Dec 2007 - Little People, Large Strops

[strandedatseasonsgreetings]

Will this do everyone?

PS do you have a labour thread?

Yes in chat!!

Nothing though has properly stalled :(

labour thread here BT's that is not mine

Sorry it wasn't working out with the bf buzzy, but great you can be friends.

No news here, my children have been horrible through most of half term. whinging monsters. They stayed 3nights at exhs the first weekend though so that's probably why.

boo nothing seems to be happning with BT

sorry to hear about your (ex) new man buzzy - but it sounds like you made the right decision - you never sounded very convinced about him - but he sounds like a lovely person so that is great you are going to be friends

clairey - it is awful when they are whiney. Bet you're glad to have them back at school

Congrats caz10!!

BT go go go! I think maybe you have as no posts for quite a few hours now...

Ooh this is very exciting. Let's hope she's in the throws of labour and not on her way to hospital...

Nah still at home have updated chat thread!!

Hi everyone, BT, how exciting that things are getting started for you (and hopefully moving along a bit faster now)! I'll keep my eye out for your song on FB in the morning - eep, exciting!

Buzzy, all the stuff about the ears is interesting, I do unfortunately suffer from motion sickness though, I can't travel far in the back of a car without feeling dizzy and sick although I manage boats okay. Like BT I have wondered whether I have some form of dyspraxia, my Mother was fairly certain I have it. She said it was linked in a way to dyslexia too (wish I'd paid more attention) which does run in my family, both my brothers and my Mum have/had it although I don't. I really do think that we are all at different points on the same scales though and some need a bit of help and others can muddle through!

Shame about your BF but it sounds like you have made a good friend which is always good, can't have too many of them!

Clara, how is the course going? I can honestly say I have never thought about being an antenatal teacher! I'm not a people person, faaaar too shy in RL.

I wonder if its cheeky to ask you for some advice (seeing as I hardly ever post these days), I have been to see the doctor this week about how tired and can't be arsedy I've been feeling, it has been going on for over a year and I put it down to my thyroid op but I have just had my yearly blood test and my TSH levels are normal. The doctor asked some other questions and thinks I may be depressed (although he said I don't look depressed) and gave me the choice of taking anti-depressants or having some blood tests (glucose, coeliac and about 3 others I can't remember). I plumped for the blood tests but if they come back normal he's basically said I have the choice of the ADs or blaming the tiredness/CBAness etc on having 3 children and just getting on with it. I don't know whats best to do! DH is dead against ADs but a friend I spoke to thinks it may be the kick up the bum I need. I did think about starting a thread but thought there might be just too much advice!

I have a thread in Chat,still no baby, been in latent phase of labour since lunchtime yesterday!

Beckle - sorry to hear that, depression is horrible. But I think very common and definitely made worse by the stresses of looking after children, and tiredess. I went through a really bad stage a couple of years ago but my gp said she wouldn't recommend AD's, instead she recommended counselling. Unfortunately I only managed about 6 or 7 sessions before we moved overseas but I do think it was incredibly useful and I would have continued. The other downside is that it's not cheap - and trying to get it on the NHS unless you are seriously depressed is almost impossible. Have you thought about counselling or do you think it's more physical than emotional (if that makes sense)?
I am sort of slightly in limbo with the course because after the weekend workshop, I have only really been doing reading. However tonight I will be observing my first antenatal class so really excited about that, and next week as well as a few more classes I have a tutorial so I think it'll get me back on track. I think I've been really lucky to have finally found something that I really enjoy doing. Tbh the fact that I am teaching about birth and parenting is a bonus - I just enjoy working with people and for myself. I realised when I was a civil servant that what I really hated was being told what to do!

beckle - sorry to hear you're feeling down. I second what clara says about therapy/counselling and tbh I think it is pretty irresponsible of your GP to offer ABs but no therapy. I got a referral a few years ago for CBT without being severely depressed and I think a good GP will refer you. Group therapy is a good option as it is cheaper so I think the waiting list might be shorter. Do YOU think you're depressed? Do YOU think ABs would be a good idea? Maybe make your next appt with a different GP who might be more open to other options? In the meantime, be very kind to yourself and try and find time to do stuff you like, to relax and to have a break. You sound like you are a very giving person, but I think it is important to also think about your own needs xx

Those of you have ever experienced depression like feelings -and indeed everyone! - might be interested in looking at or even participating in this study on the "causes" of "wellbeing" - i.e. what things make people feel better. www.wellbeingstudy.com. The findings are not on the website as the study is still continueing but if you participate you get sent preliminary findings. I read about this in a NZ womens magazine and in that article it listed some of the key things that the study has found make people feel happier. These included: looking at beautiful things, watching children laughing/dancing, company of friends (good conversation), sitting or walking in sunshine, completing a project (satisfaction), experiencing new things, exercise. I must say I've referred back to this list a few times when I've been feeling down and then taken a positive action - which might be as simple as going for a drive/walk along Wellington's beautiful south coast, or making a "date" to meet a friend for coffee, or planned a dinner party for a few friends - and it has really helped me. I'm quite an introspective person so I haven't found 1-on-1 counselling that useful, but a group might be better. I have never tried ADs sorry.

I took ADs when on ML with DS. The problem is, yes they should offer some sort of psychotherapy but depending where you are the waiting lists are ridiculous - I had to wait 4 months for an appointment and then they told me I couldn't bring DS so had to cancel it - I had absolutely no childcare short of DH taking the time off, but it was far too short notice, letter came informing me of the appointment in 2 days time
If I need such again, I am going to go private I think.

Hi - BT's had a little girl Kara, after about a week of labour! Still waiting to hear detalis but I think she was born naturally, albeit in hospital. Congrats!

BT - CONGRATS!!! Welcome to baby Cara! I think we've been collectively holding our breath - this thread has been so quiet :)

Two more big earthquakes in Chch today but no deaths this time thankfully. More collapsed buildings though, 30000 without power or water.

Baby Cara lovely

Thank you

Photos on FB just need DH to change the settings on the album so you can see them!

Gorgeous! Great work BT :)

How's everything over there now buzzy?

Proud mummy moment- dd been selected to receive award for successful start to school life

That is something to be really proud of Clairey!

The poor people in Chch, life is still so hard. The 6.3 EQ on Monday was actually the same size as the Feb one that killed nearly 200. In this case because the whole of the CBD remains cordoned off while they demolish it there were only 46 injured, no-one killed. But 50,000 people remain without running water a week later, more than that are using chemical toilets, another 500 homes approx have been labelled un-liveable, to be demolished. And they say there's a 30% chance of another similar sized aftershock. I tell you, its been a real eye-opener for me just how horrible EQs are, not just the orginal big shock but the awfulness of the ongoing uncertainty, never knowing when the next one's coming and how can you start a re-build in that situation? At the moment they're mostly still demolishing and thinking about what might be re-built and what might be just left forever as bare land as the land itself is so unstable (they call it "liquifaction"). I'm much less sanguine about living in Wellington now I can see the impact of it played out daily on our TVs. We've always been told Wellington is more likely to have a big quake than Chch...

Very quiet on here isn't it?!

I've swapped the girls bedrooms over which has provided a bit of excitement in this house :) I did a big clearout as part of that and am currently selling a whole load of baby stuff on NZ's eBay. BT if only I could give you my 3 bags full of girly baby clothes!!

I dragged the girls from my bookgroup along to a fundraiser quiz night for DD1's Gifted Ed school tonight. It was quite fun, although cold because it was in the school hall and they had no heating on and its about 4 deg outside! We came 4th out of 9 teams and came away with a game of Pictionary :)

What are you all up to? Nice start to summer there?

FO - Yey for your DD, that is something to be very proud of :)

BB - there has been hardly any news coverage of Monday's quake, just not news here any more. The poor people of Chch, how much more will they have to go through :( Thanks for updating us!

DS got his quarterly report and he is very clever apparently He is advanced with verbal skills and comprehension, but has a short attention span and sometimes doesn't listen - though is this not typical of all 3yo?
DD is doing well, had 5 day check today, she has lost 6% of her birth weight.

Hi - wow where is everyone? Thought I would write something to stop this thread disappearing off the bottom of the post-natal threads....
BT - glad it's going well with Cara (although that was a while ago so hopefully everything's going ok still - how is feeding?)
Buzzy - god that sounds awful. It must be very worrying, for everyone. We were always on earthquake alert in the Caribbean, especially after Haiti. The girls used to get earthquake drills at school and dh always said we were too relaxed about EQ's as we were very good at having stocks during the hurricane season but of course an earthquake can hit whenever.
Clairey - well done your dd! I'm looking forward to school reports coming up soon although am a little worried about dd1 as she is apparently getting teased by some of the older kids because she wears shorts instead of a dress to school
I am feeling a little down at the moment although probably just tiredness. Have been observing a LOT of antenatal classes recently which I am enjoying but they are either in the evenings or all day on Saturdays so it does take it out of you. I am also feeling a little overwhelmed by all the work I need to do and how little quality time I have. Writing an essay just seems beyond me at the moment.....
Hope everyone else is ok? (alive?)

Stranded - I am here! Sorry you are feeling a little down, you are doing a lot of hard work with this course and looking after the dd's so no wonder you are tired!

Cara is doing well, 10 days old, cluster feeds a lot but I do get 2-4 hour stretches of sleep out if her as well so not too bad!

I'm here too.
Sorry you're down Clara, hopefully it is just tiredness as you say.

Friend's wedding at the weekend was lovely, dd did really well as the only little bridesmaid

Have now severed all contact with the wc...his gf didn't want him seeing or contacting me but he insisted he still wanted to be friends. He said he'd agreed not to contact me or come over but that he'd still respond if I contacted him and that he'd talk to me if he saw me in the street etc Told him that wasn't friendship to me and that I didn't need that kind of one sided relationship, he was really arguing that he still cared about me and wanted us to be friends but I kind of felt like he just wants to keep me emotionally invested in him without giving anything back. So said unless he was going to be a proper friend then I'd rather not have any contact at all...it's hard, and it hurts but had to happen really and maybe this is what it will take for me to finally move on. Have a new wc now too so no reason to see him.

Firstly CONGRATULATIONS! to BT Cara is gorgeous, I'm glad she's being good and letting you get a bit of rest now and again! How is Daniel doing as a big brother?

Sorry I've been off for a while, especially after posting an 'advice please' message - I've been tied up under mountains of paperwork trying to sort out planning permission and mortgages etc... the planning has now been approved (now got to sort building regulations apparently) and the mortgage is now in the hands of the lender - keeping fingers crossed we get it through soon!

Thank you guys for all your advice, I also think its really bad that the GP will just offer ADs without trying to get to the root of it. I did have a little counselling when DD was around 6 months old and I hit a low spot and since having her I have done 4 or 5 of those post-natal surveys and seem to score higher each time . I think I am going to go back to see the GP and ask a little more about it, I just can't go on feeling/being like this and, try as I might, I can't seem to pick myself up on my own.

Clara, sorry to hear you're feeling down too, I think not having enough quality time (either for yourself or with your family) can easily lead you to feel down and tired, especially when your 'to do' pile is huge. Hopefully it is just tiredness and you'll perk up again soon, can you take a little break from your course at all?

Clairey, your DD looked really beautiful in her bridesmaid dress Sounds like in the long run it might be the best thing for you to cut contact with WC, he still seems as though he wants to have his cake and eat it which is just not fair on you (or his GF to be honest). What's the new WC like?!