FESH Spa & Creche - The Messiah is late - 'e's a very naughty boy!

[AlpinePony]

2010 - the best year of my life, for half of it I was pregnant and for the other half had my baybee.

boxy I need that sort of arrangement. Was feeling veh low today seeing everyone going out riding.... . Then another livery asked if I was alright. The waterworks started. Took me by surprise that I did. Guess having emotional morning and missing my time with my nag.

Then to make matters a bit worse HI called to tell me I'd missed MBs first full on head back chuckle. Three times no less. Typical.

Last night was in bed just gone ten and can feel the same again tonight. MB woke at 2ish but fed for ages and then he woke about 330/4 grumbling so checked him and stuck on the White noise and he didn't wake again til 7. So that was good. I don't think he's always hungry when he wakes.

In the process of giving MB his top up aka Dream feed and he's very tired. Got piggy eyes and keeps nodding off. He's usually in bed by now but we had our dinner before doing his bedtime stuff. He's only about 15-20mins later than normal.

I'm shAttered. Again. Does it get any easier?

Of course silv but there are always good times and not so good ones. We're in a good one now because of protein based teas but who knows how long it will last. It's normal to be shattered but you must have some me time to break up the mundanity. And see people, you must have human contact. Don't know if you are up for travel but the FESHies are gathering at mine on 25th jan and you'd be welcome. Is easy to get to, all motorway and A3 from your neck of the woods. It may be good for the soul?

I;d like to echo what cunty wisely says silver. Do see people. Do anything you can that is "normal" for you. I know you are finding that bit tough. Maybe the hoss stuff will be easier as the days get longer and spring gets nearer? I know that's a while off, but it's always good to have something to look forward to.

Sleep and food wise - yes, it gets better. But for us it very definitely got worse again for a bit, and felt like a kick in the teeth. But it's better again now. It won't be long until you are looking back on it with rose-tinted specs. Noone can say when, but it will happen.

I have two hook ups with friends planned in the next week or so and am very excited. One has a boy the same age as silv and moo 's lads. Should be an interesting lunch. I am hoping Squeaks will share mine.

Today she had no interest in sweet, pureed food a lunch, and then gobbled all the savoury, lumpy bits of pasta offered for tea! Pasta saved from carbonara went down a treat.

Hope LG feels better soon boxy.

Today we started a big clothing clearout - mine and Squeak's. Been packaging baby girl items up for a friend of a friend, keeping neutrals for ourselves for the second child we hope to one day have (mind you, might have to win the lottery first). And my maternity wear is all being banished. I was still wearing a pair of mat jeans earlier this week. But with my new pair of sz 12s, and miraculously being able to get into two pairs of supposed size 10s that had been in the loft (probably massively stretched from wearing as my arse and thighs expanded), I have decided there is no need for preggo clothes. I bet I miss those lovely comfy waists though.

I'm cheered though, because I found loads of summer stuff that I should be able to wear on holiday in June. So there's fewer pounds I'll have to spend on that.

Right, rambling now. I get like this when SFF is on nights and I have noone to chat to other than the dog!

I have felt a bit slow all day due to wine and late night with the moo family but it was a very nice civilised night

Speaking of clothes fitting, I was gloating in the car yesterday to Mr C about fitting into a pair of pre pregnancy cords only to rip the arse out of them as I got out of the car. He laughed. I had to drive home to change as there was no hiding it, it was a massive tear.

Ooh curly well done you on the weight loss. I have an entire wardrobe of stuff I wish I could wear... is very annoying, but motivating and am going to try and get out to buggyfit on the common soon I think. I still look like I have buoyancy aids stuck to my middle.

okie you little minx, did we really have over 4 bottles of wine? Blooming heck. That was quite a sedate evening compared to the pre preggo antics of me and mr moo. Normally we'd have probably helped you polish off the brandy and then some. Thank god for you putting the baby car seat in the taxi . Bad news on the cords. I hope no one saw. Oh well, more excuses for brand new clothes hey.

We have had a lovely day. Babymoo woke at 0420 and 0630 and then fell back to sleep til 0830 when we all got up. Then Mr Moo took him out for nearly 2 hours whilst I snored my head off with the dog in bed. He was a wee angel in the afternoon playing on his playmat whilst I read the papers. Are you allowed to do that? I weirdly feel guilty if I'm not 'interacting' with him at all times. Twat I know. I also managed to watch Eastenders.... and then we had lovely bedtime and bath and massage and then he went to sleep! Ahhhh. I pray for the night ahead being not too bad. Maybe it was all the wine in his system .

silverino get thee down the A3 on the 25th! It's not that far - go on, go on, go on!

Right off to express my boobies. Bye.

Was MrC there okie? Sff would not let that sort of thing lie I've never told him about the time that happened to me at work and I had to walk around with a jumper tied around my waist, very low slung, refusing to bend over or walk up stairs in front of anyone.

Today I did several lunges and expected the worst.

x-posts moo. I have a deflated life belt or three around my belly, and a pair of teeny, tiny empty sacks where my lovely, full, pregnant and post birth breasts were. In fact, tum sticks out further than tits. Am officially flat chested again.

Any tips for tightening up loose skin? Anyone?????

Your day sounds very restful. And it does not harm the child to be left to learn to play independently. Sometimes Squeaks is perfectly happy by herself and if we come into the equation she just whinges - because we can pick her up, hold her hands while she walks etc. The way I see is if I keep helping her move, she'll never do it alone. Little bugger hasn't rolled once since last week, but gets all upset when she can't reach something even though she could get it if she tried.

Sorry to hear of the wardrobe malfunction Okie

It does get better Silv - I promise....and then the crazy idea of having another kicks in and before you know it you're 38 weeks, beached on the sofa wondering what the fuck you were thinking

As others have said get oot that hoose. Really. Babies are so much more manageable when you're both destracted & doing interesting/fun stuff. Hook up with your NCT girls at least once a week....chances are one of them will need the company too.

I am sooo lucky to have Boxy just round the corner - meant I was able to get on the horse at least twice a week during last mat leave and was marvellous for my sanity.

Oh, and there will be many, many more milestones (first tooth/roll/crawl/taste of food/steps/word etc. etc.) that HI will miss so don't be too disappointed that you missed that little chuckle. Try tickling him - proper, firm in the ribs tickles....that usually gets some right good guffaws.

Congrats on getting into pre-baby clothes Curls - that is blimmin' excellent. Never managed it myself but will try again once this one pops out

I'm making Hom save up for my surgery after we've paid for the windows. That'll get rid of my tum, which currently looks like bread dough :-(

Yes gasp mr C was there. In my defence the trousers were old but he just saw it as me still being lardy - it wouldn't have been so bad but for the gloating minutes earlier.

My doctor reckons 15 sit ups twice a day for 2 months will shift the jelly belly. I managed some on Wednesday but not since.

Silv things get easier, although they will never be as easy as they were pre-kids. Having said that, there are more moments of complete joy, hilarity, and general soppiness that you just don't get without children. Last night cluck and I tucked our daughters up in bed in Tt's bedroom, and Clucky stood outside the door earwigging. Her daughter whispered 'night-night, TT,' and TT whispered back 'Shhh! I'm trying to sleep!' Bless.

Have you sat down and had a really good talk with HI? You need to be able to have a little bit of time to yourself each week for your own sanity. This may mean you only get to ride once a week, but that once a week is vital. OH didn't really 'get' it when I had TT, and I tried carrying on as I did before with big horse, only trailing a baby with me everywhere. Then it struck me that OH didn't have to try and think how to play cricket with a baby in tow, so why should I have to go to horse shows with a baby and try and make it work? Major low point was when I went show jumping without a babysitter because my good friend and instructor was going too, and we had a head on collision on our horses and both fell off. Comedy moment in hindsight, but a bit of a mess still. So OH understands the sacrifices I have made to provide him with 2 lovely children And he is happy to only play three quarters of the cricket this summer if I am happy with going to horse shows in the other weekends. And he realises there is a need to prepare the horse too. I would say I get a couple of hours during the week, and about 5 hours on a weekend to indulge in horsey stuff. And chicken stuff! (BTW OH gobsmacked me last night by encouraging me to get back into Christmas turkey keeping. I like my turkeys, and they taste better than anything you can buy in the shops, but OH vetoed them this year on the grounds that I would be busy giving birth while they were chicks. He was right!)

Anyway, before you know it, Silv you will have z successfully brainwashed child who will be telling daddy they NEED to join the pony Club, and you will be able to make him spend his spare time doing horsey stuff 'for the good of his child.' :o

Ps LG reckons antibiotics don't taste nearly as crap as Calpol.

PPS OH is currently checking out the Caribbean on his laptop. Woo- hoo!

Ok, I might be going on a bit about this he, but I do feel quite strongly about it. Silv doesn't HI work shifts? Or have I got that wrong? At the moment my weekday horse stuff is done only on mornings when OH goes to work later. So I get up and ride before he goes to work. This only happens once a week ATM, but the mornings will get a little lighter soon and I will be up twice a week at 6.30 am to ride, and then I'll drop TT off at pre-school, then LG and I will go back to bed. :o There are many ways to get the odd hour here or there. Does your yard have a school? I used to ride big horse in the school when TT was a baby and he was at livery when TT was sleeping. It meant sometime hanging around for hours till she went to sleep and then rushing to tack big horse up, but I rode quite often then. TT slept in her pram beside the school.

Thank you again for all the ESH support. Brilliant words of advice that are sinking into my frazzled brain! Tho not so frazzled as MB slept thru til 330!! OMG - amayzing!!! Then slept til 7!!! I however was still awake at 430 as couldn't sleep.

Put MB on the bed and watched as he rolled on to his side and thought it won't be long til he rolls onto his tum. I did rescue him as he wasn't getting any further and as I picked him up there was a big pool of drool on the sheet. Like I need more laundry!!!

NCT girls meet once a week which is a must. Last week I had something on everyday and this week only NCT which has left me a bit lost. My own fault I should be on the ball a bit more and plan forward.

Re: Hoss. HI is always working. Works long days. If he is not officially at work on a Sunday then he'll spend the day at home and on that day I can ride (feels like being given permission which I resent) and he will
come with and do the stable whilst I get nag ready as saves tons of time. I am not the quickest so it does help. That's not to say I couldn't get it all done super quick if need be but HI is always working and it's fitting in MBs feeds. Eg if MB feeds about 6 for 30mins then HI needs to leave by 830 and it's 20mins to yard and I'll never get there and back in time to do everything. S'pose I could ride in the
morning and then do the muck out etc when I go back in the afternoon. As you say, he doesn't have the experience of having to do what he does with a small child in tow. Half the problem is HIs hobby is working...... I will have a chat about it with him as I need to pick my moment as he is dead grumpy at the mo cos he is feeling "unloved" . I did ask MIL if she was interested in having MB one weekend morning regularly so I could ride. No response. Tho yday she offered to come with me and sit in the car with MB whilst he sleeps....... Hoss is so unfit and I can't see me being able to get nag fit if I can't ride more regularly, or me for that matter. I did want to do one training thing in the spring which is a whole weekend. Can't see that happening or how that would be fair on the hoss.

Right - 25th you say?? Well quelle surprise I am freeeeeee!!!! I have no ishoos with driving to Tuesday land!!! MB will snooze and I will make ask HI to be on hoss duty so I don't have to clock watch and leave. Not saying I won't ever leave! Just that I have to be back for a certain time and it's a right PITA occasionally!!

I am not even going to talk about clothes. So there.

Silv didn't HI encourage you to keep doing Hoss all by yourself? Have a proper talk to him and ask him when you are supposed to do this. It really would be easier if you could have help and just swan in every now and again to ride occassionally. AFAIK ma Jennie is outside in the rain atm doing my horses for me and hopefully riding little horse (but possibly not. Is pissing it down here! Can't blame her if she doesn't.) I didn't find her until 2009, when TT was 2, and I had been looking hard for a decent helper for well over a year and gone through a couple of dozy ones. They are out there, but they are hard to find. If a sharer/helper is not working out don't be afraid to give them a polite heave-ho. Tis your horse after all. Then get on with finding another one.

Anyway, one way is to get quicker with hoss. If you have to feed MB for 30 mins at 6, you can be up and dressed then, feed him, out at 6.30, at yard by 6.50. Give hoss tiny handful of breakfast to eat while you muck out and tack up, on by 7.10. 40 minute ride - off at 7.50. Turn out and get out feeds, do water and haynets, leave yard at 8.05, back with 5 mins to go for a quick kiss and baby handover and HI goes off to work. Bags of time! One thing having a baby will teach you is that you have to micro-plan every single minute to fit it in. It comes as quite a shock with the first one. I was used to just swanning about in my own sweet time and could never get anywhere on time (except to the end of the runway at work!) and then you have a baby and have to get organised. My friend who used to be an army riding instructor and is mother to 2 children taught me a bit of military parenting discipline.

It is hard to start with, but you get better and better at it. The other thing to bear in mind is it is winter atm, and even horsey people without kids are struggling. in another 2 months the clocks change and you will be able to go up in the evening. You may have to remind HI that if there are 7 evenings in a week, he can have 3, you can have 3 and the last one you can have together. It is not optional for HI - you have provided him with a child, now he has to provide you with the time to look after yourself a little bit. Tell him once you are feeling a little fitter and happier you might have the inclination to 'look after' him a bit more but right now you are in a post-birth dip and have to work at getting things right with yourself again.

And FFS get HIM to ask his mother!

Iggy I also has horrendous waking atm,butnot for feeds, just wakings.

Have you tried more feedingin the day to try and fill her up?

well done on weight loss curls!

And sorry to everyone who currently wants to murder their so called beloved.

Yey for 25th silvia. Looking forward to seeing you. Will do directions on FB. I must plan a menu.

Checked my diary and the 'rents are visiting for three/four days. BUT am going to ask if they mind entertaining themselves that day.

Right box my new plan is to take control re hoss. Am sure we can work round his bizniz and shiz. HI has been helping out, he's done hoss this am. So I have suggested I ride this pm. It's stopped raining here. Trouble is hoss is veh dirty and that's with deep litter. It's like find the poo as gets trodden in and the other prob is chatting. But if I do early then everyone else is on a mission to get to work so dont chat as much. Sharer is having a hiatus due to ill health but is due back on the scene mid Feb. Gutting thing is I need her contribution as bit skint at the mo. Anyways thanks to that pep talk I am feeling motivated. Need to get nag fitter before can go back in school. One day at a time.

cos and iggs if I had a magic remedy for sleep I'd get it to you in a flash.

hi ho go *silver!

Quiet in here today.

Hulllllooooooooo?

Allo. Having coffee with VAG! Will report back later!!!

I wasn't around yesterday because I was slightly hampered by a sleep-refusnik baby, and had Clucky round for tea. We made gingerbread men for TT and Little Chick to decorate with pink icing and silver balls and chocolate stars, which went down well. Then made them home-laid eggs and soldiers for tea. Obviously the girls were full of gingerbread so Cluck and I had a pair of lovely soft boiled eggs each. Clucky is a naughty girl for eating runny eggs from a dodgy source! But hey.

So, anyone know why LG is fighting sleep so much? Maybe he was just so excited to see Cluck and her lovely little girl. Maybe not. But he has previously slept for 1 1/2 hrs twice a day and is suddenly fighting it like mad. Which is a little trying.

Good on ya, Silv - take control! Honestly, whatever your hobby was before baybees can still be done but you become a major expert in planning expeditions to the last minute in order to fit it in! I have one of these with a column for me, OH, TT, LG, horses and one for family things like holidays, etc. If OH wants to do something like cricket or band practice, or is working away from home, it has to go in the book. Otherwise I will organise his life for him! You'll be amazed at how much goes in the baby column - jabs, HV appointments, and stuff. And TT has a busier social life than me and OH put together. Then you have a little stick to beat HI with - you can show him how busy you are 'working' to be a mother and housewife while he is out. (I even write in things like Tesco deliveries.) Basically, if there is a gap in the calendar between OH's work and social activities I fill it with horsey shiz. Then OH has to honour it. It also means we sit down once a week with a glass of wine and check up what the other is planning to do this week. So we are both able to factor in work and social life and hobbies, and make sure the kids are looked after and entertained too. Micro-management, that's the key.

WRT horsey stuff, other things to help that I've done include getting rubber matting and only doing little beds so you don't have to spend so much time mucking out. I know the rubber is expensive, but I use way less bedding now making it cheaper, and mucking out only takes 10mins per day and I never have to dig out a deep litter bed. I also bought haybars (you can make your own for much less) so I just chuck hay in there rather than filling haynets. It only saves 5 minutes a day, but that's over half an hour a week - hey, presto! a half hour ride! Autowaterers if your yard can fit them are brilliant too. No more filling buckets, which is a pointless waste of anyone's time, kids or no. I appreciate that not all of these things may be feasible now due to cost or other reasons, but they are things to bear in mind - I am still streamlining my horse care routine down to maximize time spent WITH the horse or ON the horse rather than doing inane random jobs at the yard, and I've been working it out for over 3 years! One day I hope to have all of my fields accessible from the yard gate so that I never have to traipse across the fields again to take out or bring in - just chuck them out of the yard and call them back at teatime. It's a way off yet though. Other things you can do - if you take your rugs off to ride every so often, don't waste time changing rugs pointlessly twice a day, a turnout rug is fine in the stable and will dry better on the horse's back, and you don't get them cold by taking a warm rug off and putting a cold one on. Of course the ultimate in streamlining is to sell a big white horse and buy a small mud coloured one....

Well after MASSIVE showdown yesterday think HI understands that my need for escapism is huge and if I don't get it then it has a huge impact on family life.

So I didn't ride yesterday as raining but I've been out this afternoon and normally would spend ages grooming. Not anymore - just the essential areas. Family came with and it was nice as we talked. Normal convo about allsorts. Was nice. He's going out tonight but cos I've had a taste of my old life I'm happy again and I don't mind him going out tonight whereas I think I would have resented him having his night of freedom.

box thanks for tips. I already leave TO rugs on. Could look into haybar but Nag paws things when impatience kicks in and have had many a bucket broken. So not sure what type would work. Am going to try and save for matting as think it's worth it. Have to stick with water buckets. Soooooooo am getting one of those books and using it to plan our lives. Have told HI already that I will try again to organise him and us and he will cooperate.

I iz deffo on for 25th. Parentals are going to see other relatives that day so I haz freeeeeeedom. Well not quite, they are coming to us that evening.