October 08 - "I said no!"

[KSal]

it appears I posted the last post... so here's a new thread

Nightmare with Q today (see facebook). High temp that would not go down with meds. By time we got to dr, it was 39.7 and rising. It rose so much - you could just watch him become floppier as he sat on my lap and eyes rolling. Dr said he was close to having a febrile convulsion. he was shaking. THey took care of it there, thank god I was there, but very nervous. I think antibiotics are kicking in a bit now.

I'm home with him tomorrow for cuddles with the little guy.

it was a scary day.

cm called at around 10 to come get him and so glad she did!

KSal are you ok? Do you have anyone around to help? Agree with csws - tell us more about what is happening with the little guy.

Star - It's so scary when that happens isn't it and they start shaking. (Although - and you probably know this, but just to reassure you - apparently they very common and usually harmless) Do they know what's causing the high temperature?

KSal - Sorry you still feel so worn down. Agree with the others. Tell us more and maybe we can make some suggestions.

Star - very worrying when they start to go floppy. Glad you were with a Doc (eventually). Hope he is recovering today.

This is going to be long...
Everything is still so haphazard - i wonder how i ever managed to get Emma into such good sleep habits. I really can't remember and she was FF from 9 weeks so a different kettle of fish really.

so.. we get up and have a feed at 7am, then he pretty reliably goes back down for another sleep at 9am as he's pretty tired.

after that its all quite variable. sometimes 3 more short sleeps, sometimes a long one at lunch followed by a short one around 5.30/6 because he just cannot last until bedtime. yesterday he slept 12.15 to 3.45 and then he didn't sleep again until bedtime.

so i feed him roughly every 3 hours now (am trying not to do it any more frequently), but he still really snacks - i just can;t seem to get him to take any more in one go until bedtime when he seems to feed for an hour . I wonder if it is lack of distraction but that is hard to do during the day because of Emma.

I feed him 6.30pm then take him up at 8pm to feed and he goes down at about 9 in the end. I am trying avoid the cluster feeding, which seems crazy because he's nearly 19 weeks now.

then in the night he usually wakes up every 1-2 hours. I resettled him twice before feeding him at 11.30 last night. Last night DH brought him into the bed and he slept 1 til 5, so i think it is comfort more than food. I just feel so rubbish because i feel like we're going backwards. There was a time up to around 12 weeks when he would reliably go 4-5 hours then i would be able to feed and re-settle him. He's like a newborn again now. I guess i thought that once he got used the cot he would stay that way. I really don't want him sleeping in with us.

KSal -sorry you're having such a tough time. I have limited experience of BF but even with FF DD in particular needed quite a lot of an evening if she was going to get through the night. Can you express and DH to give him a late night bottle? So even if he does continue to wake evry couple of hours you'll have had a stretch of sleep?
We always gave a bottle at 10.30ish with all of ours even if they'd fed quite recently.
I'm afraid to confess we did use a dummy - that can provide the comfort.
Lastly, is he def warm enough at night? DD really feels the cold, not at all like the boys, and once we put a blanket over her grobag AND she was wearing a fleece babygro, she slept much better that first winter.
I hope any of that helps.
Have you thought of trying solids to tide him over? Seem to remember DS1 was 17 weeks when we started him, yet DS2 lasted till 6 months so they're all different.
It Does Get Better.

thanks pepperrabbit - unfortunately he won't take a bottle [sobs]. he would between weeks 6 and 9 then he just stopped. Its something i am going to work on (am waiting for some latex teats to arrive in the post)

Also he's in a sleeping bag and blanket already... now i wonder if he's too hot?

I have taken to putting him on his side as its the only way i can settle him for naps in the day.

I have thought about solids, but he just seems so young. Maybe this is because it was easier to get DD there with formula, i don't know, but she was 26 weeks when she started. I don't know how much more i will take before i give that a go, but i keep reading on other threads about how little difference it makes. arg.

The other thing that kept us going was always having a plan!
So maybe you could get him used to bottle during the day, give yourself a week,(daytime all seems less traumatic somehow), and use that as a step before you think about trying weaning.
I think you know when they are ready for weaning and you don't sound convinced.
As CSWS says, do you have something to do each day even if it's just a walk to the shops?

Will read later. I've gotten Q's temp down to 100.6 now no idea what that is in C. Thank goodness he seems to be responding to the antibiotics, though. I was looking forward to a nice day at home with Q and cuddles instead of work since he has to be home but dh got into an accident on his motorcycle on the way to work. I had to go collect him at the hospital and sort everything out with his work and bike...etc. Arghhh. He's alive - thank goodness but in a lot of pain and has co codemol to control the pain. There's a joint sticking out of the top of his shoulder. Apparently the ligament has become disconnected and may need an operation. Other than a few burns and scratches he's otherwise ok. Bike not too damaged surprisingly but his helmet looks awful. Thank god for the helmet. Hes a bit shaken as am I.
Will read thread later. Sorry for being selfish with my post.

Star, poor you, what a nightmare day. Glad to hear dh is home, but ouch to his injuries. You aren't having a great time of it right now....

Good to hear Q is responding to the ABs at least.

KSal, sorry to hear that things are so tough for you. Unfortunately I can't think of much constructive advice. Ds fed every 2 hrs or so, but I think he ended up in bed with us a lot, so I could doze through feeds . Hard to know what else to suggest. Time is the great solution, but doesn't help you much at the moment.

yeah, we get out most days for emma's benefit. She is at nursery a couple of days still - keeps us both sane

I have just bought a couple of different bottles to try and some dummies. Thing is i don;t want him to have dummies... on the other hand i want him to sleep.

having said that Emma didn't have a dummy and then started sucking her thumb at 18 months. As the americans say... go figure

Q had a dummy and I just threw them out at around 12 months. It was fine. He fussed a bit but nothing major. His routines were well eatablished with the help of the dummy so was worried all would go wrong once dummy was gone but it was fine. And teeth didn't suffer either. And he doesn't suck his thumb or anything now. Just my plug for the dummy.
We also didn't use it a lot. But def for sleep as he was a baby who liked to suck a lot.

I also don't know what else to suggest besides letting him sleep with you. If you don't want that, though that's understandable. I just don't have ideas. Others might!

Sounds tiring Ksal. I hope you find some sanity soon :(

Temp back to normal range as of 4pm and Q was wanting to play and run around again. Thank goodness for antibiotics (never thought I'd say that, pre-DS)!

DH will be home from work tomorrow as he's still in a lot of pain but taking strong pain meds... he only has use of one of his arms, and isn't quick on reflexes at the moment, so I won't be leaving Q alone with him tomorrow.

Looking at his helmet more closely... I can only say thank goodness for helmets. If what happened to his helmet had happened to his actual head... I can't even think about it.

He was quite dazed and jarred from it initially.

Be extra vigilant of bikers when you drive, everyone. I know I will be :(

Dh used to cycle as well when his job wasn't so far away. He would cycle about 7 miles into work then back but now it isn't nearly as close. It is frightening.

ooh interesting to hear about your stay and play myjob. I'm thinking of taking emma to one now she seems to be dropping her nap which means we can go out in the afternoon. she has been going to a lovely toddler group one morning and she loves that. sorry you're feeling so rough again. Totally fed up of winter bugs.

main reason i am not keen on dummy is being able to wean them off. I now have a selection but completely forgot last night.

i kind of know i just have to get through it, but need to know i'm not doing the wrong thing. I am just rubbish at going with the flow... i need progress! last night was marginally better as there was no full on screaming.

Star - you have been having a rough time. hope your dh recovers quickly

oh and seen csws on fb... think her nights are still considerably worse than mine :(

Are others dropping their naps? I can't see Q every dropping this one. He would seriously sleep all afternoon if we let him. If he has no nap, he's really groggy and tired and there are a lot of tears. He needs it, without a doubt. I tried 3 days with no nap because of various things we had on a few weeks ago... and it was a total nightmare. He was also up loads more in the night (overtired?)

KSal - I think its easier to wean off a dummy than thumb. DD STILL sucks her thumb at every opportunity and I can't take it away. But she would never take a dummy!

Star, I'm glad to hear Q is on the mend. Don't worry too much about naps - dd will still have one given the chance, but she now manages without one. The thing is to start to wean them off it in the year before they start at school as they obviously they don't have naptime at school. But she now manages without a nap on her days of ft pre-school, and on the half days has a little nap either before or after her afternoon activity.

Myjob, that sounds lovely for N (and you).

So, stupid mother of the day award surely has to go to me - I put the kids in the car to take Emily to school and we were nearly there when M announced 'Mummy, I'm not buckled in' . I can't believe I forgot to do that I thought I was over the tiredness but am now kicking myself. Luckily nothing happened, but still.... Of course Emily announced this loudly to her teachers when we arrived so I think I'm forever labelled as the 'bad parent'

Ds is still waking in the night, but since I got pg I have slept through it and poor dh is getting up to deal with him, even though he (dh) is working massively long days. Sadly, despite all the sleep, I am still not waking up feeling very rested, though nowhere near as tired as I was.

just a quickie.

no official naps here for months - just the odd doze in the car (which he needs with such crap nights).

ksal - have you tried swaddling? It really helped with J at various points. I have a woombie that should be the right size if you want to borrow it.
J took a dummy a handful of times during the day, but wouldn't entertain the idea at night.
Don't forget that he's in the middle of the classic 4 month growth spurt, so his behaviour is quite normal.
I really wouldn't try solids yet, unless he can sit up unaided and pick up food himself and has lost the tongue thrust reflex.

Eek for your dh's accident star. Very scary. Glad that he is largely ok.

had appt with consultant on monday btw, although saw reg rather than consultant himself, and it seems that they are going to make me stay in for a night following my op (which I still don't have a date for - is not clear whether the consultant did actually put me on the list like he said he would last time). No idea how we're going to manage that with J's feeds.

csws is there any way that maybe J could stay in with you? Could a nurse help with lifting him...etc or are they very understaffed already?

star she will still have one if take her up, but then when its proper bedtime, she chats and sings for a couple of hours before sleeping, so don't think she needs it any more. she refuses to sleep at nursery too.

csws i have had a go, but he just seems horrified by it. maybe because he had so much room in utero (polyhydramnios) he doesn't see it as comforting?! thanks for the offer though

A couple of hours? Wow. Q chats and sings for 15 minutes. Do you think there's something I should be checking for? He seems to need too much sleep. He's not a brilliant night sleeper but most of that is just because we're stuck sharing a room.