FESH spa and creche: Is anyone thinking of the children yet?

[SkiHorseWonAWean]

New Fred. Apologies for dullness of title - we need curly for witticisms.

ski I haz no microwave innit... but we will stand bottle in warm water instead.. I leaves them to it I reckon..

Hello - have I missed anything? Sadly my week of bed rest is at an end and I have had to drag myself screaming and kicking from it to Waitrose today. I have enjoyed lying-in and having stuff brought to me much more than I thought I would Especially nice was when Clucky brought me lots of smelly cheese with mould on it and pate, complete with brown bread (for fibre) and donuts for pud . I have eventually grown bored of Stilton and runny eggs for every meal now though.

Other things that have happened while I have been in my confinement - bloody horse has been put in exactly the same situation that caused him to jump the fence last time and has jumped the fence again but knackered his leg, the giant winter water barrel and the fence in doing so. I have told ma Jennie there will be no horses who jump into the yard round here - what if children were playing in the yard? (Obviously there are never unsupervised children in the yard anyway, but still...) So she had better start putting him in the right field with the right companion or he will be sold quick sharp. She is suitably humble. And also a hen has been eaten by the fox. Bugger. At least we think it has, or it could have just moved out. Who knows?

So I am back to a state of 'if you want it doing properly, do it yourself' and will be back out in the yard as of tomorrow closing doors, switching off taps, and paranoidly counting my chickens.

Whoever needs a hippo birthing book I still have one here going spare.

Skates your birth sounds fab. But 9hrs for your first go! If I was 42 hrs for round one and 4 hrs for round 2, we'd better have a full fielding team hanging around to catch your next one!

FP happy birthday! Have a good one.

I am laughing at all the talk of candles and shiz. I had always thought a homebirth would mean candles, cups of tea all round, time to faff and get everything just so, etc. What it actually meant for me is 'OMG get something on the carpet quick - whoops, there goes the baby!' All that stuff I agonized over for my hospital bag - the massage oil never even saw the light of day.

A quick question for second-timers - how did your kids react to the new addition? DD is being a bit precious atm, saying things like 'my manners don't want to come out today,' and 'I can't help because my legs don't work / I have something in my mouth / Daddy says I musn't,' etc. Pre-school are being great, saying she will settle down, but she is trying!

I was woken by HI coming to bed woke up just before 2am needing a pee and now wide awake!!! GAH! Brain on overload as so much to think about eg work - 5 days left! Horse - needs dentist/ordering feed and bedding! Baybee prep at home! Enuff already!!

Those swaddle blankets okie in yr first link are on sale in Boots reduced to ten quid. Figured White with red spots can be unisex no?

ski hope interview went well. My mum uses "titsalina" and I haven't heard it for ages!

Well Bear was way too tired last night and screaming, so was swaddled at 8pm and slept through until 4 - then again until 7 - this is a major result! :) Also no poonami nappys as when I was changing him this morning I "took his temperature" which meant he laid his poo on a catch-all liner on the mat.

Slightly wooried am cramping intermittently v low down. C'est normale? Or shall I stop carrying cake?

Phone your midwife, pack a bag and deep breath. Are you known for queue-jumping? Probably nothing, but, curly and I were very impatient!

Box I will take said book off your hands thanks very much! (Moo save you the copying hassle). I have already messaged you on t'other place with my details. Very kind of you and I will duly pass it on to whoever wants it next! I was also told in NCT class this week that often Toddlers regress a bit once a new one comes along as they see all the attention going to the baby initially and start acting up a bit, hopefully it is "just a phase"

Ski glad you did not fuck up in the interview/get your baps oot.

Right, my boss is visitng today so I had better start preparing for our meeting. It will go something like this.
Me: I leave in 3 weeks you know
Him: Really?
Me: Yes, I told you in April that I am actually having a babyeeee.

Him: Right, who will you hand over to?
Me: I have been asking that for 5 months. I suggest as there is no one left here in UK or in the US or anywhere else then I hand everything over to you.

Him: No way... blah blah blah....

Moo Put down the CAKE! Don't panic but don't ignore it either. If it continues and gets more noticeable get yourself home (assuming you are at work). My SIL was 5 weeks early, and had to get a cab from work to C&W . It could be BH...

oh fuck. going to ring hossie. probably cake related strain. more soon.

Happy birthday for yesterday fanny.

Yes Boxy 9 hours was pretty swift, apparently my next one will pop out n a couple of hours. I too am weary of brie.

What on earth do I wear to a wedding next weekend? Preggie clothes too big, normal clothes too big and all my posh frocks make BF impossible. I might manage in a wrap dress which I can loosen to get my knorks out.

Swaddling and dummies are the best thing ever. Don't judge me!

No judgement here, skates, I use both of the above!

ermmm, sure I came on here to say/ask something in particular, but my mind has gone completely blank...

...Nope, definitely not there...

...Gone

Bugger.

Back in the queue, feeling like a right tit.

Oh dear Honey - what was it???

Well nothing really. Just cramps that didn't mean anything... They checked for fluid and had a look at my cervix and told me not to worry! I feel like a right dimwit.

Moo best to have it checked out though huh? Feeling a dimwit is nothing compared to giving birth on the office floor.

exactly. always best to be checked moo. I had three same day hospital assessments - and number three led to the laying of Squeaker!

Skates try here? I have a black nursing dress I wore when pregnant, and will be wearing again through the autumn, I'm sure. They have clever flaps!

Moo Always best to be checked out.

Hello peeps. So no babies born in the last 24 hours then? honey Glad all is well.

cunty I think Rastus still wins the fat blooter prize. Clyde was 15 lb 2 (!) but he is 3 weeks older so the prize is yours. The worrying thing is he is already 63 cm tall! We measured Bonnie on her second birthday and she's 81 cm. I think I can see 'little' brother catching up and I don't think she'll be too impressed.

Thanks for all the nice FESH wishes. Birfday dinner went fine. Babysitter happy, both kids quiet, Clyde took a bottle no problem. ....and then once she'd gone we had the worst night ever with either one or both kids crying all the way through until morning! Was this some sort of punishment for attempting to go out for the evening?

We were both shattered this morning, and I didn't even get any birthday secks.

honey Nobody looked at my cervix until they put gel on it. And then everyone in the hospital came up for a feel. Tsk.

Oh fanny, that sounds rough. :( But I'm glad "out" was good.

I had a nice afternoon with curly's mate - we're dumping the baybees next week and doing something grown-up - I think this probably translates to getting pissed during the day.

I formula feed, swaddle and use a dummy. Oh, and he doesn't have his own bedroom. And he's been licked in the face by a dog.

My mother has just offered to pay for Bear to go to a faith school. I may attempt to discuss this with jailbait in 2014. When he stops ranting about the Pope.

honey def worth checking. Glad you're ok.

I think swaddling and dummies are fab. Wish Comma would take a dummy better.

okie @ boss.

fanny :(

Comma's waking about 4.30 or 5am for a feed then every hour until 9am when he is ready to get up. Any suggestions?

Vodka.

Fanks gals. Will try not to rush in at merest twinge from here on in and stick to my slot in the not list.

Poor fanny, sleepless night on your birthday not funny. Can someone have a word maybe? :)

ski like sound of formula, swaddling, dummies and licky dogs.

Oh and vodka...

okie how did the handover chat go?

PS watched Cherry has a baby on t'internet today. Clucking bell, what a funny ole selection of mummies. WTF was that Tagine girl like? Is that BBC3's idea of a career gal? Anyone with the same name as a moroccan casserole cannot be taken seriously. Felt so sad watching those 2 really young girls though. And home birth woman - was it me, or was she slightly a bit too sure of herself and slightly smug and irritating?

Know what you mean about the homebirth lady Moo - pity they didn't mention that she was also hippo-birthing.
Good to hear the cramping wasn't anything serious too....you mustn't feel silly though as next time is could be the real thing

moo if in doubt get it checked reet out. Prevention is better than cure fo' sho'. Great news that all is ok.

I am so tired today as lost nearly two hours sleep and have been a right irritable cahhh ever since. Can't help it. Work is driving me bonkers. Have decided that not going to beat myself up about not getting things finished as life will carry on without me.

Last week had me toes tarted up and in a couple of weeks time gonna have me chops pummelled and reshaped into yummy mummy beauty.

Got me a ten quid swaddle blanket from Boots and has red stars on White background so figure can be unisex.

I've done BESH, PESH and now FESH. I'm out the other side and have a lovely baybee. But the droid is still the most fucking evil thing there is. Fact.

I am in agony with the heaviest bastard period in memory and will today, mostly be on the sofa (child permitting).