Feb 2011- the one where Jane gets married and ALL the babies sleep through!

[deadka]

Hello everyone!!

reastie [big squeeze], you know yourself best - what would make the biggest difference to you at the minute. If it were me, I would concentrate on the CBT and self esteem issues. I know that when I was suffering from depression, everything seemed insurmountable - from making a telephone call to going to the shops. If your self esteem improved you may find that losing the weight becomes easier.

Alice is fab, she is beautiful, coming on in leaps and bounds and all down to you so you're doing brilliantly on that front.

chocoBoo Anna is like a bloody whippet, she can go from one end of the downstairs to another in about 2 minutes. She also galloped towards our open washing machine, grinning maniacally this afternoon, not sure what her aim was but it was very funny

Sssh - you go back to work the same day as me I think

deliaskis me tell you off the reason you go on threads like that, is because by sharing your feelings you might make it a bit easier for someone else going through the same thing xxx

Ooh, choc, do you fancy going into business together as personal googlers stylists? I love picking clothes for people and reastie, I love the knot one as you won't have to worry about arms, it looks bfing friendly and just looks fab! I'm very keen on the second, cord one myself but must not spend . Please cut yourself some slack, you have so much going on it's no wonder things are getting on top of you, just concentrate on the shoes/ boots to go with the dress!

ledkr I'm so glad to hear you're inviting the ILs soon as I've missed them . I'm with you on the tiny jeans, I keep thinking not to throw them out as surely they'll fit again one day but they're depressing me just seeing them.

Have so many clothes from b that don't fit him anymore that I'm thinking of doing a boot/ jumble sale soon but never done one before so wouldn't know what to charge etc. Has anyone done this before?

delia just read that thread and you were BRILLIANT and articulate and polite and I wanted to go and punch that lovingthecoast woman for you, how can people be so lacking in understanding and empathy? I'm a bfer but I will totally support you and your right to care for you baby in the best way that you see fit. Women can be so cruel to each other sometimes.

reastie I like the maxi dress best. I hope at least one fits you beautifully so you can feel confident for A's christening. It's really important for you so I think you should keep looking till you find the right dress. And re your emotional state right now- I would strip everything back to the bare minumum- ie focus on caring for yourself first, then Alice then DH. I put you first in that list because as mums a lot of the time we have no-one to look out for us and so we need to do it ourselves. You'll be a better wife and mother if you put yourself first sometimes. OK lecture over :)

needto it's my mum not my nan :( Glad Ben seems better.

wiggs and others v jealous of movers, S just sits on her bum and reaches for things, although she managed to pull herself up to standing today. Best move the cot down. AND v excitingly, she's finally in 6-9mo clothes!!

deadka That's how Anna started , she shuffled to get a different remote control toy to eat, then she crawled and five minutes later she's giving the dog a run for her money

NeedTo I covet the cord dress too

Oh deb I'm so sorry, don't know how I made that mistake. Can't imagine how you're feeling but sending you lots of strength x. Good for S pulling herself up b can't crawl he just shuffles a bit on his bum then wants to walk

Hi all
First off, Reastie, I'm sorry your feeling overwhelmed at the moment, I agree that you should write it all down, cross out the things you have to accept and cannot change then move onto the things you can do something about. Re the dress, I like the last one. If it's helps to buy s gorgeous dress I say do it but just dont do it again for at least six months! A girls gotta feel good about herself!

Chco, what date are you back at work? I'm back on the 31st. Had Noahs second intro session today, he did really well. I made a point of leaving him with the other girls and played with the other little one, it was great fun!

Ledkr I know how you feel about the tiny jeans. At the moment I still haven't tried on my work trousers, and am too scared to! I'm in denial that I'm going to lose my weight before I go back to work, hhhmmmm, don't think the huge helping of crumble I just ate will help!

Need to, I've done two baby markets recently and put all tops and trousers at 50p and jackets/coats at £2. I didn't sell heaps as only had baby clothes to sell but it's worth a go. I've put stuff on eBay now.

reastie id say gp to you my love.You have lots of the depression symptoms and need to address this before you do anything else.I totally aggree with wiggs i couldnt make aphone call or write a cheque or anything,id wake in the night and feel overwhelmed at my life and how much i had to do and felt panicky at how id manage it all.
I disaggree with you saying you dont do anythingmyou do loads and havent got the most support.I still feel overwhelmed at having D and terrified at returning to work,i feel as if im in limbo untill she is about 2 tbh and she is my 5th baby so take heart.Life will get easier but please see your Dr.psst-ads can help with weight loss too
Night all.we are actually in bed as planned.

Hi all,

reastie when you list things there is actually a lot going on (a lot of ishoos ) but agree that at the end of the day you are being a fab mum to A and that is the main thing. Then think about yourself and what you want to focus on, know that makes it sounds simple when its not but if you don't feel up to fat fighters at the mo, can it wait for a bit? Hm bit rambly there but hope you're ok.

emski a dnNeedto oh god I sold baby clothes on ebay recently and didn't put a reserve, I'm such a simpleton 2 bundles of baby clothes went for 99p. And I didn't work out the postage properyly so lost money on them I was so pissed off and only had myself to blame!

Eek work seems to be looming soon for some of us, emski sound slike N it settling in at nursery, must be reassuring for you.

deb I'm also sorry about your mum, any more news? We moved the cot down yesterday as dd can go on her hands and knees now, no sitting on her own though. She's still in 3-6 months clothes, how much does S weigh now?

delia I've nosied at that thread too and well done you, articulate as ever! Sorry that you're missing C, do you think its be'cos work isn't 'new' anymore if that makes sense? Bet you're loving the weekends though :)

ledkr hope your nan is recovering. So has dh got you a present involving fast cars then or are you being v hopeful?! Nt long til birthday now...

Have had a day of laziness here only venturing out to visit Aldi, woo exciting

needto I'm selling some of Alices old stuff on ebay but tbh by the time you take off paypal fees/ebay charges for extra photos etc tis only a few pennies I've made. Maybe I should've saved them all for a boot fair with you . Where I am they ocassionally have in local halls a baby/kids sale where you can buy a pitch in the hall to sell your stuff, a bit like NCT sales only not run by NCT. Might be worth looking in to? On ebay from what I can see the nice branded stuff (esp stuff from places like monsoon/boden/joules etc) sells really well. Also the smaller clothes (like 0-3) don't seem to sell for much, I guess as people are pfb about getting everything new until they realise it's all a waste of money or people get loads of stuff as gifts for tiny sizes. Last week I sold 5 lots and made about £10 . Tbh we are keeping all the nicest stuff just incase, or for my sister if ever she has children, so the stuff I'm selling if the rejects and not that nice

deb congrats Bean on getting into 6-9

I'll be really interested in how people find going back to work in the upcoming weeks. I was going back for a few days in December but have now put it off properly until January. Am secretly dreading it but I think once I'm in the swing of things it'll be good. Is anyone wondering how they are going to get everything done though? How will I get myself/Alice up and ready and out the door early/how will I manage to organise dinner when I've been at work and look after Alice/general logistics like that

It's a double edged sword all this baby development stuff isn't it? You sort of want them to do new stuff and progress but then when they do it becomes tricky. Alice still not crawling thank goodness . She's a pro at moving around in a circle on her tummy and shuffling backwards. In other news, she has started blowing raspberries after EVERY sip of water with her meals, most of the water ends out on me or the high chair, apparently this is hillarious , she also keeps reclining her head back when sitting on my lap and shoves her cheek in my face to get a kiss .

hubbard how's the toe?

jane have you spoken to sil since the week end? Can we see a piccie of he bracelet?

Oi you lot I can't keep up!

deadk I am so sorry about your mum, have everything crossed for you. Can't imagine what it must be like for you. Brill news on the weight loss though, you must be delighted. My weigh in is tm eve.

reastie here have some I think the dresses are gorge and have also made my first Boden purchase yesterday! The notting hill jumper, also got 15% Plus a tenner off. Rude not to really!

mizk great news about phone! And wiggles great about Annas hips

Sorry to hear about nan ledkr hope she is ok

Jane well done you about the Moses basket, I think that's so wonderful, you really are great

Sorry if I have missed anyone

M is ok thanks for asking reastie he went a bit mental at his dressing change today. His poor skin is so sore looking

Oh and my bff might want me to be her birthing partner!

ledkr et al thanks for that post. That was v insightful and I think you may have hit the nail on the head. I will think about ringing for a GP apt (must pick a nice GP). I've been on anti ds in the past though and they've never helped me with weight loss . Infact, they just make me lose any libido I have and make me tired, which in turn makes me eat more

Living dangerously there ponyo with the aldi trip

reastie Im sorry to hear you are not feeling to good. I hope you do visit the doctors.
Nope, not spoke to sil. Not taking a pic of the bracelet, it is just a pandora charm carrier with L and Z charms in silver.

Zoe's moses basket has now gone, it really saddens me that it will be used for angel babies. Lets hope it's a comfort to their parents.

40 how exciting being a birth partner! I was my wee sisters birth partner when she had my nephew. It was amazing!

Yep i was birthing partner to my friend it was much better than having one myself
Dilly has just pulled herself up
reastie I do wonder about work yes and how i will cope.I do not however worry about dinner cos we just eat when we can i dont do a strict dinner on the table time and i suggest you adopt the same attitude for now.I even bought some easy stuff when i was shopping (frozen fish and frozen chips and stuff) for the days dh isnt here and im doing Dancing runs,i cant keep cooking from scratch its too stressfull.
I dont iron much either-tumble dry and shake.
Dilly had an early night cos she was so tired but woke at 2 for milk then was wide awake for an hour before dh got her back off.
She woke at 7 with a cold so thats prob why.
I did smile at the e bay mistake sorry.I hate e bay.I sold some good tap shoes and apparently they never got there,it pissed me off cos i never said it was recorded delivery and the person could have been lying.I also sold Ellas hardly worn Lellie Kellies for 10 pounds.The woman launched a dispute cos they never came but then on my feedback put "recieved" but never closed the dispute,e bay found in her favour as they dont take feedback as evidence of reciept.I was so angry,i felt like going to manchester and getting them back.She wouldnt even answer my e mails.

led I am a clueless ebay seller - so if they don't turn up you have to refund? I've put on my info that I take postage cert which I'm happy to send buyer if anything should go missing for them to follow up and claim themselves. I wonder if this will cover me sufficiently . Poor Dilly with a cold

jane I just googled pandora bracelet. I must be the only person to have no idea what they look like . They are beautiful. What lovely friends. I can't wait until you get a new charm on there with Zoes little brother/sisters name [sentimental]

My voice has gone today . Alice keeps laughing at my attempts to talk . Think we'll have a quiet day today but maybe pop to supermarket to get a couple of bits. Oh, speaking of food shopping ledkr if only I could eat ready meals - because of my food issues and special diet I can never buy any ready meals that are reastie friendly so everything I eat pretty much is a from scratch.

Aint ready meals yuckveg etc.,just frozen tuna steaks and veg etc.Just easier.I also use the slow cooker when im working.I chuck stuff in the night before,leave it in the fridge and then switch on the cooker as i leave,bolegneise,chilli,casserole,choritzo and chick peas garlic and tomatoes really easy stuff.

Morning all,

ledkr I'm already in love with my slow cooker - suspect it's going to be my best friend when I'm back at work!

reastie Boo to lost voice, it's nice to have an excuse for a quiet day though. I'm worried about our routine and how things will get done when I go back to work. DP and I have worked out a rota for nursery drop offs and pick ups but I am convinced I'll end up doing most of it which will be a pain as I work at lot with people in the US so they only come online at 3pm and I'll have to be out of the door by 5. I'm hoping that working at home a couple of days will help us (DP is doing one day at home too) by being able to get shopping delivered and washing done during working day. And I guess R won't be at home so much to make so much mess!

Jane I hope the basket is a comfort too. You're being so brave.

40 Exciting about the birthing partner thing. I'd be useless, and emotional wreck. Although my BFF lives in Auckland so I guess I could get a good holiday out of it!

ponyo I never o to Aldi. I am scared of it. Is the cheese as good as they say?

Right. I'm catching up with TOWIE before the nursery visit. DP is here as he's away tonight so I get the fun of being in charge until tomorrow night. Lucky old me!

See I will buck the trend I feckin' love cheap ready meals, its something about the food colourings and cheap curry that does it for me every time, I am quite the expert on the 5 for £4 Tesco ones, the more frozen the better. Not sure why, my mum would have rather died than given us anything like that to eat, so I think they are the forbidden fruit to me

40 I think I may end up being my sisters birthing partner - she's not sure her husband is up to it

reastie hope you get your voice back

We don't have Aldi here, no Aldi, no Waitrose and no Morrisons - how do I cope

Anna has also woken up with a miserable cold

reastie hope you get your voice back soon.

Hugs the the coldy babies.

Morning all,
My little darlings took it in turns to disturb our sleep from about 4.30am, first Noah was moaning, then when he went quiet dh got up to go see Ben who had apparently been crying cos he couldnt sleep, within five minutes Ben was crying again so dh went up again. His and Bens talking woke Noah again, so Ben came down to tell me Noah was being naughty! I ended up snuggling with Ben in his bed which was really lovely except he couldn't stop wriggling his bloody feet. Were now watching tv and eating grapes while Noah naps!

With regard to returning to work and the ensuing chaos, when i returned yo work after having Ben i found that little things like meal planning, making a big spaghetti Bol on Sunday for Mondays tea etc really helped. I put washing on as soon as I got in from work and hung it out on the evening. I have a 'rota' for housework e.g, change bedding Monday, clean bathrooms Weds (I only clean once a week, not very house proud)! It all kind of clicks into place, it's always very busy and chaotic but it all gets done!

I think I'm ready to go back to work now, I find being home a little boring, and need more routine. Only two and a half weeks to go!

Reastie, hops your ok, despite your lost voice. Make sure you make that doctors appointment today.

40, don't think I'd make a good birthing partner, I'm way too panicky! But hope your friend def chooses you, I can imagine it would be an amazing experience!

Were off swimming for Bens lesson at lunchtime, mil is here today, this afternoon I'm taking Ben for a bike ride, it's his treat for completing all nine steps on his reward chart. Were trying to toilet train him at night, he's had four dry nights out of five, so I'm very proud!

Morning,

I am a fan of freezer stuff, I'll quite happily have fish fingers, chips and beans/peas for my tea, but dp is way more picky and likes cooked from scratch stuff - luckily he does most of the cooking from scratch so it works out pretty well

reastie hope you're feeling better soon and get your voice back. Meant to ask, can I be nosy and ask why you and dh don't want anymore children? Is it b'cos you had a horrible pregnancy?

choco I didn't know Aldi was well renowned for its cheese, I'm not really a cheese fan (just a bit of chedder here and there ) so woudn't know. Why are you scared of it?! Is it b'cos they scan everything through the till super fast?! There are some bloody sights to be scared of in the one here I tell you, a slightly mad looking woman was almost crashing into my heels with her trolley in her rush to get around, I just walked slower

wiggles I don't know how you cope either

I'm another one who can't quite figure out the routine for when I go back to work, dp seems to think it'll be very simple and he'll just take her in to nursery on his way to work, but when he leaves for work is when she is due her breakfast, also it takes me half an hour to feed her breakfast If I took her to nursery I'd be late for work. Its confusing so I'm not thinking about it yet.

If you are barely intimate, you're still breastfeeding and he works while you are at home then I understand completely why he would feel even more like he is being pushed aside and having "his space" invaded by the baby by you bringing it into the bed. It sounds like your life and priorities revolve around the baby not you as a couple. Perhaps that needs to be rebalanced somewhat.

Are you sure your husband's needs are being considered alongside those of the baby? I can understand minimal intimacy in the first few week but not MONTHS after the birth. Could he deep-down be feeling neglected? Maybe its about time you freed up those boobies for your spouse rather than your child - you are a wife as well as a mother. And maybe spend more time on regaining sexual intimacy in your bed rather than making that too a "baby space".

Persoanally our bed is OUR space - ADULT space. DD has slept in her own cot in her own room since she was 3 days old and has NEVER been in our bed to sleep. She also has most all her naps in her cot. As she has never known any other way she sleeps perfectly 12 hours 99 times out of a 100. If she does wake I check on her to make sure she isn't wet / hurt / ill and then she would be left to put herself back to sleep - which she has learned to do because we never did rocking or patting or pacifiers or any other external sleep assistance.

Also I have known plenty of couples whose baby is still in the bed at 3 or 4 years old. Why anyone would want to do that to themseves or their marriage I cannot understand.

Just wanted to share this hideous post with my friends as i am shocked that there are still women in the world who think like that. Bleurgh.

ledkr I posted just after you - she's been February slapped

Maybe its about time you freed up those boobies for your spouse rather than your child - you are a wife as well as a mother . How is life in the 1950s these days?

Just for ledkr

ledkr I got really confused reading that until I read the bit at the bottom explaining it. I thought you were making a random comment to someone here and that I'd missed something, but couldn't work it out as it didn't sound like you obv! `that person sounds narrowminded. I wonder if all her RL friends are of the same opinion

ponyo DH has always said he wanted 2 dc. I'm happy with one but sort of would like another but (this sounds really selfish) my body just doesn't do hormones and I can't do pg again - it was the worst and hardest time in my life (obv most rewarding too) and doing it with a dc to look after ... . I know people will say next time i could be OK or that it's just 9 months out of a lifetime but i just don't think i could. Some people don't have another baby if they have a bad birth experience as they are traumatised - I feel a bit like that (although at least birth is only a few days, pg is months!!)

ems enjoy swimming