FESH Spa & Creche - Queue-jumpers accepted with open arms

[AlpinePony]

How exciting for a new thread - two FESHspring due shortly!

Ironic non? Most of us spend months if not years wishing we were pregnant - then it's all "get this fuckin' baybee out of me now!". I assume you're rubbing raspberries on your cervix, trampolining and tweaking your nipples? I think it was rots who was caught sat on her birthing ball twiddling! I take it doing the sechs is out of the question given your current mood - although obv. is not mandatory to do it with TG if that gives you a better feel about it. I'll be done with Tom Hardy in about 20 minutes.

When are we moving to our FESH man-free castle?

moo - here's one for you www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/1101565-3rd-degree-tear-merit-cesarian

Ah well shit night again last night. hey ho. swits shut up with your one waking a night will you, there's a love .

Are you in the 4 month nightmare scenario cos?

hmm, possibly, he's 14 weeks, but was 2 weeks late and I did read somewhere that the growth spurts are calculated from due date. Not sure if that is total bollocks or not?

'Ello FESHes. Hmmm, maybe lounging around in here will make my baybee realise it's late and decide to come out....

Can I do a straw poll of those of you wot went into labour pliz - what time of day did it happen? I heard the other day that it is usually at night & thought I would see if that is so. Now I've got that into my head I am waking up sans contractions each morning going 'aaahhhh - dammit'

mas everything went a bit weird for me overnight. Hard to explain but I felt quite strange and was up to the loo even more than usual. Even contemplated just getting up and getting on with housework at 4am (this was midsummer mind). Then I finally got a few hours' sleep and woke up shortly before 7 with the start of my show. I thought I'd been having strong Braxton Hicks, but when I went in for monitoring that day, I was told I was having lots of irregular contractions that I wasn't feeling at all. HTH

cunty she has breakfast and tea. I'm was considering introducing a small lunch today, but it all went tits up earlier. She's drugged*, swaddled, dummied and asleep now .

I've been doing yet more reading on self-soothing etc. Squeaks will be going into her own room as soon as all my Christmas visitors have cleared out and I don't want to be doing distance dummy runs. It's such a mare because she goes to sleep, for naps and at night, pretty well from awake. But getting her to take naps longer than half an hour unswaddled, or to go back to sleep from ridiculously alert at 3am is a bugger. I know she doesn't need food. Left in a sleeping bag, she bounces all over the cot and this is before she's learned to roll/crawl. [weary emoticon]

Sorry, I'm whinging. I do love her sometimes . The joys of having what the Baby Whisperer calls a spirited baby...

*Calpol - bloody teething.

mas I've heard being around small babies can trigger labour. Wanna take borrow one? I can be there in about an hour and a half I reckon.

I fear mas's house is about to look like that scene from The Simpsons where the babies line the shelves a la "The Birds".

curly! Happy to give it a go - but suspect you to be fibbing in the hope of getting an afternoon lying on the sofa eating christmas tree decorations and swigging baileys from the bottle....

mas my waters broke and cx started at 9pm ish. I would have posted that about 5 mins ago except that Rastus, playing on my lap, spontaneously grabbed both my ears and wouldn't let go. Much mirth

mas. But I have heard it elsewhere. A friend was besieged by induction-ees in the hospital after she gave birth. They were all so desperate to get things moving.

Appear to have lost a sentence from earlier post. Meant to ask how many solid meals Rastus and Bear get, alps and cunty?

tues that made me laff!!!

MB on daytime nap strike. Little bugger tyke!

I somehow missed that cunty. Glad I'm not the only one with a child who enjoys inflicting pain. Squeaks now grabs my face, mouth, neck skin or whatever, and giggles if I scream "ouch".

sorry for sleep stress silv.

I'm being a lazy fucker today. I figure if I only have to spend two days in eight alone with the child, I might as well do sweet FA other than care for her on those days. On days SFF is home I'll hand her over and attempt to put my life in order. (clean house, sort finances, mountain of paperwork etc). All the stuff I've been ignoring for months needs to be done in one week. Don't fancy my chances but I have to clear the shit so Christmas guests have somewhere to sleep.

WIBU to demand he brings food home rather than me cook?

Just the one cas at 5.15pm so that it settles before bed. HV told me to shunt it on from lunchtime because it will help him sleep better - it's done no such thing and I'm sure she knows what's what.

Was thinking about a breakfast snack too with the intention of starting to wean off late morning BF. May wait till after xmas when he'll be 6 months and I'll be less frazzled. Want him confident with food before childminder has him in March.

It presents me with a dilemma because I'd quite like to carry on the early morning and late night feeds as BF - my mum did it and she said she had no problem with supply but I'm worried I might dry up. Plus I'll have to express at work which doesn't make me want to dance a jig. I may have to bite the bullet and wean myself of BF too

Mas with first baby I woke up with cramps, 2nd baby they did not start until afternoon. Like you I used to wake up and wonder if today would be the day and as there were no cramps I presumed not, ha was caught out with that theory

Peppa and I have just spent 7 hrs shopping at Westfield to finish off the Christmas Shopping. She liked it. She liked Zara the most (presents for me) and The Entertainer the least and I think she is going to like shopping with her mummy in years to come - nice one. The parent rooms really are great with the private feeding rooms but they need to empty the bins more as there is an odour of shit as the day goes on.

I have just watched Deal or no Deal from start to finish and I get it. I didn't previously get it

curly He gets solids around 12:30. When I'm on xmas hols I'm planning to start a "breakfast" solid at around 9 am. Weetabix + milk? Don't know what he's allowed but isn't Weetabix the most free from shite?

MIL touchdown in 24 hours. I have to pick her up from Cologne and zer Germans have changed the law on winter tyres, it'll be snowing and my baybee doesn't have a passport. I'm getting winter tyres in the morning, passport less likely.

i only give squeaks solids after she's finished a milk feed. Has been after second feed of day but i'm now thinking half hour after first bottle so we eat together. She has pureed fruit mixed with baby porridge or, for the first time today, heinz fruit and yoghurt baby breakfast. I figure as we never make our own breakfast from scratch she might as well have something from a box too.

It's veg for dinner. After her late afternoon bottle. Don't want to feed too late in case she goes off her 7ish bed time bottle. She's had more of an appetite today, but really doesn't have much enthusiasm for anything that has to be drunk. I'll maybe now hold off on lunch till the new year then try finger food we can share to save having to make two lunches. I can see much mess ensuing as it's too bloody cold in this house to strip her down.

Good luck with the baby smuggling alps.

Shopping trip sounds good okes.

Mas contractions started about 3am, ver intermittently.

Am feeling a bit down this afternoon, not sure why. well iknow why, sllep and lack of it, but not sure why this afternoon so much. cunty been thinking about whay you said, no we're not in 4 month sleep regression because I'm not really sure how his sleep could get worse, he's just a shit sleeper.

also, what do your lot wear in the car? I keep overheating him. this afternoon he was in long sleeve vest & babygrow, coat and blanket. got home, boiling hot, damp hair etc. I think it's because he screamed for most of the journey though....

I just feel a bit shit at this being a mum thing today, been meeting up with nct group and he always seems much less happy than the others :(

cossie He's not unhappy - you're a bloody ace mum. As for the car - maybe it is just his hysteria today because if you had the heating blasting you too would be feeling dry-mouthed and horrible with it blasting out at you. If he's not getting out of the car or it's a "night" drive he'll just be in clothes/night stuff with a blanket tucked in over the straps. If we're off out somewhere then I'll have his coat/booties/hat on - but if we're on a journey of say over 15 minutes I'll take the coat off. Blahddy minefiled this! Lack of sleep kills everyone and don't forget - it's the longest day next week and christmas, that's enough to make Mary fucking Poppins slit her wrists!

curly His routine is currently:
6:30 - milk
9:30-10 - milk
12:30 - food
3 - milk
6:30 - milk
9:30-10 milk

Oh can we have some more husband bashing pls? Shaun the Sheep ran out of batteries on Sunday morning at around 5am. I asked jb to change the batteries later that morning. TONIGHT after I threw Shaun at him (it's been sat on his work bench since sunday) he announces "oh we haven't got any batteries". 72 fucking hours?

On the plus side, he's starting work at 5am and it looks like it's going to be "one of those nights" with Bear. Is this anything to do with the fact I was out all day?

Can you substitute him with someone else?

Cos I tend to go what alps does re car journies. All in one thang tends to stay on if we are doing short trips but comes off for longer ones but always tend to have a blanket over.

My cats are doing my head in. They used to get quite a lot of attnetion from me until Mini Okes came along, now Peppa is here they get zero attention from me, thankfully Mr C showers them with loads. I tend to always have 1 or 2 children clambering over me and post 7.30pm I really do not want the cooking fats trying to sit on my chest too. I would be useless with a dog.

Cossie I am so with you. I am actually too sleep deprived and ill to post much but I am with you.