FESH Spa & Creche: Plenty more FESH in the brie

[CUNextTuesday]

Welcome all those with aching scars, undercarriages, eyelids and limbs. Find comfort here. Menfolk barred.

Sorry I didn't mean to skite about my new friends. I think I have just been so determined to take advantage of playing the 'I've just moved here' card in the first few weeks - and for once it's actually worked. We've moved a few times and I have certainly banged my head against the wall before over why I so often find myself as Nigella No Friends. That's no fun at all.

I am sunburnt!

Just as well we've got each other then if we're all as equally shit/shy/accidentally obnoxious/foot-switching!

I'm not sure what's happening next Weds - somebody else might need to host because I confused cunty with my cancellation of the Oxford bash and so she's decided to go to Paris mid-week or something. moo I'm not really feisty, I'm shy and say the wrong things and I'm clumsy and I take my shoes off which seems to offend people. And tbh, there's usually a trail of dog-hair in my wake. Oh, and the thought of doing "baby cinema" a la fanny would have me visibly curling my lip at my new-found friends!

silv I have only one baybee friend here (the girl curly introduced me to) and tbh she's enough because we're both on the same page. I wouldn't waste my time with people who just don't "fit". I've just binned a girl here who is 36 weeks and on paper I should get on with her, but I just find her a whiny twat. :( Life is busy and difficult enough without forcing yourself to spend time with people you're really not that keen on. Our stables is having a night out in a few weeks - I'm not going because I only really like a handful of people and my time is too important to spend it faking smiles.

curls You've inspired me and I'm off to the park after he's had a nap + breakfast, in search of a "bucket" swing.

Not sure what to do about the bike stuff. JB looked in Halfords here the other day and said the seat was 80 euros, what are the prices like in UK?

What do you really hate about baby "fashion"? For me, I hate trousers with elasticated bottoms but these are very common for little boys. I think possibly it's my own hang-up at play here - you know, I've got to come to terms with I shouldn't be dressing Bear for my bodyshape. It's just that tapered trousers are so very, very fucking wrong and don't even get me started on skinny jeans for babies.

(Yes, am feeling particularly charitable this morning.)

What does "skite" mean fanjo?

Another iffy night with a 145 and 245am wake up call. It's seems White Noise and ignoring him worked. We've all only just woke up and I think we'd all still be asleep if HI wasn't so noisy and therefore woke MB. Desperately need to get a 1 tog grobag. Last night MB had on just his nappy under his 2.5 tog. I tried him in a vest and under a sheet. Well he screamed the house down and hated it so had to strip him off.

Today is photoshoot day and I still can't decide what to wear! MB not me!

The horrible comments are still playing on my mind and I do think one arose to someone having a rough day. Usually we have great banter, clearly not yesterday! The one girl I get on with at baby group goes back to work in May anyway. A lot of this group also go to the local activity stuff so I'll have to see them there and they may be a bit miffed that I drop their group.

Two friends had baybees last week and both had gals. Think gals are on the up and the trend of mainly boys is crushed!

HI is giving himself the afternoon off. For us to do something nice. Let's see what time he actually walks through the door!

alpro Toddlers in skinny jeans looks cute. To me. Babies - no!

G'wan silv - Let rip and let us know what this cow said. We will be appropriately mean to her and reassure you.

We too are now in summer-tog sleeping bags, although not sure if I should take a winter one to my m&d's as they live in some sort of weather pocket which is always cold & wet.

I hope you have a lovely afternoon silv, the lady next door has invited us over for a "meet & greet".

silv It means boasty showing off. Oxford Dictionary skite.

alps I am so fashion unaware that a year ago I did not even know what jeggings were, let alone the social ramifications. I was trying to find some navy blue leggings for Bonnie and found some with a strange jeans-like overstitch down each leg, but thought oh well and bought them anyway. Then only later realised the horror that I had committed! They went into the nursery bag as emergency trousers after that.

And alps I do know what you mean about baby cinema. But I'm taking the attitude that friendship comes in all shapes and sizes so am trying to be open-minded.

It's actually a fairly diverse group - yes plenty of cupcakes / bunting / Emma Bridgewater types, but also one mum with purple hair and a pierced tongue. At least one is horsy and in the same situation as me: sold horse when preggers and biding time until she can drag toddler behind her on a pony. That's good enough for me.

My daughter has jeggings. what of it?

(in their defence, they go with pretty much any t-shirt, fit better than the only pair of jeans she has, which don't stay up, and IMO are preferable to yet another pair of baby pink leggings)

Glad you've found some nice friends Fanny. I had to cross to the dark side (NM rather than MN) to find local mums. Hopefully a group of us will be heading to a soft play in the countryside next Friday.

I am on a mission to find good finger food recipes for a 9 month old. But then find one and realise I can't be arsed making it

Off to look for any news on minimedee

curly Finger food this end for breakfast this morning was soldiers (with jam) and a fried egg cut in to inch squared size pieces. Not much was eaten but he happily hammered his fist in to the plate and threw pieces at the extremely happy dogs. Pls not to be cancelling on me as I've just been out and bought FESH-resents.

PS Investigations of the park revealed no bucket swing (but JB is going to buy one for the garden), but they've got those animal things on springs and a witches hat - so when he's a bit older he can happily get knocked unconscious by his mates.

So everytime MB has a poo of substantial size it explodes out the legs. Do I need next size up?

You see curly? With yet another foot in mouth incident it is a clearly miracle that I am able to make any friends at all.

I am an expert at finger food for lazy-arsed mums. (Potential book title there?) Top tip is cream cheese finger sandwiches, with added grated carrot once they have teeth. Sainsbo's cream cheese is lower salt than Philly. Bonnie has always loved grated mozarella and eats it by the handful. I keep a bag of wraps in the bread bin and tear it up for finger food, or turn it into pizzas topped with grated vegetables if I have more time. Wraps are also good emergency food for car journeys as they don't make loads of crumbs like bread sticks or croissants do (voice of experience). When cooking vegetables for us at night I steam some extra broccoli florets / carrot batons and put them in the fridge for Clyde to munch the next day. He likes them straight from the fridge - nice on his toothy gums I think.

Should I be giving some thought to joining in the Tuesday meet up with the curlyalp crew? Or are your plans all tied up now? I think I could manage a few hours in the car, and hey, it's another opportunity to demonstrate my obnoxious brilliant social skills!

Yes, yes, yes! If you can - come. curls has restaurant details - and we're planning to meet at 12.

fanny I have further proven my lack of friend-making skills by failing to email you details for Tuesday I will send link to meeting place and time asap ( Which will be right after this as long as she doesn't wake up NOW). alps I won't cancel, and I'll even make sure Squeaks is presentable on the day and not wearing her repulsive jeggings

Thanks for food tips. I am going to go into town shortly and get ingredients for baby muffins and pancakes for me to eat

alps that's a shame about the swings. Squeaks really loves them. Have also sat on normal ones with her on my lap. I tried to put her in one of those boingy things and nearly boinged her straight off it. Ooops! And she wasn't too impress with being dropped down the slide either.

In other news, if no teeth appear this weekend I will throttle someone. Past couple of days have been awful and we had several screechy pained wakeups last night, with speedy Calpol delivery/Bonjela application. It was the first time in months her extreme crying really hurt me inside. Surprised I didn;t then cry myself to sleep.

If you look at Medee's FB page there is an announcement by one of her 'mates'. I really hate that, I'd have gone fucking spare if anyone had announced my news for me. Maybe she asked her to do it though so I shall reign in my venom. For now! Anyway, I will leave it to Meds to come and make her formal announcement, but YAY for babyMeds! Welcome to the world little one.

I am in a fucking awful mood today. Last night I forgot my AD pill. TG went out and I fell asleep on the sofa so instead of waking BB up for her last feed around 10.30pm, I woke to her screaming just after midnight. Not a good start but she fed well and was back in bed just after 1am. I washed up the bottles and was in bed by 1.45am.

Then, for the fifth night on the trot BB started thrashing around about 4am. Once again, not properly awake, not hungry, no dirty nappy, but I know if I hadn't intervened it would have progressed to full on screeching. I had to keep getting up and shoving dummy in and putting her comforter close (she likes to pull it over her nose) and putting on the mobile music. After an hour she was out cold again thank god. So then Boo wakes up at 6.10am FFS! I rushed out of the bedroom and dragged her downstairs before she disturbed anyone else, plonked her in front of Happy Feet with some fruit and milk, then went back to bed like the good mother I am. Within minutes BB was on the move and by 6.45am I was up heating a bottle and trying to prop my eyes open with matchsticks whilst pouring coffee down my neck.

What is that all about? Why is she suddenly having disturbed nights after 6 weeks of sleeping peacefully through?* I don't get it. Anyone got any ideas? Unless maybe something is disturbing her, perhaps my snoring? We didn't put her in her own room last week as the weekend was too busy, and also it looks like we are moving house next month so we thought we might as well leave it until then.

We are only moving nextdoor, but it is a bigger house with room for an office and a spare room again. Will be lovely except now we have no excuse not to invite SIL from hell to come and stay. gah. Just waiting for the current tenants house purchase to go through to find out what date we can move. Not looking forward to the packing though!

• I do realise I have no right to complain and I sound like a whiney cow after only 5 nights of disturbed sleep, when some of you have coped with that for months and I need to HTFU.

And I've just posted on her wall . Of course, I look forward to the real announcement. (but I am squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee excited for medee)

sorry you've had such a shit night poll. It is always hard when it feels like a backwards step.

I've emailed you now fanny. Must take Squeaks to town now, before she starts yelling for lunch.

I think I had cossie tell you all because I was stuck in hospital of course. Nobody put anything on my fb wall until JB made the announcement there.

I'm very happy for medee, I must admit I get a bit jittery when they're late.

pol I think you need a cocktail. Or two. And a doggy-cuddle.

polly I also keep forgetting the pills. And then forgetting whether I've forgotten them. Surely they need to be in little packs like contraceptives with the days marked on them? I forgot last night so rather than skip another day I took it this morning and will just have to switch to mornings now.

curls / alps Yay! Will dig out our passports and take out a mortgage to fill car with diesel for the big adventure on Tuesday!

Sorry Casp I am just a crabby bitch today, ignore me!

Fanny sounds like you are doing really well on the making friends front. I have been here over 6 years and haven't made any progress at all. I think it will change when Boo starts school as I've already started to get to know some of the mums at preschool. I was really keen to move to the village where the school is as I kind of feel like an outsider still, but it is so expensive and also very small, so houses don't come up that often. Ah well, I will just have to take a leaf out of Fanny's book and make more of an effort!

Yes plz to the cocktail Alps but I'll pass on the doggy cuddle as she stinks of fox poo. TG is under strict orders to bath her today. I think I may have to make up a reason to leave the house go shopping today. On my own. Or else I might throttle someone.

Ah more x-posting. Fanny I know I started the pack of pills on a Monday and I have to keep counting the empty spaces to work out if I've taken the right amount! I have also taken one this morning, so hopefully it will kick in soon and I'll stop being such a mardy cah.

Ah hello everyone, fuck-up queen here. Yes, I assumed that when alps said she was canceling the M4 meet, she meant the one at mine, despite me having lived nowhere near the M4 for about 4 years now. Then once that was fixed in my head, and depite people still talking about the big FESH meet up which should have alerted me to the fact it was still supposed to be on, I merrily said yes to a job interview in Manchester (oh for a week in Paris!) which is on the Tuesday ALL DAY, which means I'll be pitched at my mum's. Being that this is 4.5 hours away in the car, it's looking unlikely I'll be back for lunch. Now if it was afternoon tea, we may be in with a fighting chance.... Dunno - up to youse lot. I'm veh veh sorry for screwing up the plans .

But on the plus side if I get this job we may be able to Move Up North :)

they must have known I'm a muppet cause my pills came in packets marked with days of the week...

cunty I'm only about and hour south of Manc if you want a cuppa.

just fed the child leftover spud with guacamole and cheese - she scoffed the lot and still has a clean face. Then I ate some of the guac myself and it's quite spicy! That's my girl. she's now scoffing a corner of my wrap. piglet.

must go and serve the yoghurt.l

Good luck rubytues!!!

Well photo shoot was erm............. Shite! MB not playing ball. Not his fault at all and who can blame my little cherub as it's his first time. However I did expect the snapper to have a few more "let's get him to grin/gurn" tricks up his sleeve other than peek-a-boo. MB won't fall for that one! So who knows what photos we have and if they are any good.

Been into town. Bought baby girl frock for my pal who has just laid. Had to assure the customer behind me in the queue that yes I know the baby in the pushchair is a boy and the frock is not for him. Is it etiquette to buy present for their pfb on arrival of psb? If so, will chocolate cut the mustard?

Dashed to a cafe as MB was hungry and in a tearful state. How fuckig useless are those chairs that are non moveable and impossible to wedge baybee between table and me to feed him. Then I was all hot and bovvered and wishing I'd stayed at home.

meds uber congratulations and welcome to the Spa. Buckets of gin await you. Are we expecting a few birf stories or have I just missed them?

Looking forward to seeing the results of shoot silv!

Well, that was a horrible day. Teething nappy rash has appeared suddenly and in the extreme. Poor mite's bum is so sore she cried through her last few nappy changes. And pretty much all day. She looks so confused. Lots of arms out, pleading face, wobbly lip. And even the odd "ma ma!" when it gets really bad. Might have been a fluke.