FESH spa and creche: Is anyone thinking of the children yet?

[SkiHorseWonAWean]

New Fred. Apologies for dullness of title - we need curly for witticisms.

Ski drats about the weekend. I'm BFing and wouldn't be able to be off so soon, but I know how importnant those little escapes are. I love my little 3 and 4 days trips somewhere exotic at work! Having said that - the North Sea in November? Surely the horsey weekend by the sea would be better when the weather is warm?

As for boys being tough - they are children, ffs! All children should be able to have a cuddle and a bit of comfort if they hurt themsleves. It's a bit mean not to show love to a child because he is a boy. DS is going to grow up with gender issues anyway - we are recycling some of DD's stuff, so he is currently being touted about in a hot pink car seat. He makes up for these indignities by being the butchest, heftiest little baby you ever did see .

And safety - we have steps and stairs everywhere, almost between every room, and we also have mostly hard floors (stone and brick) in every room. And fireplaces. We are a deathtrap! So far though, we have not managed to kill or maim a child, though Clucky's little chick had a habit of launching herself off the hallway step in a most alarming way before she learnt to walk. We also have - ta, da, daaaaa! - a massive treehouse that even I worry about from time to time. Go and have a look on my FB pics, the album is obvious! My nods to safety are parking the pram in the chicken run when I am handling horses.

Bloody hell - just got an email to tell me the prodigal brother is visiting! Dropping out of the sky from whatever weird and wonderful place he has been in, probably with a leggy blonde Russian scientist in tow. He hasn't spoken to me since I got iate with him for stealing my car and leaving me to walk back home up a mountain with a toddler on a tobogan. What he didn't know at the time was I was super-irate as I was in that early days exhausted bit of pregnancy. Bit still - TWOCing my car?

Oh well - better get to the shops and stock up on booze and caviar, or whatever it is he eats these days.

pols i am very pro showing emotions - my family is very bad at it and i ended up in counselling a couple of years ago as i had never dealt with the death of my mum and brother when i was a child - the whole thing had just been buried by the family (from good intentions, nothing sinister). as a result i am only learning how to express myself in the last few years, so no one in my house is going to be told to stop crying - they will just get comfort and cuddles.

boys dont need to be tough - a man who can show his emotions is much sexier anyway!!

safety? we have open treaded metal egded stairs with no banister

I am also not good at the emotions. All or nothing for me. Terrible. Needs work fo' sho'. Mine is also a result of family ishoos. However our baybee will be hopefully shown a good balance. Fine for cuddles if hurt or upset but whinging won't be rewarded.

Wot, no baybees yet? Hurry you PESHes!

alps So sorry about hoss weekend.

box When your brother arrives from Monte Carlo or wherever just hand him a couple of unplucked pheasants and a bottle of brandy and tell him to whip something up for dinner.

My lists are getting longer not shorter. And MrP just phoned from Budapest to say he has to go back again for two days next week. Will be a miracle if we actually get on the plane at this rate. Or will turn up to airport with carry on luggage in total disarray, screaming 'but I've got a really good list!'

pols / okes et al. I am very comfortable for my son to push a pink pram. I want my children to get the same amount of cuddles each (ie. lots) and both be free with their emotions but sensible and not soppy crybabies. Going ok so far.

fanny do you need any assistance? If a mental case with a 6 week old baby can help in any way I am willing to come up next week - even if it's just to entertain bonnie while you do something else?

I am also not good at the emotions. All or nothing for me. Terrible. Needs work fo' sho'. Mine is also a result of family ishoos. However our baybee will be hopefully shown a good balance. Fine for cuddles if hurt or upset but whinging won't be rewarded.

Balls! Double post!!

pony drat about the neddywagon!

cos You cannot be serious? If you are I might just take you up on that!

Same school as silver & cossie here - shit with emotions but taught now. When Bear falls over and hurts himself he'll be cuddled better - but as silver says there'll be no room for milking it - but that is equally applicable to a subsequent sister!

Polly Your SIL needs another kick - how bloody awful! When Bear cries all I want to do is hold him and kiss & cuddle him all better again.

Safety? "darling, don't stick your hand in strange dog's mouths" and "don't walk under the horse's tummy dear". I may even feed him a meatfeast pizza.

Well apparently there is now a space in another neddy-wagon [tm silver] - but I'm so mithered with it all now I don't want to go. :( It's leaving at a different time and I'll have to travel with a very odd Belgian man. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it - will go in the spring with the girl who can control her horse.

boxy The reason for swimming in the north sea at this time of year is simply that I've never swam with a horse - so I figured I'd put on my big girl pants, do it - then pour myself a stiff drink. Or six. And try to salvage my leather.

where is moo?

Ski brrr!

Ap think you are right to give Belgian man wide berth. Save yourself for warmer climates and avoid any mankini a la Borat situ's!

FP deadly serious drop me an email :)

Quick drop in - limited net access.

cos hope your kitty is ok. My dog no better. Off to vets again tonight. Fear it may be a one way journey. :( doesn't come close.

TENS machines are fab. I had one for both boys. No other drucks for either (tried G&A for LC but didn't like it).

LC has a Baby Annabelle and a cot for her. And trucks and stuff. And he cries. He chooses, I don't direct (although princesses and guns are out). School/peer pressure is huge and starts VV early :( If he hurts himself I leave it to him to decide whether he needs me, and always have. It's prob just his personality but he tends to brush himself down and get on with it, never milks it, but will get the love and comfort he needs if it really is needed.

V exciting about new babies!! Come on girls!!

Move still in progress. We complete on Tuesday so are doing a 5-day job and it's horrible. Have net access at old house but not new house (won't for another nearly 2 weeks) so in between frantic packing and cleaning I popped on here after giving Comma a quick feed.

cunty you asked about naps? Comma sleeps from 11am for about an hour then sometime mid afternoon. He then naps on and off from 5/6pm to when we got to bed (sometimes he's awake that whole time, sometime asleep the whole time and sometimes in between). He sleeps from our bedtime (sometime between 10pm - 12pm) and gets up at around 9.30am but has about 3 feeds overnight, although he just wakes me enough to latch and I go back to sleep.

That's us, anyway. LC was sleeping from 7pm to 10pm dreamfeed then without waking to 7am at this age but it seems that's unusual.

rots just wanted to quickly drop you a line to say SO sorry to hear about your dog. Hope it doesn't turn out as you say. xx Good luck with move.

cos any news on the puss?

rots that's useful thanks - have put Rastus down at about 8 after a bottle. Last night he slept in his cot for half an hour and then not again till another bottle at 10. Tonight, bottle at 7.30 after a bath, asleep and in cot at 8, brief waking at 9 bt soon settled and he's still aslep now . Now THAT is progress. We are going to persist with this routine come hell or high water because if he is not sleeping during the day except for catnaps he needs this time. Otherwise he'll end up a fickie froo no zeds and that innit

Hi ladies! Am starting to be a little bit around, though I am finding it really difficult to keep my mind on anything. Hit a bit of a wall this week - TSF back at work, mother around (thank god), bf incredibly painful on one side (need to seek help, thought was thrush but it is.'t) and Clint did not sleep ay all last night as we tried to use the Moses basket.....he basically got very upset and then didn't even settle in our bed. He also barely slept yesterday. But he has been in bed with us all night tonight and I ahave just struggled to wake him for a feed (boobs sore, not got hang of not waking to feed).

He is a lovely, and generally quite reasonable baby, so the pained crying of the last few days has been really hard to deal with. My stomach is upset by iron supps 3x a day, I wonder if it is affecting him too.

Otherwise, still alive and apols for not keeping up with fred better.

vag lovely to hear from you. Get thee to a bf counsellor forthwith they charge about 25 smax for an hours consultation and it is woth every penny. I was in exactly the same boat as you and not only did she sort out the physical issues and gave me loads of tips, she sorted me out mentally too, and we've been going great guns ever since. Really, I dithered for about a week and it was a week too long.

My doula told me there was a lovely lady in Clapham (although I used one in New Malden as was closer). I'll get the number if you like?

Wrt pained crying, don't rule out colic or reflux of course. Try him in the basket with the top end raised slightly to see if this is easier, otherwise cossie is swearing by Infacol at the moment. Oh, and leave off the real ale - Rastus suffered terribly after a trip to the beer festival

vag! Great to have you back. PLease to take cunty's advice on the BF front. I certainly can't help there. On the sleep front, can I suggest my catch all and ask if you have tried swaddling Clint in his basket? I think it makes them feel cuddled.

So to hear about sick cat and dog. Hope to hear some positive news from rots and cos.

In the crying debate, I think we'll be the types who don't immediately make a fuss in case she brushes herself down, but will always be there with comforting cuddles when she wants them. Boy or girl she will be allowed to cry. I was forever being told to stop being a baby as a child/teen. But as still I cry with most emotions, particularly anger, that would only hurt me more and make me worse. I was also always told to "stop being cheeky" whenever I tried to express my opinion. Not sure how we'll handle that one!

Squeaks transferred back to big cot last night. She had been battering her hands off the sides of the moses basket when she woke up and did a houdini out of the swaddle. I put her to bed swaddled at 10pm, but heard her break out at about 1am. I remember lying there thinking I'd have to get up and re-swaddle, but the next think I knew it was 5.30am! I had a peek and she was flat out, arms out (one poking through the cots bars), snoring away. Hurray! stirred at 7, so I went and made her bottle, but when I came back she was asleep again. So, an 8 o'clock start it was. Bloody marvellous. But I'm not counting on it being repeated.

I let her play with a peeled apple yesterday. lots of tongue poking and sticky mess.

Hey Vag good to hear form you and sorry to hear about the sore nip ishoos, cunty has very wise words. If you are in that there Clapham I do know someone too but she is tres expensive (approx £100 sheets) but supposed to be ace. Message me on t'other place if you want her number.

I am also sorry to hear for the need of iron tabs. Boo. But pleased to hear Clint is generally well. You could ask MW or Dr to check your iron levels again to see if you stil need the tabs.

curly There are a million ways I want to make Bear's childhood and "emotional responses" different to my own. I too was told I was being cheeky - had the proverb "children should be seen and not heard" railed at me 1000 times, "Smart Alec" and then told I was showing off etc., etc. On the other hand I don't want Bear to be the type to "express himself" vocally in a restaurant where other people will be adversely affected by his behaviour. I'll figure it out - thankfully jailbait is an emotionally intelligent powerhouse!

VAG Great to have you back. I'm sorry you're having troubles but it does all seem to come together for everyone at around 6 weeks. If you can survive those first trying weeks you can survive anything! :)

rots I'm so sorry to hear about the dog. :( Big hugs and I Hope you get to a rescue centre once you're settled in to the new house.

Cossie How did Welly get on? Glad to hear your check-up went well although am somewhat at your doctor declaring you "fit" and then giving you an internal... people will talk!

My little monster decided he wasn't much in the mood for the sleeping last night and woke me half hourly between 11:30 and 6. :( Who needs sleep eh? Am going out for a ride with a couple of girls at the stables who've not gone to the seaside - aiming for a good long gallop to blow some cobwebs away then she's getting hew new winter rug on her from tonight.

curly I put a dab of quark on my finger last night to let him suck - no yucky face pulling so that was interesting. I'm not going to start feeding yet, just thought if I tried something like this I'd be able to guage his response to "real" food. He didn't take his eyes off my dinner last night haha. Also read somewhere last week that most people have tried the baby on "real" food (a taste) by 7 weeks - so I'm nearly 10 weeks too late with that.

Good ish news re dog. It's not what I thought (broken spondile) but it is a v serious joint problem needing surgery. £2500 vet estimate. With insurance I'd pay £600. Bugger. Have decided to do it anyway. YOB said, "it's only money". Just one of the many reasons I adore him!

Why the rush to wean girls? cas tongue pushing could be tongue thrust reflex = not ready for foods.

Take a look at this dept of health weaning leaflet

ski "most people start giving food at 7 weeks"? Not like you to follow the crowd

I'm not telling you what to do, just genuinely confused as to why you want to wean early, that's all.