dec 2008- Who will stonk it in & be crown queen of the thread?

[HRHvagolaJahooli]

He we are ladies though I may need to change my name as royal title may be stripped.

PD, I can't do the post I wanted to at the moment but did just want to say that it sounds so hard, because you are not only dealing with your own grief but everyone else's issues/grief, plus regret or annoyance or whatever at your Dad's alcoholism and all sorts of things besides. I do think things will feel a modicum better after the funeral or wake but try not to think about it all at once if you can and I hope you can slowly grope your way through it all. Oh, and do be kind to yourself because when someone dies, however prepared we might think we are it is always, on some level, a terrible shock.

PD I can strongly empathise with your message - my dad too was an alcoholic, he died the day I was coming to visit him on his birthday. I found that I'd done a lot of my grieving before he died as he had had a few near misses (falling asleep driving, crashing on motorways, docs telling he had 5 years to live 20 before he died etc). I found I had to distance myself emotionally more each time so when it did happen I would be 'prepared'. I know it's not the same as your situation, but I do know how alcoholism destroys whole families along with the alcoholics themselves.

More to others later.

PD what a hard time you've had. Must be an impossibly frustrating situation to be in.

beans Don't feel guilty about sex dreams. My latest was about Stephen Merchant! I can think of people I'd much rather have rude dreams about! Ed Milliband was one of mine a few months ago!

Hello,

Just popping in to say hi really. Also had a skim through and wanted to say how sorry I am about your dad PD. I know it isn't the same but the last conversation I had with my Grandad before he died was about how confusing it was watching me fold up D's pushchair. He was saying that when my Mum was born her pram was the size of a tank. I now wish I had talked to him about something much more important.

Hope everyone is well. I am trying to keep up with MN much more so I will try to pop in much much more often.

spot I did wonder if that's what you meant the other week when you said your dad's death was self-inflicted. I wrote a post last night but lost it and it was pretty much word for word what you said about the distancing yourself emotionally and preparing yourself for the inevitable. Bloody cheerfulness eh? Actually oddly enough, when I'd been to see his body in the hospital last week the first thing I did was head to the nearest pub. Meanwhile my dad's wife was at home pouring bottles of gin and cans of beer down the sink. That's why she's not going to either of the wakes. And the reason there are 2 wakes is that my sis didn't want to have it at his local drinking hole because it's where he drank and it's full of people who helped him on his way as far as she's concerned. But his mates wanted to have their own do there, which is fair enough I think. It would have been nice to all be in one place I think, although to be honest I think a load of pissheads slurring what a great bloke my dad was in my face all afternoon would quickly wear thin.

Yes LadyT I've felt a lot of anger over the years because I find that easier to deal with than the other emotions. Hopefully the anger will subside now and I can start to remember the good things about my dad.

Kayz good to see you & thanks for the kind words. That sounds like a nice last conversation with your grandad.

JB Stephen Merchant? How thrilling. Mind you I don't know which of us is more desperate - my last one was about one of this year's Apprentice candidates (the Irish one). It was very chaste - he touched my hand and it was quite thrilling. Need to get some out more.

PD: am getting boys into bed but wanted to say how sorry I am about your dad and the associated funeral stresses. If you need someone to mutter at you have my number.

PD I'm so sorry, much love to you x

PD Things sound tough right now. I'll be thinking of you on Friday. I hope that after all the stresses of the funeral you can find the time to remember the good times with your Dad.

Hikayzr lovely to hear from you, how are things with you?

Oh lady how utterly ridiculous of your MIL. DS was always such a chunky boy, got my back right up if people ever made out he was fat, they are babies for goodness sake!

We have a lot of people AWOL at the mo; where's Vag, Rubes, Summer, Trace...I'm certain there are others, have they all gone on a secret holiday and not invited us!

Diedre things are good here. It seems to be all systems go at the minute. We are going to try for a baby soon. Starting in September. I'm hoping it'll go well with DP working away. Just got to keep fingers crosses he will be at home for the crucial times. Also still planning on getting married next year so I'll probably be heavily pregnant. Plus we need to move house. We've found a gorgeous house which is perfect for us. Just need to finish ours first and get it valued.

DS1 starts school full time in September. He seems so grown up now.

hello. at a laptop finally but no braincells functional. sorry.

pd - that all sounds so complicated and not what you need right now. lots of love to you and will be thinking of you

lady - your mil is MENTAL. but you knew that

kayz - hi there. how exciting!

jealous of the meet ups. cambridge girls - can i come up and visit please? anyone else?

a combination of big madam being ill and sleeping like an idiot, and little madam teething (TWO TEETH AT 4 1/2 MONTHS), and being a little madam who wants to feed every 2.5 hours, very little sleep has been achieved in the waitinghousehold for the past 5 nights. yawn.

i'm sure i had something else to say. but i can't remember. yawn.

love to all

Hooroo here I am, sorry, I've been lurking but with DS1 on holidays I've only had fleeting chances to read and can't get the consistent time together required to actually post. We've been tres busy at Villa Vag, Cars 3D a couple of nights ago, catching up with friends who are leaving soon and dinosaurs. Also last night I went out for above friends leaving dinner and got totally hammered. Another of the dinners guests and I were in the lucky position of having DHs working from home yesterday so we took the opportunity to flee the coup early and meet for a predinner drink, well two. Then got straight into the prosecco (why is that suddenly the starter drink of choice at restaurants now), before some yummy Italian vino which preceded several digestifs. The result is a bad head this morning.

DS2 is demanding attention so I'll be brief.

PD you sound like you have a rough couple of weeks ahead. Please unload here, I don't know if it will make you feel any better but at least we can sympathize and be a sounding board.

JJ that house hold up sounds annoying. All these HCP and bits the govt was a waste all they needed to do was make it a legal requirement to undertake all searches etc in a timely manner.

Spot anymore word on your house? What's the deal.

Lady that is such a horrible thing of your MIL to say. Can she even hear herself?

Hi Kayz good luck with the TTC.

Beans that is a horrible thing for your DH to say, is he having issues with work, though no amount of stress should allow someone to say that. On the dirty dreams I did very bad things to CSI Nick Stokes a couple of nights ago.

Hi Ef, Avo & Trudy. Trace & Urbswhere are you. Hi Jolly & a proper loud Woohoo and congrats to ZJ. Sybs how are you getting on?

Right this is a perfect example of why I haven't posted lately this has taken an hour to type.

Isn't it odd that it's so difficult to post now the babes are toddlers? Actually it's not so strange as babies can't tell you to get away from the computer and play with them! I'm at work waiting for a tour to start so a sneaky post.

WG: two teeth already? Your DD2 is a prodigy. She'd better be the most restful toddler ever after all of this!

Jolly: camping. Air beds and folding chairs. And a lantern. The rest I think you work out on successive trips - things I thought would be essential (like lots of spare clothes) turned out to be a bit pointless as being grubby is part of the camping experience!

Lady: I can sing of our travails with BT broadband. DH has decided to fix it himself with a capacitor bought off the Internet. Utterly useless the lot of them.

Oops they're here!

Hey all. Kayz - lovely to hear from you. Wow, well done you with new DP - that's lovely that you've found someone. Well done you. It was a tough time for you.

DH apologised unreservedly and has been v sweet since. Phew.

Been down to Kent today to see a friend and then onto parents. DD1 had a swim, while DD2 slept. Could feel that my parents didn't really want me there as they were both tired. I have to navigate so many toes not to step on when I'm down there, it's quite hard work. I was going to do supper and bath there, but ended up leaving at 3.30. Probably the best thing, but left on a bit of a sour note. But never mind. I had kept DD1 up so that she slept post supper for car journey and so we had to do a lot of loud singing in the car on the way back to keep her awake as she would then NEVER have gone to sleep tonight!!! She made it. Just. Literally nodded off 5 mins from home and I mercilessly wrenched her thumb out of her mouth so she didn't go to sleep. Evil mummy.

Got another 5km on Monday. Did one at 6.30 this morning and actually it wasn't too bad. Although only managed 34 mins. But am telling myself that I'm not racing, so don't have to push it, just keep my oar in. Got race on Monday and I MUST get under 30mins!!!! My friend told me today she does it in 25 mins. Depressing. But she did used to be a personal trainer and goes running every other evening. Phew.

WG - you poor lamb. I hate sleep deprivation. There is a reason it's used as torture. You'll come through it and one day you'll look back and laaaaaaugh! Not.

Lady - you MIL has issues. Seriously. Babies are pudgy. That's how it should be!!! And it's heavenly as you can sink your face into them when you kiss them!

I hope the funeral goes as well as funeral's can Pd, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope that, in the end, the good memories prevail x

I seem to remember someone's BIL having alcohol problems, was it Beans or Urbs? (sorry for the crap memory). Whoever it is, how is your sister doing?

at both LadyT's MIL and Beans DH. grr

How was your deep sea diver Sybs?

Hurrah for bedtime bribery Jump

My fingers are crossed for better sleep very soon WG. Not a patch on your nights, but for the last 2 nights DD has been wailing in her sleep every 45 minutes or so. V frustrating as she's sound asleep but its loud enough to wake me. And to add insult to injury, I stubbed my toe on the door as a stumbled to see if she was awake or asleep at whatever time, ouch

Yay for good nights out with friends Vaj, but boo to bad heads

Effie I'm always hearing 'put your telephone down Mummy, NOW'

Hi to Indith and Kayz

LadyT I'm trying hard not to get overexcited with my little bean, but you ladies are the only people who I can talk to. Even DH doesn't want to talk about, I think he was quite affected by our friend's missed mc earlier this year and it's made him realise that it isn't all plain sailing. But I'd at least like to not be glared at for mentioning I've seen a MW! And Jolly I haven't got a scan date yet, but I expect early August. We won't be telling DD for a while, as she can't even wait until this afternoon if we promise her something, let alone until next year. Which meant the conversation with the MW was rather coded, as her little ears were flapping 'what lady talking about Mummy?'

ZJ it was me with alcoholic BIL. It's just rumbling on as always. He has given up spirits, which just means he drinks more wine and beer, and yet can congratulate himself on no whisky. It's sad really.

Glad you can chat to us on here about your little niblet in your tummy. Will keep fingers and legs and everything crossed for you. Particularly legs.

Right, second beer of the night and all is well with the world. And I am heading to the crown of highest poster. Ssssshhhhh, Beans!

Broadband is on stream! Yaaaaaaaaaaay. I can't post now as supper is ready but DP is at work tomorrow and I am going to do a big fat post.

Thinking of you tomorrow, PD.

And proper personals to you all tomorrow. I have so missed posting/keeping up properly.

Quick request for the white light/prayer power of you all, S's lovely godmother (mum of miracle baby M) has just had her baby, a tiny bit early and a good weight but baby has had a seizure so is being kept in NICU for observations - can you send your strongest vibes that the baby is fine and they get home soon as.

sorry, should of course have said, baby is another girl :) so between S, M, E and newbie they will be taking over the world in about 30 years' time

house def off - they've pulled out because they couldn't find a rental cheaper than the mortgage. should have done their homework first .

thinking of you, pd. xxx

Hello!

Have been gone so long I couldn't find you all.

Had a fab holiday in Canada and then been busy with jetlag and sorting out shite for work after work takeover (all last minute as I missed loads of stuff when on holiday) so not had chance to post. Canada was amazing, we just hung out in Vancouver for a week, went to whistler for a week and then back to Vancouver again. Stayed with our friends in Vancouver and they came to whistler with us, so was very laid back compared to, eg, staying in hotel. Though their little girl (18 months) gets up between 4 and 5 every morning and SCREAMS. Holy shit. How they manage I don't know. So we were in bed by 10 every night - ish as they go to sleep at 8-9 every night! Which should have made the jetlag coming back better really but it didn't really as the kids were a bit of a nightmare not going to bed between them til 2:30am (but then waking at 9, which is ok on the weekend, but not so much in work week for DH). All sorted now though!

Anyway I am now very jealous of them as Vancouver is so fantastic, with it's mountains and ocean and parks all right in or by such a lovely big vibrant city. So Jealous. And 2.5 hrs from Whistler with the best mountain biking in the world, which makes me So. Jealous. Fucking hell why do I live in Cambridge, shitty flatsville? We got to do quite a bit of biking with a combination of a days paid childcare and swapping around. It's proper downhill so you get loads and loads of technical downhill riding and you get a lift up so no uphill slogging and you can ride an enormous bike with loads of suspension having to have ridden it up. And it was amazing, sigh. They even have a women's night twice a week which has about 40 women at it, some of whom are just totally brilliant, there are only about 40 women in the whole UK who do downhill mountain biking I reckon! Anyway enough boring about biking.

What have I missed.

I want to say sorry to pd about the death of your dad, and I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope you can think of happy memories after tomorrow.

Also I don't believe I have said a muffled hurrah to zj. That is just super news!! Not to mention your DD being excited and not being able to wait, I can't wait! What is due date? Sorry should not get over excited.

I have been lurking a bit so what can I remember.

Oh yes, I don't think I have even congratulated ladyt on the move. Hurrah!

And sorry I missed Cambridge mini meet up spot and jj.

But YES YES YES to meet up wg. I said jam and rubes should come and visit me anyway. Shall pluck date out of the air and suggest Friday 29th July? Anyone else, effie maybe and jj? I can message NJAN too who never seems to come on here any more. Would you fancy coming here or did you specifically want to visit Cambridge centre?

What else did I have to say.

Hmm..weight loss, I have put on 3kg in canada, holy shit, have a massive flabby tummy again. I think as much the excessive beer consumption as the food. Been trying to diet though, so hopefully will go quick. Mostly eating soup, not cabbage soup though!

Hmmm..exercise, must do more. am trying to figure out what to do, I tried British Military Fitness earlier in the week (which you mentioned zj, haha, it wasn't too scary though made me quite achy as used lots of muscles I haven't used in years. I really can't do sit ups!). Not sure it's for me though as you have to sign up to do it at least once a week so worried if that's one "evening pass" I won't manage to go biking EVER. So I think that means I have decided to get my ass in gear and go biking more often. I also might buy the Shred DVD which I suspect is similar to British Mil Fit except without the running.
beans i have a friend who runs 10k in 40-45 mins (can't remember exact time). She really doesn't run that much either (maybe 2-3 times a week). This time was acheived when she had a 9 month old baby. Holy cow, I guess some people are just born athletes.

Oh and hello to kayz, glad things are going well, hope you can keep up more.

Right shall post this, and then perhaps an el cheeky beer. Diet, what diet?

X posts with jj lots of prayers for your friend.

spot BALLS BALLS BALLS. The twats..

Oh i also wanted to say trace re the stair gate, if door's too wide, we have that and DH has drilled a bit of wood into the wall to make it fit on our staircase....could do that if that is the problem...though our staircase is only a couple of cm too wide.

oh and fruity dreams. Well as well as Tim from Masterchef, I went through a phase of dreaming that I was going out with my ex boyfriend (though usually that I wanted to dump him) or that I was single and going dating. Or that I wanted to dump DH (yikes!). Seems to have stopped now. I am feeling quite pro DH at the moment, also think my libido has woken up a bit after finishing bf which probably helps. though I don't have period back yet, is that weird (it was 1.5 months ago I stopped). I really hope I am not clackered!

Oh and DD is delightful at the mo. She loves standing up (not holding onto anything in the middle of room/park, etc), just wibbling around. No interest in taking steps, just standing there wibbling. bless her. She is also sleeping well (sleeping through!), fingers crossed for it continuing. rubes how is DD's sleeping going?

Huge love to PD for tomorrow and lots of good wishes to JJ's friend. Will be thinking of you all.

Hope all goes ok today PD. Thinking of you and yours. x

PD am thinking of you today. I hope you get through it okay x

JJ much love and prayers for your friends Lo.

Beans I did 5k last night took me 35 mins but it was roasting hot.But I appear to have buggered my hip in can't walk properly today!

Summer glad you had a lovely holiday, sounds good.

I had a rather odd saucy dream about me and Jay-z the other day! Hope Beyonce doesn't mind ha ha

More later when I'm not on my phone.