dec 2008- Who will stonk it in & be crown queen of the thread?

[HRHvagolaJahooli]

He we are ladies though I may need to change my name as royal title may be stripped.

www.allotment.org.uk/recipe/172/spiced-apple-butter-recipe/

Ooh ooh, I knew I had something to tell you all. Don't get too excited as it's not that thrilling, but last night I had a corking sexy dream about.... DH - oh who knew marital sex could be that thrilling??? I woke up this morning feeling really fruity, but he was in a rush for work. THEN to my horror, my bloody (no pun intended) period arrived. I know periods don't necessary exclude sex, but I really can't be bothered with the faff and the mess. I rarely feel fruity, so am very very disheartened by this.

I think it was prompted by me looking at DH without his clothes on the other day and suddenly realising how very fit and sexy he actually is. He's so toned and tanned with lovely blond hair and blue eyes and lovely dark eyebrows. And perfect man legs. Ho hum. Then I look at myself in the mirror and marvel at why he would still find me remotely attractive. In my hey-day, I was a hot bit of totty, but I now sag and am lumpy and stretch-marky. And hell I'm grumpy. I know he's the faithful type and that he loves me, but sometimes I think I really wouldn't blame him if he fancied someone else a lot more. Makes me feel a bit sad for him. Although I do give a corking blowie when I can be bothered!!! Perhaps that's what it is! Definitely not my sparkling conversation of an evening. We do, though, still get the most hysterical giggles together often enough to forget all the shit stuff, so I guess that's what it is.

Wow, that saucy bit of info turned into a bit of a self-absorbed whinge. That's a surprise coming from me! HA!

oh Beans I'm sorry but I did have a giggle at that post. Thanks for cheering me up.

GOOD!

I want to reply to all this but it will be tomorrow now as we are just about to have supper. I've got to tell you, Beans, I spat out my Diet Vimto at that latest revelation From Apple Butter to, er, Love Butter in just a few posts.

(Mind you, Love Butter is what DP calls Suntan Lotion, not, er, the other stuff).

Fuckity fuck, just lost a post by accidentally clicking "Refresh" the display. buggery bollocks.

Anyway I was saying bollocks to mr sybs mine does the same re house/furniture decisions, apparently has no opinion until I spend effing ages deciding something and then he says he doesn't like it. I hate that feeling of going round in circles

beans you are gorgeous and very very funny, you make me laugh! I am sure the bjs help too. My dh has not had a BJ for AAAAGES. HAHA. lady LOVE BUTTER? Yuk!

kayz sorry you are pissed off with the driving. Please stick with it you will get there. It took me 4 goes to pass my test, but I am a confident driver now (note I will not actually say good as I have my moments of shitness!)

trace interested to hear about the copper coil. Have dilemma too, need to sort out contraception as it is putting us both off using condoms and being worried about accidental pregnancy. god I REALLY don't want another DC, 2 is enough! choices are coil or implant I think. I dont' really like hormonal contraception though as it tends to make me non-horny (good contraception in itself though I guess). Glad you had a nice hol by the way and nice to see you back!

Am also a bit fat, have put on weight on hols and not lost yet. Though only want to lose 2-3kg so should be poss but can't be assed. lady have you been back to endocrinologist? It sounds like you are eating nothing to speak of! Also dare I suggest some difficult exercise (by this I mean running or hard cycling or something like the shred (which I still don't know what it is like but I assume knackering), or anything that makes you feel like you are going to die of exercise), always seems to kick start it for me (though I HAVE to properly diet at the same time, it doesn't work on its own)

Oh DS still beiong a pain in the bottom at night and a nightmare with his sister. Last night he was awake from 12-230 making a fuss (not duvet related this time so I think this is a red herring). DD up at 6, me not asleep til 3, so 3 hrs sleep nice. I did get a nice kip in for half an hour this afternoon, does anyone else find a power nap just is amazing when they have had little sleep?

Oh yes on this front, I also have a question does anyone use earplugs with any effect - the idea last night was that I wore earplugs through the night and DH got up with DS and then I got up with them in the morning. However, I couldn't sleep with the sodding things in (they did work though!) as I was worried they were falling out. Can anyone recommend some that might be better than the ones I have? I may perservere as I am ALWAYS woken up by the kids even if it's DH's turn to get up with them, and I can't listen to them cry and go to sleep even if it's his watch.

I too am a slattern and I have a cleaner . Worth every bloody penny. I would never manage to clean properly otherwise. It takes me long enough to tidy, cook, do washing, wipe up surfaces, load unload dishwasher etc. I guess I am just lazy as it seems bad enough with cleaner! also DH does quite a lot too, god knows how we will manage when I am back at work (thgou I guess we will not mess the house so much not being in it).. And trace no need for the around us, obviously if you admit to the wider mumsnet that you change your bedclothes every too weeks you are a scumbucket, but in the real world, you have the official scummy Summer's seal of cleanliness approval, that is FINE in my opinion. (There is someone on mumsnet I have seen who says she changes her sheets every DAY. If nothing else that is MASSIVELY environmentally unfriendly, and just weird)

jj it's shit shit shit, what IS this organiser guy thinking?

Right attempt two at post....

Oh yes db you are so NOT being unreasonable. That would piss me RIGHT off, do you mean they had a go about your DH not coming to their DT's party or that he decided himself he should go? In any case, shit. I HATE it when people don't make as much of an effort as I do, particularly as I am not a massive effort making person anyway, so when really good friends are flaky it really annoys me. DH and I call our best friends "The Flailers" as they are a bit "Oh no I couldn't POSSIBLY come to the pub at 6pm it will interfere with dear Araminta's (name changed) Gina Ford routine as she will not be in bed until 7:05pm". But we love them and know to expect it - but they would never DREAM of bailing out of a birthday party or similar. Don't ask the wider mumsnet though, I am sure you are being unreasonable in their book. Perhaps the mother has something going on you dont' know about. Maybe she is a victim of a rare but dehabilitating disease that means you can't attend children's birthday parties without coming out in a rash, and is too embarrassed to tell you. You really should be more sympathetic, just in case.

Oh and I meant not changing bedclothes every TWO weeks obviously, duh. TWO weeks is good in this house, its usually three. BUT i am a scumbucket.

Ahem. I have to come clean here. Or not as the case may be... I don't have a regular sheet changing time period. Probably roughly every 3 weeks, but the other day I couldn't remember when I last had. And I am a sweaty nighttime person. How wrong??! Am ashamed of self!!

Oh and one last thing before sleep. I was trying on outfits for a wedding on Saturday and noticed I have a very small head. I have noticed this before, but tonight I giggled out loud. On my own. In front of mirror. Perhaps I should see someone about that. My mum calls someone with a small head a Pimpo, which I thought if and laughed more. Clearly have gone a bit mental. BUT found an outfit. Yippee!

Hi there

WG - Sorry for the sleep nightmare. All I'd add is don't worry too much about the room sharing on holiday. My 2 have always shared, and I am kind of flummoxed with how you all manage DCs in different rooms - at least when they're together I can be with both at once. Mysteriously, they can more or less sleep through each other's antics. Although they now have a tendency to muck about together. Not ideal. But when DS was small, he would just fall asleep in his cot while I tackled DD.

JB - We went to Pembrokeshire a few hols ago. Favourite beach is Barrafundle, which is a bit of a treck with littlies, but gorgeous. Folly Farm is a bit of gentle entertainment when you've had enough beach.

Beans - that post is priceless!

On cleaning, its just as well no one much relies on me around here. DH thinks I'm incompetent anyway, I can see him itching to jump in any time I do anything. Although our lovely cleaner is about to go on mat leave and we will miss her sorely. DH is a dab hand at laundry. Every once in a while the sheer weight of stuff will bother me and I will have a blitz to clear up and tidy when I can't bear it anymore.

Kayz - much sympathy on the driving. I can totally understand how you feel - I was terrified of it. But I am sure the girls are right, its all about confidence and probably not overthinking it. I feel so ridiculous not really being able to drive when any teenager can manage it.

syb - I share your pain. I loathe choosing domestic stuff when DH is liable to pop up and veto. I tend to be quite impulsive about these things and just choose and move on, while DH obviously wanders around with a definite idea of what he wants in his head and won't stop till he finds it (even if it doesn't exist). Drives me potty.

LaLaLa to all your fat talk. I am perfectly enormous and failing utterly to stir myself to doing anything about it.

Thanks for all the good wishes about DS. He seems to be doing fine, but is obviously frustrated at not having use of his hand at the moment (swathed in giant boxing glove bandage to protect the finger). From what the doctors said v v unlikely that the sewn on tip will take - but we'll find out more on Friday when they unwrap it all to take a look. SL - not sure exactly what happened as we only have toddler accounts (no adult watching!) - but it seems he somehow got his finger behind the chain guard and either DD pedalled, or he turned the pedals himself. Nanny very contrite - she was almost in tears on Monday when we (quite gently) told her off and she showed up with a dvd for DS to cheer him up.

beans you sound like you are losing it there a bit with your giggles at your small head! i think my head is quite large.

invis I would probably forgive your nanny but I am soft. I hope his finger does take, blimey your DS sounds very brave though!

do you all wash whites and darks separately? i don't as I don't have many white clothes, but have noticed "duh" kids white stuff is going grey colour so guess I should. Oh god, sorry for that question, am dull. But do these colour catcher things work. I can't be arsed to do separate washes.

Beans you are too funny ? that was not what I was expecting to read when I logged on tonight! And then your small head has just set me off again! I also giggled at Jolly asking her Mum about fisting, although my Mum wouldn?t have a clue and would probably think it might be something to do with boxing. Last week my sis was being gross, as only younger sisters can, and my Mum meant to say ?you?re such a minger? in a cool and down with it sort of way, but actually said ?you?re such a minge?, and then needed it explaining. You?re never too old to learn something new Mum!

Welcome back Trace, lovely to hear from you, your holiday sounds idyllic. at you vaccing the sofa every couple of months, I bet I haven?t done ours since pre DD days , might have to do something about that ... Congratulations on 12 years

Jump that is taking the p* with the childcare. I assume if the organiser has children he also has an other half? Did he not think to consult her at the very least? I hope you have made your displeasure very clear

And Deids, your friends are also taking the p*. She below, for how godparents should behave. Could you get back to them with a ?it?s a shame you can?t come, as I was hoping as godparents you could serve food/organise pass the parcel/protect my house from 24 hyper children, as I?d love to do for our godchildren'

Sorry house hunting is getting you down Beans. Come and live up north ? for a mere £900k you can get this 12 bedroom house, with 7 acres, in our local town. Bet you can?t get anywhere near that for your money done south (although your DH may have something to say about the commute ...)

Kayz I second Beans on driving becoming second nature. Can you practise in someone?s car on some quiet roads, just to get your confidence up?

Jolly Please can I come to Pembrokeshire with you? I?m missing it already. Where are you staying? We stayed in St Davids. We mainly had fun on the beach, whatever the weather, as DD is a proper water/rockpool/sand baby ? and the beaches there are so beautiful. We were lucky enough to get 4 hot beach days, warm enough for cossies and a dip in the sea, so it was easy to keep us all happy. Hopefully you?ll get good weather in September, so you can do the same. We had one day out, to Folly Farm, which is near Tenby ? quite a trek from N Pembs, if you?re staying there, but worth it. The best laid out and cleanest and most well equipped family attraction I think I?ve ever been to. Ah, see Invis has beaten me to that recommendation. One day we climbed a (small) mountain and had flapjack on the top ? although DD needed help most of the way up (even her little legs only took about 40 minutes) she is still thrilled to bits that she climbed a mountain and tells everyone. Me and my sis went on a wildlife watching boat trip, which I loved, and there's of people offering them. When we used to go as children we loved the butterfly house in Solva and the sea life centres in St Davids, but these have since closed. There must be similar places that have opened up in their place, it?s just that we didn?t track them down this time. So of you. Hurrah for DD2?s weight, she?s doing so well. I?ve just got E?s red book out, and she was about that weight at the same age, and, of course, she?s perfect

Summer seriously? Did someone actually reckon to change their bedding every day? They need to get a life. Clean sheets are amazing, but not that amazing

Invis your DS is such a star, I hope it looks good when the bandages come off. And it does sound like your nanny cares about the DCs a lot, and has learnt her lesson

I rang the midwives this morning, as I was expecting a scan date to have come through by now (I?ll be 12 weeks later this week, I think) ? it turns out I?d be given an appointment for Thursday morning but that they hadn?t posted the confirmation letter yet. When I said I, or DH, couldn?t get time off work at that short notice, I was told ?that employers have to give you time off for AN appointments?. Which they do, but there is the courtesy of giving work some notice that you won?t be in the office. So I?ve rearranged for next Tuesday now, only a week to wait til I get proof that all is ok and it?s not a figment of my imagination! I?m most cross that if I hadn?t bothered to ring I would have missed the appointment and wasted the NHS time etc etc

My wonderful friend has taken DD tonight and tomorrow (as MIL is on hols, who usually has her on Wednesdays) - so I have the house all to myself as DH is away with work too. I went for a swim earlier, which was lovely, I really miss swimming as I used to go several times a week. And then I had homemade pesto for tea, yum yum. My friend text me earlier to say that E has done her first poo ... in her pants! My poor friend. So apologised and told her to chuck the offending clothes and get them out of her house. And, wonderwoman that she is, replied to say they were already washed and dried. I think she needs a thank you gift for dealing with that. I am blessed to have her (I knew there was a reason she is DD?s godmother ? take note, friend of Deids)

Crossed there Summer, I do separate whites and colours, but it normally takes well over a week to get enough whites for a load. Apparently those colour catchers do work, I've heard people swear by them

SL - colour catcher = slack woman's friend. Needless to say, I love mine! I only bother for things which don't matter (so I don't care if children have pink vests and socks by accident) but wouldn't risk for anything precious. Just in case.

Glad DS on the mend, Invis.

zj roaring with laughter at minge. I had to explain to my mum aged 17 what "fellatio" was. I stupidly made a joke using the word. She was v embarrassed.

E's god mother sounds fab!

Oh also I got a letter for my 12 week scan....the day after it was meant to be. Yeah, thanks for that.

Crikey ZJ - that house is incredible. And not much more than some very ordinary 4 bed victorian terraces with postage stamp size gardens in not especially glam parts of London. But you knew that...Good luck with the scan on Tues!

Beans - you are starting to sound like a mad old rellie of mine who used to go on about people with square heads. Apparently a sign of stupidity. I remember being about 10 and staring in the mirror trying to work out if I had a square head.

hello!
got 2 mins while the girlies eat their breakfast...
beans you are very very funny and your dh is blessed to have you as his wife - if you are even half as hilarious, caring, honest and fabulous as you appear over the interweb, then there is no question about why he sticks with you and your stretch marks x
zj your dd's godmother is a saint. I'm also a bit that I don't know the meaning of most of the 'my mum doesn't know what these words are' words!
summer I do a whites wash, a dark wash and a pink wash! Whites because I have to wear black and white for work and L has white school shirts, so we have quite a few whites (just typed shites by mistake!). And having two dds means we have enough for a pink/purple wash about once a week!
And on heads...I have always been known as pea head for my very tiny head. When P was tiny the HV wanted to refer her to paeds because her head was below her ht and wt on the centiles, but I just said she's a pea head like me! But - yesterday I was in the hairdressers and I noticed that my head isn't really any wider than my neck - it just kind of looks like an extension of my neck but with features on it. Very odd. If I child drew a person with a head only as wide as a neck, everyone would think it was a rubbish picture
Right, empty cereal bowls, must dash.
Think we're all going swimming today - we've never been all 4 of us together before. See you later x

Oh beans & trace your head size tales are so funny.

ZJ DD's godmother is an angel. She sounds lovely.

Woke to a very quiet and tidy house, as DC's with parents. Its lovely! However, mum text last night to say DS had poo-ed all over tent. Wee's everytime in potty but apparently got quite annoyed with my mum wagged his finger at her and shouted "potty do wee-wee, no poo" I suspect it might be a while before he masters no. 2's!

Oh and sheets, yes I am quite lazy with them too. I aim for once a fortnight but do have times when I can't remember the last time it was done. Eww.

White wash, only sometimes. MY BIL is in the navy and once prior to an overseas deployment had to wash his white uniform. This was the job of my sister who accidently got one of her DC's red socks stuck between it. It went a bit pink . It was like a film, needless to say that was years ago and to this day she has never washed his uniform since but I reckon she does a white wash

JJ: did ypu manage to sort something out? Hope it doesn't put a downer on your hol.

Catching up on p 20 first so apols if i miss anything from next lot of posts!

Bedtime routine - tends to go 5.45ish back from fetching s from nursery, she marches up to telly and shouts "charlie and lola! Lucy four!" so we watch those then have a snack at 6.20 ( she gets big tea at nursery), run bath, try to get her in before 6.45, pray dh will get home soon. Dip E, get her out, she will always start yelling so 7.10ish, start shouting at S to be helpful and stop lying down in the bath when water's gone, 7.12ish turn on cold tap and get hr out. Next part depends on if dh back or not - if he is, we divide and "conquer" with me doing e's milk, he does s stories, if not i feed e in the chair while reding stories, take her next door when she nods off, return to s. Can take up to an hour on my own from exiting bath to finally leaving them both. Head downstairs, start making tea for me and dh. Then bed shortly thereafter. Party party party!
I 'm sure this whole farrago could and should be done more efficiently!!
And flooping baby who nodded off about half an hour ago now wking up again. Sorry ladies will finish catchup later, effie thanks for email address, just waiting to hear if prebooked lady does have any exp as gettin paris girl down will add about £800 to cost of holiday once we add her accom etc. Am cross mosrly cos at the outset i suggested that we could bring someone to look after girls, he said no need, i will sort it. Sigh.

Invisible and ZJ Thanks for Pembrokeshire info. We're near Tenby so perfect.

Laughed loads at Bean's posts last night! Also at Twat pub, minge and fellatio!

Am reassured by all the housework chatter. I like to know that others sleep on sheets for 2 weeks too! I'd love a cleaner. I had a massive clean last night as had 3 mums round from our toddler group this morning. I like an incentive to clean, it spurs me on.

I bung all colours of washes in together. I have recently started using colour catcher, but my bras are still grey. Never mind.

Bunged DD2 in nursery this afternoon so I could go to physio. I paid them in fruit. Yes, seriously!!! Brilliant. And then I came back and hoovered and ate 2 packets of crisps. Then collected them both. How is that I'm so tired now after an afternoon off??? I'm doing the same next week, but with no physio, just the afternoon off. And not telling DH. HA!

Right, off to avert a fight as DD1 attempts wee in potty while DD2 molests her then plays with wee. Joy.

beans is the physio for your ankle? how is it? I've just done 5K and one of my calves is really sore, it feels really tight and when I run it hurts like hell...no amount of stretching seems to help.

Mum phoned from their little camping trip and DS has been dry all day,even at the petting farm. Hooray! I'm missing the little buggers now though. The house is too clean and too quiet. can't wait to finish work tomorrow and pick them up. I am a wuss.

It's ok. Apparently it's where I pronate when I run, my ankle isn't being supported, so it's getting really sore. I have some supporting insoles for my trainers and if they don't work, then I will need to have an injection into my foot, but he didn't think that owuld be necessary. Here's to hoping!

Just had a hideous bedtime with DD1. That'll teach me to think what a good girl she is. Just wouldn't stop screaming. She was so so tired. In the end, I just shut the door and left her to it. I'd been in and in and been kind and cross and nothing seemed to work. She went quiet after about 10 mins of screaming blue murder. I haven't been in to check on her yet, but reckon she'll be asleep now. Will go at 8. Luckily she can't open her bedroom door or she'd have been out like a shot. Gosh, it's quite stressful innit??