August 2011 - a place to wAit until the rest graduate !

[MrsVidic]

Hi,
Thought I would start us a postnatal thread. Were still in hospital, here till Tuesday monitoring dd (now named Eva) and giving her the anti biotics. Im missing dd1 loads as I only get to see her at visiting and trying to contain a toddler on the ward is tough.

Yukana I second everything MrsS has said about choosing between struggling to BF or choosing to formulafeed. I had surgery on my breasts in my teens and was only given a 20% chance of being able to bf after the op, but I still clung to hope when pregnant with DS1.
I tore myself to pieces when he was born, and I couldn't bf from one boob at all, and only a tiny drop from the other. It is disheartening, and the MW/HV don't help by banging on about "breast is best".
You are doing your best for Freyja by ensuring that she is well fed - regardless of where it comes from. DS1 ended up being FF exclusively as the pain and awkwardness of getting out those few drops wasn't worth it. He is a very happy, healthy 2 year old now who runs me ragged! We have an incredibly strong bond, and he is very advanced with his speech and emotional development so try not to worry, :)

As for the crying/attention seeking, have you tried giving her a dummy? I know some people are dead set against them, and I certainly don't like them for older children, but some babies have a very strong desire to suck, but don't need to feed all the time, and a dummy can help to get that energy out of them. DS1 had his dummy for 6 weeks, then he just spat it out himself and didn't want it anymore. I have just given a dummy to DS2 as he was whinging after feed and nappychange and cuddles, and he has settled right down.

bettyboo For wind try lots of different positions for baby. I find lying baby down then sitting him up is good as it squeezes air out of tummy, or over shoulder with as straight a body as possible. Infacol is good if you are still struggling as it is suitbale from birth, and gripe water is fab after 1 month. I also found with DS1 (who had awful colic for 4 months) that a vibrating bouncy chair is amazing, so maybe give that a try for a short burst?

congrats betty! i dont really know any tips about wind but hopefully you get it sorted out

agree about the formula feeding, if thats what you need to do to keep your baby well fed and keep you both happy then dont beat yourself up about it, they will still grow up fine and healthy! i didnt bf my other 2 for very long and ended up with ff and it worked out well for them, hoping to bf this one longer as it seems to be going a bit better so far, but either way if you bf or ff them as long as they are not going hungry theres no need to feel bad

Ive had to do it, and now I feel really shitty about it.

DS has had a top up FF :( he's fairly settled now, he must have been starving. I think my milk is going away, been on some antibiotics and the doctor said the only side affect noted is your milk can get a bitter taste so hopefully thats why he's not taking my milk and the only milk he does take he brings back up again.

He was having FF top ups in hospital when he was on NICU so he's used to having them but i still feel like I've failed :(

winter stop it immediately!! You HAVE NOT failed. You have given your baby his lunch which he otherwise wouldn't have had because your milk tastes a bit funny today. Stop feeling shitty. You would feel 100% shittier if you hadn't given him a FF and he had gone hungry and spent the whole afternoon grizzling and wailing. You can't help the fact that you're on antibiotics and that won't be for long (I presume) so you can get him back on the boob soon. Would suggest expressing after you would have boob-fed though otherwise your milk will go away.

And besides ... you're making me feel shitty because I almost exclusively FF now. My girls get about 30mls of "Mummy milky moo" (as it has now been termed) and about 60mls of formula per feed so it is hardly worth bothering now but I persevere with the ruddy breastpump.

Thanks MrsS and sorry if ive made you feel shitty too. Think I just feel crap about it because it too so long to get BF started as it was. Only got the antibiotics for 2 more days, then they take 2 days to get out of my system and hopefully my tear wont be infected then so I wont need anymore.

Im blaming my hormones :) tbh I think he's going to be mainly FF now, just seeing how happy and content he is (like you saw your girls after the first formula feed) makes me realise that he must have been hungry for a good few days.

Question about naps...

Should I be making sure DS has plenty of naps during the day so he's not overtired at night?

Thanks everyone, I'm starting to feel a little better. I do agree though the midwives and consultants saying 'breast is best' and questioning my decision all the time is very disheartening.

I think the reason Freyja was crying yesterday was due to wind. She has extremely bad wind that I just can't seem to get rid of despite using the same tactics that work for both my partner and grandmother! Baby obviously doesn't like burping for mummy. I was exhausted yesterday, she cried regularly on/off for five hours, it was draining constant caring for her with no rest, no break, two nappy changes, two feeds, and dealing with the crying.
She's due for a feed in half an hour, just hope she'll settle so I can get some rest as I'm exhausted again.

My milk has been leaking out of my breasts often for a couple of days now. I haven't gotten round to finding and steralizing my breast pump, so that's two days of doing barely anything expressing/feeding wise. I hope my milk doesn't go away, I don't really want to deal with more guilt and stress right now.

Freyja has put on weight, 90g to be precise, in 24 hours, so I'm relieved. They'll weigh her again tomorrow and then hopefully I won't be visited so often as I want to be able to take her out somewhere!

WinterLover I was constantly beating myself up after collapsing four times and being so ill I couldn't feed my baby in hospital so they had to feed her formula for the first time at less than a day old. I think even now I hold a grudge for the poor care I received at that time, but I should remember that it wasn't my fault I was so ill, it's just something that happened through no fault of my own. Remember, it isn't your fault and your antibiotics are only a temporary thing, perhaps express milk in the meantime? Big hugs to you.

just marking my place for when baba finally arrives

is anyone else feeling so happy they could burst! I just cant get over how in love I am with dd and how doable it all appears- im getting a little freaked out by how smoothly things are going tbh and fear ill fall back down to earth fast soon!

MrsV - yes! I feel the same. I am ridiculously exhausted but every time I look at one of my girls I just smile, they are worth every second of tiredness and just make me so happy. Dare I say it, I am finding life with newborn twins to be easier than I'd anticipated (I had anticipated it being dire though to be honest) - they are hard work but I didn't realise how much my feelings of love and adrenaline would carry me through.I am dreading the first time one of them gets ill as I suspect that'll be when it all falls apart!! My only complaint is that I'm expressing and I hate it... feel like a bloody dairy parlour! But it seems it is the only way the girls are going to get any of my milk so I plough on...

Me too, having a newborn baby, 2 year old and (almost) 4 year old is far easier than being heavily pregnant with two children to run round after! Love seeing my older boys giving their baby brother a kiss, so sweet. I found after I'd had DS2 that I would have, on average, one bad day a week where I was shattered and it was hard work getting through the day. DS2 woke every 3 hours until 7 months old though so I was pretty sleep deprived by then, hoping DS3 will go a bit longer at night sooner than that!

Not too shattered at the moment because DH, a farmer who normally gets up at 5am, is at home until 8am so I don't have to get up with the older two at 6.30ish, and believe me that extra bit of rest makes all the difference! Baby Matthew has really settled down after the initial feeding frenzy of the first week to get my milk supply established. He feeds roughly every 3 hours at the moment and once I've made sure he has burped sufficiently he then goes down in his moses basket for a couple of hours sleep. Long may it last. He likes to be swaddled but with his hands free.

Think I'm almost through the worst bit of breastfeeding for me - I always get very sore nipples at the start (despite numerous breastfeeding consultant people checking the latch with all three) and I hate the leakiness until the supply settles down. Soreness subsiding now but getting a bit engorged and leaky before a feed, hope that settles down soon. Sleeping on a towel so my nipples get some air at night!

Hope everyone else's babies are doing well too.

Glad I'm not alone- I do find pregnancy really difficult so it's Lovley having my body back! Baby Eva is doing really well so alert and is less scrunched up! She woke at 11, 3 and 5 last night but it felt more tiring, so Dp got up with her at 6 to give me an extra hour. She's been feeding lots today so think tonight may be a tough one!
I went to slimming world yesterday and was really pleased when I got weighed onle have 12 lbs left to loose till my goal / pre preg weight

A lot of these posts are very familar to me as I am now solely FF as Alex was screaming with hunger and so had to top up - he then completely rejected the breast. Feel bad but he is doing well which is the main thing.

I have finally managed to resize photos suitable for mumsnet use so i have added a couple of pics of Alex to my profile for you to peek at. Lots also left from DD as a baby so you can see how similar they are.

Hey mums! A quick update from me..baby boy is doing well (touch wood). He only lost 60g at his 1st weigh in. He gets weighed again tmrw so fingers crossed he's gaining. I'm doing alright - knackered as baby has taken to being awake for 3hr stretches in the early hours. I need to keep reminding myself he's just over a week old and go with it. I am really enjoying being a mum bit have moments (particularly in the evening) where it all feels overwhelming and that my life has changed immeasurably.. Start worrying how having a baby will affect my and my partners relationship. I'm hoping this is all normal and just me getting used to the magnitude of having a baby, lack of sleep, hormones etc. Hope you are all having fun and have a good night tonight x

hello! i had Harper Lea last Wednesday (10th) only just out of hospital on Sunday, seems crazy she a week old tomorrow! Going to get her registered. She still has jaundice but feeding lots so hopefully flush it out.

My main question is about feeding. Harper was too sleepy to take to the breast but she does want it! But can't be bothered to suck properly which leaves us both a little frustrated. Have been expressing and bottle feeding which actually is fine, my milk is flooding in and expressed half a litre already today (just call me Daisy). She did feed off my boob the other night, and OH said he thought thats what she wanted last night when she wouldn't settle (I was asleep, my first proper sleep for a week, bliss!) So now I am in 2 minds cos I would like her to take off the breast but then I don't mind expressing and bottle feeding as OH can do it.....I am not even sure what the question is here! Anyone else doing the same? I was all panicked about it but then thought well the most important thing is she drinks my breast milk so it doesn't matter show she gets it, does it?

awww hersetta such cute pics!

i should have read the thread before I posted but wasn't sure if I needed to express/feed/change her! OK i feel better now as lots of you are doing the same!

Yukana, I was expressing 25ml from 1 boob on Friday, today I just got 120ml! I have the Advent electric breast pump and its so much better than the thing I was using in the hospital. I am actually debating getting a second one so I can double express and half the time!

Also, I have a very windy baby! She had hiccups in the womb during labour and they haven't gone. Just have to sit her over out shoulder or keep her upright for at least 10 mins or so after feeding. I got some different bottles and they seem to help, but she does burp a lot, and loud! I think she gets it off me ha ha.

I also had a stay in hospital, went in on Wednesday 10.20am, took them and hour & half to check if I was dilated (I was, 6cm!) then all of a sudden seemed to be fully dilated and Harper was born 1.07pm. I then had massive PPH and lost 3.5 litres of blood, rushed to surgery, had to have my womb packed out as it wasn't contracting at all (even though I had the placenta injection thingy then loads of extra drugs) and ended up having 4 transfusions. Thought they would let me out on Friday (was still in delivery suite, and i swear it was 100 degrees in there, plus they don't feed you anything but toast or sandwiches, which is NOT what you need when recovering) but then Harper had jaundice......got home Sunday avo finally! Now I am on some adrenaline high, I did sleep last night as OH did the night shift, but generally feel amazing not to be pregnant, am waiting to crash and burn......

Is anyone else feeling very up and down emotionally? I was on top of the world a couple of days ago, and am still really happy but really, really weepy today. We've had a couple of difficult nights with (still unnamed!!)dd not settling after feeding so maybe I'm just tired. Haven't managed to get out much either since coming home due to painful scar and anaemia so I don't think thats helping. We're going to go for a coffee later, which feels like a major adventure, but maybe it will help.
Sorry to be moany

I am with you on the up & down front. I feel it especially in the evening - been quite weepy. Ive also had difficult nights - in fact a fair few more difficult than easy! For me getting out the house (when I can!) makes me feel better as does having a shower! Good luck with coffee this avo x

hi all, just popping in from the other side...still pg but due date is tomorrow and I had painful BH in the night so I'm naively hopeful I'll be officially with you soon!
theonly I expressed all my DD's feeds for a month so she had breast milk from the bottle, but eventually it got too much for me to keep up. I got bleeding hands from washing the breast pump all the time, and found I couldn't go out much because although DD would take a bottle, I still needed to express the next feed so I'd have to go home to do that. If your baby will breastfeed from you then in the long run you'll find it more convenient! I can highly recommend keeping up one bottle a day though so your OH can give you a break. HTH.

charlotte i feel much better when i go out too, im sure the coffee will help

Afternoon all, well if anyone feels like biting off more than they can chew- feel free to join me on a food shop with baby and toddler! it was horrendous! Dp was there to help
Think I'm going to realise my limits and save shopping for when dd is at nursery so I only take baby! I ended up breast feeding at the checkout !

Anyway- last night baby Eva slept from 9-230 but then only went till 4 struggled to settle then woke at 7. Not too bad as dd1 also slept in until 7! Dp on the other hand got up early to do the ironing!

I keep getting really bad muscle ache in my hamstring- Mw says it was pushing but dd is 11 days old now??

Highs and lows are normal- I cried the other day and threw a strop at Dp as he was doing my head in complaining about fantasy football

Im getting fed up with my bloody stitches and this dam tear :(

I finished my tablets on Monday but today it looks likt the infection hasnt cleared which means more dam antibiotics... got to go to the doctors tomoro for them to have a good old look (dignaty really does go out the window when you have a baby doesnt it)

All I want to do is start my fitness DVD again, then il start feeling better about myself therefore my mood will get better too!!

Ahhhhhh rant over

charlottery and fizzypigs - I was all over the place with my emotions / moods for the first week or two. One minute I'd be all smiles and elation and the next I would be sobbing over nothing and for no reason. It is all hormones so don't worry, it doesn't last forever. I am fairly stable now emotions-wise, unless I get thoroughly exhausted or DH does something to piss me off

winter so sorry to hear your infection hasn't cleared. And also sorry about your impending undignified trip to your gp. It is such a treat being a woman sometimes - periods, smear tests, pregnancy-related poking and prodding, all your bits on display during childbirth and then post-pregnancy poking and prodding. Can't wait for my first mammogram too! Really hope you're healed again soon.

I have had a lovely day today - went for coffee (and cake!) with some NCT buddies this afternoon, followed by registering the girls' birth followed by brief shopping trip in town followed by impromptu cuppa at a friend's house as she wanted to meet the girlies. Sadly, I'm now back at home / the dairy (expressing AGAIN at the mo) and soon to start tackling the flea infestation :(

my nesting kicked in last night. Was my turn for night shift and the kitchen was almost gutted! Harper so well behaved, she likes to go on the breast about 2am but that seems to be more for comfort. OH said he likes being involved in the feeding as was something he worried about and Harper likes it. Gonna get a 2nd pump to double express.

I feel pretty good apart from tiredness but me and OH share everything and i am amazed at how well we work together and had no arguments so far! So he on night shift tonight and got friends coming round to cook dinner. Registered Harper today amazed there on time i am normally late for everything anyway!

MrsVidic oh dear!! When DS1 was 2 he used to be a nightmare in the supermarket so I used to go food shopping when when he was in nursery with just the baby and it was much more stressfree. For the last year (since DS1 turned 3 and DS2 turned 1) they both love going food shopping so I have been taking them both and they've been great. When DS2 hits the terrible tantrumming twos properly I will no longer be doing that though! I will just take baby on a nursery/pre-school day instead!

I am also a bit up and down emotionally. I know that a lot of it is hormone related but I think it's also because Matthew will be our last baby and I'm struggling to accept that. I'd happily have more newborn babies for ever more, it's such a special time - but they grow up and three children is what we had hoped for and is quite enough to care for and provide for. I can't bear the thought of parting with the baby things, just the thought of it makes me tearful . Will have to pick some of my favourite clothes to keep I suppose. Doesn't help that people keep asking if we're going to have a fourth to 'try for a girl' as though our family can't be complete as we only have one gender of children.