Four hours later and here I am, chocolate in hand.
My MIL has been visiting all week which has been great, nice to have some company in the school holidays when the regular activities aren't on, and I got a little bit of time to myself, bliss! It hasn't been great for internet time though, so I'm doing a big catch up tonight while babysitting at a friend's house.
To add my tuppenceworth to the discipline debate, we've had great success (I think...!) with the naughty step/time out, but we had to teach them they were expected to stay there by doing rapid return. So when we took them to the step, we explained what they had done that was naughty and that they needed to sit there for 2 mins and think about what they'd done/be ready to say sorry etc and say we'd come and get them when the 2mins was up. First time they got off the step we'd say "no, you need to sit here for 2mins". Second time would be something like "stay here" and all subsequent times they were picked up and put back on the step without any words or eye contact from us. Even if they're mucking about and laughing, if you can keep a stern face on it will be to your advantage! I find getting down to their level and giving direct eye contact and using a 'teacher voice' works well. A sort of I. Am. Not. Impressed. This. Is. Not. A. Game. approach. Rather than "now then sweetie pie you've been a bit naughty haven't you" said in "would you like an ice cream" tones. I promise if you do rapid returns you will win and they'll sit out their 2mins eventually! If you don't get a sorry (or at least, not a sincere one) or they're still kicking off then they get another 2mins until they've calmed down.
DS has had some epic tantrums recently which have largely gone ignored (we just step over him or move him out the way!) but disobedience/naughty behaviour that they know is wrong/hitting out at other children etc is straight to the step and they really know what that means. Sometimes DS has been on there quite a while before he's prepared to say sorry, but he more than knows what's going on.
Sorry that's a bit waffly and probably doesn't make much sense, but that's how we do it!
DS is now old enough that we ask him to 'name his crime' (but not in those words obviously!). So when we put him on the step we explain in a calm voice why he's been put there, then when his 2mins is up I'll say "why did mummy put you on the step?" and he's able to say he hit his sister/threw something etc, then I'll ask him to say sorry for that, and if necessary go and say sorry if another person was involved. It helps me to know that he knows why he was given the time out, and I think its a good discipline for them to voice something they've done wrong and say sorry for it.
I'm inclined to agree on not using the bedroom for discipline, that's a place of rest and peace, not a punishment. Also our DCs bedroom has lots of toys in it now, so they'd just muck about!