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The CRESH spa and creche: we ALL deserve crap ham

1000 replies

FannyPriceless · 26/05/2011 12:18

Enter all ye ESHes. We've been Barren, we've been Pregnant - now at last we are Child-Rearing.

  • Come share your questionable tips on raising a real live baybee!
  • Compete with Cunty to take control of the bad mummy crown!
  • Eat crap ham - after all, you deserve it!
OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AlpinePony · 08/06/2011 07:28

okie I'm so glad to hear you've turned a corner with your coccyx. Long may this continue! Medicinal gin for you lady! :)

fanny Bear had conjunctivitis about a month ago, bloody grim - people stare in the street (of course). I did the only sensible thing, dragged him up the stables and plonked him a horse. Grin You can see he's grinning in the photos but thankfully his eyes don't quite look like pissholes in the snow. Took 7 days start to finish. We took boxy's advice on administering eye drops. For the first couple of days, carefully apply them to the eye making sure all is covered. By the end of the week just spray in the vague direction of the furious baybee and hope for the best.

silv What happened wrt the "we need to talk" message? Why move him? so you can get more help?

CluckyKate · 08/06/2011 07:46

Upheaval of the hoss is a PITA Silv - hope it doesn't come to that for you.

Today I have my Equilates induction in an attempt to get my muscles Hmm working correctly while they still have no memory.

SilverSky · 08/06/2011 07:56

ok huzzah for improved wotsit. Good news.

ponio/clucks Sharer is no mOre. Potentially long term sick and expected me to wait three mOnths for her. No can do love! Said she kept putting off calling me as hoped she would be better the next week and voila here we are 8 wks later! Moving is to do with mgmt at current place. If get time will discuss you know where!

AlpinePony · 08/06/2011 08:12

Oh what a pita. :( As clucky says, moving is horrible and nowhere (imo) is perfect. My place is far from perfect (no indoor school, no x-country), and too far away, but I like the owner and I like the attitude there. The place I was at previously was polished to within an inch of its life and it was a display case for pikeur and chanel - and I was the only one who hacked! Shock Other options closer to home involve multiple children/lack of grazing/crap hacking/too busy etc., etc. :( I agree though, she's asking you to wait far too long and has already fucked you about too much!

CluckyKate · 08/06/2011 08:32

Very true Alps. Where I'm at is a bit rough around the edges (waterlogged sand school, sloping all-weather, nowhere to store tack, ramshackle barns and testy yard owner) but is close to home, has stupendous hacking and good grazing....plus I am now excellent at brown-nosing not offending the owner

Nearly 16 weeks later the birth story has been writ....just need to copy & paste.

CurlyCasper · 08/06/2011 08:34

We've got a birthday in the CRESH today - happy first birthday to ClydePriceless! Hope he's feeling better today fanny.

Wine Wine Grin Wine Wine

SilverSky · 08/06/2011 08:35

Her illness is quite serious I think and the sad thing is that I really liked her. Need to sort out what to do with hoss pdq. As don't have the luxury of being able to swan over there a million times a day to sort things out which have occurred due to a failure on their part and it's me and my nag who have to compromise.

cluck do you keep your gal at home a la boxerbeat?

AlpinePony · 08/06/2011 08:36

Happy Birthday to Clyyyyyyde, Happy Birthday to Clyyyyyde, Happy Birthday Dear Clyyyy-yyyyde, your mummy is pissed.

CluckyKate · 08/06/2011 08:38

Et viola!

My due date came and went much like any other day, as did every day for the following two weeks. With LC having been induced at 41+5 it shouldn?t have been surprising to be ?late? again, however, family history of second births had me convinced this one would come close to his due date. Keen to avoid the typical cascade of interventions that accompanied my induction I employed every trick and old wive?s tale to get this baby moving, including the reflexologist visiting to pummel my pressure points, dousing myself in clarey sage and gorging on hot curries and fresh pineapple. Supported by my midwife I was able to avoid any discussion of induction but had an appointment on 42+2 to decide on next steps.

On the morning of 42+1 I awoke feeling different ? calm yet energised. Hippo-lady came round for a hypno-session and left an hour and a half later with strict instructions for me to rest ? not something that comes naturally to me. Fortunately she left me so relaxed that two hours passed before I felt able to prise myself from the sofa!

As the day advanced some faint tightenings started, however, these sensations had occurred in previous days so I thought nothing of it and simply used them to practise my breathing. By bedtime there was some regularity to them, coming roughly every 20 minutes. Too preoccupied with timing them I was unable to sleep and by 1.30am they were coming every 6-8 minutes so I decided to wake MrCluck.

We went downstairs and, while I retreated to the sofa, MrCluck called for a midwife. We were somewhat surprised, and a little bit alarmed, to hear that the community midwives had been called into to hospital. Furthermore, both the nearby hospitals were closed to new admissions and we were being directed to a birthing unit over an hours drive away.When he mentioned the name of our MW they called back 10 minutes later to say that, despite being off-duty, she was on her way.

MW arrived at 3am and examined me ? to my relief I was already 5cm dilated and progressing well. MrCluck was spurred into action to set-up the pool while the MW left to collect her birthing equipment. Meanwhile, I continued to rest on the sofa with the dog at my feet and leaning on the birthing ball during the surges.

MW returned 30 minutes later and by 4.15am the pool was almost ready. With the surges becoming increasingly powerful ? not painful, thanks to the HypnoBirthing techniques, but an incredibly strong and intense pressure - I was itching to get in the water. Unable to wait any longer I clambered in and was enveloped by the most heavenly, warm water. With the lights turned low and soft music playing in the background there was an aura of calm and relaxation as the surges grew stronger.

Just over an hour later I experienced a very clear change in the intensity of the surges and I could feel my baby moving down the birth canal. I became panicky as fears from the birth of my first child crept in ? having had an epidural on that occasion this was a sensation I hadn?t experienced and the prospect of birthing this baby seemed impossible. The MW offered me some gas and air but, despite my obvious anxiety, I genuinely didn?t need it.

At 5.47am BabyChick entered into the world in one huge surge and, after a period of intense emotion and exhilaration, calm was restored. For the next 30 minutes I was left to slosh around in the water, holding my amazing baby and nursing him in his first feed. An hour later MrCluck and I were snuggled up on the sofa with our new baby, tucking into the most delicious bacon sarnies and a cup of tea.

CluckyKate · 08/06/2011 08:56

Happy Birthday Clyde!!!

Am stabled about 5 mins from Boxer - didn't want livery shiz to get in the way of a brilliant friendship. Plus I like where I am - been there 9 years and hoss is very happy and settled too.

Sorry for the essay - is written to go on the hippo-lady's website.

Cosmosis · 08/06/2011 08:57

scorps He?s too new to play all he needs is food and cuddles and sleep and clean nappies. And feeding for comfort is fine, it calms and them gets your supply sorted. Babies need comfort, babies need mummy cuddles. But by all means, read him a book if you like, he?ll like the sound of your voice, and a friend of mine found it was a good way to get her ds napping.

fans I cannot believe your gorgeous clyde is 1!!!!! Happy happy birthday Beshbaybee!!!! Give him a big cuddle from me.

CUNextTuesday · 08/06/2011 09:05

Happy birthday Clyde!!! Oh my it's all coming round - is it Squeaks next?

Muser · 08/06/2011 09:07

Happy Birthday Clyde!

Fab birth story Clucky.

okiecokie · 08/06/2011 09:47

Happy birthday clyde. Are you gettung pissed up to celebrate? Wonderful story cluck. got a new phine touch screen very annoying, clearly my fingers are too fat for it!

Backinthebox · 08/06/2011 10:04

Quick post today.

Happy Birthday to Clyde!

Silv I am not so good at keeping Cluck's yard owner happy. Hence I am no longer there. OTOH if she hadn't pissed me off quite so much I wouldn't have felt brave/desperate enough to mortgage my soul and buy the most fabulous place, for which I will be paying forever! So, fab location, at home, no school at all and especially no XC course. But I school on hacks and jump whatever gets in my way out hacking Grin Yesterday Cluck and I went on a hunt for pony jumps in the woods. Where 10 year old girls go, we follow Grin.

Cluck you missed the swearing bit out!

SilverSky · 08/06/2011 12:13

Happy Birthday young Clyde!!!!!!!

AlpinePony · 08/06/2011 16:05

Kate That sounds like a tremendously uplifting experience. There had to be one though! Grin Although it sounds as though twinkle has just sneezed out a birthing pool success too.

CluckyKate · 08/06/2011 16:38

It was incredible Alps but second babies do seem to slide out more easily, sometimes even when the first came out through the sunroof as Boxer will testify.

SilverSky · 08/06/2011 20:00

cluck yours is how I imagined mine to be! Clearly mine was far from it.

In nappy rash news, butt is improved however groin, nuts and the little fella's little fella are bright red and everytime air gets on it he is ripping himself to shreds! WTF to do????

SilverSky · 08/06/2011 20:00

Go twinkle!!

SilverSky · 08/06/2011 20:01

Ps why is it that HI gets the most amazing welcome home from MB and I'm lucky if he cracks a smile at me?

Lighttaperstandback · 08/06/2011 20:43

Happy Birthday Clyde!

That's a lovely birth story there CK. Ours was pretty similar...and at home too, tho' no Hippo stuff involved...

Scorpette our sprog spent 6 or so weeks in hossie post birth so I'm no great expert on how normal early weeks go with bearns, but, I believe, eating, shitting and sleeping to be pretty much the norm. Squib wouldn't even lie under the play gym until he was about 2 months old - let alone play with it! Enjoy the sleep while it happens...we get all of 2 hours' worth of napping a day these days so getting anything done outside of Entertainment Duty becomes a challenge.

I too heart having a cleaner

Scorpette · 08/06/2011 22:15

Happy Birthday, Clyde! Hope he had a lovely day :)

What a fab birth story, Cluckers, really uplifting and inspiring. A Hippo birfing success! So chuffed for you.

Mr T has been asleep for 2 1/2 hours now - since 6.30pm yesterday, the longest he's gone without a feed has been 45 mins, so this is a miracle. If it's true that BFing helps you lose weight, I should be a size 8 by the weekend at this rate! Confused

Muser · 09/06/2011 00:28

I would like my baby to go back to sleeping 10-5am please. Or anything that's better than 3 hours at a time. That is all.

Medee · 09/06/2011 08:01

Great birth story, clucks!

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