Feb 2011- a bit late, but we're finally in post natal!

[debka]

Welcome everyone!!

The funny thing with the ashtray - there's more than one Is that I said to my mum "its an ashtray!", she said "don't be silly, there's no groove to put the cigarette on" there is - if you lie the "plate" on its side you can see the groove. But perhaps the most damning piece of evidence is the fact that my aunt is a wild smoker, I used to smoke, I know the word for smoke/ cigarette in about 7 languages, my aunt is in Spain 4-5 times a year - how can she not see the word fumeur and have a bloody good guess it might relate to smoking and it's written on a feckin' ashtray!!!

I am of course currently displaying it downstairs and have every intention of mounting it on Annas' wall eventually, Auntie M will never, ever live this down and she has done some pretty, pretty strange things in her youth

I've got a totally brilliant book- called Life After Birth, which talks about how incredibly huge the change is after you have children. Talks about several different topics such as Tiredness, Sex, Family, Health, etc etc, I would strongly recommend it to anyone.

Anyway, in it she says that a father's time is his own, unless a baby is shoved in his arms, whereas a woman's is always the baby's.

debka I think I might have a look for that book. I had a big teary rant at DP and feel better even though he also feels pretty rubbish too - he's started a new job this week so it's all change. But he is encouraging me to take a couple of evenings to myself a week - one for exercising and one for me/socialising. Will have to try and persuade some friends now...

And as for your clothing issue - I'm having similar worries. Off into work tomorrow (it's the social highlight of my week!) and been wondering what to wear. Have settled on a dress and thick tights. I don't want to look worky but also don't want to look slobby. PIL are looking after R so I have also sneakily agreed to have lunch with a friend while I'm there...feel a bit bad for being away for more than the hour.

Happy Apprentice evening all. I'm treating myself to a fruit crumble for dessert. Have lost 5lb in two weeks SOS I think I deserve it :)

deb interesting sounding book - is it the type that gives advice or impart knowledge or tries to be all funny (ITKWIM)? I say wear jeans and a nice smartish top that works for bfing. You can't go wrong with jeans as they can look smart and casual. Let us know how you go - am really interested in the study (ps, when I first started reading your message re: going to EAT I thought you were talking about the cafe chain called eat )

Just about to watch apprentice - hope alice keeps quiet

ledkr - more staff on for full moons - are you sure you're not pulling my leg . You're plugging where you live very well - shall we all come and move to cheltenham

ohhhhh - proud parent - alice most definately rolled over all on her own from front to back this evening - no help from my big bum on the bed pulling her over . She's now sleeping next to me and has put her new found skills to work by deciding she wants to sleep on her side tonight

ponyo I hope you will take piccies of the feb babies together when they meet to put on the thread in the first feb meet up

comment to ponyo was suppose to be to ponyo AND mizk - sorry didn't mean toleave you out

Elle don't feel bad for having lunch too! Do it, do it without guilt and enjoy it too :) And good for you having a go at the idiot dog owner, I hate it when people can't control their dogs, eejits.

deb hope the study goes well tomo, no advice on what to wear, agree with jeans and smart top? That book sounds good, think I'll look it up. There was a website that might have been recommended on here I'm going to try and link to in a min that I quite liked, though if it was someone on this thread that linked to it first I apologise!

reastie I agree lets all move near ledkr it sounds lovely! Well done little A rolling over, dd is more of a kicker than a roller at the moment Will deffo get some pics of the feb babies together, you know Nottinghams quite central for a Feb 2011 meet up

I'm feeling quite tired, can't face the Apprentice so have recorded it, they wind me up so much and I;m not in the mood tonight! Haha enjoy all xx

debka that book sounds interesting, I completely agree with Elle (sorry if others can only remember people on this particular page!), my husband is off on a 4 day stag weekend tomorrow. I on the otherhand have never left my baby for more than an hour and have not even managed to get a haircut since I had him (it actually looks okay is quite sweepy). I've not any time off from it at all, but his life is pretty much the same. Ah well.
Forgot about the apprentice will watch it tomorrow on catch up.
reastie wow well done for your alice. No such cleverness from Nate, he is pretty but dim bless him
expat and wiggles - glad it's not just me with the night times, after his longish stretch (which was less than 4 hours last night) he can only manage 3 hours max, and usually 1.5-2. Have tried co-sleeping which I think some of you mentioned and were not keen on, I was desperate it would magically make things better but he hates it the antisocial little so and so, and only sleeps once I have left my comfy bed then stretches out and nods off!

wigglesi like to think ill be like Aunty M when im old. I am already an unconventional granny,i taught gs how to sing "who let the dogs out" and how to blow a raspberry on command When he sees me he starts acting mental its so funny,dil has probably got a thread on me haha.
I think you should all move here tbh, it would solve all the probs,no lonliness,we could all help with childminding and dh bashing,just imagine.

wobbly Delilah is not doing anything either,she just lies on her back choking herself with her fist and then looking at me accusingly. She also hates being in bed with me,she actually growls

We started co-sleeping out of desperation, he would not sleep on his own at all and I cannot function without sleep. He will go up to 6 hours sleeping with me but we've moved him into his cot and he's much less settled. He seems caught in a cycle of too hungry to sleep, too tired to eat, so he eats a little then sleeps a little. The HV suggested giving him a bottle of cooled boiled water if he wakes soon after a feed, as it'll fill him but not for long so when he wakes up again, he's hungrier and will finish a feed. Will try it tonight and hopefully report good news tomorrow!

L also rolled from back to front last week. I left him on the baby gym while I was doing something else and only heard him whimpering because he was "stuck" [mum of the year emoticon]. He can roll front to back but he's not very good at it so he gets stuck on his tummy a lot.

expat back to front is very impressive! S is nowhere near doing that! Really hope your HV advice works. They do need a good feed to go any length of time at night. S woke at 5.15 for a feed this morning- put her back down and I could hear her sucking her thumb for aaaages- think she's gone off now but I couldn't (DH was snoring too) so I'm up.

Thanks for clothes advice, that was pretty much what I'd settled on. Plus comfy shoes.

ledkr what do you mean, WHEN you're old

That book is not like any other 'parenting' book I've read, it's all about the mother and how our life changes, It's got loads of quotes from normal women in it and just basically talks about what it's like. You read it and go OMG that is so TRUE I'm not the only one! If I'd read it before having my girls I'd have been 'so what'. but now, I reread it every year or so just to remind myself that I am ok and normal! here

Haven't heard from emski for a little while- are you ok girl???

mizk and ponyo my PiLs live in Loughborough so maybe I'll come and join you next time we're visiting!

Debka Hope today goes well, enjoy the big smoke xx

Thanx for messages guys. Feel really selfish whenever i post as can see that others that we are all struggling with our little monkeys at times.
I've hit a really low point today. Noah took 1.5 hours to settle last night then woke for feed at 2.30 but wouldn't sleep until 5, even when I brought him into bed with us he just wanted to look at the light. I've refused to get out of bed this morning, we all had dentist but dh has had to take Ben on his own and mil is here with Noah. Have phoned hv for emergency visit as am at the point where I'm scared I'm going to crack and hurt myself or Noah, I hate admitting that but feel I'm being pushed to my limits. Feel I can't be a good mum to Ben cos I'm too tired and don't really want to be a mum to Noah at all at the moment. I'm sure with some sleep i'll feel differently but honestly if someone said they'd take Noah away I think I'd let them.
Sorry to be a misery, going to try to sleep now. Hope you all had a better night than we did

Debka, have ordered the book. Anything to help me. Thanx for recommending it

Hi Emski sorry to hear you had such an awful night, it sounds as though things have been really difficult. To be honest I think anyone who has another child as well as a baby must be brilliant as I barely function just with one. You have been really sensible by calling the HV and your MIL, so although you might be having thoughts of hurting Noah your actions show that you would never do it. I don't have much advice I'm afraid as Nate is rubbish too - if Noah is just awake can you just leave him to himself or is he actually crying? The weekend is coming up, could your DH take him for a few nights and you sleep in a different room? Sorry my suggestions are pants, it sounds like you are a great and caring mum otherwise you wouldn't have done any of those things, really hope you manage to get some sleep this morning and I hope the HV is sympathetic.

ledkr like the growling!

expat yes I think Nate does that, by morning he is hungry and tired and only manages a bit before falling asleep again, it would be interesting to see if the water works. I actually don't mind the lack of sleep so much, am sort of used to it, it's the lack of progress, he doesn't seem any better then at about 8 weeks

I think it was grannyapple who also has a Nate - I haven't met any others in real life either. My mate pointed out that antenatal and postnatal have a special meaning for us - life pre and post Nate

benandnoahsmum really feel for you - must be so tough. It's bad enough a bad night every now and again, but the build up of night after night is truly the worst thing. I hope you're now sleeping. I don't have any ideas as I'm a rubbish first timer but I do remember a couple of months ago writing on this thread that I felt so tired that when alice was crying I was so miserable/tired/stressed that i felt such a strong urge to just throw her across the room it terrified me. I never admited it to anyone in RL and of course would never have actually done it, but just the emotions that I felt at that time were scary and really freaked me out . Was it wiggles mantra of repeating to self 'it's only a pahse' or was that someone else on here that said that? . I know that that won't help you much at this point in time though as you're all caught up on the grudge of tiredness. Makw sure you're eating and drinking enough.

Kitchen slowly taking shape but big prob with something or other so don't know if we;ll have a kitchen sink until next week . Also, when looking at what's been done, it does look better but the term polishing a turd comes to mind

americanexpat think mum of the year would defo go to me for dumping leaving alice on her play mat for so long while I mn clean she's fallen asleep on it on 4 seperate ocassions in the past couple of weeks - I thought she'd gone quiet

wonder if deb has been put in early weaning grp

aRRRRRGH 2 lost posts this am.
Emski had an almost identical night to yours, i am thinking she's been hit with the 4 month sleep regression. Like you it makes me really p'd off,i know ive had an easy few weeks but i am soooo irrational in the night,i think she's doing it on purpose to annoy me which i know is stupid!! Its the wide awake thing that im confused by,especially as she doesnt sleep in the day.
My smug trying to concieve hv sister further annoyed me by telling me that id just have to put up with it as apparently I HAVE HAD IT EASY well girls i must have missed somehting cos it sure didnt feel east when she had pnuemonia at 6 days and was on drips and being tube fed! EASY! ffs. I felt like telling her to piss off but then settled for cursing her silently with a non sleeping baby for a year!!! Dont know what to suggest em but im certainly going to allow dh to help rather than last time when i was amartyr.

expat roling over is fab and really early too. he's our first feb gifted child

Off to shred now then going to sit in the park with D cos if i stay in another day ill die of bordom

oh yes and while we aqre confessing,i get my anger out with words "greedy twat" i muttered as i made the 2nd bottle,good job she cant understand,i dont feel guilty cos it stops me feeling angry. I was also sat with her on my lap at 5 am planning to run away with Ella to spain and not come back,leaving dh with Delilah. Very rational id say.

Emski - you poor thing! It must be especially difficult with an older child, as you can't just drop everything and nap when Noah is napping (does he nap?). Does he have a swing he'll sleep in or anything like that? I've started dumping L in his swing while I have a nap on the sofa, he always falls asleep himself at some point. And well done for phoning your MIL so you can have some rest.

reastie - if L could put himself to sleep, I'm sure he would've had plenty of naps on the baby gym! I'm guilty of dumping him there a lot too.

The HV said she knows someone who pureed a sausage roll and used it as a weaning food. Please tell me this is some sort of urban legend and not actually true! The thought of a pureed sausage roll makes me a little queasy.

Last night was a bit better and we didn't use the water. He had a good feed before bed, a couple short ones at 12 and 2 then another good one at 4 and slept until 8. He doesn't seem very interested in eating during the day which is not helping him sleep at night. Maybe I'll try the water today if he's in graze mode.

wondering if ledkr survived the shred

wobbly forgot to say I did re: your pre/post nate remark

got a chimny sweep over - half expecting a small victorian boy to turn up . We'll see how much comes out as it hasn't been done since before I was born . Kitchen a state and no kitchen sink here until tomorrow now - only got microwave to cook things so wondering what to do for DH for his bday using just a microwave - think I might have to pop to tesco (and also hunt for the elusive apitmel cartons while I'm there ) . Gosh - I can't think why you're interested in all that - must try not to waffle so much.

Emski Thinking of you sweetheart, know how hard lack of sleep is and how hard it is when the exhaustion/feelings of uselessness hit. It does feel that it will never end and it is so debilitating. I can't remember the age gap between Ben and Noah. Please let us know if we can do anything, even if its just listen. Sending all our love and support and virtual hugs xx

Ledkr Well now I think you have had it easy, I mean you only spent the last few months of the pregnancy worried about D's size, in pain, unable to sleep, having to deal with Ella and dh, then when you had Dilly you had a lovely homecoming, oh that's right she was back in hospital on a drip, you had an infected scar, were bleeding, schleping up and down to hospital and lets not even mention the delightful pils!! And now you have to medicate Dilly, worry about her and get ready for her operation. You have also had to give up your hard earned independence, care for Ella, cancel holiday plans and live with a husband who works shifts and you're doing the Shred!! Piece of piss

Jane How you doing? Still bandaging the mindees

Ello

2 sleeping boys and one at preschool so thought I would say a quick high. How are you doing emski I was really sorry to read your post. You have my utmost sympathy, it's such a tough time. I was gutted to read online today you can't really take anti-d's when bfing (well you can but it gets into the milk and there have been no studies to see what effect this has on baby) which is ironic as that's made me even more depressed!

Well done Elle on the weight loss, good for you.

expat I did the cooled water at night with ds1 as he wanted to feed all night but was rubbish at day time feeding, glad last night was better- long may it last!

Sorry have only skim read so most likely have missed a few of you out but have to make the most of this naptime as it's been the highlight of my week!

Hi not high!

Emski Hope you manage to grab some sleep of some kind today. Sleep deprevation is a real killer, and I inky really had it while pregnant. We're so lucky with R and her sleeping at night.

ledkr I'm imagining your face when you spoke to your sis...can imagine you swearing at her as soon as her back was turned. I sometimes think people just don't think what they're saying.

reastie Could it not be a takeaway treat for DH's birthday? or a meal out? I'm not sure what I could cook in a microwave with no sink. When we had our kitchen done we were forced to eat out at the pub, Pizza Express, Jamie's Italian and Wagamamas. It was terrible.

Feeling loads better today, just more positive all round. I had time to do a tidy this morning (thanks to R getting up at 5:30) and it's made me feel loads better. Also had a couple of hours to 'myself' as I went in to work for a chat with my boss. Saw loads of people and hung around for lunch too which was fab. I'm staying off until November but I secretly wouldn't mind going back sooner. I know I'll regret it if I do though.

Think I'll go for a walk this afternoon in the sunshine...hope the mad dog lady isn't in the park again!

I would like a quick high too, 40Weeks

big old high to everyone

elle no takeaway for DH - in this here little village nowhere delivers pizza healthy food options and I haven't got time to dash out in the car to collect with my bedtime routine timed to perfection second for alice .Am dashing to tesco and will get a bothing microwave meal (he might like it anyway as I never buy ready made meals for him - plus, like wiggles says - I won't be too good to him ). I have bought a choc cake for pud though

I'm now imagining ledkr collapsed on the floor in her lycra finery after the shred

elle I think mad dog lady will run in the other direction if she sees you glad youre more positive today