dec 2008- Who will stonk it in & be crown queen of the thread?

[HRHvagolaJahooli]

He we are ladies though I may need to change my name as royal title may be stripped.

Beans, Beans, Beans - I am glad your DH has apologised but I am still aghast at what he said. If the stress is about money tell him to stop going out, stop entering costly athletics events and stop insisting on a short commute. Seriously, its him that spending on non-vitals, not you, he needs to see that. You are a wonder-wife. You really are. You cook for him, clean for him, iron for him, accept his frequent (avoidable) adsences without complaint and you are a minx in the bedroom. He should be in awe of you. He really should.

Re biting: DD2 has been a biter since before she had teeth. When frustrated she would dig her little gummy jaws into me. Over two years alter she is still at it. Last summer I had bruises up and down my arms from her bites, I had to wear long shirts to hide them! Only a couple of months ago she bit DD1 so hard on the cheek that it bled and there is still a scar. Today she bit DD1's nipple while getting changed at the pool... she really is heading for an ASBO and nothing stops her (she takes herself to the naughty step after each bite and throws a tantrum if I try and stop her).

Welcome back Vag. I am glad you had a fabby break. How is your ankle and your cold today?

ZJ, thanks for worrying about my recess being ruined by the recall of parli ament. DH has been in all week dealing with it but given our nanny is in Ireland I could not leave the girls and work accepted that thank goodness. We had to cancel a planned overnight to Brighton because DH could not come but its rescheduled for next week and now coincides with DD1's birthday which is nice. I think we will take her to the Sea Life Centre. In fact we have been v lucky and seen no evidence of the riots at all. I took the girls to the zoo on Tuesday and everyone had clearly been scared away from the centre of town because we practically had it to ourselves. Not a queue in sight. Bliss. I am having such a lovely time being at home with the girls, I will be gutted when I do have to return to work (so will DD1 who keep searching for "real gold" do I we get rich and I can be with her everyday).

Syb, I hope you are OK. Has your neighbourhood gone back to normal yet?

Kiwi, so sorry to hear about the moving stress, any news on that? And I am sorry that this pregnancy is stressful. Why are they scanning you every two weeks?

We are going camping with friends tomorrow. My first non-festival camping. Wish me luck.

I don't know, I guess part of it's down to my guilt that I'm not working, if you know what I mean. I feel like I ought to be contributing to the household costs, rather than just spending money. So, he doesn't have to say much for me to go into over-reaction and get really uptight. The ironing thing was really an aside to the money thing. And he does offer to do his own shirts, but I feel bad that I'm not working and so I get all over-apologetic and say no, no, I'll do it. So it's kind of my responsibility as well. It's silly, because having children is bloody hard work, but I think I mostly enjoy it and so it doesn't seem as bad as working! Although, what I would give to be able to pop out for lunch at the drop of a hat. Bliss.

Aspa - glad you haven't had to go back to work. The zoo sounds amazing that empty. We had it like that once. But I think that was because it was pissing with rain!!!

Biting issue sounds like it's not going to be resolved for a while.

Where is Lady? DD1 has cottoned on to us going to Wales this weekend and keeps asking if we're going to see whales. V sweet. I have promised to take her sailing, while leaving DD2 at home, so I can spend a bit of time with her. Am kind of banking on my Mum looking after DD2 for me so I can do it! EEEK! Let's hope she's open to that kind of babysitting! She does love a baby, so fingers crossed!

Can I do a little boast? Sorry, but don't feel I can do it to friends in RL as might think I'm a dick! BUT, DD2 has a little repertoire of words. She has Mummy and Daddy sorted, but also has "bye bye", "Hello", "bubble", "jump jump" and can point to her nose when you ask. AND when you get into "row row row your boat" position, she says "row row row". Am v proud!!! What a little star. She's not 14 months yet, so am fiercely proud of her, but am wary of showing off! Especially as friends with nearest age babies aren't any where near her, so feel like a smuggo if I mention it! Which I probably am a bit, irritatingly!! Sorry!

beans not smug at all! She is a bloody superstar...just like her mum. Clever DD2.

Aspa Have a lovely weekend camping. Still miserable with rain here, DVD & cake amking I suspect.

I still have the headache I went to bed with last night, I feel a bit sick and I could swear its making things taste funny. Is that normal? I'moff to buy one of those 4head sticks on Lady's recommendation.

Oh DB - that sounds like a migraine to me. Poor you! Horrid.

Not sure what to do with the kids today. It's not raining, but it's not that interesting either. They were both up at 6.15 today, and I was up 4 times with DD2 again. Lovely and advanced though she is, she's a little bugger at night.

Beans DD2 is clearly advanced and you should be proud. Hooray for her.

Hi Avo glad to see you didn't have to go back but sorry hubby did.

I'm still having an ongoing argument with my.friend on FB he's blaming parents now and advocating allowing parents to beat their children and bringing back the cane. Urgh. Seriously why is it every generation thinks theirs was completely angelic and subsequent generations are the devils spawn!

DS1's last day of school holidays today :( he and DS2 are playing in their bedroom, I don't know how he'll cope when his brother goes back.

The gite we stayed in last week has retained ?50 of our deposit because the downstairs toilet seat was broken. I was the last to use it and it was fine when I left it so I have told him that but i don't think we have much rights in this matter. It's his word against ours, but I know for sure that it was fine when I left it. I'm wandering if the cleaner broke it and is trying to cover up, or if its broken at all.

Morning me dears!

Sorry for extended absence! Was visiting old friends in Sheffield then went straight down to London for a bit. Haven't caught up properly but before I do, very quickly -

Beans - your DH is being incredibly unfair. And selfish. I have more to say on this....

Crikey, Sybs, hope you're ok!

Aspa, I walked past Parliament yesterday and thought of your DH. Have a lovely weekend, I hope the weather perks up (it's a bit dull/rainy here)

KP - nah, no TT here. DD1 refuses. I need to stay put for a week and basically put her in the garden (and kitchen, which has slate tiles which will wipe...)

Rubes, am now intrigued about what you said

Gosh, yes, Rubes, what did you say. I read your post and my recall is that it was about your DH ironing his own shirts and enjoying a long commute to work as it allowed him train. Did I miss some salacious gossip conveyed in code??? I do hope so, what was it?!

He has been unfair. BUT he has apologised, and I've accepted it, so will move on. Plus he was lovely when he got home last night and really gorgeous this morning as well. He is well aware that he was out of order and is now making up for it. He is offering loads of childcare this weekend so I can pack for holiday and because he wants to spend time with the girls and I can have a bit of time off. Taking it all!

Just been to buy DD1 a new pair of wellies - see I can't stop spending money! Hee hee! But hers are 2.5 sizes too small, so it was time! She chose some red ones. V sweet.

no big deal, didn't like the way it sounded. Don't want to offend.

Another minipost before I go in the shower as I am STILL in my pyjamas...

Beans, I know you have made up with your DH and prob don't want to hear any more about it. But...a few random thoughts.

1. Your DH needs to get himself some more shirts.
2. Ironing - not much ironing goes on here - the bare minimum. If DP has the iron out, he will iron an item or two of mine. If I do, I will do him a shirt or two. He doesn't expect me to do the ironing. If I iron some shirts, it's a treat/favour/kindness! However, I have done more recently because he has been busy with work and the house and I know it's one less hassle for him in the morning. But it's a mixed blessing as I am actually crap at ironing shirts. In fact, when I was doing it last weekend, I meant to ask on here what the secret was to good shirt ironing (If that sounds unacceptably retro and unreconstructed to some, I actually also need this for my own shirts )
3. You hardly ever seem to buy yourself treats. A Spendy Wendy you ain't. I think you need to treat yourself MUCH MORE.
4. You are in the same position as us, in that it is basically uneconomic for you to work at the moment cos of cost of childcare. Your DH needs to get this into his head. It's not your fault. And he ought to be blimmin' grateful you do what you do. HE IS REALLY LUCKY.
5. And a month of childcare and housework and he'd be begging to go back to the office. That sounds like I resent my little treasures. I don't, I adore 'em and the bigger picture is that I am glad it's this way. BUT - the person who works outside the home has: their own money that they earn themselves/lots of adult company/achieving something more tangible/approval for stuff they do/headspace, without little whatnots shouting "Mummy!" or needing something every 14 seconds...I haven't expressed all that very well, as I am feeling lazy, but you get the gist.

6.He needs to sort out in his mind what he really wants re: new house/commuting.

Oh and DD2 sounds a little smasher with her words

Crossposted with you, Beans. I will shut up now. But I do have a lot of sympathy re: being the One At Home. DP is cool about it, actually, the issues are mine. He doesn't actually expect me to do ANY housework or any of that stuff. As far as he is concerned, I am doing a brill job just looking after the kids and he is grateful. But he still moans that he would rather be at home sometimes, which gets on my nerves. If I didn't have a bit of my own money plus a tiny bit of freelance work I would probably be a fruitloop.

More apres lunch.

Lady - thanks. You make a lot of sense. DH needs a clean, ironed shirt every day for work, which is a bit of a shag. But I do find that those non-iron ones do still need ironing. Otherwise they look a bit crumply.

Anyhoooo, I am going to go and start getting myself packed up for this wonderful holiday, which I CANNOT wait to go on!

I think I get defensive when Dh raises anything that can be construed as criticism of the house, washing etc. It isn't MY job but as I'm at home I do most of it. It does cause tension sometimes ditto with money. I like what vag said about different roles in a team. I shall adopt that!

Nice to see you back ladyt.

Can you at least have a bit of an argument with the gite people Vag. Seems very unfair.

asp I thought of you when parliament was recalled as you joked about it happening a few weeks back!

Agreed, JB - I am ridiculously defensive. To the point where I know I'm being unreasonable.

I have just made fish pie for the littles. Was going to do it in individual ramekins, but it looked so delicious that I've put it in one big dish and am going to serve it up for DH and me tonight and they can have the leftovers tomorrow. Bugger it - am not cooking something that yummy, to be rejected and not eaten properly by anyone!!! Cod and salmon. Deeeelicious!

Ahh Ibuprofen, coffee & a cake seem to making the headache lift a little.

Beans Your fish pie sound yummy. Although I'm surprised you found the time to make it, you should have been ironing

Vag Was it a private rental or through a company? If through company I would try and threaten them that you'll never book with them again, you are 100% sure that you never broke it, who else has been in the gite since etc etc. Worth a shot protesting.

Hee hee! I've done all the ironing, DB!!!! HAHAHA!

MUST get DDs up and go to park. I am being v lazy. Reading The Talented Mr Ripley. Sadly, have seen the (brilliant) film, so can't imagine anyone in the parts apart from Matt Damon, Jude Law etc. But it's v good. Quite strange, too, to be reading old fashioned book, with linear time line, rather than jumping in and out of eras and seen just from one person's pov etc. Rather enjoying it.

Ooh ooh, I have also finally managed to SELL my wedding dress! Waiting to see what price I got for it - went through a company, who have been crap. Case in point - have told me they've sold it (after nearly 2 years), but not how much for!

Right, back for ze proper catch up. Might do it in parts as fed up of computer eating my longer posts.

One of my cricketers has invited himself round for supper tonight as he is at a loose end He is a friend of DP's as well - indeed, he is the person through whom we met. I wouldn't normally mind a jot, it would be a pleasure, but since we had two kids I find the whole bedtime routine so draining (even though they are both pretty good) that I just want to eat supper, take my lenses out, and then stare goggle-eyed (and four-eyed) at the box without speaking in the evenings. Sigh. I am quite boring.

SL - I am sorry I didn't say Happy Birthday to wee Helen on the day. What gift did her brother bestow - a nice bite?

ZJ - you could have a Valentine's Day baby! Your spreadsheet made me smile. I LOVE that you even crossed off what you didn't use. I have a spare copy of 'Rosie's Babies' which your DD might like. Will bring it up to York.

KP - if you are getting ZJ's spreadsheet, you won't need my list Everyone else will say 'toiletries, flip flops, breastpads, baby clothes'. Erm...phone charger and a full bag of slap were my essentials.

Kayz, I will let you off for not knowing about The Smiths as you are super young. But Beans, I despair I liked your explanation of the lyrics, Vag, and you mentioned Humberside but missed Dublin and Dundee (where there were no civic disturbances, as I recall )

DB, your poor head. Vile. As I said on FB, I do find the four pronged attack useful (am only repeating here in case some other poor bugger gets a bad head):

Nurofen or Nurofen Plus (which has codeine in)
4head stick
Caffeine (speeds up absorption of pills)
Inhaling lavender oil
And possibly lying down with a cool cloth on forehead

And your DS is doing so well with the TT.

JB - when are you off back to work? I think I am probably slightly defensive as well. Actually, I feel more stroppy about it with people I don't know well rather than DP.

I had more to say but I am going to post this before it goes up in a puff of smoke...

Vag, it sounds like the gite people are being sods. Can you bear to argue the toss with them? Tricky if it's your word against theirs though I guess.

Re: riots...it's just really shocking that so many kids basically just don't feel part of society/their community enough not to trash it. I have read so many opinion pieces in the papers over the last few days and watched so much news...but the thing is, am genuinely starting to think it's not enough to shake my head in my sitting room so am considering volunteering to be a mentor for youth offenders or something. It's only a few hours a month. Have thought about becoming a magistrate before now (it's a few days a year) but I may start with this and see how I get on.

I am not a bleeding heart especially, and in fact I have had to stop listening to Radio 4 because I am fed up of people coming on and saying the kids are rioting because of the cuts But I do feel that there are kids out there who have had a totally shitty start in life, been brought up by the tv etc and if I can give one of them my undivided attention for a few hours a month, well...at least I would feel that I was helping, in some infinitesimal way. Anyway, need to look into it a bit more.

Oooh, I have just had an enraging chat with my middle sister - she's the one I usually get on well with... She is going to be in Wales with us next week, but staying in the house, while we're in the up market caravan. Her husband isn't there either for a week, so she's there with her two nippers, who are 9 and 11, who DD1 adores. BUT she said to me that she doesn't want to upset me or piss me off, but while they're there, she tends to do her own thing with the kids, so not to expect to be with them the whole time. Oh my GOD! I don't know why it annoyed me so much - probably because I am tired, but I am not that dependent that I won't be doing my own thing with my own children!!! I'm on holiday too and although I love her dearly, I also want to spend time with the nippers on the beach. Hmph.

Lady - I think you even thinking of doing volunteering makes you a wonder woman in my eyes. I am far too lethargic and crap, but you are a good person.

Know what you mean re spontaneous dinner. I genuinely need to hype myself up for company. DH going for a swim with his cousin tomorrow morning, while his girlfriend comes to play with us, then staying for lunch. Will be v nice, but have been trying to summon enthusiasm today, even though they're two of my favourite people!!!

Just tell her, Beans

Oh bumwipes. I have done NOTHING today. Must at least tidy kitchen. Ooooh, I SO don't want company tonight. That'll teach me to moan about feeling isolated, ha ha.

I have equally done little. Apart from fish pie.

I am despairing on trying to get DDs to eat ANYTHING! I have got the blandest cheese and tomato pizza for their supper tonight. They won't eat it. Grrrrr. I thought it was a sure thing. Although DD1 has eaten one slice because I let her eat it in front of the telly.

Ok, one nectarine each, then a squeezy pouch of Ella's kitchen Orange One each and DD2 had a squeezy pouch of rice pudding too. That's it. Lawks. No wonder they don't sleep through much! Although I never feed them in the night. Ho hum.

Gosh. We go and stay in a field for a few days and everything explodes. Hope those in London are ok and everything has settled down. Sybs: did you get your groceries in the end?

TT: we are going v v slowly. DS2 will now wee and poo on the potty when prompted, but I haven't tried keeping him nappy free yet. Breakthrough came when he was offered opal fruits rather than choc buttons. Any sweet that needs upwrapping is obviously superior.

Kiwi: that all sounds v v stressful. I like ZJ's spreadsheet though. I certainly found my second pg harder, and we had more scans and stuff. 30 weeks already!

Hol was nice, the boys loved camping but next time we'll be avoiding August! Lots of noisy children running riot and not going to bed at a decent hour (hoists bosoms). The campsite was in the woods and there were gangs of primary school aged children roaming about re-enacting Lord of the Flies with big sticks . It was a lovely spot though. Glad to be back to a fridge and a proper bed. And mountains of laundry of course.

Hi folks, sorry have been awol of late, smalls (children, not pants) have been sleeping atrociously and it's all I can do to keep awake of an evening long enough to make dinner and do B's bottles. Have discovered the reason for T being up all night, then for the day at five , he's cutting his back molars at last and it's causing him a lot of pain. B on the other hand, may well be cutting teeth, or refluxing more. Who knows. At least he makes up for it by being an angel during the day.

Seem to have bought another house, but won't get too excited as it's the 4th one in 18 months we've bought. Only when I have the keys in my hot little hand will I divulge any details (not that I expect you to be on the edge of your seats, or anything).

Beans I would be annoyed at the assumptions in that convo with your sister too. As you get on well with her, do you feel able to say how you felt about it, or would you rather just let it go?

Vag I would stand my ground on the toilet seat debacle. They're obviously trying it on and they'd have to prove it was you to take any kind of action. Glad you had a nice time though, it sounded wonderful.

Lady I hope you're having a nice dinner after all and that there is cheerfulness involved. Do you feel at home in the house now? When does DD1 start preschool?
Re-the volunteering, that sounds great. I used to work for a national volunteering charity and know a fair bit about it so if there's anything in general you want to know about what's out there and how to access it, just send let me know.

Am finding T's jealousness of B increasingly difficult. He is on edge the whole time, and snatches things off B, and cries if he can't have me to himself the whole time. I know he has to get used to it, but he seems so destroyed by it, it's heartbreaking and sometimes makes me wonder if I should have had a DC2 and he was just meant to be an only .

SL, happy belated birthday to DD, how did the party go?