Feb 2011- a bit late, but we're finally in post natal!

[debka]

Welcome everyone!!

Thanks ledkr!
I really don't mind hearing about all your babies, i actually quite like it! However as it transpires things are very different in RL. My friends DS is having a first birthday party next sat and I am dreading it, all of our friends will be there with their children. I am finding these feelings very distressing as i normally love being around babies and i have a baby lined up to start with me in August, just not sure i will cope.

am feeling as wrote long post last night, somehow it got deleted so did another and that got deleted too. I gave up in a huff and I'm afraid I can't be bothered do it again.

Quickie link www.thinqfitness.com/video.asp?pn6=EG for people wanting to do some excercise but can't get to the gym (like me). This site have quite a few free excercise videos you can do. I used to do them quite alot when I couldn't get to the gym. Thought it might be useful for some of you.

Got a fireman coming to the house today . Not sure if it's across the country, but in my area they will come over and install smoke alarms for free to anyone who want it .

ledkr I'm not sure I can get a throw which would be big enough to cover the sofa

wiggles very re: paris. have a frogs leg on me

DH now has my coldy thing too :( Am hoping alice doesn't get it but she's been coughing/sneezing a bit this morning . Calpol is at the ready

Thanks for ff advice - will hunt the thread and try and work out with DH what to do.

Re: high chairs we got one for 25 squid from ebay . It's in fab condition and is one of those nice wooden trip trap-esque types. It's called east coast the one I've got - a friend has the same one and says it's v good, also has good reviews on amazon. Ebay is the best though. I got bored yesterday and bid on everything in sight lots of useful baby things. Can't even remember what I won so will be a nice suprise when they arrive

aww jane :( I often think you are amazing to still be and keep up with our thread, and it must be so hard to hear about all our LOs - but in RL it must be a whole different ball game in hardness. I have no wise words of wisdom (ledkr and wiggles are best at that :) )but if you are stressing about the birthday party then don't feel you have to force yourself - everyone will understand.

ledkr can you sleep in the spare room and get DH to do night time feeds? that's what I do . Does still mean early mornings depending on when she gets up but at least when you are asleep you don't get woken up by LO fidgeting. suppose that might not work with your dhs shifts though

reastie at your fireman

ledkr thanks - Anna was not covering herself in glory last night re sleeping. I do think she was a bit constipated, that particular problem seems to have worked itself out (pooey) and is also very sniffy and sneezy. We were up from very early, she of course is asleep now to the sound of the washing machine.

jane giving your hand a squeeze, life is just so shitty hard and unfair sometimes, only you know best what to do re the party and baby starting in August, but however you react, and deal with it, we are all here for you and I'm hope your fiance is too.

It's bloody freezing here, away to dig out a proper coat

jane maybe you should admit defeat.
I had a mc 11yrs ago,it was a precious pg as id had chemo and was told i was infertile-not that evry pg isnt special of course. mc was a huge shock as i went for my 12wk scan to be told it had died. I then tried again,obviously against the odds,it took over 2 yrs. during that time i began to resent anyone who was pg or had a baby,i lived in a permanent state of resentment,jelousy and bitterness-im being honest. it wasnt right, I remember when my sil had her baby mil "kindly" left a message on my machine,i literally sank to the floor crying. Anyway,i guess what im trying to say is if you can feel like that re a mc then its hardly suprising you feel the way you do. My feelings obviously changed when i became pg again,but looking back i wish id got help.Do you have access to counselling of any kind? But you know what,go easy on yourself,dont be around babies if you cant handle it at the moment,no shame in that,nobody knows how they would react so you do what makes things more bearable my love xxx

Jane, just wanted to give you a virtual hug. I really hope it gets easier or you, I can't I imagine the pain your feeling. I hope your getting the support you deserve in rl. I second what Ledkr says re counselling, it might help to talk it all out. You can always post anything on here. You have been here for us so much despite your pain, and we are here for you xx

Morning, dd was fussing a bit in the night last night (yawn) she has also started pooing at night (before it was in the day, regular as anything) - what should I do?! Change her nappy when she wakes at 2/3am - I had a sniff but couldn't smell anything last night, am a bit worried about waking her up then she won't sleep again Ah, the obsessing over poo continues

ledkr fwiw my friend put her son into his own room at 2 days old, tho its next door to theirs and he doesn't have cleft like Dilly... prob not very helpful is it. I need to get dd sleeping unswaddled before I put her in her own room... (oh and I would have got blown up rather than face zombies, deffo )

jane do you have to go to the party on sat? I'm sure people will understand if you don't. I'm sure you will be fine with the baby in August, but agree with ledkr its better you stay aware of your feelings rather than try and ignore them xx

MizK at your dh, I havn't been to any baby groups, dp gets a bit 'concerned' I think, he hints at me about going to things like that but I doubt he would be heading off to any dads groups anytime soon! Would be lovely to meet up, ooh the first feb 2011 meeting! I might have already asked you if you go to Sherwood surestart, was thinking of going myself b'cos the one near me is a bit grot Will pm you my phone no so you can text me?

reastie fireman eh Enjoy! They do that in our area too, might have to get something arranged...

Right this has taken me an hour to write b'cos dd was fussing so much, she is finally having a sleep so I'd better get in the shower quick... having a lazy day today so will be back later

Jane big hug from here too! For what it's worth I think you are being amazing. Speaking honestly about your feelings on here is such a good thing and will help you slowly work your way though this difficult time. X

again thank you all for your advice. I have my post-natal check with the doc on wednesday, i am going to ask about counselling i think it would do the world of good.

reastie at your fireman visit! One of my mindees dad is a fireman, unfortunatley not the hunky kind!

reastie massive throws from jon Lewis. D doesnt need a night feed she is just a fidget arse and im a light sleeper,we are going to split up.Dh is going to have D in spare room,i cant sleep in there as my back really reacts to the bed,it will be nice to have my own room,i might hang some JustinTimberlake posters up and put a stereo up there yum fireman. When i was nursing we used to all rush to meet the firemen if they got called out by the mad patients smoking in their rooms.We had a memo round to say we were only meant to send on staff member when they came,it was headed "lusting sfter firemen" haha
M e and dh have just been saying that we dont seem to get on anymore,which is true,babies put such a strain on things,i told him i find his apathy very annoying and that i didnt think it was apprpriate for a grown man to watch wrestling all day. It is sad cos we were one of those annoying in love couples before. I wonder if it will ever return,does anyone else find they are more moody in the 2nd half of their cycle?
I go to toddlers on Monday and am hoping to go to the childrens centre,only prob is i will know half the mums as clients.

It's hard to catch up with everything on here, so much going on!

ledkr I had a read of that thread about breast cancer- how can people possibly think it's ok to take children away from their mother in that situation? My mother's mother died of breast cancer when my mum was 15 and the way it was dealt with has affected her whole life- can't imagine how she'd be if she and her sister were taken away. My great aunt and my aunt (all maternal) have all had breast cancer, and my mum now has advanced breast cancer, it's in her bones but she's having another course of chemo ATM because they found a spot in her lung :( She's been tested for the BRCA1 and 2 genes but doesn't have them, which means there's no genetic link THAT THEY KNOW ABOUT for me, my sisters and my girls but it is something that's always there for me- based on family history my sisters and me and my girls will all develop breast cancer at some point. :(

mizk I've been to know baby groups either, it's only now Imy's 2 that she pays any attention to other children. Your DH is being a bit of a

reastie send him round here when he's finished I could do with a fireman today , he'd better be in his uniform

jane yes just be easy on yourself, you're still grieving for your little girl. I hope no-one expects you to be back to normal in an instant. Remind me when your wedding is planned for? Do you have to wait for more results before you can start TTC again?

ledkr and ponyo what's this about zombies? Do I need to pack my o fuck rucksack?

Debka,that why i never othered with the testing,you may not have brca 1 or 2 but so what? I may get it one day and defo get the girls to have the test.Did you ever find out about preventative surgery,it was an easy decision for me,they take the breast out rather than off then replace it with an implant,i have better boobs than before and would be happy if the girls decided to do it. My boys all have to be aware too,men can get it of course and also higher risk of testicular.Evil disease it is.
Just saw Penelope cruise on the fashion police,she looks like she hasnt had a baby grrrrrrr. Starting the shred today am worried re knackered knees tho.

debka wedding is 19th November (day before my 30th) Yikes! we don't have to wait for the genetic testing results as they are more of a formality and Downs isn't a condition that is inherited. I am still waiting on AF returning though, we won't really think about ttc until July the earliest as we don;t want EDD to be round the same time as Zoe.

I am sorry to hear your mum is ill, i hope you are ok.

mizk id give dp a slap tbh,not normal for a man to be fussing about baby groups,dh doesnt even know they exist,why dont you enrol him in one if hes so concerned

Deb yes sorry,i forgot to say,how awfull about your Mum.poor you.

ledkr ATM there's no real increased risk for me- no-one's developed it before 40 in my family, so I want to get all my children born and bf them all before then, at which point I might consider preventative surgery. They won't do any extra tests etc before then anyway. TBH by the time I'm 40 I'll definitely be in need of a new pair maybe they'll help catch me a new DH

Thanks- we've been living with it for a while now, so I'm fairly used to it, plus we live opposite and I look after her when she needs it and cook all their meals as if I don't already have enough to do She is really up and down- last month a wheelchair was delivered for her and this month she went out and bought a fold up bicycle !!!

jane that's AGES away, for some reason I thought it was July or August.

still awaiting fireman . I was secretly thinking if he turns up in his uniform ( ) could I get alice and him in a photo together - alice meets a fireman for the first time. Decided against it for fear of looking a bit odd

Alice officially caught my cold. SHe's never been ill before bless her. ot really sure what I can give her to help other than calpol and since she's 4 blinking days off 3 months I'm scared to give her more than 2 doses as that's all the packaging says I can do pre 3 months. Any ideas?

ledkr I ned at your thought of getting a stereo and justin timberlake posters for your room - you've got the tv up there already :)

mizk we don't do any groups yet . Maybe you should find a ridiculously expensive something for babies near you and ask DH if he minds paying for you to go and that maybe you should do a different class each day of such expense and see if that puts him off

gtg - poorly little baby is crying again :(

reastie poor Alice, is she stuffy or runny - if mine are very snuffy I use Karvol, I like the liquid drops, I put a few on a clean bib and then set the bib out of reach beside moses basket, I find it clears their nose and helps them sleep. She'll bounce back very quickly but it is a bit worrying when they're ill. Mr W looks like death this morning, he's away to work now dosed up but wouldn't be surprised if he comes home early.

mizk tell DH you've enrolled in a spa and well being class and ask him if he can watch baby for you because its vital you go for the induction class alone

debka I didn't realise your Mum had breast cancer, I knew she was ill but didn't know how, my maternal grandmother had both breasts removed 25 years and had had several bouts of chemo and radiotherapy over the years, she is now 83 and the cancer has spread to her skin, but she's still going strong on a diet of coffee and cigs - she models herself on Jackie O

Jane Nov is not long to wait for wedding. My friend (Gracies' mum) waited until so that baby wouldn't be born around Gracies first birthday, her fourth daughter was born when Gracie would have been 14 months.

Meant to say have added some photos

Bloooming eck. I potter off to the supermarket for a couple of hours and all you lot do is natter!

Good night here last night...R woke at 6:30 but I managed to get her to nap in our bed til 8:30! Felt a bit lazy so got her up and popped to supermarket via PIL's and nursery. Jabs this afternoon so this goes down as a busy day for me! God knows what I used to do!

Jane I think getting some counselling would be a really positive step, especially as you're planning on TTC relatively soon.

reastie Boo to the cold. Jabs this afternoon for us so I hope R doesn't come down with anything as a result.

Right, better get on...need to watch Neighbours put mountain of shopping away.

Just had the fireman over. Was a bit dissapointing as it was a fire lady not man.....and not even a big red fire engine parked outside either . Have got a snazzy fire alarm on the landing now though.

wiggles love the piccies - isn't it amazing how they hold their heads up so well when on their tums now? alice snuffly but not completely blocked, spluttering and, if anything like my cold, has a bad throat too. Will try karvol but can't get out to buy it until tomorrow now. Poor thing has been sleeping most of the day and really miserable. Hope sleeping all day doesn't mean she won't sleep tonight . Still, it's given me time to do some cooking and started cleaning the new-to-me sofa with the carpet cleaner machine

elle hope the dreaded jabs were OK.

Reastie, what a shame it wasn't a fireman!! I have a real thing for them. I think this can be blamed on an event in my childhood. When I was five I got my legs caught in the back of a dining room chair, the ones with the slats in, and being a panicky person, my mum called the fire brigade! They simply stood the chair on end and my legs slipped out. My first taste of a man in uniform has shaped me for life!
Wiggles, absolutely love the new pics. She has amazing head control! Noah has a v heavy head (?) so has trouble lifting his up from being on his stomach!
Elle, hope the jabs go ok
Debka, I didn't know your mum has breast cancer. In the past few years I've known of so many women who've had it, they've all recovered but it really does seem to be everywhere.
When Noah had a cold I bought baby nose clear from Boots. It's a pretty gross concept but really cleared his nose up plus it entertained Ben when I used it!
Ledkr, I think were all arguing etc with our hubbies at the moment. Lack of sleep and the added pressures if having a baby seem to almost destroy relationships. Yesterday was the first time dh and I have been out together without the boys since Noah was born. Although I honestly believe we should make an effort in our relationship sometimes I just can't be bothered.

I think I saw one of those nose clear things in waitrose a few weeks ago benandnoahsmum and thought of you as I think you mentioned at the time you had used it. I'd never heard of it before and was a bit [gag emoticon] about the idea. If I get to a chemist tomorrow I'll look out for that to.

This thread is amazing in that we all realise these things are normal for people in our situation - like the at DH thing - it really got me down last week but knowing some of you have had similar-ish issues and that things will change post baby really helps

Boo about the lack of fireman reastie.

Jabs all done, and R is sleeping soundly which is most unusual. Although if that's the only side effect I'll take it :) Have treated myself to some mango and a crumpet...