July 2010: the "a ffffew more birthdays, a ffffew more walking but are they all sleeping? Are they ffffeck!" one

[CakeandRoses]

tsc I miss the post about Frankie, oh my poor Frankie and poor you hope your both ok now, must have been such a shock!
mlic posh spice has had 4 c-sections maybe Chulta could use this to her advantage if they said she couldnt have 4!?
trudyla sounds like a nice day maybe you could use cake as a way of keeping her quiet?! I feel ok in the morning a flake away during the day so im back wrapped in a blanket on sofa now, I have eaten a nice chicken tea that dh sort of made with my help, I m eating so slowly at the moment then I went and coughed so much it came up, all this coughing should be flattening my stomach but it isnt! :(

grr after all week last week panicing about fil getting what I have, mil wants to come over tomorrow, all her family have breathing problems, she is the only one that isnt on oxygen all the time but she still gets floored if she gets a cough, looks like I will be spending my morning hiding upstairs!

I would love more kids

If all that I had to do was the labour part I'm sure we'd have more unfortunately my body seems to fall apart when I'm pregnant. I had hyperemessis from about 8weeks until I gave birth and had to take medication just so I could keep things down. I also had a bad back from about 15 weeks which led me to have to use crutches followed by a zimmer frame and from 18weeks I was on bed rest to stop me doing permenant damage to my self from the way I was walking. I still have to have phsio once a week I'm no where near as bad as when I was pregnant but I'm still not great and I think the physio is a bit stumped as to why I'm not getting any better now.

If it was up to me I would risk it all again next time might not be so bad but all of this was to much for dh it was hell for him watching me suffer and he had to hold down a full time job with 80hr weeks in the winter with doing all the housework and doing almost everything with Dylan. So he feels he could never go through it all again.

I get really sad now when I see newborn babies and I think that's why I found it so hard when b gave up breastfeeding because its something that I found special which I'll never get to do again.

I feel like I've had the choice to have more children taken away from me sometimes that makes me feel angry and occasional relieved but mainly it makes me very sad.

Sorry for the essay although it feels good to have it all written down I've got no one to talk to about it apart from dh and he can't understand why I would want more children after everything I went through.

Gosh dylthan I'm so sorry to hear that. And I'm sorry I opened up a wound with my question. But please do keep talking if it helps. Your pregnancies must have been so difficult, but having the decision whether to have more taken away ffrom you must be really, really hard. I really feel for you. ffI'm pretty sure I won't want anymore after this one, but I also wouldn't want anyone else to decide for me. Does your DH know that you ffeel that way?

Thanks trudyla yes my dh knows how I feel.

My first pg wasn't actually that bad I was sick until about 20 weeks and would still get really nauseous up until D was born. I felt really uncomfortable near the end but then who doesn't.

It was my pg with B that just kept going from bad to worse.

But then that makes me feel that with both pregnancys being so different then if we had another one then it may be fine. But dh thinks that because the second pregnancy was worse then the first then a third would be even worse again iyswim.

It's not a gamble he's willing to take.

mlic Mmm macdonalds breakfast. wish him a happy birthday from me :o

I think I'm starting to come to terms with the no more babies thing. My sil is pregnant and due in October I thought it would be really hard to be around her but it wasn't at all.

I think I was having a bad moment yesterday but that's the thing I can be fine most of the time but when the sadness kicks in it kicks in hard. So sorry for my self indulgent whinning yesterday

On the plus side of our family now being complete i'll be 43 when B is 18 and D will be 22 so if they haven't left home they should at least be able to be left while we go travelling which we would love to do.

dylthan My friend was like you with her back with her 3rd pg then it got worse and she was in hospital from 3 months as her discs prolapsed, she wanted more but has had to admit defeat, you have two gorgeous kids and like you say you will be travelling the world in your early 40's!
We are pretty sure we would have another but I get filled with doubt about my illness, we were lucky L didnt have a heart defect and I worry we wouldnt be so lucky second time round, I know the hospital would be happier if we stopped now.
mlic what did you buy DH?
I have just woken up to no dh, L or dog, He must have taken them out a while a go as L was standing at the bottom of the stairs shouting mammeeeee!
Im feeling really down today, I feel like im never going to get better at this rate, ive improved but now im in that limbo of feeling ill but if I push myself I can do stuff but I know this is making me worse!

MemphisThank you. You're poor friend. Everything seems to point to the fact that dh is right it will never be alright a 3rd time round.

But you really have to rest. You'll feel much better after a couple of days of slobbing out .

Didn't you say you're dh was home this weekend? If he is take full advantage of it and do nothing. Please don't push yourself anymore

Hope you feel 100% better soon x

Happy birthday to your DH mlic hope you have a good day.

My dad lost his job yesterday. He'd had an interview for it earlier in the month and has been up in the air and was told theres no position for him anymore. Hes been there nearly 30 years :(

We're going to start trying for a baby around April time next year

memphis hope you feel better v soon.

happy birthday to mr mlic! enjoy yukky mcdonalds

I'm slightly dull-headed this morning so please forgive anything i've missed

so, SIL's step-dds and MIL arrived yesterday. they really are lovely girls but it's just not great having bedding/discarded clothing/weightwatchers yoghurts (mostly all MILs) everywhere. tbh, i struggle with guests at any time as i hate the mess so it's more my issues than anything

dh has just taken all 5 of them out for breakfast tho so it's not all bad!

i think i forgot to tell you what the plan is for A's 'party' today - we're going to a beer festival (on our street) then for a curry! my father and dh convinced me of the benefits of this plan . tbh, i don't suppose A will care as long as she's got family and friends around her.

i'm trying to think of non-annoying/dangerous activities and toys to take to the festival for the children. any thoughts please?

dylthan am bloody of your planned travelling in your 40s. i can't bear to even do the maths as to how old my two will be when i'm 43. i did do tons of travelling etc in my 20s and 30s tho so i don't have any regrets.

trudy good luck with the party today (it is today isn;t it?) maybe you'll just have to feed M cake every day for the rest of her life (it works for me )

memph R.E.S.T.

Morning all

dyth really feel for you about the pg, you do have lots o look forward too and will still be young when you have grankids.

mlic happy birthday to your dh, have a great day.

cakes sounds like a fab day to me. Have the girls brought things with them to play with?

tsc sounds like a lovely night. Where is mil staying?

memphis Stay in bed, dh is letting you rest so please do it! {{Hugs}} for you.

dh we may be pg buddies with how long it takes me to get pg

Well child free tonight so going for. Dinner but of course af has arrived!!

That's true stac mum was 42 when I made her a granny :o

Hope you and dh have a lovely night.

cakes sounds like a great day. We've got our annual street bbq today I missed last years because I was in having B.

Then tomorrow is B's birthday we're having a bbq for it too. I hope the weather stays nice.

Ill only be 42 when D is my age, I think its nice ill have so much time still when they're grown up and gone.

oh god tsc, so sorry to hear that. are you cancelling? i really hope they can get his breathing sorted and you can come home later today.

fingers and toes and everything crossed for you all.

we have done the big shop for the party tomorrow. my grandparents are arriving any minute - i need to clean the bathroom but i have a sleeping j on me. he wouldn't blinkin' nap all day till now, it's been a pain!

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends who are celebrating! And a big happy birthday to mlic's dh!
Oh god tsc the poor little boy :( and poor you can imagine it's scary. Keep us posted as to how he is

tsc thinking of you all, hope frankie is ok, and will be on top form for tomorrow.
my mum was 36 when my sis made her a granny her gc are 19,16,1 and 1 month!
Still ill even DH has said I need to go back to the doctors, I have improved from last week but still feel rough, MIL told me off about not drinking enough, I cant help it! now to top it off I cant eat, when I do I cough it back up pissedoff.com ...oh and to top it off, i think all my bodies energy is going into growing another head on my forehead, its maffis, I never get spots but im getting loads as im sweating so much!

I'm so sorry tsc. I really hope he is better by now and you can get something sorted that will help him long term.

fMy MIL really suffffered from astma when they were living west of the Pennines on a busy road and is completely symptom ffree now that they've moved away. Do you have lots of heavy traffic near your house?

We had a lovely party. M was so cute and went to almost everyone and smiled and played. fI feel a bit cross with one of the guests who took over a bit and just plonked a piece of cake on M's plate (a bought one that she had brought) even though I had said that I wanted her to eat something else first cos she didn't have much to eat all day and while I was still feeding her. She just said, Oh I feel so sorry for this child, everyone is eating cake and she has to eat that crap, here you go, and put some of that shitty cake on, even though M was quite happy eating what I was giving her. So I - said infront of everyone - that I want her to have some other ffood in her little tummy first and that I will give her some cake later, but certainly not that one, but one of the -very many- that I had painfully made especially for my daughter.f This woman is now sulking with me and I feel bad fffor having told her off, but I still feel the same way about it. Nevermind. The rest of the party was brilliant. My cat cake looked awesome, even if I say so myself and M had a good time, which is the main thing.

Happy Birthday Mr MLIC, hope you had a good day.

How was the party cake? I'm glad we didn't plan to go to a street party cos it's been pissing it down all day. It's almost monsoon like, it's so heavy.

ffNothing planned for tomorrow, just chilling. M got a rocking horse, and she looks very cute and proud riding on it. So I guess we will be rocking a lot tomorrow.

Enjoy your weekend.

Sorry he's still not better tsc. Fingers crossed for tomorrow.f