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FEB 2010 First birthdays beckon and toddlerdom approacheth...uh-oh!

998 replies

InmaculadaConcepcion · 06/01/2011 09:21

It's humbling to look back at the last year and see how our LO's have gone from helpless newborns to action-packed pre-toddlers.

BRING IT ON!!!

Smile
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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
StoneBaby · 27/01/2011 20:47

scone no we were having a muffin each but both sharing with DS! Don't worry we are gluttons too Grin

Bearcrumble · 27/01/2011 20:54

It's ok now. I told him how miserable I was not having any time with him. He works day and night in his office, 7 days a week. We do stuff like go for half-hour walks or to the supermarket together but I can't remember the last time we had a whole day, let alone two in a row just the three of us and no work.

He shouted at me and said I didn't care about his work, that I belittled it and stuff.

Then I purposely dropped and broke 2 plates of spaghetti and meatballs Blush

Then I cried and said I loved him and just missed being with him.

So we are going out for dinner on Tuesday night.

His parents are coming Sat-Tues morning. This may have something to do with today - also I was very tired and hadn't had any lunch and low blood-sugar sends me a bit mental.

I feel rubbish for poor DS seeing us row. I hate it. It doesn't happen a lot but this one was pretty explosive what with the plates and everything. I hated seeing my mum and dad argue so much. I feel like a failure as a parent. Even if it doesn't happen a lot, it shouldn't happen at all.

BabyGiraffes · 27/01/2011 21:02

bear don't be too hard on yourself! I have always thought it's better to do a bit of shouting and get things sorted than to have things festering for ages. The latter, I think, is worse for children because they may think they did something wrong and mummy and daddy are not speaking to each other because of them. If you have a row and shout, then make up, that's a little frightening but the making up makes it all okay again.
Not sure this makes sense... Big hug to you Smile

StoneBaby · 27/01/2011 21:08

bc big hugs. You are not a bad mum. As bg said it's better out than in. Smile

StoneBaby · 27/01/2011 21:09

Also as his parents are here for the weekend why don't you let them babysit and you and DH can escape for the evening (or night)?

LittlebearH · 28/01/2011 05:52

BC At least you are communicating. It is not as bad as you think. At least you will get some time together now. Just try not to break anymore crockery! Dont be too hard on yourself.

Scones My mum comes over to look after DD, so not too bad. Although DD comes crawling along to find me!

Waiting for my boss to pick me up (his turn to drive) DD woke at 4.25am. She is asleep now. I have been ready since 5.15am. Boss doesn't get here till 6am.

Roll on Saturday. Work sucks :(

StoneBaby · 28/01/2011 07:07

DS woke up at 5.15am, but went back to sleep after 15mn of whinging/crying until 6.30am.

Happy birthday mama girl! Smile

Stangirl · 28/01/2011 08:33

mamal Happy B'day to your LO!

InmaculadaConcepcion · 28/01/2011 08:44

Happy Birthday, mamaloco's DD2!!!

Have a wonderful day x

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InmaculadaConcepcion · 28/01/2011 08:49

Aw, Bc, my eyes filled when I read your post. Don't worry. These things happen. At least you made it up and hopefully, as SB said, you'll be able to take advantage of the GPs being over to have a bit of time together.

I stormed out during lunch the other day after DH chided me about something. It was an overreaction, of course - but when you've only had 4 and a half hours of sleep, it's easy to blow your fuse at tiny things.
Luckily DH is a fast mover when it comes to making up again, so it was a storm in a teacup. (Although no teacups were harmed during the incident).

DH and I are both inclined to be a bit bossy (oldest child in each case) while being equally bad at taking orders from anyone else (and inclined to interpret requests as orders) - this is almost always the root of our quarrels or bickering, when we have them.

I hope we can work out how to deal with the above as I don't want DD to inherit our sometimes bad-tempered reactions to what are often very reasonable requests....

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Stangirl · 28/01/2011 09:39

BC I had a doozy of a row with DP last night. He came back from being away for work for 2 days and I had a lot to tell him - mostly bad news. However I know that he hates being given information when he's tired which always puts me on edge about telling him things - so I drip feed it. To cut a long story short I end up fretting about how we are going to get everything on Saturday for DD's birthday party on Sunday at 10:30pm and he shouts at me that he can't believe I am telling him all this so late on and "didn't I have any good news". I exploded at him saying that they missed that point off of the Stepford Wives handbook and I'd try harder next time to make sure I only told him what he wanted to hear along with doing all the childcare, cooking him dinner, bearing all the stress of organising our lives and being pregnant. He can be a class A twat sometimes. Makes me glad I''l be back at work soon so he has to shoulder more of the organising duties. Grrrr......

BabyGiraffes · 28/01/2011 12:02

Mamaloco happy birthday to your LO!!!!(Was it Angelique?)

mamaloco · 28/01/2011 15:50

thanks all. I can't believe it is already a year. Now the hard work really start Blush.
You are right BG Smile

BabyGiraffes · 28/01/2011 16:11

Beautiful name mamaloco. Did she enjoy the apple tart?

PenguinArmy · 28/01/2011 16:28

Happy B'day to mamaloco's beautiful DD

BC I just wanted to add that you are of course NBU. I have work to do most evenings, go into work at least 1 weekend a months and often have work to do at home at the weekends.

This doesn't mean that I completely disjoin from the family. Far from it, we make an extra effort to do things together. i do most of my work while DD is asleep and when in at the weekends, they come in as well. So then I take long breaks throughout the day (again when DD is awake) to go for walks along the beach etc.

8-10 most nights, me and DH have two hours together. Then if needs me, I pick up work again when he goes to bed..

...or when I leave the bed. I had to take the morning after pill this week Blush. I can say a break from MN did us very well and I shall be disciplining my use accordingly.

BabyGiraffes · 28/01/2011 16:38

PA Grin on getting on well with your dh and Shock on getting on a little too well Wink. Hope you are ok.

Bearcrumble · 28/01/2011 17:30

Happy birthday to Mamaloco's DD2. Hope she had a lovely, lovely day.

Thank you all for your kind words. Today DH went down the cafe that has wireless this afternoon to work uninterrupted and hopefully get more done. I am hoping we'll have an hour together this evening. He got up at 5.45 to start work. I don't think I realised how much he has to do. I was kind of thinking he was internet timewasting as well as working and while there is a little bit of that it's not as much as I was thinking. Anyway he was very happy today because Skream namechecked him on Zane Lowe's show on Radio 1 last night. (Don't worry if those names mean nothing to you).

He said if I sort of pre-book time with him rather than trying to spring things on him then he will find the time. So I'm going to do that. We're going out Tuesday evening for a Japanese meal. We went once before, it's really nice - in the shadow of the Gherkin up in the city and on Mondays and Tuesdays if you book through Toptable it's 50% off.

It makes me feel better to know we aren't the only ones who row, but I'm sorry that some of you have been having a bit of discord as well.

DS ate really well this lunchtime. He had grilled polenta fingers with melted Red Leicester on top, 2 meatballs in pasta sauce (they didn't all end up on the floor) and two little hardboiled quails eggs and a plum.

PA You sound like you have things very well organised (well, most things!). Glad you have had time to be romantic.

SG Are you and DH made up now? Hope so.

SB Good plan, I may suggest it - have never left DS with anyone apart from my mum before but I guess it needs to happen.

LBH You must be knackered you poor thing. At least tomorrow is Saturday.

I ordered DS's birthday cake today. It's the curly wirly cake from Konditor and Cook - lovely gooey chocolate sponge with vanilla butter icing. Going to pick it up after swimming on the 14th as there's a branch near London Bridge for the party the next day. Just having 4 or 5 mums and babies over for lunch/fizzy wine/cake. Also I ordered his present This boy doll - www.blablakids.com/Online-Shopping/Classic-blablas/DOLL-Baby-Henri and clothes for him www.blablakids.com/Online-Shopping/Doll-Clothing/DOLL-Clothes-Set-Boy-2

Thanks again for the support yesterday, I was really miserable about the argument and losing control.

Right, time to get DS his tea.

PenguinArmy · 28/01/2011 18:25

BC That's good to hear. It's so easy to get wrapped up in work when there is a lot on (I've just had a review) to lose perspective and let time run away with you. Being orgainsed to key in times like this to keep track of priorities such as spending time with the family you're working hard for

LittlebearH · 28/01/2011 19:21

Mamaloco Happy birthday to your DD!

Hope you had a great day.

I am knackered. Will be in bed in an hour.

DP is off drinking watching football tomorrow, wont be home till Sunday morning when we pick him up. So just me and DD. I am a bit annoyed tbh. He sold it to me as going out for a few hours in the afternoon. He is going at noon.
He said he will do big shop with DD first thing in the morning to do housework give me time on my own.

Cant be bothered to moan about it. So am telling you guys.

InmaculadaConcepcion · 28/01/2011 20:20

mamaloco pix pix pix..!
Please!
Hope the apple tart was a huge success...

Hmm, think I'd be less than chuffed with that arrangement, LBH....

What a great idea to get your DS a boy doll, Bc!
Sounds like some date-scheduling and family-time scheduling needs to be worked into your DH's timetable. It's good you've been able to review the situation together and come up with some solutions. Very How To Talk... Smile

Grin at yours and DH's bumpsadaisy-oopsadaisy, PA!

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AbsB · 28/01/2011 20:28

Happy Birthday Mamaloco's LO! Looking forward to the pics.

oh BC I posted something yesterday but obviously my baby brain kicked in and it was still in 'preview' just now. Oops! Glad things are better now.

Stangirl (I wrote this yesterday) glad you liked the biscuit (I shared my pack of chocolate hobnobs with you even though you don't like dogs), and much happier to hear that you wouldn't let anyone be mean to any animal, that is good to hear... as sometimes I wonder if in Blighty we are still a nation of 'animal lovers'. Hmm

Sorry to hear about your visit to the GP and about your DD's weight. I really struggled with DD's weight at the beginning and I know how stressful it can be. I used to break out into a real sweat before her weigh-ins.

My DD slept from 7.30pm til 6am this morning (a first!). She has a cold so I raised her mattress and she slept really heavily. I took the monitor to bed with me which I don't usually do, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hear her if she had difficulty breathing. I went in a couple of times to check on her, but slept pretty well between 11pm and 5am so I almost feel human today. Smile

My DP and I are ttc this weekend as I am supposed to be ovulating... Hmm Grin Trying to muster up the energy... Wink

AbsB · 28/01/2011 20:31

Stangirl "Stepford Wives handbook" ha! ha! Grin Grin I might steal that for my next row with DP...

bethylou · 28/01/2011 21:35

Happy birthday to Mama's girl and glad to hear the day has gone well.

Good luck Abs. Did it take long last time round? We joke that, haveing tried for 7 months with DS1, we managed it the month before we even intended to try and with DH in the spare room. We'd been sleeping in separate rooms due to DS1 having had 6 months of reflux-related night coughing by then and yet I found out I was pregnant. Think DH is still very proud of that!!

Smile First time round waiting got rather tiresome as DH once came into the room, told me he'd put a pizza in the oven and we'd got 22 mintues.. Hmm

Hope the disagreements are resolved. Sleep deprivation and period pain combined make me really ratty at the mo. DH asked earlier whether or not he'd put two plates too close together in the dishwasher to be thoroughly washed. I only needed to say yes or no but got cross! Sad

Dogs? DM has 7, brother trains them and has a verutable pack of hounds. Personally, growing up with 5 in a smallish house was bloody irritating (as they were constantly in the way, hairy and prone to barking) and I wouldn't care if I never saw another one again. Just don't get it at all. Sorry Abs but I'm with Scones and Stan on this one! In fact, I can pretty much take or leave any animal really. I'm sure we'll have something at some point though if the boys show interest.

DS2 is poorly today-conjunctivitis, stinking cold and temperature of 38.4. Seems to be a little trooper though which is good news. Hoping he will sleep it off.

As for eating, both boys have gained weight here this month (despite DS2's trousers finally loosening a little with the walking)-must be toning up his sumo legsSmile. I totally get your concern about weight gain as I have the same problem with DS1. However, I don't think it is possible to forcefeed littlies so it's just a case of little and often, build in lots of what you know they will eat (DS1 has pasta about 3 times a week as it's a banker..) and try not to develop bad habits for the future. Don't get into rewards, praise for eating or show your concern or frustration or they will realise that it pushes your buttons and escalate it as they get older. It's so difficult for DH and I to follow these rules (as agreed with our HV) but it does generally seem to be working. A little lost weight here and there is not too much of a problem either, I gather it's more about trends over a longer period of time. However, I realise this is easier to type than to remember in reality. Easier the second time round too-I think the experience really has helped me (a fairly neurotic first-time mum) to gain a little perspective. Had to happen sometime!

Thanks for concealer tips too. Will invest in the next week or so. I have tried a number of those that work for you lot - perhaps my skin is a bit more translucent than some of you as I always look like I haven't slept in years!!

Off to do my pelvis exercises.

And welcome back PA and happy travels.

Sorry to those I have forgotten.

bethylou · 28/01/2011 21:39

I really can spell-should try to type earlier in the evening when my fingers go in the right order or at least reread before posting, not after! 'Having' etc..

ChestnutSoup · 29/01/2011 08:30

Happy birthday for yesterday Angelique! Hope you had a nice day mamaloco.