagine your feelings about it. Most importantly you and Matthew are ok but what a journey to get there. You should be so so proud of yourself!