Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

Hi alba I don't change at night if I can help it- agree it helps the go straight back to sleep if you don't! He's fine in pampers but had run out hence the huggies (dh obsessed with those £5 newborn packs, we've got loads to get through!)

SamB good look with the house move

How is everyone else?

Ciara has gone up to the pampers mid 3 active fit, they definitely dont seem as good as the newborn nappies, i was all sad when she grew out of the newborn ones.

Louise how are u?

no real news here xx

Hello, hope everyone is well, having nice weekends and the snuffly babies are getting better. We have had a bit of a rough time, which is why I've not posted for a while. DD had her tongue tie snipped and things improved for a bit but it's now gone back to being really painful, she still struggles to latch on and I also have thrush in my nipples! After an agonising feed last night that left me sobbing I gave her a bottle of formula this morning and am now trying to express enough to bottle feed her that for the time being. On the plus side it is a relief to give my nipples a break and having a break from the pain/ struggle to bf is making me feel much better in myself. I think it was starting to make me feel depressed and I was dreading each feed. However, I feel full of guilt and utterly heartbroken as I so much wanted to bf and I miss the closeness with her. Also she keeps trying to find my boob and I feel awful, like I am depriving her of something. I haven't totally given up hope but right now I know I need to have a break for my own sanity after 5 weeks of pain and stress.
Sorry to ramble on, I think I just needed to get it out. It is hard work this parenting business. I keep trying to remind myself that what matters is she is here and healthy and well. I'm so blessed to have her and that is what matters most. Its nearly a year ago since I found out I was pregnant with the baby I lost and I know that in the end, having lost a baby, I should focus on what I have got and be grateful for that, rather than obsessing over the feeding. So why do I feel so sad? Ok, I'm rambling again, having a bit of an emotional weekend I think!

SamB wishing you happiness in your new home!

Dorcas [hug] sorry to hear you've been having such a tough time. All you can do is your best, and that's exactly what you're doing, even if it's not what you thought it would be, iyswim. If I've learnt one thing since having R it's that things are never as idealistic as you imagined and you do whatever is needed to get through.

Relieved here as have finally heard from BIL living in Sendai, Japan. Will be having a tonight.

Love to all x

Dorcas I was in a very very similar situation, I fed Ciara for the first 6 weeks and every single feed was so incredibly painful, nipples cracked and bleeding but most of all cos i had the internal infections after the c section.. I unfortunately had to stop at 6 weeks and suddenly my infections disappeared and I felt a ton better and hence was better with Ciara. I wish more than anything I could have fed ciara for longer and get so guilty about it but some very intelligent ladies here pointed out that i had done my best and ultimately feeling better was better for her. I really really feel for you, you will know what's right to do, you may find after a bit of a rest that you can keep going or if you have to stop don't feel guilty either. it's so so tough

gilda great you hear from BIL what a worry xx

dorcas you have done amazingly well to bf as much as you have given the issues you've had- please be really proud of that. Having a healthy happy mum is the best thing you can give a baby so please don't be too upset about a few formula feeds. And if you do decide to move to formula you will be doing so because it's the best thing for you and dd. Also, I'm sure babies have an in built milk sniffing sense- I held a fully ff baby the other day and he started rooting too!! - sending you a virtual hug ((( )))

gi1da wonderful news from japan - you and your family must be so relieved.

Has everyone had a good weekend? Sunshine here- hurrah! Dh went on a stag do last night and cruelly I made him take ds1 swimming this morning... I'd been up watching cbeebies since 5.30am with both boys and was going slightly stir crazy! Tomorrow I've got a massage booked... Not sure of the logistics yet... But have a precious bottle of expressed milk ready in case dh needs it in an emergency!!!

What everyone else said dorcas. Don't beat yourself up.

Ok weekend here. Yesterday was a feeding frenzy day so mainly I sat on the sofa with a baby clamped to me. But then she slept for 5 hours straight overnight which was delightful.

Today I had friends come to visit and she slept the whole time. Which was a nice change from her more recent pattern of just wanting to be fed when visitors turn up.

5 hours??!

I know. I was shocked. But she did spend the entire day feeding. I couldn't put her down. Last night was a 4 hour stint. I do recommend trying swaddling and white noise. She does sleep much better now.

Dorcas try not to feel guilty, you're doing the very best you can. I feel for you. As I've said on here several times before, DS1 was FF from 9 days old as bf was so tough for us, good latch but still bleeding and in agony and he was losing weight to dangerous level. It was best for him to switch. And he's a bright healthy little boy. I felt terrible guilt but in my situation I did what was for the best. Just one tip I got that I think is very helpful, use bifidobacteria infantis powder in formula feed (infant probiotic). Can't reference the research just now as I'm on phone one handed but it has been researched and is helpful for their immune systems. Breastmilk naturally has probiotics, formula doesn't hence the need to add yourself. I buy it at a local shop but you may need to source online. I used it for DS1 and again in X's top ups whilst we were giving them. DS1 has thrown off most childhood illnesses really well despite being a formula fed little boy, and a friend who was in the same situation as me also swore by them.
Actually, here's one easily found research paper on infant probiotics, there are several others if you google:
here

Muser yay for 5 hours sleep! X was pretty good last night (co sleep and often don't look at clock so not sure of sleep stretches) but sadly DS1 was up in the night and awake early... If only they could co-ordinate good nights!

Burst into tears at the jabs . Oh it was bloody awful, her poor little face, I felt like a very bad mummy!

So last night she went down upstairs at 8pm for the first time. I of course still ran up and down checking on her, in fact I was a little bit sad to be parted from her for the evening. but I know it is a good thing. DH and I actually just watched telly and chatted (between my frequent dashes - I do have a baby monitor, just don't trust it yet!) it was so weird. So she did 8pm til we woke her at 10.30 for a change/feed and then I didn't feed her again til 4.30. But in between she still wakes about once an hour and I resettle her with a few strokes and finger licks. I just can't ignore it... I worry it's going to develop into a full on wail and then DH will be awake too. I think next weekend I'll try ignoring her and seeing what happens. Because unbroken sleep would be blissful.

Dorcas sorry you're feeling down, but making the switch is no reflection on you, just something that needs to happen to keep you both well. And if you can go back to it then great, but if not then that's ok too, so long as you're both happy and healthy. And it's perfectly normal to feel sad, even without the feeding issues... I'm so happy to have J, but I still have days where I don't feel right.

Am feeling a bit better after last week's issues... DH and I are making more of an effort to talk about other things. Meita sounds interesting - perhaps I can live vicariously through your intellectual pursuits!

SamB hope you're in and starting to make headway on all the boxes... enjoy!

Gi1da so pleased you've heard from BIL, what a relief.

Muser hope the sleeping continues and unbuff that it improves... and that clare you're not doing too much!

Enjoy the sunshine all (unless you're in Scotland, in which case enjoy the snow!)

Hi all

Sleep only between 11 and 1 last night so not so hot on the brainpower. Unexplained hyseterical howlywails between 3 and 4.30ish - was not reallly clockwatching. He was fed, the right temperature, clean nappy, winded (and gripewatered for good measure)... Wialed whether picked up or put down, nothing helped at all. It's so hard to know what to do. He may be teething although it seems very early, has two little dimples in the front of his lower gums, not sure. I;m so tired it does not hepl thinking!

TMT I hate the poisonpins too, it makes me so sad and feel so awful but it's better in the long run I know. the nurses didn'#t want to stick J the first time because he was grinning at them so happily. It does'nt get any easier either, they quickly learn what to expect .

Dorcas we can only do what we can to make life better for them, and having a working mummy is a lot more important than what milk - also you have fed for this long which is brilliant. There's nothing like that excruvciating boob pain, is there - and it does take over your life. Give yourself a bit of a break honey, you;ll all feel better and you will begin to enjoy your baby more not feel it is a chore and a physical pain to be a mother xx

Muser yay for sleep - am extremely jalous. Have had about 3 'good' nights - ie 4 hours + since J born, every time think 'hooray, cracked it' and then the next one comes along... I hope it continues for you!

SamB hope the move went well

I konw i've missed loads opf people out and cannot spell - apologies all round!

Some other issues here atm but brain being what it is atm not worth attempting to go into details... still v depressed and wondering if i need to start feeding j solider food early, perhaps he is just growing too fast for me to keep up. Am seeing HV on Thurs.

Can't even remember how old he is.
Perhaps we should try an ages list?! (then it's written down and i won't have to remember )

oooh there were a LOT of typos there. And a distinct lack of bolding.

Sorry everyone.

Unbuffy, if X is now 9 weeks and J was born a little over a month before him, he must be 14-15 weeks now? Old enough for the magic pink potion (calpol) for otherwise unexplained nighttime distress? It may help your sanity too, that's the worst possible time to be awake, I'd be feeling very low after a night like that.
I think the latest on weaning is absolutely not before 17weeks, then after that it's whenever they're ready and interested. It's rare to be able to hold out till 6 months if my friends and their babies anything to go by, but every child is different. And it could well be tooth pain.
I had a wisdom tooth come through (extremely late) about ten years ago and it was agony. Not constant, just stop start, and the pain was much worse weeks before the tooth actually cut. If it were me I'd assume that if everything else ruled out then tooth pain quite likely. Maybe try to see if he'll chew on something to help?
Fingers crossed you get a lovely long much needed sleep tonight

Not talking about giving it to him right now!!! But may need it sooner than dd did. You're right, may have to resort to the evil pink stuff though...

And for madame?(me?!)

Hi to all, hope you are all getting more sleep than me.....the milk monster still feeds 2-3hourly day and night. I am honestly sick to the back teeth of feeding, Eli is an very inefficient feeder and so each feed is still 45mins plus settling equals very little sleep. I think it's getting me a down, no family near to lessen the load and DH working long hours means it's just us.

Suppose I should think myself lucky, at least I haven't had to put in the monumental effort that Dorcas is it the moment, and I know others suffered too. Well done for making it this far Dorcas, you really should be proud of yourself.

I can't express more than 2oz from the other side whilst feeding, and considering that the big lad takes 8oz, it takes me all day to express for 1 feed. Soul destroying.

A non-napping hungry lad = a very tearful tired mummy.
Any tips, any suggestions? Contemplating introducing a FF before bed before I lose the plot.

Unbuffy, I agree with Alba, magic calpol for emergencies.

HappyGirl, I agree the active fit aren't as good, have you tried the size 3 or 4 pampers baby dry? They seem a bit better.

Malteser I think we are the same person!

(((()))) all round

muser am trying the White noise trick tonight to see if t sleeps for a bit longer with it on- he is currently listening to an untuned radio. Went down at 7.30, it's now 9.30... Let's see what happens!

malteser an ff could be a good plan, if you do decide to try it, I'd recommend doing a test run during the day so you can check he likes it and more importantly that it doesn't upset his tummy/ cause too much wind- better to trial it during the day than when you're knackered!! Also if you can get dh to feed so ds doesn't smell your milk and start protesting. Good luck- it is totally knackering but it does get better! (keep repeating this to self)

buffy big hugs (()) are you expressing at all? Could you ask dh to give you a night off and do a couple of feeds for you? I am a big fan of the pink stuff as a last resort (am still mourning the change in age limit for medised) nothing wrong with using it in my book if you are still feeling down please speak to your hv or mw so they can help. I hope the sun is shining where you are so you are able to have some nice walks too xx

Handy list from grads to help us remember rough baby ages!!!

The babies are arriving! Huge congratulations to:
Totally with daughter Faith Juliet, 9lb5oz born Tuesday 16th February 2010
Amyboo with son Matthew James, 4.714kg (10lb3oz) born Tuesday 30th March 2010
Hoops with son Benjamin Scott, 7lb4oz born Friday 2nd April 2010
Memorylapse with daughter Olivia, born Friday 16th April 2010
Jacanne with daughter Lotta Eliza, 8lbs 5oz born 20th April 2010
Becky78 with son Thomas Christopher born 22nd May, 9lb 1oz
Meita with son Ianto born 23 August, 7lbs 4
Boodleboot with daughter Alice Elizabeth born 10 Sep - 8lbs 2oz
LeeWT with son Andrew Anthony born 28th Sept 7lbs 14oz
TFLS with son Charlie born on 30th September, 6lbs 8oz
SamB with daughter Ruby Mae born 19th October, 7lbs 10oz
Effilump with son Arlen born 16th October, 8lbs
Sarahlou8 with daughter Emily Isabella born 21st October, 7lb8oz
Unbuffy with son James Anthony born 3rd December, 6lb8oz
HappyGirl with daughter Ciara born 10th December, 8lb2oz
Malteser1981 with son Eli born 18 December, 8lb 6oz
Zayja with daughter Winona born 19 December, 7lbs 11oz
Sparklyrainbow with son Alex born 28th December, 9lb 7oz
GoodLuckBear with son James born 25th December, 8lb
BunnyBaby with son Daniel George born 5th January 2011, 10lb 1oz
AlbaDeTamble - with son born 10th Jan 2011, 8lbs 10oz
Gilda - with son Ren born 10th Jan 2011, 8lb 4oz
WestYorkshireGirl - with daughter Hester Rose born 14th Jan 2011, 6lb 4oz
Redheadgal - with daughter Cecily Anne born 13th Jan 2011, 8lbs 13oz
Toomuchteaching - with daughter Jemima Ella Phoebe born 17th Jan 2011, 8lb1/4oz
Dorcas111 - with daughter born 4th February 2011 8lbs 5oz
Clareanna - with son Tobias born 10th February 7lbs 10oz
Muser - with daughter born 15th February 6lbs 12oz
Ba8y1 ? with son born Tuesday 15th February, 8lbs 11oz
Lotta123 - with baby born Monday 21st February
Magic8ballhastheanswers - Identical twin girls, born 27th February 6lb8 & 5lb15

In our thoughts and prayers:
Louise with daughter Georgie born asleep on 10th October

Twindom is crazy will be back to catch up soon but just wanted to say hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x

Unbuffy hope you had a better night and today's sunshine is doing you good

Malteser at your DS taking 8oz in one go! That's one hungry boy! Huge respect to you for managing to keep him fed with an appetite like that! I have to agree a FF for your sanity sounds like a good plan. I was talking to my mum about feeding the other day... She had all sorts of trouble feeding my older sister and had to switch to FF and felt all kinds of guilt. She was a midwife too and felt that as a professional she shouldn't be struggling... And on reflection she says that just made it much harder for herself. I think we all have to go with what works to some degree, perfect parenting doesn't exist!

I have just had one of those nights. DS1 up at 5am for a wee, but poor chap was too dazed to make it to the bathroom in time. Thankfully just wet pj's which is easy to deal with... But then half an hour later text from DSD1 asking for help, she was in agony and couldn't move... Was reminded about calpol conversation yesterday as I took max dose ibuprofen and paracetamol to her! (she's 15, I'm not overdosing a small child). Poor thing had sprained her neck somehow or other. She's got to sitting now and hoping to be up and back to school this afternoon (oh to have the rapid recovery time of a child!)... And DH is away till tomorrow night. Curiously I don't feel at all tired, I think the baby let me sleep quite well, though most likely I'll keep going just fine then crash when DH gets home and poor chap will probably get snapped at just because I'm tired (note to self, try not to do that).

TMT sorry the jabs were so awful for you. I remind myself when I take them how much worse it is dealing with a little one with a fever and that makes putting them through the jabs that little bit easier, it really is for good reason. But still hard to do.

Clare how did the White noise go?

Right, DSS and his friends about to arrive, where's brian, I need him, have promised help with Alevel maths provided X doesn't wake up (have to feed in a different room... They find it somewhat )

Hellooo ladies

Having a bit of a 'grrrr' morning here. Trotted off to my local health centre to have a smear test (having been inundated with reminders throughout my pregnancy) only to be told I have to wait until 12 weeks postpartum. Of course this was nowhere mentioned on the letter so no only did I waste my morning, but my DH had to change his plans to look after C.

But ... while waiting for my appointment I discovered that the midwives who delivered her made an error in recording her birth weight. She weighed in at 4200g which we were told was 8 lbs 13 oz and we never questioned it. However reading through the little red book (reading material is thin on the ground at our health centre) I discovered she was actually 9lbs 4oz!

To add to my 'grrrr' mood, I now have to take the car in to be serviced today. It failed its MOT on Friday and the garage came up with over a grand's worth of work which needed to be done. So we're going for a second opinion. The exhaust fell off yesterday so I'm not feeling too confident that their quote is going to be much lower.

Hope everyone else's Tuesday morning is going better than mine. I will try to grab a minute to name check when C's sleeping later on. It's also Jab-Day here too, so yet another trip to the health centre. Oh joy! Grumpy mummy and grumpy baby! Poor DH

Magic - hiiiii to you too! Impressed you've got a free hand to type!

Unbuffy - at least it's not just me then!

RHG - Jab day on top of the day you've had so far, oh dear.........Calpol at the ready!

Clare - thanks for the advice. How did the white noise go? Nearly bought a cd from amazon (smell the desperation!) but have taken to parking Eli in the kitchen as either the washer or dryer is always on the go

Alba - yep a whole day of expressing gone in the blink of an eye, suppose it explains why he's 15lb 8oz at 12 weeks and bursting out of the 3-6months clothes. I feel I have to point out he is long too, but does have some scrummy baby rolls!
A level maths?! Good luck with that, I am officially brain dead.

Going to my mums for thw weekend, DH a bit peeved as he won't see Eli, but then again if he was more help at settling/winding/bathing etc and won't feel the need to up sticks for the weekend. Decided to do whats right for me even though he does have the face on. Still contemplating a FF, I've never thought that the idea would bother me, it's more as Clare says the trouble it might bring (wind/more unsettled/bigger appetite). Dorcas have you noticed a different?

Wishing settled nights all round

Redheadgal they got our baby's weight wrong too! We had to show midwife a photo of baby on the scales to prove her birth weight, which was higher than they thought.

Dorcas my baby won't feed properly at my breast. Have cried about it so much. First, well done for trying for five weeks. That's a long time when it's not going well. I'm thinking I'll give it one more week (so will have tried for four weeks) and then move over to formula. Half her diet at the moment is formula because she lost so much weight. Have been trying to cut it down but can't as she isn't taking much from me. I have lots of milk but baby isn't really interested. At the moment her feeds take 1.5-2.5 hours every 3 hours and baby isn't sucking right on my boob to get the milk. Very frustrating.

red grrr on your behalf about the smear test. I complained to the Dr that I got a reminder when I was 6 months pregnant... I knew from last time not whilst pg or for 3 months afterwards. The reply was that they're auto-generated and there's nothing they can do about it (it seems a note in the auto-generated letter about exclusions isn't possible ). it made me really cross, and I hadn't even trekked to the surgery...