Feb 2011- a bit late, but we're finally in post natal!

[debka]

Welcome everyone!!

I did a massive post to you all and it got lost grr.
jane i meant to say to you that you would be a odd if you were all chipper after the loss of Zoe. I would be worse than you, you are an amazingly strong lady. I wouldnt think about getting "over" it she is your daughter,a part of you and df,you miss her and always will.The years and more children will help you not think about it constantly and i believe grief pain gets easier the longer it goes on because you get used to it.She will always be part of your family and leave a little space at your table and quite right too she cant just be forgotten she was Zoe a little girl the same as my little girl she just didnt get as long in this life.Take your time.

bens please try the pram for naps,i keep her asleep by rocking if she stirrs.She then gets a decent nap which i find helps with all of it. I know im still rocking her but i figured she is at least learning to nap away from me and i can reduce the rocking eventually.When she wasnt napping in the day my nights were much worse.
Work under the assumption of 5-6 good feeds-wake him if needed-and 2-3 naps of no more than 1.5 hrs even when rocked. It seems to do the trick. Please dont be mad with me if the dream feed cutting causes more probs,a i think you will need to give it time and b it may not work for all babies.
Its a good idea to let dh take over for a few nights,it became "a thing" with me and doesnt bother dh much.It maybe your anxiety makes things worse.I was approaching each wake up with fury and annoyance which obviously didnt help her settle again,
If all else fails maybe you should get some proper co sleep advice from mn,if its the choice of sleep or that id defo co sleep. me and dh have to have "adult time" in other areas of the house,ok the sofa,im not that energetic,as D woke up the last time i guess it adds abit of spice,and you dont miss your soaps or the apprentice {grin]

oh dear,ive painted a picture havent i? Sorry if you were eating ladies.

Ledkr lovely imagery I now have Thanks re the names, I really like them although I was on the baby name section once and a poster was going on about how "chavvy" it was to give your children names that end in the same sound, just as well I don't give two shiney shites.

Not sure where today has gone - last time I looked at the clock it was 11am

Bensmum hope this evening goes ok for you, tell Noah if he doesn't sleep I will not let him be Annas boy name twin anymore - letting husband settle him is a good idea, I think Anna settles for sleep better for Mr W - its like she just wants me for cuddles and can't be arsed with him so she just sleeps.

bensmum thinking of you tonight, good idea to get DH to do it ( at having one that will help!), it means you will get a good rest, and I always feel a lot more positive after a rest.

ledkr write that book, I'll buy myself and every member of my family a copy

DH is away again this weekend (yay!!), but I'm car-less, and live in the middle of nowhere so I've got a few visitors lined up. My aunt's coming tomorrow to help me put the girls to bed then we'll watch The King's Speech together. If I can be arsed have time I'll make a chocolate cake mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Debka Meant to say yay for Sabine, the only way is up now!!!! Tomorrow sounds like a lovely evening, we kept meaning to go see the Kings Speech but didn't get around to it, so we hoping to see it next week.

Good luck bensmum with the next few nights, hope you make some progress.

Debka DH is out tonight and I'm on the sofa with watching the King's Speech.

I'm feeling a bit weird today, DH is going away on Sunday for a week for work, and although I am moving to my Mum & Dad's for a few days (not the whole week), I am still apprehensive about a whole week without him. I think I'm also just having an 'off' day anyway, one of those days where I just wish this bit of parenting would pass quicker so I could get onto the next bit, then feeling guilty for thinking that and wishing it away as we're probably only doing this once TBH.

Anyway, it sounds like I may need another glass of wine, so enjoy your evenings and weekends ladies.

D

Poor ledkr and the smear

Good luck bensmum and Americanexpat with sleep progress. It might get harder before it gets better but you will get there

Glad today has been better Jane thinking of you

Hello folks,

Am going to post and run, really sorry but its going to be a selfish one, dd has been a real fusser today, she had a bottle this morning, went to my mums and then kept trying to feed her and she screamed like I was hurting her.
So basically she went from 7.30am until 2.30 pm without a feed. Then the same later when I got home, she had a few ounces because dp forced her and then 2 oz before bedtime - lots of tears inbetween.
Am feeling pretty rubbish and worried, hopefully she'll be fine tomo but we've got a family 'do' to go to, 2hours drive away, I dont really want to but we sort of have to.
Has anyone had anything similar? Dp and I have been stressing at each other because we get stressed with the crying, hes gone out and I feel pretty shit to be honest.

Sorry for selfish post, not long put her to bed so if she stays asleep will try and get back on later xx

Ponyo sending a hug and She could just be having a bad day, does she usually sleep in the car, maybe the drive will help her relax and she'll be on fine form for the 'do'.

Hopefully a good few hours sleep this evening will do you both the world of good xx

Thanx all for your support, it's really appreciated. We've just put Noah down for the night, bathed him later after his massage, then dh fed him. He took a good feed and did a good burp then dh put him in his cot with his 'binky' which is a soft toy with a blanket attached. He moaned and cried for about a minute then snuggled his face into his binky and fell asleep. Can only hope he keeps this up thru the night!
Ponyo, Noah has cried and screamed a few times when I've tried to feed him this week and I think it was wind. I laid him on my legs then rubbed his tum, then he farts and is ok again. I even had to feed him in that position the other night. It's almost like they are hungry but can't feed cos it hurts so much. I hope she is ok for you tonight.
Well, I'm gonna finish my beer and head to bed!
P.S. Ledkr, don't mention sex to my dh, we still haven't commited the act yet and I dont want him getting any thoughts. I think my anti D's are affecting my sex drive! Plus I'm to bloody exhausted!

Ponyo C has had off days with feeding and I always panic that it's going to be a nightmare forever, but usually the next morning all is fine. FWIW, even with her reflux, when C screams during feeds it is almost always wind. Try not to stress about it in the morning tho, I do this and I am sure it transfers to C sometimes.

Sorry for my self-indulgent post earlier, I've had a little self-indulgent cry and actually feel miles better. I don't actually know why I try and stop myself from crying (to be 'strong' or whatever LOL) as it without fail always helps.

bensmum yay for Noah settling in cot with binky. Fingers crossed for you.

D

re: smears I really think it depends how heavy handed the nurse is. I've had some which haven't been bad at all and others that have been slightly toe curling whilst it's being done. There's a particular nurse at my practice who did a very painful smear, and when I was pg she did a really really painful high vaginal swab which set off terrible bhs. She's terribly 'let's get stuck in there' type. I think I need to keep my distance with her in future . Same with mws at hospital giving me internal examinations - some were really good and gentle and others really hands on in there quite roughly IYKWIM.

DH and I still not on good terms. I've been polite etc but not my usual self. Either he hasn't noticed or doesn't care. All I had all day was a half hearted quick hug and a kiss on the cheek goodnight :(

Jealous of those watching kings speech - really want to watch that but thought i'd set up love film again and rent it.

ponyo alice does that occasionally and I have no idea why. It's usually when she's taken a bit from one boob and when I try and get her back on again she screams the place down but if I stop trying to feed her she's fine - but I always worry as she hasn't fed much at all. If you find out why this happens please let me know!

deb enjoy the weekend

5 day in the making super explosive poo earlier - went all over her vest and babygro too . Took practically a whole big pack of babywipes to sort out .

Alice not settling tonight - hope she doesn't have this throat thing I have. Hope I haven't got a tough night ahead.

Ok I'm back, no noise from dd so far and I've got myself a

Thanks for the replies, wiggles she does usually sleep in the car so I reckon she should be ok, its funny I worry about a routine but then when I change it (eg going to my mums today) she doesn't like so then I think I need less of a routine! Can't win!

bensmum hope N has a lovely big sleep and so do you. If we have probs tomo and going to try winding her more.

delia you are 100% right that stress transfers to baby, I've noticed it when I've been stressing and given her to dp it can really make a difference. So will try and be nice and positive and chilled in the morning I still find myself feeling guilty sometimes that I'm wishing dd;s life away, I know I'm doing it a lot less than in the early days but still do it so its pretty normal I hope think.

I've found sometimes posting on here is the only time I can be really honest about how difficult I find things sometimes, like earlier with dd not feeding and crying I really felt I should just hold it together and not say to dp or my mum how hard I was finding it.

jane hope you got yourself some treats shopping and enjoy your lunch tomo :)

I have decided that we should only let ledkr post if she includes a quick anecdote from her past I'm not fussy, it can be celeb based or just a random one about a night in with a drag queen, I don't mind :) What do we think?!

reastie hope A settles for you very soon. at the explosive poo and even more at how interested I am in not only dds poos but other babies too

Sorry about your dh. I agree with those who suggested giving the cold shoulder treatment but don't know if I could do it myself, am too needy for physical affection! Not sure what to suggest bit hope he sorts himself out soon.

yes ponyo fab idea re: ledkrs stories - love it.

enjoy your all those sitting and trying to relax this evening. I just had a square of galaxy choc

Just got a biiiiiggggggg (hopefully) comfy sofa on gumtree for alices playroom/family room so alice can have somewhere nice to relax in when she's older and dh and i can watch tv without worrying about ruining my prize expensive sofa in the sitting room . Collect it tomorrow morning - hope it's as nice as it looks

Is it sad that I buy a sofa (my prize expensive one) just to plump the cushions and admire it and occassionally sit on it to enjoy the true comfort . I even ask certain messy people not to sit on it when they come over and instead sit in the cheap not as comfy sofa

ponyo I have no routine at all to speak of, but I'm a bit of a slattern , in saying that Anna does the same thing most days so I suppose she has her own routine, I just take her wherever I need to go, poor pet's life revolves around the school run, Tescos, Sofia's Irish dancing and gymnastics and both sets of grandparents!!

When I had Sofia if we ever got really stressed, (funny how its worse when husbands/partners/mums are there, Mr W and I used to hiss at each other for no apparent reason, we were both trying to do the same thing - settle Sofia) I just learned to breathe, I used to have to take off a layer of clothing, I was always really sweaty and panicky , take all the babys clothes off, or strip her to her nappy and start again. Sometimes I would even give her a quick bath again at some ungodly hour.

reastie no its not sad that you are massively a little obsessed with a sofa you don't sit on , it just shows that Alice is still an ickle baby and hasn't discovered markers, pencils, glue, messy food, milk, anything orange or chocolately fingers!!!

jane have a fabarooni day tomorrow x

reastie a square of galaxy,a square?wtf?I have a nice lose cushioned sofa,i only ever feel right about life the moment after its been plumped and i absolutely detest people sitting on it
I am feeling under some pressure to produce some more stories now but you may well have had the lot now and my memory is failing fast.
Heres hoping the insomniac babies sleep and the sleepy ones continue onwards untill at least 10am. D settled okish tonight knobhead dh is at work so me and Els had our curry and sweets and watched tv,it was tres pleasant. Off to play on the friday night threads now as i dont have dh glaring at me and then his watch in a pointed fashion

wiggles the hissing is familiar to me as well and i so get the sweating too.
I thought i was ill a few times when Dilly wouldnt settle.
ponyoI took Dilly to my ex sil and then shopping on Thursday,she was hideous all day and didnt feed well or sleep.i can only put it down to not etting her kips in her pram and not being fed on my pristine sofa,funny bugger.She was the same on holiday. I do not intend to be sat in the house all thru the summer so she needs to get over herself.

Reastie does that mean you will have 3 sofas? How bloody big is your house? yes, it was me wondering about Needto. Glad she's ok!

There are a few posters we haven't heard from in a while - Sbf, Zero, roundthehouses, prof etc. I hope they're all ok!

DH and I went to bed just after 9 last night. It was still light outside - on a Friday night! How hardcore are we? There was nowt on telly and t'internet was down.

Jane hope you have a lovely day. Girlie lunch sounds lovely!

Morning wandering,i went early too but got caught on mn for a while,Delilah woke at 7am which was great but was fidgety from about 4 am i had to put ear plugs in,i cant wait till she goes into her own room but its on the floor below and i feel a bit worried going against the sids advice just in case altho we do have a monitor with a sensor. DD1 p'd me off i let her stay up and then she gets up as soon as she hears me which is ridicu;ous as i have to practically drag her out of bed on a school day at 7.30,i sent her back to bed but i can hear her mooching about

at reastie with her multiple sofas - I'm now imagining you in a massive house too!

Well dd has been up since 6am, but she slept well all night bless her and had a bottle no fuss this morning, phew!

ledkr "she needs to get over herself" did make me laugh, I don't intend to be sat in the house all summer either now you mention it so might have to apply the same to dd

wiggles yes to the sweating, I didn't realise until you mentioned it but that has definitely happened more than a few times here!

wandering I could have gone to bed early last night but stayed up faffing, wish I had done actually so am thinking of bed by 9 tonight

Hope everyone has a good day :)

ledkr if you were that worried about SIDS, would you have put the earplugs in??!! Sabine woke at 6 singing to herself but then put herself back to sleep, lovely baby, till 7.30. Imogen and DH are still asleep, lucky buggers!

reastie now I have you in a big mansion full of beautiful sofas! We have one small grotty one which is also a sofabed and bloody uncomfy to sit on. Has a matching armchair which is v v comfy but I've snaffled it and put it in S's room for feeding. Hmmm, now I'm boring myself....

I saw zero on another thread the other day, should have accosted her! Haven't seen anything of sbf or prof, maybe they're actually looking after their children rather than sitting them in front of the telly whilst MNing like us !

Ledkr it does my head in when DD1 gets up early. She's usually tired and ends up a right ratty moo. Often DH sends her back to bed!

That's my DD1 that does my head in, ha ha! Sounded like I was talking about your DD1 .

DD2 was supposed to be moving in with DD1 this weekend but we're leaving it till next weekend. I'm glad but DH can't cope with her grunting and groaning.