Dec 2008 - Hello 2011 the Year of the Toddler!

[DeidreBarlow]

Totally unispired but hope you all find it...

Thoughts prayers and white lights for a friend of mine who was pregnant with a much wanted baby (has been trying for several years). Sadly, the babies heart stopped at 27 weeks and she has had to deliver her beautiful sleeping boy. So sad. I feel so far away from her.

Please can I have Spot?s address Effie? Spot, if you get chance to read, the main thing is to look after yourself so you can look after your boys, you don't need to pile the pressure on yourself. How are you doing? I remember you struggled a bit in yourself after T was born and I hope you?re doing ok now, and getting that well deserved sleep.

I love it that Mr Rubes was mis-sold a wife, but has gained a lumberjack

I am in awe of all of you who are brave enough to attempt a big bed. Fortunately DD is quite small so I think we can keep her in her cot until she is 8 or 9 (hopefully), which is also about the time I plan to potty train her [terrified emoticon, of both]

Hi Jolly, what a pain about that negative consultant, sending some positive vibes your way (although you sound like you?re doing fine on that front). Are you suffering with sickness this time round?

Deids my thoughts are with your poor Nan, despite having never met her I think she is an amazing lady and I am really hoping for the best for her

I aspire to be a matching underwear kind of lady, and I do have 3 or 4 sets, but then make my bras last several days and do the mix and match pants thing. In recent years I?ve started getting DH to treat me to a properly fitted and matching set for Christmas each year (but only if I choose and buy it, none of that scratchy stuff ) and I went to pick up this years set today (of course, I look just like this in it).

Jam I am so cross on behalf of your friend, as if she doesn?t have enough to cope with. And other DCs too, I hope they are giving her plenty of cuddles

Kiwi I?d go with keeping DD with her friend any day of the week, as if 10 days is going to make any difference when she has the whole of her life to learn. That said, I am terrified of DD going up to the big room and have asked them to delay it as long as possible, so any reason to me is a good reason

Good luck to Avo girl for school tomorrow. Is the nursery she was at attached to the school? She?s such a lovely girl, I?m sure she?ll have a big bunch of friends by the time the register has been called

Oh good god, I can?t believe O knows her alphabet and tries to write letters and numbers, she really is super genius! DD can only count to 3 (but can count backwards from 10, just like the end of Show Me Show Me).

Back to work today, and a day of dividing up the work with my new job sharer, who is back from maternity leave. It seems really weird that it was over a year ago now that I was stressing about DD at nursery and not remembering how to get dressed for an office in the morning

Cross posted Veg, that is heart breaking news about your friend. Lots of white light coming from Yorkshire

Moltex okos Urbs, I was trying to remember what we used because they didn't leak and that was them. We could use non disposables overnight as DS1 wet heaps because he drank so much cows milk before bed and they were great.

Spot, so good to hear from you, you poor old sausage. Hoping things improve for you soon. Maybe more of the bf-experienced ladies can advise but heavens, I'm crossing everything for a bit more sleep for you soon.

Vag, that sounds good about the house. Having done what we've done, I think enjoying life is much better than house renovating

Rubes, did we talk about golf the other day? Or did I dream it? Thanks for the info on Yasmin, I was getting really excited that it might be a magic bullet and in the deep recesses of my mind I think it is recommended for ladies with polycystic ovaries. then I realised I am probably too old and fat to take it. Don't think the Pill is recommended for overweight over 35s You sound like you are doing really well with the PS3, I only had a short walk today. I think we are going to go with the two weeks in Egypt and so I only have about 6 wks to transform myself from lardarse to ladytastic. So are your folks flooded? Oh no, hope not. Like I said the other day, my Australian geography is so poor, I need to oomph it up. So you are deffo going to take up cycling? Wow! Yes, and loving yesterday's epic, 10/10

NJAN, on the subject of doing things with other halves, I have very few shared interests with DP (er....eating out? Champagne?) but if we had more money we'd go on holiday together more often. I think that really helps a relationship along. But obviously it is expensive. I stopped doing the Take a Break competitions as I got disheartened that we NEVER EVER won but I might have to reinstate them We did start to play badminton together so killing the hobbies/fitness birds with one stone, but as we are both quite competitive with such things we had to can it...

Sybs, didn't mean to cause confusion about Thurs. It would have been tricky for me anyway. Clapham Junction is totally fine for me if I don't have the smalls. Frankly, without them I wouldn't rule out any district of Greater London! I think the idea of having a London evening meet up without kids AND a daytime one with, on two separate occasions, is deffo the way to go. I might start a thread in the next week or two if I find some mental energy, all mine has ebbed away with the power cut, I think...

I don't watch Gray's Anatomy. I used to love my American dramas but I don't seem to have the time these days. I have the first few series of Mad Men which I am dying to watch, but haven't watched one yet (though I did see most of series one on the box).

Oh Spot poor you. The feeding sounds like a worse version of when I had dd. You might remember I did the same thing and broke down at the Health Visitors office. She thought I was sad to give up BF but really It was tears of joy that she was telling me it was ok and probably better for us both (and tears of exhaustion) I also give you full permission. It will seem so brighter soon. I hope you are sound asleep.

Cross posted with tons there, Vag, I am sorry for your friend. Gosh, what awful things happen.

Sorry, I had Spot's address (sorry Spot) so could have dished it out. My head is like an overcooked pie.

I like your idea of asking for a matching set of lingerie every Christmas, ZJ. I might borrow that idea. As for O, I promise she is not some hideous hothouse flower or budding Ruth Wotzername. I taught her the ABC song about three months ago and she has gone on from there, and recognising the letters is no more spectacular than pointing out a dog or a giraffe, really. What I do need to do is more 'craft' type stuff with her (which I suspect other kids might do at nursery and which I think she would enjoy). She did tell me she had done a 'Number Poo' this afternoon though. Oddly it was just a poo It is something she is only just starting to catch on with, and only now and then, and only after the event. I am dreading potty training as I am a Very Lazy Person. I won't be pushing it, put it that way...

Lady x-ed yes we talked about Golf - I'd like to take it up in real life. it's fun on the PS3 but I'm taking it easy due to my shoulder. The SportsActive - well I've only done workout2 and today was my rest day apparently (my trainer said) I could have kissed the screen! I feel like I didn't really put in proper effort but I'm really aching today so I must be pretty darn unfit. We'll see how long this fad lasts for me!
Egypt sounds lovely - never been myself. I'd love for you and fam to come to Aust too but we've been toying with the idea of going via San Diego and this has altered all the internal dates etc. Not sure if we definitely will - that's the trouble with Standby it's good and bad meaning you can decide on stuff last minute which would be a nightmare for you guys. Now dh is saying he can get another day off of leave so we may leave slightly earlier. That reminds me, I was going to do the passport stuff tonight arrrrgh! Sainsbury's order and Greys took up my entire evening.
oh yes Avo - it's started again - tonight. I love it! bummer can you watch it on iplayer? Good luck with dd1
JJ glad you got the nappies sorted. at the radiator pj's!! dh would def approve. He's all about the sterilness of wee and cleanliness of a dogs mouth and wot not
Anyway, wonder if I should quickly do the passports now.... better go.

Right, Rubes, that's golf and ski-ing we can do then

I filled in DD2's passport form tonight but I suspect it is a bigger process for you. As to Aust, I think we would all have ended up gibbering idiots with two 2 yr olds and two babies in tow Besides, this hol to Egypt is going to be a super cheapy. Luxor last year was really lovely and interesting, with the Valley of the Kings and all that, but this one is going to be a mindless relaxation hol, of a kind I used to think I would never take. Anyway, my eyes are stinging, need to go to bed.

Extra love to Spot and family.

Very quickly - good luck to mini Avo for this morning. DD1 went this time last year and did not look back as she walked through the door. I managed not to cry until I was round the corner. Tis fine to have a little weep if they don't see it. Take care.

Vag, I am so sorry about your friend. Lots of prayers and good thoughts coming her way.

Right, must get up and sort out the punters. Back later. It's DD2's first morning at nursery today too, but I am staying with her. HUrray!

Spot my love if it's not working for you do what is. Don't beat yourself up you have a beautiful bouncing no name baby.

Oh Vag how awful. Lots of love to your friend.

Sorry Spot - totally agree with everyeone else about the feeding. GO with what works for you both. Don't stick with the BF if it is making you both sore and unhappy. Just enjoy that lovely boy. Lots of love XXX

Spot: Vag is right, you need to give yourself permission to stop if it isn't working out. Please don't feel you have to struggle through if that isn't what you want.

spot Oh my love. I can only reiterate what every wise lady on here has already said. The most important thing to that little baby isa happy and healthy mummy. If that means FF and sleep, then so be it. I hope some sleep helps you to feel better about things.

vag Prayers for friend and her darling baby. How awful for them.

jam & vag I hear ya and dodgy bodies. I resemble a smaller version of the Michelin man at the mo . IthinkI have lost about 5Ib this week but I suspect most of that is simply because I stopped gorging since Xmas. Tonight i am going for my first run in about 6 weeks...wish me luck!

Potty training. I imagine DS will be about 16! Actually I am getting terribly worried about DS lack of speech. Some words are fine but they are very limited, most of the time he babbles incoherently (obv he knows what he is saying). HV is coming onmonday morning for his 2 yr check and I am dreading it!

lady No idea where in Sri Lanka they are going, but I do know the first week they are going on a safari there, and then to the beach. I am beyond

sybs hope DD2 enjoys nursery. DS is at his first playgroup session, although he will be left yikes.

Vag so sorry I missed your post. I was wondering what everyone was saying. How sad for your friend. Too many of these stories recently hope things turn around for her soon and she gets pg again with a healthy one very fast.

Lady - yeah lets do a quick hop to NY instead some time, with plenty of shopping, cheerful and upper-class-ness!
Oh actually I have just pulled out her passport paperwork. Thing is I'm trying to do them all at once and with the Aus one you have to apply for Cit first which is doing my head in. As is the countersign part. You'd think DH would be slightly helpful, but he says yeah yeah and then always forgets, or gets weird about it etc, and wants to make sure he's know the person 2 years which is sometimes hard at the new job when he's only been there a few months. Otherwise it's a trip out to Buckinghamshire or London but I'm pretty sure our London friend who could do it doesn't have a passport
I'll get the UK one underway this week anyway, just incase I don't get around to the Aust one but hopefully I will.
Oh stinky nappy gotta go

Vag So sorry to hear about your friend.

Spot Thanks for checking in with us and sorry things are so tough (though not at all surprising given that you're coping with a newborn and toddler!). I hope that your new plan for feeding works out better for all of you - you can only do what you can and it's a matter of getting through the days at this early stage!

Urbane I'm so sorry about your M/C.

Laughing at all of the chat about undie drawers and matching sets. Gok would not be impressed with mine. About 1000 pairs of black cotton Primarks that don't even fit and maybe 4 nasty 4 year old bras. I haven't even invested in any maternity bras and I really need to be my boobs are busting out and my ribs end up covered in red lines and dents by the end of the day from too tight bras. I really need to sort that don't I??

Lady, Rubes and others....v jealous of your holiday chat especially to warm climes. We always end up going to Canada for our hols, and not to the nice bits but to our families and their suburban houses.

Speaking of Canada....thank you SO MUCH for all your input into our moving stresses. So funny how perceptive people can be over the interweb. Aub and others, you're right when you say that the Canada case looks better in theory but that we're probably happier here. The main problem for me is how do you weigh up intangible of more time with the family with more selfish pursuits like career? My mum is now 5 years cancer-free but I am so conscious that life is short and wonder if I'm crazy not to rearrange my life to spend every minute with her. Those who have lost parents, I wonder what you think? The funny thing is that we might actually see more of them because we live overseas - when we visit it is for concentrated periods where we live in the same house, they know DS's routine top to bottom, etc (we were there for 5 weeks in the summer, they were here for 3 weeks in Nov, they're coming back for 3 weeks in March, etc.). It's just that months go by in between those big visits. I wonder if we lived in the same city whether we would just see them for a few hours here and there. Arghhh....I don't know what is best. I know that my GPs house was like a second home for me growing up and it does seem weird that it might not be like that for DS.

at Lady's DD knowing the alphabet and recognising letters. She is going to run the world.

[lazy emoticon] about both moving DS to a bed and to potty training. All being postponed to a distant time in the future when I have the energy to face it (i.e. maybe never). I have put DS back in cloth nappies on his days at home and overnight to see if that will help him get the feeling of being wet, but he still happily sits in a sopping wet nappy for hours without showing any indication of wanting to be changed. Could be a long road for us!

Hello Mom - gosh your situation sounds like mine except the job thing it's dh in our case that has to be where the work is best for him. I can obviously do my job anywhere, but it's kind of irrelavent anyway.
I totally agree with you regarding seeing the family. My parent's come here once a year on average - well they used to come once a year but not sure now - they are a bit spoilt and haven't paid full fare for a ticket for the past 11 years and mostly have flown business class, so it's really starting to irritate me when I notice they don't visit as much since last year they had to pay a very small service charge now that I am part time as I get allocated less freebie's - anyway I digress..... Whe they do visit they are at our house about a month usually and when I go there well it's usually 2 weeks so although they argue that they would see me more if we lived in Australia, I beg to differ.
it's a moot point really as DH is best here for right now, although the potential for a 12 month stint in Australia is coming up in 2012. My only concern is would I not want to leave after 12 months there, and the disruption to the kids and dog etc, but it also would be before ds starts school. Anyway, I'm chatting about me now, but I just wanted to say that I totally understand what you are going through, but don't do anything until you are 100% certain even if it means several more extended trips to "see" etc especially with another little on the way.....
Right must go finish text arguing with dh about why he is so unhelpful with these passport countersignery situations

Oh Rubes, wish I could help but I'm a teeny bit too far away and I'm not registered anymore, though I do have a passport. Speaking if registration I'm going to see if I can register I wouldn't mind popping over to UK every couple of months to do a couple of shifts catch up with friends and keep my skills up. Will see if they'll give it back to me.

Thanks for your kind words for my friend, it just breaks my heart. Also makes me realise how lucky I am. My other friend who delivered at 28 weeks is ok her baby is in air now, but still will be in nicu for several more weeks. She is a nurse also and is having trouble being on the other side of the fence at the moment. We nurses make terrible patients.

Lady where did you find your Egypt deal, DH is making noises about taking DS1 out of school for a week and getting some sun. Egypt seems the best choice.

Went to the gym this morning, I am so incredibly unfit! It's going to be a long old road. Right I need more coffee.

Well have decided against Egypt and decided instead to have a short break here in NL. There is a centerparcs down in Zeeland near the Delta project. I've been wanting to see the delta project and centerparcs has all that indoor pool stuff which will do the trick nicely. Trace I am definitely coming around to your close to home approach to hols.

Will just let you all know that from now on I will sticking my fingers in my ears when any of you bring up toilet training. I'm not very competitive but I am hell bent on winning the prize for the child that takes the longest to start using the loo, I will win oh yes I will win it.

I don't know, Vag. Don't count out my DS. The other day he was still refusing to let me change his cloth night nappy at 8:30 AM, so that is 14 hours of wee-soaked cloth against his skin and he still wasn't bothered. He may well take the prize!

I'm not sure how I'm going to potty train DS. With DD I had to resort to bribery with chocolate buttons but DS can take them or leave them. He definitely takes after his dad who can leave half eaten chocolate bars and drink just one glass of wine and leave the rest to go bad. Obviously, I don't know about DS and the wine yet, but you get my drift.

I managed to lose the long (for me) post I had written due to dodgy internet connection. I may try again later.

Vag and Mom step aside. We have the non-talking and total nappy change meltdown man here. I'm pretty sure I've got the trophy here ladies. he's getting worse with the nappies and just bolts when there's any mention of it. Then it's screaming, wrestling, kicking. We used to give milk but even that has stopped working every time. How do you manage it Mom? It's giving me major anxiety just leading up to one! How on earth am I going to get him to use the toilet and then wipe his bum!

Thanks Vag that's nice of you. I think I have solved it as LordG has kindly offered so I am shipping the photo there asap. DH had sorted someone in the end but it's all a bit messy as it means taking the kids into the hospital just so this guy would have seen dd at least once. Luckily LordG has!

Right Sainsbo's coming early which is great as I can nip out to the post office when ds wakes. Then I have a quick doc appt.

Oh must go there is one stinky baby next to me who is a pleasure to change (now at least !)

Same here re: nightmare nappy changes Rubes. I sometimes give him a marshmallow or other sweet when I can't face the battle. For a while we had the Pampers Pull Ups and they were sooooo much easier, but then he got a rash from Pampers and I kind of went off them. But you could try pull ups to see if that might help you? Just make sure you don't buy the kind that are for potty training because they aren't as absorbent - Pampers has pull ups that are as absorbent as their normal Baby Dry or whatever. We even used them overnight and DS is a very heavy wetter. They had Bob the Builder on them and DS loved them. The only other thing with pull ups is that you have be a bit careful when removing one with poop - you have to tear open the sides (easy) rather than sliding off for reasons I'm sure you can imagine (smear...uck).

I am pleased to hear the I'm not the only one with a nightmare to change nappies, I dread poos when DH is away as it's much easier with 2 people to pin her down. Last week I remembered a trick recommended by NJAN (I think), to sit down with legs either side of the little one and use your legs to pin down their arms. She's bigger and stronger than last time I tried it, but it was reasonably successful.

Not quite the same circumstances as mom and rubes, but I agree about spending more time with family the further away they are. Since my parents moved last year, now 2 hours away, we make arrangements to see each other every couple of weeks and make a day of it, whereas previously it was just a flying visit in passing, except we never did just pass as we were always going somewhere else and didn't have time to stop.

Avo did A enjoy school? She looked adorable

Mom thanks but yes we tried pull ups ages ago and he was much happier initially but the problem is he won't actually let you get near him to take it off! He's pretty bad with getting dressed as well so the pull ups don't make a great deal of difference but they are slightly better. I've tried the pinning thing too ZJ but it's catching him first! We currently use that method for teeth brushing though and lately I've been pinning him for nappy changes and while he's screaming anyway, I carry on and scrub his teeth if I'm in the bathroom nightmare all round.
he has a lovely black eye tonight. he was tickling dd then slipped off the couch somehow and hit the corner of the coffee table on the way down. Not pretty. But he went on to eat a mahoosive dinner so can't be too bad.

Lady, I managed to get to the Post office this afternoon so the forms are on their way. Thank you so much and thank dp for me.
I will FB you with what he needs to do but it's pretty obvious -

must go chaos here