Dec 08 Mums - Introducing our new joiners, TrudyV and Al Fresco...

[Beans33]

Hope this is ok? Thought it was subtle enough for the wider MN and not offensive!!

Hello all!
wg what a shitty night, very very hard. I hope you got some sleep in the end, and keeping talking to us! sorry can't be more help. If you fancy meeting up or a trip to cambridge one day let me know though! We have the nap dropping and grumpiness here too.

beans your DH is prize shithead sometimes isn't he? Does he never get up with the girls on the weekend or in the mornings before work? My DH is very sympathetic when I have no sleep as he hates having no sleep himself. I still get very jealous when he has full nights sleep though.

Right have no time for personals now as kids already being pita. God the pair of them are a nightmare at the moment, DS won't nap in day (though Rubes after waking 5 a couple of mornings after no nap he now wakes past 7!) and DD is crawling everywhere, DS really violent with DD, DD trashes all his toys.

In addition yesterday DD pulled herself up on coffee table and slipped chin first onto it, hitting her gum very hard on her tongue and making a massive deep cut in it. Doctor said they can't do anything and should heal on its own, she has antibiotics to stop it getting infected (it is about 0.5cm deep, horrid). She is surprisingly unbothered but I am paranoid about her doing it again, she keeps continually pulling up on things regardless though. Time to get out play pen.

In addition I made a massive fool of myself at baby swimming (class I go to that you can take both of them). I was talking to teacher and other mum and looked down to find DS had his finger thoroughly embedded in DD's eye. I honestly thought he would have damaged it but fortunately she was fine. I went mental and screamed at him so loud, I think everyone thought I was mad. But I don't know how to get through to him, he just doesn't listen to me, it's so frustrating.

God, it is knackering. So massive sympathies to everyone else struggling.

Oh and invis no chance your sis could be early pregnant? I had many strops about going away when DS wasn't sleeping and early pregnant as I wasn't coping very well! DH made us go snowboarding but I didn't really enjoy it.

Morning gorgeous girls, been a hectic blur as usual so haven't read anything since Wed eve. About to feed DD2 and read up....

SL - I do think I sometimes give DH a bit of a hard tiem on here and he's nicer in real life than I give him credit for. But yes, he can be a tool. Although he's just sent me a very nice text. And sometimes he does get up for the DDs - sometimes as much as twice in a night. But when I'm up 8 times, then I don't feel that grateful for it! I had both of them screaming at one point last night!!! I'd love the sympathy that your DH gives you. But they don't actually hear the screams, I don't think. DH certainly usually snoring when I leave and when I get back!!!

SL - you poor love. It sounds like you're having a rubbish time with the violence etc at the moment. And your poor DD. I'd be so worried too. DD2 pulling herself up and lots of tumbles, but nothing too serious as yet.

Right, we're going for a wet walk now.

xxx

blimey, what was in the air last night? t awake from 1am to 5.30am. the whole time. only went to sleep when i climbed in with him. in his cot, yup it is just about possible. now i ache and need coffee no. 3. b teething like the very devil

Right kiddoes

Had better type fast so excuse errors! Oh no, girls, so sorry to hear about these cacky cacky nights

Spot, how is B in general now (apart from teething I mean)? Just like Beans, a friend's baby has just been hospitalised with reflux but he has other issues as well - a cleft palate. He is really suffering, they all are. He can't have his corrective op until he puts on weight and isn't putting on weight cos of the reflux...

WG, are there any friends you can call on to come round for an hour to mind the girls whilst you sleep? Vag's practical advice sounded good as well. Am just full of sympathy, really. It sounds so hard.

Rubes - would love to see you Mon June 13. I think I can get a train to Henley from Reading so could meet you either place. Summer hol - most places in Europe will be fairly hot in July, so take your pick! I am a big fan of Spain but why not drive to France? Did you retrieve the bits from your purse?

Vag - how is your ankle now? Are we going to have to nag you to get it checked?

Beans - your DH does get a lot more breaks than you, you know. You need to insist on some breaks for yourself, I reckon.

Arti - Obama day sounds a-mazing. How cool! Who was the nicest of the people you met? Anyone confound expectations?

Trace - you haven't updated us with P's appt, how was it?

Sybs - what news of redundancies, my love? DId you escape?

Jam - I loved the mirror and chair but just on repainting furniture, I really recommend Annie Sloan paints, which are particular for furniture. here

SL, who WOULDN'T have shrieked like a banshee when confronted with their toddler's finger in their baby's eye? So sorry to hear about poor DD's tongue, it sounds awful. Only thing is that they heal so superfast at this age.

JJ, your part time plans are sounding good (full pay for a three day week - love it). Hope you get some rest this weekend....

Bisou, just come and wave at us now and then, no pressure with the catch ups It's just nice to 'see' you.

Invis - super green at your trip to the CHelsea Flower Show. Have always wanted to go and every year I tell myself that next year I will. Hope you have a nice break, even if sans sister....

JB - baby hair colour changes so much. DD2 started out really dark. Now her hair is fairer than DD1's! Where does the ginger in your DD2 come from?

ZJ - will reply to your v helpful email re: York asap!

Trudy, don't worry about your mundane days. Mine are much like that at the mo...

And DB - good luck with the gnashers tomorrow morn!

Am off to Suffolk with extended fam for weekend. It really is the last thing we need as we are so busy with house stuff but my Mum is going to be there and I promised her I'd go. Getting quite cross with DP about moving etc, I feel like it's him who is really stringing this out. Ho hum. Have a great Bank Hol weekend, you all xxx

Oh and Nolda, once knew someone who lived in the Cathedral CLose in Winchester. Needless to say it was £££££....

Summer, are you saying (which is what I was asking) that perhaps if I perservere with the no napping, it might take a few days to kick in and then he may just sleep longer in the morns? I was thinking I hadn't given it enough of a go with only 1 try as he's got to break the habit of getting up early first.

Beans, I must say your dh does behave quite toolish at times (from what you write) but as you imply, it's much easier to write about the stuff that pisses us off rather than the good stuff therefore easy to give the impression to others that he is more of a tit than not iyswim. But hope he gives you a break when you do your stint in the attic!

Back from toddler group and ds got hit by another child (his mum was good) and cars stolen off him and thrown at him. he was upset, but I was proud of him as he didn't retaliate, just stood there crying noooooooo.

Ooops gotta go for now

Too late to start today Summer. DS just came to me and said "I tired mubby" and is now happily in bed

I can't spell persevere can I. Got some OCD related organisation and cleaning to do now.
3 posts I'm out.

Yes we had a few days of having to have a nap as woken early like that but he has now had a few days in a row no nap and waking reasonable hour. Think he may still nap if in car but seems ok without.

Call those posts, Rubes? I had to get out my magnifying glass for the last two Come on girls, I need something to READ as I rush around like a headless chicken, achieving bugger all!

Beans I think your DH gets the guilts about going off & leaving you every five seconds so maybe the snide comments are fueled by guilt. However, he can't think much of his girls if he thinks looking after them is not an important job! I'm sure your hubby is lovely, he'd have to be a decent bloke for you to have married him, but I'd still have to slap him for saying something like that in the morning. Can I admit something that bugs me about your hubby. He is forever at you about money, but he keeps going off on these trips. Does he somehow thinks its his money to spend. Tell me to keep my mouth shut if I'm wrong, but he does take the P.

SL I'm having a bit of a time lately trying to stop DS2 shooting out onto the road. Walking down the street can get quite stressful, he will get a bit ahead of me turn & run straight between the parked cars & straight onto the frog & toad. Today he took two running steps towards the road and I screamed at him. Now to most passersby it may have been a little uncalled for, esp given how wide footpaths are here, he did have a good meter left until he hit the road. But he's so fast and I'm so sensitive to it now. Anyway, I did get a few glares, but I know what he is capable of and I rather screech at him than have him run over.

hello
Was it a full moom last night? Lots of tales of horrid nights.
P had a crap night on Wednesday, basically crying and climbing out of her cot continually from 11 till 4, then slept until she woke for the day at 5.30. I felt like I was in an episode of Tiny Tearaways or something, standing outside her room and putting her back in her cot about 7493857 times! She has a bed in her room but it's a day bed thing with draws under, so I hadn't really wanted her to sleep in it yet, because it's quite high if she falls out, but if she's going to fling herself out of the cot, I guess there's no differene. Except she can't fall out of the cot when she's asleep. Hmm. Anyway, I was so tired at work, because her sleep has been getting worse and worse for weeks, that I burst into tears and had to cancel a lesson I was supposed to be teaching as I was in such a state Last night I resolved to not give in, and to just keep returning her to her cot, however long it took, but then she woke at 10.30 with a stridor and croupy cough, so I lay with her in the bed for a while and she slept in our bed for a while, and basically probably undid everything we've been trying to do...but I couldn't be so harsh with her when her breathing was so bad. Anyway she's right as rain today (of course) so we'll see what tonight brings. I'm realising (albeit rather slowly) that my girls are very different! L potty trained easily and never tried to get out of bed once she was in it, and although she took a good year to sleep through the night, when she mastered it she didn't look back and only gets up if she's ill. Whereas P is a crap sleeper, an escape artist and has been TT since February! I thought it was supposed to be easier second time round! Yet she is much more cuddly and clingy than L was at this age. Funny little beasts!
P's ENT thing went well. The appointment was an hour late, so I was nearly tearing my hair out by the time we went in, and I could feel the judgement radiating from all the people watching, as I let P lie on the floor and be a snake in the waiting room, and other such 'bad mummy' things. Grr. It's not easy to entertain a 2 year old for an our in a boiling hot boring waiting room. Anyway, the upshot is one ear is fine and the other has glue ear, so she'll have her hearing and ear rechecked in a few months and if it's still a problem, they'll probably do grommets. But chances are it might sort itself out like the other ear has done
Ladies...I have a bit of a worry ...I have no interest in or desire to have sex with dh I thought I'd gone off it because my mood was so low, but I'm feeling so much better and still don't want to. I don't know if it's my tablets, but I'm on them for the foreseeable future, so in a way even if it is, I have to get over it. We've never exactly been like rabbits, but once every 2 or 3 weeks used to be normal, whereas now I could happily live without it. I don't want to deprive him, but I just feel so odd about it. And it's not just indifference to it, I actually don't want it. When we do (out of guilt on my part) I find I'm just thinking about wanting it to stop and I could cry . What's up with me? We're fine in other respects - both feeling the effects of P's crap sleep but I wouldn't say there was a problem in our relationship. I feel so bad about it. I have said sorry to DH for neglecting him, and he just says it's fine, but I think he's being nice! I love a cuddle with him, but just don't want anything more. has anyone else been through this?

Glad to hear about P's appt, Trace, that sounds hopeful.

I have to say I'm not very into it myself at the moment, Trace, so I do sympathise. I would say it could well be your tablets - and/or hormones. I have puzzled myself about why I feel like this and came up with several reasons I will list them in case it helps you but I think most of them are particular to me.

1. DP does not find me very attractive whilst pregnant - well, it's that coupled with it freaking him out a bit (which really annoys/angers me but I know he genuinely cannot help this) - and so I sort of got out of the habit, then DD2 was born and there was recovery, sleepless nights....
2. I really feel like there is some sort of hormonal problem. I have gone from having quite a high sex drive, to having a low one, and though I can think of all these reasons, this strange, almost physical feeling of 'not that into it' is the main one.
3. Not much time alone. The layout of our current abode means that the girls sleep on the mezzanine above - bit of a passion killer. Also, DP and I have started going to bed at different times. I go to bed earlier than him and try to read.
4. I am more than a couple of stone heavier than when we met and he is the same or probably more like three. Shallow, but it definitely doesn't help.
5. Haven't sorted out proper contraception and after the way DD2 was conceived (and DD1 for that matter), I worry about the effectiveness of condoms.

I think I can see my way to solving some of these, but generally I would say to you, Trace, maybe you need to try thinking about some sexy things on your own (slowly, over a period of time). Start by thinking about what/who/how would put you in the mood. Think of it as your own little project, just for you, nothing to do with DH. Give yourself proper time, don't put pressure on yourself (which is no good in this arena), make sure DH knows it's nothing he's done and tell him you need some time for a bit of a rethink.

I hope DP doesn't stalk me on here. DP, if you do, this is what you get get for snooping....

Lets not talk about stalking OH's

Beans, I do think your DH is totally unfair on you. But like you say it easier to moan about his negatives rather than the positives. Although Ialsothink vag has a point about him feeling guilty about going off a lot.

Trace/ladyt, I have to admit I don't have the highest of sex drives either. When we do 'do it' I do enjoy it. But it is nearly always DH who initiates it, although he does have a much higher drive than me. I dothink having children is the cause of it. By the time they are in bed I am usually too tired or just want to completely switch off with a glass of wine/TV/book...I'm usually too tired to get my kit off

WG, things sounds tough at the mo. Any chance dad & LF can give you some respite?

We are off camping to Anglesey on Monday for the week, I seriously hopethis weather improves. Its miserable

Why doesn't my bleeding space bar work properly??

Vag, I think you're absolutely right about him feeling guilty (astute one!) and he sent me a text this afternoon saying thank you for "letting" him go (his inverted commas, not mine!). So yes, definitely an element of guilt. But he does love us terribly and he doesn't often say it or demonstrate it to me (although lavishes it on the girls), it comes through in other ways. He gets very upset when I don't go to parties with him and things because he hates me not being there. And when we do go together and fork out for a babysitter, then he gets very cross/upset if I don't chat to him all evening and chat to other people - which of course I always do as I see him most evenings and don't get to chat to that many other people of an evening!

On the money front, that does piss me off. HE thinks I spend tons of money on fripperies, when actually, I'm pretty frugal. I gave him a bollocking the other day when he said something about it. I don't think he realises that the cost of living has risen substantially, and I rigorously do menu-plans and things, so that I try not to buy more than we can eat. But sometimes it does just happen. Ho hum. He's a good, kind man, though. Most of the time! His mother is just the nicest lady and his Dad is also usually lovely. But can be a total arse, which where DH gets it from! My problem is that instead of responding in a similar vein, I go silent and won't communicate, which drives DH insane. But I'm scared of what I might say to him! I might unleash the beast.

Gosh, I started this ages ago, so may have cross-posted with any number of you. But thnak you for all your nice support. I promise DH is a total star when I need him to be and he's a great Dad. I mustn't always slag him off, because I have never laughed as much with someone as I do with him. Proper belly-ache laughs.

Oooh, Deids - lovely to be going to Anglesey. I'm off to North Wales for 2 weeks in August and I cannot wait!

xx

Trace, I could take or leave sex too, I enjoy it when doing it, but very rarely get aroused enough to suggest it to DH. Usually I offer because I feel sorry for him. Was a bit cheeky the other day. The school wanted one of us to go into DS1's class and read to the kids in English. I'm not really into that sort of thing and DH didn't really want to do it either so we were both trying to get the other to do it. I said if he did it I'd have sex with him, how cheeky is that! Seriously though, I have become less physical in general with DH, sometimes I don't even want to touch or cuddle him because I'm worried it will turn him on. Poor guy, I think he gets a bit hurt by the non touch thing. We used to be very touchy feely with each other.

Lady I have made an appointment with the GP but the earliest I could get is next Wednesday. So will see what they say then. It does still hurt a bit and still very bruised but I can walk easily just gets a bit achy when I ride.

Daisy camping trip sounds fun. DS1 has next Thursday & Friday off so we might go away for a long weekend somewhere. Although hopefully nowhere with ticks.

Rubes I meant to say about your Chinese food thing, would it be possible the food had lots of MsG in it. If I eat Chinese with msg my digestion slows right down and I feel really blocked up in my tummy. Also I know you want a gite type thing but look up Huttopia & indigo camping. They are campsites but they have lovely looking huts and little cabins. They are all over France, and I think there would be one near to where you want to stay. We are spending a week driving down to Condom & will be staying at Huttopia & indigo camping sites.

Oh posted before I got to say, its takeaway night yummy. Indonesian for us, anyone else getting takeaway.

Oh yes, meant to say to Trace - if I think about the whole sex thing too much I get totally turned off. Find it better to just do spontaneous shag. In fact it only ever tends to be at the weekends while the girls have a snooze. Or just after they've gone to bed. Any later than that and I am too tired, or have eaten too much! Or both. And I, too, won't cuddle DH or kiss him much because he gets the horn without fail and I feel bad not bonking him afterwards, but if I do, I do the whole staring into space and not really "connecting" (bleugh) during it.

Vag - am tucking into a take away chicken chow mein as we speak. Had crispy duck too. Cat's away, Mouse playing!!!

no takeaway here Vag, dh is out so the girls and I had freezer pizza!
Ladyt thank you for your reply. I shall try to do what you suggest. And deids and vag too. I'm glad it's not just me.

Oh gosh yes....I hate giving DH a good snog because he WILL DEFO get horny and have to take himself off to, ahem, relieve himself. I used to get like that when we first met but now, Corrie & a cuppa is more my wave length

i was such a shag monster in my early days and before A and I had the kids, but now, too tired, go to bed too early, too many people in the bed (and not in a good way ) that I just can't be bothered. Worst thing is that he can't be bothered much either so it's a mutual wilderness. A straw poll of RL girlfriends reveals much the same. Very few of us are at it much, it seems.

THanks to everyone who thought about me yesterday. I am not redundant yet, and have til 20th June to decide about vol redundancy, which is quite generous but not what I really want. I also have a final salary pension which is quite an asset to hang on to. Based on the criteria, I shoud not be in the line for compulsory redundancy, but you just never know. Ho hum.

Off to norfolk (should that be no-fuck?!) tomorrow so will read and may post whilst on phone but my track record on that is not great. Huge love to you all.

Take away just been ordered here Vag - Curry. It's stage 1 of the Take Away elimination Diet that DH recommended On the MSG, no my mum asked that as well, but both places I have ordered from are adament they don't use any. Advertise the fact, and also confirmed on the phone It is a mystery. I will let you know how I am tomorrow, and I have ordered a very very mild dish so we shall see. I know what you mean about the freaking out running out on the road thing. We .live on a fairly busy road and the first thing I want to get done is an electric gate on the front as although ds doesn't do that yet, he sometimes gets distracted when I get him out of the car and I worry that he forgets and one time he just wantered out onto the road when we were in Wimbledon and DH though I was watching him and vice versa.
I will definitely take a look at those camp sites. WE keep changing idea's though and now dh has mentioned taking a week off (lady) and venturing up to finish what he started Our only problem is the travel each way so we are giving it some thought. he suggested he'd take an air mattress asnd crash at the cottage I reminded him we have two kids
bean I have to agree with Vag on the subject of your dh and money. Wasn't it all your house that you sold anyway? he does go away an AWFUL lot. I tell you if my dh went away that much and then even uttered I was whinging I'd completely unleash. You are a tolerant, tolerant DW. My DH works loads, and I am constantly asking when he is getting out for the day, but I do feel bad as there has been a couple of times I've heard that he has declined drinks with colleagues and when I asked him about it he says he feels bad because he's never home much as it is, and wants to see the kids and I. He rarely goes out, but that's mainly due to the lack of time, and also the lack of sleep he constantly is subjected to!

I'm a bit excited as our freezer arrived and it's massive Big shopping trip planned for tomorrow. it could get well out of hand. DH has the whole weekend off and only a tiny bit of work to do at home so very excited. I've also been organising a lot of rubbish and crap that is in the garage so quite satisfying.

Lady - meant to say, yes I got all the items back from my purse - think I mentioned it in a post back a bit.

Sybs how did the work situ go?