Dec 2007 - Little People, Large Strops

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

Will this do everyone?

Buzzy, your list of 'wellbeing' is interesting, I definitely feel at my most tired and lethargic during the week when it is just Miss E and I at home. During half-term and the week after (where we had DH's sister staying) I was much more motivated. I have been trying to do a few little projects (made DD some PJs) but I think I am too much of a perfectionist and get really fed up when I make mistakes so not sure how much good that does me!

Definitely for the best beckle (and yes, I know you all told me so well over a year ago!)

Good news on the planning

Am extremely bored right now, dd ill so have been stuck at home for 2 days now. DC monopolising tv, have no unread books, am also approaching ovulation so am feeling need to get out even more than usual. One friend has been v good at calling me/checking if I need anything and took ds out for half an hour earlier so I have had a teeny bit of communication with the outside world but it is times like this that being single is really really hard. Unfortunate timing too as could really have done with being busy this weekend...am managing not to wallow too much though.

Awww sorry to hear dd has been poorly FO! Hope she is better soon. She did look so pretty in her BM dress! And isn't your DS a handsome little chap too :)

DD is fine and DS adores her. He has been playing up a lot but he is very good with DD, loves to hold her and cuddle her!

Beckle - fingers crossed for your planning application!!

Is the new "wc" nice Clairey?! Not sure whether you mean literally or metaphorically...

Nice to see you back Beckle. Sounds to me like you get a "pick-up" from being around other adults. Maybe try and find a way to make that happen most days? Being a SAHM is one of the world's hardest jobs IMO from an emotional/mental perspective. Be kind to yourself!

Sorry you're feeling a bit low too clara. I've given myself permission reacently to "plan for being busy". Which may sound a bit strange but basically means I'm organising more support like a babysitter every second Sunday afternoon (local school-girl) so that I don't have to try and work in the evenings so much. I feel like a load's been lifted every so slightly.

Great job BT. Only natural that DS will play up a bit. I'm sure he will be fine as soon as things move into a new routine that he can recognise.

Miss B has been a holy terror today. I had to put her in time out after she spent the whole morning saying "I want...I don't want..." in a whine-y voice about absolutely everything. She spent 20 mins yelling at me to open the door (I was standing on the other side), kicking it, telling me I was a "naughty mummy" then eventually told me she was "ready now". Both DDs have had some funny virus since the middle of last week, running temps, bit of a cough but nothing much more.

New wc was very friendly and chatted to ds. Didn't make me go phwoar though

And the dc were upset it wasn't THE wc and asked when he was going to come and see them, bit upsetting having to try to explain to them he wouldn't be coming to see them again.

FO - sad that your dcs will miss your old wc, but they are little and they will move on!!

Good news here, DS has been back to eye consultant and he is happy with his eye as it is no longer weeping so he has been discharged now!

Hello! Just back from (rainy) holiday and marking my place to catch up later

Hello skid Good time despite the rain?

Good news about daniels eye bt, must be a relief.

BT that's fab news about Daniel's eye

Hi Skidd

Clairey, it is sad the DCs miss WC but you will be surprised how quickly they move on, 6 months after BIL has split up with is long term GF the children had totally forgotten who she was and she was a huge part of their lives, its sad

Buzzy, how are the girls now? Are they over the virusy thing yet? Miss B sounds very much like Miss E on a bad day! They are delights at times aren't they?! Although DD is becoming very much a little girl now she is still having quite a few 'toddler' moments! Perhaps people do give me a lift, I usually spend around half and hour a day chatting to friends at the school but I get edgy if I have something planned for every day during the week, I do like to have a lot of time at home - or maybe I don't? Hmm...

I have been back to the doctor this week (I had no choice as I have a nasty bout of thrush I can't get rid of (due I think to being very stressed with mortgage/planning and overfull diary currently) - sorry for TMI). He has decided that it is perhaps more anxiety that I am suffering from along with a bit of mild depression. The treatment is the same though and he has prescribed me some mild ADs to try and sort me out. I haven't started them yet though as he's told me I may feel nauseous for the first week and I've got Take That to see tomorrow and a funeral on Friday to go to... The doctor said it was really strange to see someone who was letting him make the decisions about treatment, apparently most people go in and ask to be put on ADs! I also have slightly low iron stores although am not anaemic so I'm on the spatone to try and build it up a bit.

Beckle - I am glad you went to the GP, hopefully the ADs won't take too long to kick in and you'll start feeling more on an even keel than than you have been.

DS continues to be a bit challenging, he is so sweet and lovely most of the time but when he wants to he can be down right stubborn at just the wrong moment He does adore his baby sister though

Thanks BT, I hope so. Not looking forward to the week or so of nausea the doctor promised me though (DH will NOT care be particularly supportive if I am feeling a bit rough). I'm starting the tablets tomorrow.

Daniel sounds like he is pretty typical for a 3 year old to me, my boys were both mostly lovely and so is Miss Moo but they all have stubborn streaks too - DD's is the strongest, she is a bugger bit wilful at times. I try not to let her win when she is being stubborn and mostly I can out-stubborn her. I do pick my battles though! Its great that DS adores his sister! Makes life so much easier - DS1 definitely did not adore DS2 and still doesn't. I'm hoping that one day he'll realise that DS2 could be the best friend he'll ever have.

Just read the info sheet with the ADs, they're nasty things

Hi Beckle, hope the ADs aren't making you feel too bad and DH is being suportive. I do think it is really important to work out the things that make you feel happy - you and no-one else. If you like being at home, could the problem be that you rarely have time on your own at home?

I have to say that DD2 is not actually that stubborn compared to many children I've seen. The problem is more that she's very competitive and she and her sister have a great knack for winding each other up.

BT, any more pictures of Cara for Facebook?

How was the holiday Skid?

How are you feeling now Clairey, post-wc?

Had dd's award ceremony this morning. Was really lovely but my camera wasn't working properly, so didn't really get pics

Beckle how are you feeling now? Hope you aren't experiencing too many side effects.

Buzzy am up and down really, have been a few occasions where I've really felt the loss of his friendship- like for dd's award etc he would have been someone who would have really cared about it and been proud of her so it was hard not calling him to tell him about it, and his dd's birthday last week I wanted to wish her a happy birthday and couldn't, just stuff like that really. But mostly I'm ok and dealing with it fairly well I think. Haven't been to see his nan for a bit though cos find it hard with all the photos of him and hearing her talking about him and asking if I've spoken to him

How are you and xnm(?!) getting on as friends?

Yes BT we need more photos!

Hello

No time for MN atm but will be back soon after craziness of organising a 10K is over (this Sunday)

Well done to Caiela

[hugs] to beckle - I hope side effects aren't too bad, if you have decided to take them? And I hope you can get your DH on side and supporting you, that is more important than ADs IMO, and finally I really really hope you can get some therapy/counselling as well as/ instead of ADs

BT - tell us more about baby Cara - what's she like? How is she sleeping? Who does she look like? [tried to ignore yearning for another baby]

[hugs] for clairey and clara too

Wish me luck for Sunday [gulp]

Still waiting for DH to get his finger out and finish processing photos!
Have told ghim we need to take more photos this weekend.

Cara really is a delight, she is such an easy baby compared to ds. She sleeps for 3-4 hours then is awake and feeding on an off for 2-3 hours. I feed her around 11pm when I go to bed, and she is only waking 1-2 times in the night, absolute bliss, DS woke up more like 3 times a night! DS has been getting in to bed with us as well, so glad we have the bedside cot. She sleeps well in it (or in the Moses basket downstairs) but sometimes I have to cuddle her before she'll really settle. She loves my sling, I have a Moby wrap and it is fabulous! Wish I had it for DS.

Had more meltdowns from DS< with him screaming the place down and hitting himself and the furniture. Plus have has to discourage him from picking DD up! But he is still enjoying school and most of the time he is my sweet and lovely boy.
He was so funny the other day - I had Cara in my lap and said to her "I love you Cara" turned to DS and said "and I love you, Daniel, too!" He looked at me outraged and said "I not Daniel 2, I 3!!" He keeps talking abot how he will be 4 on his next birthday and that he will be getting a bike

hellloooo?

Hi Skidd, how was the 10K in the end?

Is it just that we're all too busy or perhaps 3.5 years is a really easy age and we have nothing to say?!!
Anyone else have problems with their LO (age 3.5) not being able to moderate pressure when doing things like drawing and jigsaw puzzles? DD2 pushes down so hard she makes holes in the paper and the jigsaw pieces spray everywhere. I'm not sure what techniques to use to get her to realise that less pressure is better! Perhaps she's been playing duplo too much

Beckle, how's it going with the ADs?

BT, Cara sounds lovely. I'm not remotely broody though so that's a good thing!

I haven't seen the ex-NM for about 3 weeks however our trip to the Cook Islands is only a week away now so we'll have a whole week together then. I suspect it may just fade away to nothing after that though. It just seems a lot of effort to get together when there's no real imperative and we're both busy.

Clairey, its always hard when there are other people you have to stop seeing as well as the exBF. Are you still buzzing from DD's award?!

Skid have another one for me! I'll even send you chocolate again How did the 10k go? you nutter

Cara sounds lovely BT, the moby wraps are great aren't they, would not have survived ds' babyhood without my wraps!

I bought a wii with my birthday money and ds is a bit addicted to it, at least it keeps him active I suppose Quite good for fine motor skills too (or so I tell myself when I'm having a crap mother day and can't be bothered to fight with him to turn it off)

DD has gone up another reading level (now on purple, ORT stage 7/8), her report and parents eve were both good too though she is still too quiet and her writing is crap

Am annoyed with myself for still being affected by the wc, haven't contatced him at all so am doing well on that front but still REALLY miss him and don't know why I can't just get over it and move on. it's not like he was my actual boyfriend ffs!

Hello buzzy and clairey so nice to get your news

buzzy - that sounds a bit difficult with exNM - do you feel like you can;t really bothered going on holidy with him now? It was a really nice idea. I guess the week will either cement your friendship or else show that you will continue along your own separate paths...

clairey - my DD is also on stage 7 and has rubbish writing - not quiet though to put it mildly... I find myself getting slightly irritated by her writing because it is just because she can;t be othered to make an effort - in fact that is true of her generally I think. Trying not to care, don;t want to be an awful pushy mother...

Don;t beat yourself up for missing the WC - of course it is hard and you miss him. You are doing brilliantly and have definitely made the right decision - I suppose you just need to give it time - and make sure you have lots of stuff going on to distract you.

10K went brilliantly (see runjericho.com if interested) - so pleased it's over though and I have time to MN do other stuff

All else good here although slightly dreading summer hols...

How are you beckle? Have you started on the ADs?

How is Cara BT? We have two newborn neighbours - both gorgeous and does make my slightly broody (although won't be taking you up on your offer clairey )

How are you clara? How is the course going?

Buzzy - I hope you have a good week away, I guess it will be the final test of whether you and your ex-nm will still have some kind of friendship or whether it could go deeper again?

Freaky - agree don't beat yourself up, you were emotionally invested in the wc so you need to give yourself time to heal.

Skidd - wow 2 newborns, are you feeling broody Cara is fab, she sleeps 3-4 hours at a time on the night, 2-3 hours during the day but she has a lot of wakey periods where she generally wants to be fed or held. She is getting better at being in the bouncy chair awake so I can do other things though.

hi everyone
sorry I have been quiet lately, I have been trying to finish my first essay reflecting on my birth. The reflecting on the birth bit was ok but then writing about reflective practise was horrible (Gibbs cycle anyone?). Much too academic for me! Anyway I think I have got there in the end, my tutor has seen my latest draft and said it could go as it is but has made some suggestions so will work on that.
Well done on the 10k Skid! I keep promising myself I will do it next year. I want to try running (to lose some weight) and definitely need goals.
Clairey - I don't know what to suggest about wc except to give you a big hug and tell you you're doing the right thing and eventually it will get easier. Just keep as busy as you can - easy for me to say, I know, not being a lone parent..
Btw I think my dd is on ORT level 7 as well! (she's just read the Chinese Adventure and was about to read the Roman Adventure when they took her books away....Anyway all the stories appear to revolve around the magic glowing key these days!). She is also the best reader in her class, I think, so that must mean your dd's are pretty bright too (gosh I feel terrible posting this as it all sounds so boastful but if not here then where ;)) (at least we know we are in good company with Buzzy and her brainy dd!)
BT - sounds like you are really enjoying Cara, which is lovely. I certainly enjoyed dd2 much more than dd1. I sometimes worry that this will effect how I feel about them as they grow up. I love them both but sometimes feel closer to dd2 - but this could be because she is much more affectionate than her sister and also of course we spend so much more 1:1 time together.
Beckle - I hope you're feeling ok now, have the AD's started working?
Sorry if I have left anyone out. Sometimes it's wierd seeing updates on FB and then reading you on here as I think we are a lot more honest here than on FB!

hey clara, well done for getting the essay done - I can't imagine essay writing now - must have been a bit of a shock!

Indeed where can we boast about our clever DDs if not here? Wierd thing about reading levels, as clairey has said, is that they seem to be able to read much much more difficult books than their level - but I guess that is so that they can concentrate on enjoying the story? As long as they are enjoying it I guess that is the main thing.

That's interesting what you say about enjoying your DD2 more, as I always had the impression that you were a bit closer to DD1 - maybe because DD2 sounds like she is a bit more troublesome? Speaking of favouritism, I had a dream that DS1 died the other night and I was wandering around grief-stricken mumbling about how I never admitted it but he?s always been my favourite deep down ? felt so guilty when I woke up and was extra nice to DD for all of about two hours

BT ? 3-4 hours is pretty good at her age ? are you feeling relatively well-rested? I remember that stage when you feel like you will never be able to put them down but they do gradually get used to it. How is DS doing?

OK ladies some advice please: we are supposed to be going to visit ILs for a week at the beginning of August. I have loads of work to do, and DH has said that if I like I can stay here and work and he will take all 3 to his parents. What to do? On one hand I would LOVE a whole week to get loads done plus have some time to myself and a few nights out. On the other hand, a whole WEEK without my babies ? will I end up sobbing myself to sleep every night? The longest I?ve ever left them is 3 days (DD only) and I cried a lot (she was only 9 months). It is only DS2 I am really worried about ? he is almost 17 months and a right old mummy?s boy? I would ask in AIBU but far too scared?

I would like to say it was a no-brainer, Skid. A whole week child (and snoring husband) free? Just think about the quality of sleep you could get! You'll look a decade younger at the end of it (err, or at least, I would!).
However I know what you meant about a week away from the children. Lots of people do it though - one of my friends has just been whisked off to an all-inclusive resort in Antigua by her husband for their tenth wedding anniversary and funnily enough she didn't turn it down . She did admit she would miss her daughters though.

Oh and just in case anyone was wondering (I know, your eyes were glazing over!) I was reflecting on the births of my children, not on my own birth for the essay! When I read it back it looked a bit wierd. I don't think I remember much about my first birth.

Don't we all have clever dd's

Definitely more honest on here than fb! Which is strange when you think about it as is less private really. But I would never dream of posting a status update on fb saying "is really missing the wc" but can come on here and say it quite easily

I did get that you weren't reflecting on your own birth Clara!

Hmm not sure I could do a week without the dc, though I'm getting quite good at a night or two these days. Could you split the week skid or would it be too much travelling and not enough working time?