Dec 2007 - Little People, Large Strops

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

Will this do everyone?

Buzzy - a difficult one. I would be inclined to respect her wishes but given how flaky your exH is I think you should chat to your DD about keeping up contact. You would think though him being the adult he would attempt contact no matter what though! I do feel for your DD, I was in a similar position with my Dad as well

Stranded, sounds like you are doing very well! Can I be nosey and ask if you will make a reasonable income from being an AN teacher? Have been thinking of career options, not looking for something making big bucks, but something that I would enjoy but would earn a small income. Have been thinking of training as a BFC but am thinking about being an AN/PN teacher.
The DCs are fine, thinking about school applications for DS and DD is now rolling from front to back! Start weaning onto solids in a couple of weeks, thought she has tried a few things!

Hello - feel likes weeks since I've been on, good to catch up

buzzy - again no experience in this except through adult friends who lost contact with their fathers and from that perspective I would try to encourage her to keep in contact. As clara says, the benefits of having a father in your life are huge as long as the relationship is a loving one. Very difficult situation though

clairey - the drama! Glad he has sort of apologised at least. Were you at all tempted by the groin strain offer? If not, then that is progress!

clara - wow you have been busy - sounds like a really interesting course.

I have just been to give a talk in DD's class - they were soooooooooo cute and DD was sooooooooooo proud [sob] I wish they could stay this age for ever....

Sounds difficult buzzy...echo what the others have said though. Don't know what else you can do really.

Skid well for a second I did think "have I done my bikini line" but was then uuuuurgh no! I was ovulating as well so extra impressive that I wasn't tempted.

Everyone on my fb seems to be coupling up for xmas, loads of relationship status changes.

2 years today since I left xh
Called him yesterday to check he hadn't done anything about the divorce before I started it off. He said no, could I leave it a couple of months so he could 'prepare himself for it'. He's had 2 years to do that!

Then at 1130 last night got a nonsensical text about something I was supposed to have said to someone about him deleting me on fb. Sent one back asking what I was supposed to have said to who and got one back saying "I know what you said. small town!" So called him asking wtf he was on about, he was obviously drunk and was ranting about a load of stuff that I couldn't even understand then hung up on me. Then called me back said sorry for hanging up then ranted a bit more, then denied everything he'd jst said (sooo glad I know about gaslighting now because when I was with him his habit of doing that used to make me seriously doubt myself) then hung up on me again! Decided to just ignore then got a text saying "dont worry about me you never did" then a bit later another one saying he'd met someone he really liked and he didn't want anyone to be sad and lonely. WTF????

Suspect he has made this person up tbh (two weeks ago he said he wasnt over me) but if he hasn't it DOES piss me off slightly. Not because I would ever want to be with him, the thought of that actually makes me feel sick, but
a) because he has been 'too busy' to have the dc lately so if he hasn't been too busy to cultivate a new relationship that means he is prioritising them over the dc and my children deserve more than that
and b) (channeling inner 4 year old) because it's not fair that he is as much of a twat as he is and yet he gets to meet someone before I do I'm a nice person, I deserve someone that makes me happy dammit!

Oh and this morning he phoned to rant a bit more and then ended the call saying if I ever met someone he would try not to make it difficult and he wouldnt intefere this time So think that's my answer about the stirring before don't you?

OMG he is unbearable!! I don't know how you can bear to engage with him!

FWIW if IF IF he has met someone else (agree he is probably lying), it is almost certainly not a happy and fulfilling relationship and nothing to envy

I am sure you will meet someone lovely and have a proper healthy mutually fulfilling relationship years before he does

And here's to 2 years without him

I engage with him as little as possible Skid Usually I am able to just ignore him but every now and then he chips his way in and manages to annoy me!

Lovely weekend away despite a bad cold.

Christmas stuff is now up! Little overexcited this year!

ds just told me he is joseph in the preschool christmas play. He is however upset about it because he isn't a king

How exciting Clairey! They don't really do Christmas plays here in NZ. Closest is DD1 playing guitar to accompany school choir for carols at the end of year school BBQ.

I'm feeling ridiculously excited because I have been offered an office at work today - first time in my career I've had an office all to myself

at DS clairey - how exciting! DS1 told be he is going to Mary - how modern I thought until his teacher told me that they are actually doing a concert so nobody is playing Mary [secretly disappointed]

Going to see DD's nativity now - she is an inkeeper

Also very exciting to have your own office buzzy - wierdly I prefer sharing, don't know why...

at ds saying he was Mary.

Some evil little bitches girls at school have told dd she isn't allowed to play mums and dads with them because she doesn't live with her dad

Guess who crawled out of the woodwork again last night? Random text to ask how we were, then another apology, then a few hours later another text to say if I was still up did I want to put the kettle on / followed by another saying he hadn't been going to try anything just wanted to talk. I replied to his texts (said no to him coming round btw) but kind of feel like he had his chance to be my friend and I really can't be bothered to rekindle the friendship.

Divorce papers all filled in Just waiting for a letter from job centre stating what benefit I'm on so I can submit them without having to pay £340 court fees. Probably going to have to chase it...

FO - yey for your DS playing Joseph. And at the nasty girls. Clearly they are being dragged up, unlike your lovely DD!
You are doing the right thing about, I presume, the WC. I would block his number if I was you.

Buzzy at your DS, I am sure he would have been a lovely Mary

No plays for DS, not sure if they are doing one this year(been no mention), he was an angel last year but I didn't see it.

oh no where did my message go?? [weeps]

Abridged version: at horrible girls, your poor DD - is she OK?

plus: second BT's suggestion about blocking his number - he has shown very clearly that he is not friend material

Can you block texts from a certain number then? I kept on getting random weird texts from someone who obviously had the wrong number for over a year, not constantly just now and then. I thought they'd work it out and never replied but eventually told them to stop texting me. Perhaps unsurprisingly I then got texts saying they didn't believe me as they'd been texting this number for months!! Eventually I had to be rather rude to get them to stop - a block would have been much easier!!

Have all the Dec07 had their 4yo MMRs then? DD2 had hers 10 days ago.

MMR is at 3.5yo here. DS has had his, back in June.

I am pretty sure you can block numbers, but I could be wrong?

yes I think you can block numbers too - not specifically for texts but for everything

Yes DS1 had his MMR booster earlier this year - all fine unlike the first one when he went mad for about 10 days

Birthday plans? Think clara's DD2 had a party this weekend? How did it go? DS1's difficulties mean a party is out of the question (every cloud...) so we're just having a birthday tea with grandparents

No you cant. If you have an iphone there is an app you can download to do it but not for a normal phone. You can get your provider to block all withheld calls if you are being hassled but not an individual number.

Advice of police is to save the number as something like IGNORE or DONOTANSWER, to let them know if you are being hassled so they can deal with it, or to change your own number.

However none of that is really neccesary in this case as I am not being hassled by him, he has just sent a couple of texts apologising to me and asked if we could meet to clear the air. And tbh I appreciate the apology because the hardest part about all of it was thinking that people thought I'd done something I hadn't, and at least now I know that they no longer think that and also know that he realised that he treated me badly and has apologised for that.

Yep, ds had his earlier in the year too, at the same time as his other boosters. Bit of a temp and a sore and red arm but otherwise ok.

DS had his party on Saturday, shared it with friend's ds. Shows how much ds has changed thisyear that we were able to have a party for him and for him to enjoy it! I found it stressful though! Especially as I'd done the food, cakes and books for party bags and friend's dh was doing all the running of it and games etc so through most of it I didn't have a clue what was going on (or who most of teh children were!) He handed out the food in a weird way so it tookforever and was really chaotic and I found that difficult to go along with but otherwise it all worked well!

Argghhh I hate this time of year run up to Christmas. Clients all want everything done yesterday, schools are organising morning teas, shared lunches and camping in the field left right and centre and for some reason people who are normally quite sane loose all common sense...sorry rant over!

Had DD's party on 3 Dec and her birthday not til 30 Dec

Spent most of the night in A&E with DS2 - very very scary but he is now fine. He woke up at 10.30 screaming with a temp of 40.8 - went to get him calpol and when I got back he was fitting, foaming at the mouth, eyes back in his head and DH couldn' hear him breathing. Phoned 999 and it took 8 minutes for them to ANSWER - cue me swearing down the phone at the operator woman - anyway eventually they arrived by which time DH had put DS2 in a bath of cold water (which we now know is what you're NOT supposed to do) and he had stopped fitting. Went to hospital in ambulance with DS2 still burning up and very distressed and 4 hours later they agreed to discharge him - it was 'just' a febrile convulsion and he seems OK today but scary does not even come close. Feel like I need some post-traumatic counselling!

Oh my skid how terrifying. Saw my friend's ds have a febrile convulsion once and it was really really awful to see. Panic about ds everytime his temp goes up because he never gets a bit of a temp it always shoots straight to 40+. How is he now? Hope you are feeling ok, it does stay with you for a long time when something so scary happens.

Thanks clairey

He was in again last night with suspected meningitis but thank God he is OK. It is only tonsilitis but I suppose because his temp is so high, that is what is making him so ill. Last night he had a temp of 40, mottled skin and feet turning blue, phoned NHS Direct and they told us to go straight to A&E - DH was there until 5am. I think I've aged about 20 years in 48 hours! It is DS1's bday today as well so feeling guilty that it has been overshadowed by this - OMG if I had known what parenthood would entail....

Skidd hope DS2 is okay now, how scary and that DS1 WAS ABLE T HAVE A NICE BIRTHDAY. excuse caps!

Much better today thanks [phew]

Skidd, how scary! DS2 had a couple of Febrile Convulsions when he was small and they are teriffying for us but the medics don't seem to be so much. The first time the ambulance didn't even take us to the hospital, just to the doctors surgery where they checked him over and sent me home! The second time was in the middle of the night and we did go into hospital but although he hasn't had one for years (touch wood) I still worry terribly when he gets a temperature. DD was really poorly this week and I slept on the end of her bed for 3 nights to make sure I was there if anything happened to her - DS2 and DD both get far hotter when poorly than DS1 does. I hope his tonsilitis clears up quickly and he is feeling better soon (and you can feel easier) x

Hi to everyone else, I have been lurking but work, house and millions of things needing doing for the school (including the PTA treasurer leaving mid-term so I had to take it on a week before the Christmas Fayre) have kept me busy!

medics don't seem to be worried so much even...

thanks beckle he is much much better, smiling and playing - thank goodness. Hope your DD is also on the mend. Re: febrile convulsions, I think they almsot always stop by age 6 so hopefully you are out of the danger zone with your DS2 (not that they're dangerous but you know what I mean...)