HKZ, dh and I are working on a list of things to discuss, evidence and what we want the outcomes we want are. I keep a journal for ds now, everything he eats and drinks (for the Paed and dietician) as well as any incidents or things of note to do with school, coversations with the teacher and any phone calls with other professionals. I feel like his full time PA these days. 
Realised in the middle of the night, that they have arranged the meeting 25 minutes before I have to collect the boys, probably so that we can't go over half and hour. I am going to call their bluff and get my Mum to collect them, so when they say, "oh you have to go now", I can say "no its fine, I have arranged for someone else to collect them, we can stay for as long as is needed". [evil grin emoticon]
Had ds2's parents' evening last night, his teacher is ds1's old year 2 teacher. She said she is really pleased with him, has nothing negative to report and wishes there were more like him in her class. 
She also said she can see tonnes of potential in him and really wants him to take-off this year, so she can see it happen and be involved.
After him falling right to to the bottom of the class in reception year and then having extra help from both the school and me to catch up all through last year, she told me they considered putting him in the top group for literacy and numeracy, but felt it might overface him having come such a long way in a short time. She said he could easily manage the work, but they didn't want to put him off, so decided to not to do it straight away.
Apparently he is currently sitting comfortably at the top of his sets and they think they will be able to move him up soon.
She also said she can't believe how different he is to ds1. She is one of those people that keeps saying things like "ds1, ah yes, you poor things, it must be so hard for you" and making sympathetic noises. It really gets my goat! She did also say that she loves ds1 as well, but he was a lot harder work than ds2, despite being naturally academic and sitting at the top of everything without having to try too much. Its true, she did have a soft spot for ds1, mainly because he aced all his tests, including his SATs. Shame it didn't extend to helping us getting him assessed, even after we raised it with her directly on a couple of occasions and she agreed with us that there was some sort of problem.
Ed Psych is in school this morning. I have been in housework overload, keeping myself busy and trying not to think about it.
Did I mention that ds1's teacher effectively told me that she thinks the only reason he behaves the way he does is because he can't handle not being the centre of attention! She said "I think he's behaving badly because at school he is one of many, whereas obviously at home with you, well, he gets, I mean, he is one of .." I cut her off there and said "one of three!". Not to mention that, as is the way with many children that have ASD, he is much worse at home than he is at school. She has never seen him have a meltdown - now that would be an eye opener for her.
I had the same with his year 1 teacher. She told me at the first parents evening that she thought he was demanding because he is spoiled (not in so many words, but made it very clear). I then helped out in her class for most of the year and she told me that she was sorry, she had got us completely wrong, that she could see we have strict rules, boundaries and consequences and ds1 is in no way spoiled. Again, she didn't think it was worth getting the flipping SENCO involved at that point and said she didn't feel there was a 'problem' with him. So many missed opportunities for early invervention. It makes my blood boil to think about it. 
I think they see dh in his tie-dye, hat collection and furry ski-jacket and me in my Doc Martens and assume we are hippy parents that indulge their children and let them do whatever they want. So much for not judging people on what they look like.
Sorry 
rant over. Its all a bit up there for me at the moment, hopefully I will be able to come down after the Ed Psch feedback and IEP review meeting.
Tink, you will be very proud of me. I have bought almost all of ds2's christmas presents, half of ds1's and a few bits for dd. I have bought dd some wooden puzzles, a fairy toadstool house from elc (she is getting a fairy carriage to go with it) and some books. Dh wants her to have the ELC light and sounds campervan as well, so I might ask Mum to get her that or may buy it and keep it for her birthday. I would really like her to have the as she goes bonkers if she see's the advert and she already loves dh's .
We are making gifts for our families. Each household is getting a personalised home made hamper.
They are all getting a kilner jar filled with a layered christmas morning muffin mix, with a wooden spoon attached by raffia. All they have to do is tip the mix into a bowl, make a well in the middle, add an egg then bake for 20 minutes to have lovely warm muffins on christmas morning.
We are also making winter chutney, mini christmas cakes, mince pies, truffles and stained glass biscuit decorations. We will also make and include some salt-dough and felt christmas decorations and I'll buy a token gift for all the children in each house.
My family will love it, dh's won't appreciate it, but tough. We are broke and I want to do something to get into the festive spirit.