Dec 08 Mums - Snot Beards, Farty Boos and Willy Milk (not how it sounds!) - let the fun continue!

[Beans33]

Here we are x

Jam - v annoyed on your account, not you at all, that GP sounds hopeless. My sister is a doc and she is always encouraging me to take the DCs for things like coughs etc when I am inclined to let it like. Her take is that with small children things can build up quite quickly so better be safe than sorry.

Indith - poor mite.

SL - I'd be up for both night out and away, would be really great to see some of you.

JJ - For what its worth, that all sounds like pretty normal 2 year old behaviour esp when there are some pretty major changes going on. It doesn't last. I know nursery are doing what they think they ought to, but don't worry too much.

Urbs - that is really rank behaviour on the part of your BIL.

JB, WG - good to see you both on here (and to see you hanging in there JB) those last few weeks are tricksy.

Effie - the whole procrastinating on smears sounds very familiar - I got mine out of the way as a bit of a new year's resolution after the umpteenth chaser. Sorry yours has left you sore though.

LadyT - hope you are being spoiled and looked after at your mum's. Sometimes that's just what you need. I find the whole trial thing very whacky - that whole "will it won't it" thing leading up to a big case would drive me nuts. On Ishguro - I have read a few. He is one of those authors I think I admire, but for some reason don't love. Am reading some thing of DH's called On Roads, which is basicially a social history of motorways. It is kind of fascinating, but non-fiction doesn't really do what I need from a book on the whole. Must go get some reading matter.

Am in a bit of a grump here. Woke up the wrong side of bed this morning and was very snappy with the DCs which was unfair really. Had had a late one at work and I guess am fretting a bit about schools for DD. She did the assessments for my old school and rather than a clear yes/no ended up on the waiting list. Which to be honest isn't bad as they get 250 going for 24 places, although it sounds unlikely that she'll get a place. But the whole protective mad mother thing kicks in as obviously I think DD is really special and am unreasonably annoyed at them not seeing it. I am not even sure I want her to go there and I know I am sounding horribly precious and middle class. But there you go. Lunacy.

In total agreement about the ridiculous scheduling on Cbeebies. I got really quite angry on Monday when I did my usual ?if you get dressed quickly and stop hiding darling we can watch Mo Mo Bot?, and then rewarded DD with the 2 cocks. Fortunately we have a lot of episodes recorded. But . And when DH, the dashing Mr ZJ, came home and I told him that Show Me Show Me had gone, he looked like he was going to cry [hmmm]. Fortunately it's still on at weekends, I?ve already checked, and set series link recording

Great news about the moves progressing Arti and LadyT

I also always feel sore after a smear Effie and often have a small amount of bleeding. It turned out from my most recent smear that I have a wonky cervix that takes a bit of finding, hence all the delving around and the nurses often having to go and find industrial bits of kit. As a result I?m always extremely tense before and during, which must compound the issue. I hope the soreness disappears quickly

Jam I don?t know anything medical, but the fact you?re getting conflicting advice must be odd. When DD had a cough at Christmas (and I was being soft, it wasn?t half as bad as your DS?s sounds) the Dr prescribed anti biotics for her, not for the cough but because he told me that often a cough is an indication that the immune system is a bit low and he didn?t want her to pick up any of the other bugs that were going round. I hope you get a better hearing tomorrow

Indith your poor DD, give her a (gentle) hug from me. Is her elbow sorted out now?

I feel very sad that DD1 didn?t get to make cakes Jump. I thought the recommendation for the naughty step was 1 minute for each year, so she?d only get 2 minutes? So she shouldn?t have missed all the baking, should she? Do they say if she responds to the discipline? And sympathies on the feeding ? she?s not far off 6 weeks which is when it all settles down (in theory)

I?m going to have a pathetic and totally selfish moan before I go to bed, I?m sorry to be so self obsessed tonight. It?s my birthday tomorrow and DH has ended up having to stay away tonight ? that doesn?t bother me, but when I spoke to him earlier I (only half jokingly) asked if he?d hidden a card anywhere for me to open in the morning, or should I keep an eye out for the postlady. He told me he?d be late back tomorrow as he was going shopping for my card and pressie before he came home as he?s been really busy and the extra night away has affected his plans. Bearing in mind he should have been home tonight, but not til 9pm ish, I don?t know when he was planning to go shopping before my birthday. And yes he has been busy, but he had all last weekend off and the weekend before we were in London, where there are one or two shops but he specifically said he didn?t want to spend time shopping. And my parents are going away tomorrow with friends and haven?t heard a squeak from them. I?m feeling quite hard done to, but really is it too much to expect even a card? Poor me, what a hard life I have. On the plus side, I am not working tomorrow, but DD is still going to nursery. I?m going for a swim and then a hair cut and then I?m going to sit in my house in silence and drink in the peace and quiet and I can?t wait. My boss gave me sympathetic eyes when I told her my plans today, but she doesn?t have kids so I suspect can?t imagine the bliss that I?m looking forward to for a few hours.

Right, night all, I will wake up tomorrow and embrace my 32nd year with a more giving and positive face

Happy birthday Zoe! Your day sounds blissful btw. Have a lovely time getting your hair done and enjoy the peace :).

Happy Birthday ZJ! I would be huffy with DH too. Every year for our anniversary he used to buy me a card and write something romantic in it. This year he didn't. He said he was cooking supper instead. Which was lovely, but I'd rather have the card. Brat.

Now, ladies, I have a very last minute proposition for anyone. As you all know from my incessant whinging, DH is off running tonight and not back til late tomorrow. And I have the lovely Kiwi coming round tomorrow with her DD. She's coming at 10ish - does anyone else in the vicinity fancy it? I live in Streatham and can lay on lunch if anyone fancies it.

Sole reason I haven't asked earlier is because it's on a Saturday and I know that it's sacrosanct family time for most, so didn't want to impinge. BUT if you do feel like coming, I would love love love to see you. Will also lay on pizzas for lunch if anyone wants to stay for a bite to eat! Nothing exciting - literally, pizzas and salad! Please please let me know if you want to come and I will PM my address if I can work out how to use it!

The more the merrier!

xxxx

Ohh ZJ sorry your DH has been a bit of a twonk. But my that sounds like a fab day I would love it! Enjoy.

jam yep let's postpone today, sorry for getting on late to confirm!

Happy birthday ZJ. Yes your DH is a bit rubbish but this is the kind of rubbish thing I do so I do sympathise with him a bit! Time just always sneaks up on me. Am sure you will have a lovely day, v jealous!

jj sorry about feeding difficulties, I remember E being a bit like this, was a nightmare, but I think it got better around 6 weeks.

Does seem a bit harsh on DD1 to have her sit out of the cake making? What's the thinking behind that? They do do time out at DS's nursery but they only sit them out for a bit. Apparently DS always was trying to shove everyone out of the way to get into the garden first to get the best toys and then would get in time out so would get all the leftovers as he'd end up last. This always amused me, cos I bet he did it time and time again until he learnt!
Also I bet she does behave v differently nursery, DS is really good at sharing stuff at home with visitors, but as soon as he's out at a toddler group he's a horror! And I don't think he ever gets put in time out at nursery now so he must have got better there.

Right ignoring DS so had better go. In fact he just took my hand and said "hand off"!
haha

well, zj, a mahoosive happy birthday from me. your day sounds lovely and enjoy the haircut. maybe mr zj can make it up to you in another way??? and 32? you spring chicken!

beans, i would have LOVED to come tomorrow, but we are due to see el smuggo unfortunately. she has cancelled on us a gazillion times because she is so flaky, and i daren't do it to them. but i am always up for last minute arrangements!

although mustn't forget i'm having a baby sometime soon.

ZJ Happy birthday! Hope you have a lovely bit of peace and quiet. Would also be a bit ticked off with that DH behaviour, we'll all send virtual cards if that's any help?

went into nursery this morning to ask about behaviour, they said she is definitely in teh terrible 2s and it's worse since dd2 arrived, mostly seems to be attention seeking behaviour which is perfectly expected I guess with a new baby around. Though as we arrived, I heard someone shouting "ChildX, no! I said NO ChildX!" which in a schadenfreude kind of way made me feel better, especially when we went in and there were only 2 kids in the room! They said if things stay tricky, they'll think about different approaches to dealing with dd, which was encouraging - rather than just saying You must remove your child from the nursery.

Re dd2, the bizarrest part is that at night she sleeps for (shhhh) about 4 hours, wakes up for a feed and is super-snotty for an hour or so, then falls asleep for another 3 hours or so. This will end soon, no doubt! The BF drop in that my pal runs is on Monday so will seek advice on the falling asleep after 3 mins.

WG - do report back on El Smuggo - is her kid being a terrible toddler yet...?

JJ - I found when both DDs fell asleep mid nosh, which was regular, I used to flick their feet or cough loudly and it kind of jumpstarted them again!

Glad nursery sounds like a sensible place. Surely they're all too little to be removed from nursery??! So ideal for them to be dealing with any difficult behaviour.

We're off to music class thing for DD1 now. DD2 quite enjoys it too - half an hour of unadulterated watching her big sister dancing. Life couldn't get any better for her!

Thanks everyone, I've cheered up massively today. Sorry for being a whinger, I'm as bad as DD! Have had a good swim in a virtually empty pool and did an extra 10 lengths so feeling nice and energised. And as I have time to kill before the haircut I'm having to fill it with coffee and a tea cake. Yum yum

No sign of any twinges WG? I fancied a birthday pal and thought you could oblige?

Happy Birthday ZJ! Enjoy your peace.

Beans, tomorrow sounds lovely but we are meeting friends. However, the week after next is half term. I have both DDs, no work, no childcare and no DH all week (he's working away). If anyone fancies any kind of meet-up please, please let me know. Most of my local friends are going away for the hols so I would love company. Anyone???? Please!

Happy birthday ZJ, tell Mr ZJ he needs to earn his dashing title. Enjoy your day, the swim sounds lovely.

JJ your MIL is strange, what is she expecting at 2? Picasso? On the feeding that's quite normal, don't forget their tummies are quite tiny, though expanding fast, its about as big as a ping pong ball at the moment. That first bit of feed is her filling up on the fast flowing hydrating and protein rich milk, but it fills her up and well, exhausts her too so she has a little power nap then wants all the lipid rich milk that you have waiting for her. Just pop her back on the same boob to finish off then over to other if she wants more. I know its annoying but your doing fine and she will push through this bit. With your nips make sure she is getting a good gob full of your boob. Maybe get your latch look at when you go to the feeding group.

Also JJ poor DD1 it is quite tough for her with a new sister and as well as the upheaval of her arrival, she may actually be missing her when she is at nursery, but isn't aware of what the feeling is, she just feels a bit sad. I'm sure it will settle but it is hard for you both.

Oh WG cancel, I'm cringing at what 'wise words' el smuggo is going to impart to you, I'm sure she is probably lovely and well meaning but, well there is well meaning and just plain annoying and self congratulating. Hopefully she just makes you a nice cup of herbal vegan tea.

Oh Arti I think you need to book a holiday to the Netherlands.

Morning ladies

Happy Birthday Zoe, I really do think you need to buy YOURSELF something nice. Even if it's small. So, before that hair appt, indulge in a spot of internet shopping! And enjoy the peace.

Beans, have fun tomorrow.

WG - don't let El Smuggo fill your head up with her toxic, competitive-but-shrouded-in new-age-platitudes guff about the birth of your DC2.

Invis - oh no, sorry about the annoyance of the school. That is very galling. Do you know if there are figures for the average number of kids that don't take up their places? What's your Plan B? There's nothing precious and middle class about wanting your kid to go to the best school they can (within reason) and I get very irritated with people who are supercilious about this idea. I hope you work something out. Howard Jacobson was on Desert Island Discs this week, it was a good one. He was self-absorbed, unashamedly emotional but quite frank. I don't have a problem with any of those things and I liked him, but DP thought he was beyond the pale. Ha! Yes, non-fiction only occasionally packs the emotional punch that I need. Which sounds ridiculous but at bottom, I care more about how something is written than what is said. (Which probably quite neatly explains why my novel is on ice).

Rubes, you won't believe this but DP bought you a present yesterday! It is only a small thing and very practical and it came from the same shop as your DS's truck, but he bought one for me and also for you! I was stunned. You are truly honoured as he has certainly the capacity to be thoughtful, but perhaps only three times a year

Vag, take that cotton wool bud out of your DH's ear! I thought sticking things in the ear was strictly verboten!

Sorry about your DD's arm, Indith. Hope it clears up quickly.

JJ - your DD1 sounds like a normal 2 yr old to me. Of course she is reacting to the arrival of her sister. Try not to worry as it will definitely pass. Would she respond to a quiet chat and cuddles with you about it all? Mind you, at this age they're not all that aware about how they are acting. Hope DD2's feeding settles a bit but again I am sure it will. I bet it's really irritating when people say that. Sorry.

I need to moan about my sister. She gets a bit humphy if I say complimentary things about DD1's development (which I only say to my Mum and occasionally, her, and surely it's allowed to say that stuff to your FAMILY?) - I mean, the child didn't walk until she was 22 months! I say good things and the not so good things! It's like it's a competition, which is crazy as I have always adored my two nephews. They are clever but far more importantly, they are really NICE. Mind you, I think she has lots of issues around thinking I am Mum's favourite and my Mum makes more fuss of my two kids. To be honest, I do have a closer relationship with Mum but that's because (and I am going to be honest here) I am more tolerant and more tactful than my sister. Sigh.

I'll be in Egypt, Arti, (or probably, anyway ) Hope someone else can step up to the plate!

Well my continued Dr saga. Went for my app today (all good not going to pop my clogs any time soon) and asked about the conflicting advice thing.

He checked DS2 over and lo and behold because of family history and the length of time his cough has lasted he has prescribed an inhaler. He said if the inhaler makes his cough pretty much immediately better then it looks like asthma if it doesnt then it prob is a post viral cough. But that as a GP he would rather er on the side of caution. His eyebrows did nearly reach the ceiling when I told him the stuff the other GP had said including the masterful gem of BF beyond 6 month has no nutritional value. Hurrah for finally being listened to. It may just be a post viral cough but at least I have spoken to someone who did not treat me like an eejit. I am prob a GP's worst nightmare. Thanks again to JJ.

That's really good, Jam. Very pleased.

Oh, just to be update you all DD1 lost all interest in the potty after about 2 days. So no Potty Genius here It is totally fine by me. In fact, it is more than fine by me as I am very lazy and a bit selfish I s'pose and wasn't really psyched up for all that yet.

Crossed with you Lady, how funny is it a practical item for Rubes I can only wonder, a rape alarm, a travelling corkscrew for those emeregency wine situations?

Sorry your sis is being huffy, siblings are not my best area of expertise as invariably being one of four girls means that for the majority of the time we are rarely all in agreement and unfortuantly my mum is very blatent about favouring certain of us over others then changes her mind and slags us all off to each other. Not atall like your family. Mine are bonkers.

Art I would be up for a little half term sojourn into town. We have no plans maybe a midweek meet up at the London Aquarium I know SL was talking about going there.

Vag how is DS1 now?

Hello everyone. Hope all is well. JJ hope the feeding improves, no advice that can improve on veggies though!

LadyT totally with you on the annoying sister front. Mine is driving me nuts. She is totally self-absorbed - almost all our conversations will go like this:

Her: "Hello, it's me!"

Me: "Hello! How are you?"

Her: "Oh I'm a bit tired, kids woke up really early at 8am (GRRRRR).." - launches into some anecdote.

Never EVER asks how I am. Never asks about my job. Has never, to my knowledge, read a single thing that I have written (which is on the internet, you know, that free thing you have on your laptop..)

Who'd have 'em.

Jam, I would have liked more than one sibling. You are dead lucky. My Mum had nine sisters and that's a few too many but two or three would be great. I can't tell you what Rubes' present so as not to blow the surprise but it is small and hopefully useful

Kiwi, I am totally with you. My sister is almost identical to this. I can't recall her ever asking me how I am. Certainly no questions about work or any of that sort of stuff. I can totally live with this but I do resent her sort of implication that I am in some way lording it over her with my kids. I would NEVER do this and wouldn't have any grounds to do so anyway! I really, really love those boys (and privately always marvel that they have turned out to be such fantastic human beings when their parents are so narrow minded). Now, that IS bitchy of me, I realise.

Gosh, I hope DD1 and DD2 are closer.

Hee hee - I love this sister chat. I understand too. I get on with both my sisters ok, but the one nearer in age to me, much much better. The oldest one (who has the unfortunate husband) is lovely, but her children are, of course, the cleverest in the world (and probably are actually) and she has little or no interest in mine. Once actually told me I didn't go to a proper university - Bristol Poly that was. She went to Cambridge, so is vastly superior.

She is a solicitor and when I was a PA she asked me to pull a sickie to look after her daughter because she couldn't because she had a proper job. I hung up on her.

zj - as much as i appreciate your kind offer to share your birthday, no twinges at all, my love. and am locked in a battle of wills with dad's ladyfriend, who is convinced i am going to be early, while i would like a slightly late baby, please (but still in feb - for some reason a feb birthday appeals more than a march one, who knows why).

just had my friend who is going to be our doula round. we laughed at how far we've come in our lives... when we were 14 we were in a school play where we both fell in love with some of the boys and she stayed at our house after the cast party and we were recalling sobbing our hearts out in my bedroom that december a gazillion years ago. and here we are, facing sharing the experience of the impending birth of my second child. weird...

as an only i have a very rose tinted spectacles vision of what it must be like to have siblings - obv not what lady or kiwi have. sorry.

vag - i'm sure we'll get our el smuggo tea served to us in jam jars again. waste not want not, apparently (she wanted her wedding to be carbon neutral - and so had it in israel where 90% of the guests had to fly in). nuff said.

how nice of dp Lady! I am honoured! I love Jam's first guesses of what it might be what does that say about me us! Noice Jam!

DS is slightly better, and slept all night like a log but have been slightly odd this morning and lay down in the kitchen and various odd places like he's really tired. I think that's all it is. he didn't want to go to toddlers either

Kiwi - shame about your sister. I have some odd parents, but then if I remember rightly, so do you? Wouldn't you think my parent's would find the money for cheap standby tickets to fly and see their grandchildren who they maybe see once a year? My brother on the other hand is begging to either pay for us all to fly to his house after the wedding, or for me to let him come to visit us while we are in NZ as he is desperate to see the kids and us Words fail me.

Jam great news about the sensible GP. Hope the cough sorts out soon.

Bummer Arti/Avo - I will be away too... miles away otherwise would have loved to.

Beans - darn, we have swimming lessons all morning Sat's till 12 then dh off out and I am dropping him off but unfortuantely it would be mid afternoon at earliest before I would have been able to make it to yours. Bummer. I will let you know if anything changes.

Was just thinking about you WG (and mil) as I was cleaning the toaster tray

Right, ds has checked out the story in Balamory and has now gone to sleep (hopefully) so must run around and do all the things I can't get done when he is awake

Beans, I think your sister wins. That all sounds quite infuriating. It does make me think that if there are three children, there is a good chance that each sibling will get on with at least ONE of the others...Rubes, you are close to your brother and I think I remember SL saying she was as well. Maybe different sexes is good, I dunno. DP is close to his sister.

Anyway, must go!