Dec 2007 - Little People, Large Strops

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

Will this do everyone?

FO

I hope it all works out for you. It sounds like you have your feet firmly planted on the ground.

Buzzy - glad op went okay, take it easy.

gosh what are the issues (if you don't mind telling us)? Would they be there if you and he had a relationship?

So pleased it was such a success though smile] And glad you are being so sensible about it although as you say it might get harder to be sensible if/when they get back together...

(also can't believe you were worried about the size of his willy!!!!)

Where is this slimbridge place then? I live near you too you know !!!

oh yes back to skidd (skid already taken) as I thought 2 years is probably long enough to be self-congratulatory about getting my PhD...

DrSkid (I think you should still use it, it's a great achievement to get a phd!) Slimbridge is south of us unfortunately (for you) - it's off the motorway between here and Bristol.

Not sure where would be equidistant (is that a word?) between you, me and Clairey - possibly here! Let me know if you both want to meet up one day, there is a soft play in Cheltenham or we could meet at my house. Or if you have any other ideas. Of course you might not want to meet someone of the internet, after all - that would make us all real!

Erm...do you think I should get that deleted? Have given a bit much info about somone else's life...

She sounds like a 'mare, he'd be much better off than you.

That post could describe a lot of people, but get it deleted if you are worried.

WITH you not THAN you!!

oh my goodness - what an absolute nightmare, obviously you are only hearing one side but she sounds not nice at all. Have you met her? I think he needs to get out of the relationship for the sake of everyone

Maybe get it deleted in a day or so when everyone's read it!!! I don't think it's necessary but I understand you being worried...

re meeting up - I feel slightly torn. On one hand I'd love to meet you after 'knowing' you so long, but on the other hand, would it be really wierd?? My DH thinks I am mad for having MN 'friends'and should not meet them under any circs in case they are crazy

You've met up with MNetters in RL haven't you BT? Has it always been fine?

BTW saw your thread on visitor - have you found out what was going on?

I haven't met her, his nan isn't keen on her and was hoping he'd get with me and apparently his mum said "oh well he's big enough to make his own mistakes" after she met her...

But I have only heard his side of it, and I know that I live in my space a certain way and would find it difficult to adjust to having a bloke and all his stuff here (plus two extra children) so I can kind of understand that, though I would like to think I'd be more flexible and accomodating. And I do think it's really shit that his dc spend nearly half the week there but don't feel at home.

And her ds does sound like a real brat but again, I can see how he'd be rebelling against having a man move in after having his mum to himself for so long...and against having to share his room with another child etc.

The money thing, well I think I'd be resentful too.

My main worry about meeting up is that we might not get on! And that would be wierd after getting on so well on here for so long. I have met mummyelk from your march pn thread skid so you could ask her if I seemed normal...

And you know waaaaaay more about me than most people IRL- that's quite scary!

Oh you'd definitely all hate me if we met in real life.

Actually one problem for us Skid is discovering that we do in fact share a dh. Mine would be exactly the same about meeting anyone off MN, he would think you were almost certainly going to abduct me and hold me and my dd's to ransom.

I have had so many dreams about meeting you (mainly Skid and Clairey, I think because they live in reachable distance to me) though I almost feel like I actually HAVE met you.

Clairey - it would be a bit of a nightmare if she did somehow read that, but really what are the chances? Perhaps ask for it to be deleted in a week or so just in case she finds out about you being on MN and does a search one day - even if it was a while down the line.

I agree, their relationship sounds like a disaster. No wonder he's been seeking comfort in you!

yes I go on regular meetups with some Durham MNers, I really enjoy it! We can reply to messages cryptically to wind other posters up!

We did have a close call with someone who was very new wanted to meet up but she has disappeared (don't know if you saw the AIBU about the OP who had no money because she was expecting oodles of cash from her mobile phone it was her!).

But we have all been chatting for ages and so far I haven't met anyone dodgy or that I disliked - hope they feel the same way :D

Hope not clara

Realised while on the phone to my friend earlier that today is my wedding anniversary. 5 years today. Ho Hum.

clairey at wedding anniversary clairey - good that you didn't realise ahead of time though - I think? How are things between you atm? Is he still seeing the DC regularly?

hmm maybe we should just be virtual friends then? I do remember having a dream about meeting you clairey and you had a really annoying squeaky voice , and clara imagine if our meeting resulted in two divorces from the same bald, Xmas -hating, anti-religion biggamist!!!

how come you mey up with mummyelk? I never go on there anymore, and I've noticed arcadie rarely comes on here anymore - I gues you just have to choose a favourite thread!

BT did you 'know' the other Mnetters well before you met them in RL? I think that is what is scary. I met a couple when I first moved to Oxford but I ddn;t 'know' them so there were no ilusions to shatter!

see you are all doing much better than me, I haven't met anyone off MN ever.

There is one in Cheltenham who I actually know through Twitter who suggested meeting for a coffee. Trouble is, I am struggling to find time to meet my RL friends so have had to put it off for now. She organises local MN meet-ups but that just doesn't really appeal to me - if I am going to have a precious night out I would rather it were with friends I have known for a while.

However I am up for meeting you lot if you are game. No rush though, perhaps we should do it in the summer when it's easier to find somewhere outside to meet?

Well he took over 2 weeks annual leave over xmas and didn't see the dc once. I was not happy and told him what a shit dad he was and if that was how he wanted to be then he wouldn't see the dc at all. So since then we haven't really been on speaking terms, though he did have the dc friday night (for the first time since 17th dec). Don't know when he is next having them.

Met mummyelk at a MN flashfebreeze event in Bristol. Was funny cos on the thread beforehand we had discussed both 'knowing' you and arcadie and then we ended up sat next to each other.

Glad we are your favourites

I think I would meet you, though it is scary! Maybe BT needs to come down and organise us

Skidd - I had chatted to a few of them quite a bit, but I wouldn't say I knew them until I met them.

FO - Am and at your EXH's not seeing the kids. It is not fair on you or them to not have regular access in place, and he needs to pull his finger out if he wants to maintain a good relationship with them. Why should you have to chase around after him!!

Skidd - I had chatted to a few of them quite a bit, but I wouldn't say I knew them until I met them.

FO - Am and at your EXH's not seeing the kids. It is not fair on you or them to not have regular access in place, and he needs to pull his finger out if he wants to maintain a good relationship with them. Why should you have to chase around after him!!

at your awful exH clairey, at least your DC have one lovely reliable parent!

flashfebreeze event??? Like a cleaning product day?

Just found out I have been shortlisted for a research fellowship at one of the colleges here in Oxford - soooo scared! What should I wear? What will they ask me? Will I f*ck it all up? [terrified]

wow Skidd, great news! Maybe you do need to stick to DrSkid?! I presume you mean for the interview? I'm guessing conservative clothes would be best?? Knock them dead!

Clairey, nothing surprises me with exHs sadly.

Very very slowly improving day by day. Have to say it was much more painful days 2-5 than I expected but past the worst now. Still can't stand up straight which is the worst thing as it really puts a strain on my back. Back to see surgeon on Tue - fingers crossed he's happy with progress!

DD1 arrives back from her Nana's house today. Hopefully she won't be too bouncy! Have missed her. Mum is going out to collect her from the airport soon.

Now...my dilemma is do I fess up to possible new man what the surgery actually was??

Oh and one of my best friends here in RL is someone I met through MN!

I wouldn't fess up buzzy I don't think but then again what on earth are you going to tell him it was? You don't want to start lying to him when you've barely started a r'ship with him! Does he know you've had surgery at all? Actually probably better to tell on reflection? - oh I don't know!

Can you see the benefits yet or is it too soon? Hope you took a before photo so you can compare. This is worst time and I'm sure it will be more than worth it!

Yes clothes for interview - suit? I don't own one but fortunately I have a very nice and fashionable neighbour!

skidd, that's just it. I don't want to lie to him but in fact I already have. I told him even before we met that I was due to have surgery on 17 Jan. I just gave him the same line I've given everyone else in RL, that it was "woman's surgery" and made reference to the laporoscopic surgery I had 6 years ago for endo. He, like everyone else, has swallowed that. So now do I turn around and say to him "actually I lied" or do I persist with the pretense when it is likely to become obvious to him before long (if things go well ) that my scar is hardly a small lap-type scar!! (it stretches from hip to hip) And if I do confess the truth, how do I tell him?!! One good thing is that as he'd never seen me "before" so to speak he will just have to accept the new me.

The surgeon took loads of "before" photos. There's one in particular of me in some red capri pants on FB that someone took in Bali and tagged me on that I don't like much. But I don't have any "naked" ones of my own!

I'm wearing a corset type thing so it all does look very smooth at the moment. I haven't dared to take that off - I have to wear it for 3 months!! It does feel very tight, almost too much so, but hopefully that will ease with the swelling. I had liposuction as well around the back to reduce the spare tyre effect and that's now almost more painful than the front.

Hmmm, suit, well I guess that's what Oxford would expect is it? A skirt or dress with jacket anyway? Not something too distracting or "power" red I'd guess. Do you know who will be on the panel? That could be a factor. All male?

Clairey - what news?!!?

Skid - how exciting for you! And well done!

Buzzy - eek what a dilemma, maybe don't mention it unless your new man brings it up? I don't think he will think any less of you - after all it is your own private business. Glad you are on the mend

oh gosh buzzy what a dilemma - I just don't know. I suppose if you really like and him and feel like the r'ship has the potential to go somewhere then it's probably better to fess up now - I'm sure at this point he will understand why you lied. Imagine if you end up marrying him and a few years in you are still having to go along with all the lies you will have had to tell to keep it going - nnightmare - and telling him then will be a much bigger deal

BUT then again laying your insecurities on the table at such an early stage when you are (if you are anything like me) trying to portray yourself as a sorted, confident, independent person (which of course you are) but this is very personal and shows your vulnerability..

Short answer - I just don;t know what you should do - start a thread in relationships and see what people say?

Re interview - 3 women and one man - all hardcore scientists: neuroanatomy and the like (eek) - it was a women's college until about 30 years ago so I think it is quite progressive and feminist... I'm thinking smart blouse, jacket, black knee length skirt and boots?