July 2010: Drool it, maul it, crawl over it - that's how our threadbabes would eat a creme egg. But why the Creme Egg?!

[CakeandRoses]

Will that do us?

/panic

needle I think it's great that you have the strength of your convictions to know how you want to live and to crack on with it. I'm a mum, I love it and it's what I want to be right now. I'm a wife and I love that too. I don't want to have a salaried job and it pisses me right off that really I'm expected to work to pay someone to look after my children when I love looking after them. It pisses me off too that after I put my energies into raising however many children we have, it'll mean nothing to any future employer and I will struggle to get a job.

I also hate that one of the first questions a mw asks you after 'what contraception are you using?' is 'when are you going back to work?'

Chulita I agree with you on all counts. When I had that conversation with my MW I had to explain that I hadn't worked to start with and she said "ooh, alright for some!" in a really patronising way.

Yea, I had a similar response with an added for good measure when I said that we weren't using contraception...

also needle i forgot to say, i loved my last couple of jobs, a very favourable ratio of drudge to fun - i was very happy and fulfilled. i also love being at home with children but the drudge factor is way higher.

wrt to our finances, it sounds like what you and your dh do make sense. in our marriage, i'm the more experienced/better at managing budgets etc and so it makes sense for me to do it. surely the person best suited to manage the finances should the person best suited rather than person with the Y chromosome?

chulita the way dh and i met was almost identical to mlic actually. the only difference really was that we were friends for longer beforehand but had deffo started thinking about each other 'in that way' before i'd ended things with my ex, and also that we were both managers in the same team when we met so we knew each other/how we worked very well.

amazing re the bullet chul. you should really write a book about it all!

totally agree with you too chul. tis shit isn;t it?

tsc how many times are you bf a day now sounds like he's feeding too much so he's not really hungry/thirsty and feels like he can faff around knowing he can feed again when he fancies it, iyswim?

why do you feed him when you feed him? (does that question make sense?)

Cake- One of my best friends manages hers and her husbands' finances, becuase he's absolutely useless with money. She's Jewish, and very proud of being (in her words) Kick ass jewish matriarch, however she's still adamant that when they have children, that's it, she's staying at home to be a mother and run her household, and will probably still manage the finances. I certainly don't believe that all wives should stand with outstretched hand once a month waiting for their pocket money- the finances should always be organised by the person most adept at organising them.

tsc if I were you, I'd wait til he was a bit closer to 11 months and then I'd stop in chunks. By now he should be able to drink out of an open cup a beaker so I'd limit when he gets bf to morning, pre-nap (if he has one) and before bed, probably doing one overnight feed to start with. I'd grit my teeth for a lot of crying but I just wouldn't let him have any. Then drop feeds one by one, might take a couple of weeks but he sounds like a stubborn boob-lover. If S mucks about by rolling around he gets dumped in his cot to shout. I hate hearing him bellowing/crying but they're my tits and I don't appreciate them being mauled. If youre soft you don't like crying though I can't see a way to do it gently.

Wrt finances I suppose we're both pretty careful so it works well the way we do it.
cake that's really good that you knew you could work together in a team, kind of paves the way for parenthood!

i think we can still be friends then needle

how did you meet dp tsc?

interesting stuff! I am beginning to look forward to going back to work because I think I'll be a better mother for a bit of a break from it. Plus we can't afford for me to stay at home. Plus I want to use my hard-won experience and qualifications. Leaving J at nursery that first day will be very hard, though.

I met DH in our first week at university, got together halfway through the first term and the rest is history! That was over 11 years ago now, nearer 12 actually.

MUST go to bed now, have to be up at 3am to go on holiday! yay!

ooooh, have a great time woodlands!

I'm trying to fight with bupcakes on another thread but she's waaaay above my level of fighting prowess, I might call it a night and tuck myself up in bed.

woodlands 12 years! wow, that's a long time :) Have a lovely holiday!

anyone with cunting in their name, scares me chul

tsc what chul said really. he probably doesn't need all those feeds, he's doing it more out of habit, like if he had free access to a dummy.

L is still awake, dh is struggling to stay awake and has to go to work at 4!!!
chulita thats an amazing story, a proper love story!!!
tsc i did smile at calf like feeding!!!

I met dh after his friend used to walk past our shop daily to collect his lunch and after him walking by for 18 months he said oh if your still single after xmas you should hoot up with my friend you would get on great, both thrill seaker, love bikes etc, I said give me his name and I will fb stalk him secretly!! I spent my 2 week xmas break partying and forgot!! so he chased me up, he set us up, we msn'd for a few weeks swapped numbers talked for a while, I had an operation on my mouth so was swollen for weeks and didnt want to meet, went on a date, had great time, next day I went to a workshop to sort my car and his van was there strangely, then 2 days after I had to take a diversion and he was there on his bike, both 2 places I would never go to! this happened a lot over the next few weeks, seemed a bit strange that we hadnt bumped into each other before, both were single for a few years before and here we are now!

he is going on a stag weekend in August I was going to spend weekend partying with friends but now mum and I are taking L to center parcs for the weekend, we are going to share childcare and use spa facilities as it works out cheaper to do that for a weekend than go to the local spa overnight!!

I've got great respect for those of you able to be full time mothers and keep the household running. It sounds like I'm in the minority for not being able to handle it! Hopefully M won't suffer too much, she really does seem to enjoy nursery and it does seem really lovely there.

If you'll indulge another me post, then my story of meeting DH is mildly entertaining. :)

We were at university together, not in the same year or course but attending the same social society (roleplay... [geek]). We ended up being the secretary and finance executive members respectively (fate?), and I started to develop an interest in (future) DH.

Hopeless at flirting, I tried to woo him in prehistoric traditional methods by making him fresh cakes each week before meetings, subtly dropping hints about places I'd like to visit with someone, etc. This went on for several months a while. DH still is was oblivious.

Eventually I confessed my attraction to the wife of his best friend. (Mind you, everyone else around us had eaten the cakes noticed my attempts already.) She told her husband, who told my (future) DH, who told his friend "Thank you for letting me know. Now don't you dare say or do anything else."

He then invited me out to dinner, turned up at my door to collect me with a bunch of flowers, we shared profiteroles for dessert and it all went from there really.

I figure if nothing else, my relationship is pretty safe. If someone else tried to woo my DH, he'd be far too oblivious to notice/respond.

spirael i sooo read this the wrong way: 'Eventually I confessed my attraction to the wife of his best friend.'

that's a bloody great story tsc. would have expected nothing less. how mad that you moderated the same board! what of your exes did you take him out on tho??

tsc I noticed the thread nearing the end but didnt want cakes starting a new one too soon and mlic finishing this thread as its a waste not too
spirael thats a great story!!! dh is oblivious to a lot too!
oh and tsc you cant leave the story like that who was the famous ex??? i think you need to venture to fb to spill!!!

this one

I swear our baby boy has a shag radar :( foiled again... I'm really off to bed this time.

Chulita, Wednesday's attempt for us was foiled when we realised that the squeaking we could here wasn't us, but G standing in her cot bouncing along with a massive grin on her face. She might be to young to be traumatised, but I'm bloody not.