Dec 08 Ladies - LIghtning Strikes... and the usual gossip!

[Beans33]

Hope this works for everyone - I'm assuming Summer won't give birth in the next few hours!! x

That would be the twins that were windy not my friend, although I'm sure she can be at times too

Thanks Deids

Oh and I bet your friend would've been windy especially having twins!

Lady - yes I'm both (in pain and going mental!)

Well Pubie as one who suffered with horrendous heart burn in pregnancy I think the gaviscon is worth a go. Imagine how she must feel, when you think about it, it's no wonder she is continually feeling, in some bizarre way it probably makes her feel better. They have recently discovered that BF helps with a load of ills like teething pain and post injection pain so I'm sure it probably helps tummy upset pain too. But that's not really helping your booby pain so go for the gaviscon I say. Did the GP prescribe it for you (always the cheapo me). Also please don't apologise to us for talking so much about, it's all bloody consuming you spend everywaking hour dreading that mouth going on your nips because of the pain but at the sametime worrying that they're getting enough. As far as the formula & EBM, you could mix them then you get the heaviness of the formula but with the BM to aide digestion (goodness I sound like an ad for some double action baby nutrition thingy).

Kayz if you are interested in maybe popping down to Chinatown Harbour city which is at the east end of Chinatown next to the gate is good. We used to go there for yum cha all the time.

Oh & Lady, I think that ex needs to needs to get over it and have some respect for herself and not keep floppy around waiting for a little inkling of attention for DP. She sounds a bit of a saddo. Also I'm a teeny bit excited about your new kitchen!!! (now that's sad).

Spot, don't tease me, I can't tell you how much you would love it here, so close to the beach & city and commutable to Amsters. All I'm going to say is I have a mummies group meet up next thursday at one of the beach bars, it's cocktails & play equipment for us slummy expat mummies. All this could be yours.

Sorry I've had to go for post no. 3 due to this stupid itouch.

Sorry about the fall DB, but I think maybe leave them on but keep them on, he will sort it out in the end, but if you feel he needs them if he sleepy or if other little ones come over they are always there to close.

I met a couple of friends at the park this afternoon after school. I got there first and was watching DS2 on a climbing frame. I was so tired I leaned onto the climbing frame and closed my eyes. Next thing I new I was nodding off and opened my eyes to find DS2 on top of a large fire engine shaped climbing frame...oops!

Thanks for the housing advice, I've lined up a few more to look at but I think I might do what you suggest LadyT and have a chat to the estate agent. They are saying she basically needs 310K in order to move to her new place, our final offer was 305. I'm wondering if there's any point offering 307.5?

Veggie pour me a caipirhina, I'm a-comin' over!

Lady I'm glad the situation has resolved itself without having to lay down the law either way.

On the stairgate front, we have them although they're often open. I just like to know that I can shut T down here if I'm having a shower as he has been known to fall down a few times.

Rubes I can't imagine anyone would pass judgement on you for doing your best for DD and DS (who is also in the equation). I hope you both feel more comfortable soon.

Good heavens spot, that's a lot of houses viewed. Do you have any idea of if the other interested viewees (?) are likely to be making offers again? On the one hand £2.5k is 'only' 1% of the price you've already offered, but on the other, it's still a lot of money if you're already pushing things to get to £305. And it's 2.5k that could usefully be spent on other things. So unless it's absolutely perfect, I'd probably say not. But what do I know, I've never had to buy a house!

Meet-up decision made - having been swithering over whether to bring dd or not (home journey would involve commuter trains that are very busy, she wouldn't manage a nap, I'd spend the whole time trying to stop her escaping the RFH and dashing into the Thames...) DH has been told that his half day is no longer tomorrow afternoon but Friday afternoon - so he's going to pick her up from nursery and have an afternoon of Dad time before going to Italy and missing her for a few days, and I get to come and have some adult conversation :) Am sorry she won't get to catch up with her little pals, but for the sake of sanity this seems to be the best option. I could bring a little vid of her on my phone instead?!

Aw, will be sorry not to see your DD but I do think, Jump, that you will have a more relaxing time.

Spot - hmm, it's a toughie. If you have already basically been told she doesn't want less than 310, there may not be any point in offering 307.5. Do you know anything of the history of the property - do they go quickly in that area, has it been on for long? Would you be stretched to breaking point? If it's the only house you've both liked and you would have been happy to pay 305, 5K won't matter down the line. But it's galling when vendors won't really negotiate. It's all a case of figuring out how much you want it, how you'd feel if you lost it. However, if I was to negotiate and go with 'parents have lent us more dough', I'd offer 308 as it sounds a little less clinical and more psychologically friendly than 307.5.

Veggie - you mentioned my new kitchen, which now has a beautiful natural slate tiled floor, laid over weeks and with much swearing by DP. And nothing else is in there yet. The units are a sort of a rustic grey green, we will have a range and a wood burner and a nice large pale blue Smeg fridge. And a deep Belfast sink. I am excited but it's been so long I can't imagine how it's going to be. Also, some hideous pipe work needs to be boxed off and I am fretting slightly about how that will look.

Right, have to get up early for the carpet bloke.

Kiwi - I did read One Day (and also the Audrey N book). I did enjoy it, but mostly as superior chick lit. Also came to it with low expectations, so maybe that's part of it too. I do see why you found the end annoying. The Audrey N book wasn't really worth the bother. Didn't like the first one and only read this one for local interest, but that doesn't really make it a good book....

DB - sorry for the fall. We have never had stairgates though and both DD and DS figured it out. In fact, the only fall we've had so far was me skidding down the stairs with tiny DD in my arms [embarrassed]

spot - my tuppenceworth on the house thing is if you really love the place then its probably worth trying to come to a deal as you are not talking about an enormous gap.

Veggie - good luck on the house hunting!

LadyT - sounds like you got the right outcome on the scan - it is a shame to miss them.

JB - fingers crossed for you that the sickness continues to hold off

kayz - well done on the potty training. Not looking forward to doing that again!

JJ - glad babyJ seems to be behaving.

Having said we have had no stair falls, DS does look like he has gone through the wars. He got more than his share of bumps and bruises over the weekend, going head over heels and grazing his nose and forehead on Sat and then falling into a wardrobe door and narrowly missing his eye on Sunday.

It was first day at new job today (just induction/IT stuff so nothing too exciting yet). Came home to a very loud and persistent chorus of "mummee, mummee", which was sweet, but not great on a splitting headache.

Got to see new niece again on Sunday and introduce the cousins. DD was very sweet with her, asking to have a cuddle and stroking her gently on my lap. I was a bit afraid she would be disappointed with a babe who doesn't do much, but luckily not. DS was too busy crashing into wardrobes to care.

Invis I am finding it almost enjoyably irritating. SO badly written, and those twins need a slap around the face...

DB my DH fell down the stairs the other day. Should have closed the stair gate for him but I did think that by his later 30s he'd be able to manage them

DD only woke up at 6 this morning. Bliss! DH and I now have four days off together to hang out in London - a staycation. Which my iPhone wants to render as starvation, in an I-hope-not-significant manner. Oh ad talking of iphones mine seems none the worse for being dropped in the loo! The old bag of rice trick I read about on t'internet came up trumps

ds still waking at 5-6am. but we have a new strategy. His nappy is always really really full so dh changes him then puts him back to bed with travel gate up and he screams for 2 mins (sometimes) then goes back to his bed until 8 3 days in a row now.

Feeding issues still remain.... Latest theory is it's not reflux, but rather wind - all to do with this tongue tie problem I bet. I'm wondering now if she just doesn't know how to suck properly, and therefore a lot of air goes in and I'm not sure how to teach her since it causes me so much pain to BF. She screamed and screamed this morning after I BF her (I did BF her overnight as she settles after as she's so tired in the night so it's easier) but then this morning after a feed she screamed and screamed again and had already burped and farted a considerable amount so assumed she was still hungry as she did her usual weird half arsed bfing, so made her some comfort formula and she had about half an ounce and still screamed, then eventually - ages later after much pacing and back blows did another big burp (the whole time doing her starving baby bird impression) then finally settled to sleep.
It's HV day at the GP so I'm first in line there today and dh is home so can come too or stay with ds.
Lady - kitchen sounds great. dh said he feels bad he didn't lend the tile saw as he has a really good one and didn't know if your dp had one? But maybe he did?
I will really look forward to a visit and a couple of treatments at your local while the dh and dp hold down the fort then we can escape to the pub also before returning home
Will update after the HV visit this afternoon... Hope they have some answers [desperate]

Have a nice few days Kiwi.

Rubes, crossing everything for you for this aft

ernoon, do hope HV can shed some light on it all. DP got a tile saw in the end but v kind of your DH. I have to say, his tiling is really good, both wall and floor. His carpentry's been great as well. I have been probably unfairly amazed at his skills. I am next to useless though I do try hard. Will hugely look fwd to your visit(s) when it's all done. Must get on, I am painting woodwork in bedroom and have just noticed huge cracks that need work and filling. Oh cock.

Hi Everyone,

We are back from a really lovely fortnight in the States. We were in New England visiting family and we had a great time swimming and boating and even hiking. DD1 was in seventh heaven with her older cousins. DD2 enjoyed herself too but unfortunatley she was phobic of the cousins' pug puppy and refused to be put on the floor for most of the time. It was somewhat like having a newborn I had to carry everywhere. Herlanguagw came on leaps and bounds though. Sadly her naughty sister has taught her to prefix "poo-poo" to everyones names which they both find hilarious. On the flight home everytime the air hostess gave DD2 anything she would chirp "thank you poo-poo lady" and they wld both dissolve into hysterics...

I have skimmed the 600 messages since I left bur gave up after an hour yesterday. I have probably missed loads but must say a big CONGRATULATIONS to Summer and little Helen. Is your birth story posted suomewhere SL?

I am also sorry to hear of yr DD's discomfort Rubes. DD2 had terrible wind while feeding and had to be burped every couple of minutes during the feed. I hope you find a solution soon.

And sympathies to Spot on house buying. We are going on the market on Monday so expect similar tales from me soon. FWIW I wouldn't offer more now. She may well come back in a week or two if you tell the agent to keep your current offer on the table. DH is convinced that another dip is on the way so i wld hesitate before stretching offers too much right now.

Right, must work, I am soooo looking forward to Friday's meet-up.

xx

Hi Avo,
God now I am dealing with bits of limescale blocking up the teat when I do give her formula!!!!! Thought FF was about to go tits up.... Now have given her a ready made carton and she downed 100 mls and has started crying again.... No idea.... Totally out of idea's. She's burped, farted, she's full, dh reckons it's "just her" and she just "likes being picked up" yeah that's handy, when it's just me here, and ds is full time. I think it's something though, as it's usually more a pain type cry.

Anyway, I suspect you are all tired of hearing my rants! I will come back to report when I have good news!

Pubie that is such a health professionals answer, "it's just her". I have to say I'm with you, if you feel it's a painful cry then I think it is. I think there is something else going on. Personally I'm leaning towards some sort of reflux, even if just a tiny amount it will still be painful. The constant feeding really makes me feel it might be that too. Unfortunately, short of a barium swallow I'm not sure how to confirm it. Did the gaviscon help at all?

Lovely to have you back Avo, I'm glad you all had a nice time in the U.S. Your pics on facebook look great.

Lady that kitchen sounds great. I know what you mean about surprise at DP's skills. I was astounded when DH changed a lot of our appliances UK plugs to EU ones, I thought only electricians could do that sort of thing.

Vag - he really is on my side with this. That was just a comment amongst many that were very very helpful, and he did preface it with "maybe" which I left off. It's just we are both out of idea's and when all the so called experts give different opinions / answers, it becomes glaringly aparent that none of them really know.

Finally have put some photo's on FB. Had the chance as dh has been wearing her in the Bjorn all morning and she has slept....

Rubes I wish I could think of something else for you to try...hope you get some other options from the HV this aft. BTW LOVE your FB pics, you have really beautiful children.

Hey where is beans? Did I miss soething previously?

avo so glad you had a good holiday. Your FB pics are great I am very

Right I'm off to strangle DD who has been a bloody madam and a half today. My head is banging and as have started my diet(again) I cannot look forward to wine later. I am so sick of my clothes being 'a little snug', so I really need to abstain(food and drink)..boo hoo!!

Thanks Deids, and JJ and Avo

Right, back from the HV.
She was the lovliest HV I've met to date.
I'm still slightly confused but basically, what she thinks is, that there are a few things going on here....
She doesn't think there is anything like silent reflux or anything, possibly a little wind though. She thinks that for whatever reason - probably the tongue tie, and her inability to latch / suck correctly in the first 3 weeks, plus the pain etc I was getting which was stressing me out, has greatly affected my supply and she thinks it's had a real snowball effect in that dd has become quite comfortable with "snacking" and therefore the screaming is mainly as she wants to constantly feed. She also thinks my milk supply has not improved mainly because it is painful for me and I am dreading every feed so stressed, and also because she thinks I'm am totally exhausted. Probably confirmed that for her when I burst into tears in her office for most of the appointment She was quite pro the idea of me going to full formula - no doubt due to the state of me, and assured me that she will be just fine - whichever route I want to go, but said if I want to keep trying with the BF then I should top her up with formula anyway. She was also saying that expressing will most certainly keep my supply up, and doesn't think it would have had too much of a negative effect as she thinks the other things going on far outweigh that?
She thought I was upset because I must have felt inadequate, but i really feel I was in tears as I was so relieved that she was saying there was too much pressure on this Breast is Best stuff these days which causes more stress. She also thinks me being upset just reinforced how shattered I am and said I was probably upset out of pure exhaustion as well. She wants me to (whatever route I take) push her to get onto 4 hourly feeds and give water or dummy in between until she settles into a 4 hourly routine. She said also to not ever wake her at night for feeds.
I came home (after a brief stop in Tesco to buy a Brita Filter Kettle) and fed her 4 oz of formula with a bit of gaviscon infant in it (just in case as she said it would do no harm) and she did the most enourmous poo (she hadn't for 3 days) and she has been asleep for the past 2 hours now

Anyway, she said the options I should do are either full FF, top ups with FFing after no longer than 20 mins at the boob or express whatever I want and do a combination for as long as I can manage the expressing.
For any of the 3 options she said I should enforce 4 hourly feeds or at least no less than 3 hourly.

Well I feel much better about things and am going to try and do a combo for however long I can manage it but if it's too sore or stressful i will phase out the BF sooner rather than later.

She has gained weight and is not jaundiced anymore either which is great!

Anyway, dh came home with some very fancy cheerfulness for me saying I needed a nice spot for the BB final night I think he has noticed the stress levels

Right, off to get a shower in before dd wakes again!!

Rubes, I am shocked and in awe of your most sensible HV! Have another virtual pat on the back from me for trying so hard to keep the BF going. Enjoy the BB Final and the cheerfulness, you most certainly deserve it

Pubes I have to say I don't agree with all your HV said but I'm sure knew I'd say that. I also worry about this 4 hr thing, well done if you can stretch her out but don't stress if you can't. The bit I do agree with though is the BIB bit. Apparently BIB is what the NHS is training lots of ex BF mums to do, i mean the course is actually called breast is best, and they are sending out a bunch of scary 'right on' BF helpers to 'enthusiastically' promote Breast feeding and head BF support groups. Lots of BF & infant feeding organisations don't like it because it puts BF promotion first & foremost instead of the well being of the mother & child. One of the biggest things I learnt from that course I did with the BfN was that Breast is not best, it's normal and like anything there are deviations from the norm that suit everyone involved just fine. Pubie, I think you know where you want to go with this and if anyone judges you 'rip them another arsehole!'

Sorry Pubes I think I came across a bit bolshi with the disagreement, it mainly stems from the anecdotal evidence on expressing & top ups doesn't point towards it encouraging milk production. Otherwise I think she's great. She sounds like a HV who assesses her patients by looking at & listening to, them & using her intuition. Rather than ticking off boxes on a assessment sheet and pushing an agenda they've been told to push.

Cripes I can't get my kids into bed. Jet lag sucks. Neither of them is remotely tired but I'm
knackered. God help me not lose my rag with them.

Did you see the PM and SamCam had their DC3 today? It's yr nightmare LadyT. She had a c section planned in London but was in Cornwall on holiday and labour started a month early. She did get a c section but in a rush and at a random Cornish hospital. I think her first son's disabilities were birth trauma related so that must have been terrifying for her.

Hi Vag - yes I knew you'd say that - in fact I was bracing myself for more
All I can say is, on following her advice, dd has had a lil bit from me, then top ups of formula with Gaviscon 4 hours apart with no water needed and has slept peacefully in between. I have managed to express 100mls (just now) and 100mls from earlier which I will also use to top her up with. Whether she is right or not there is peace in this house and I am much happier. Not to say that tomorrow won't be a different story - I'm well aware of that, but until then, I'm appreciating the break!
DS was calmer tonight too - perhaps he can sense I'm more relaxed and that i'm not snapping at him

Avo, hope the jetlagged kids get tired soon

Oh gosh that is quite scary, my biggest fear was always what she went through with her first birth, hence no hospital birth.

Hooray for peace at last Pubes.

I'm getting nervous about buying this house, someone tell me it's a good idea.

A teenager ran up the back of me today on the bike and his mum went mental at me. I was stopping at a pedestrian crossing for an old lady to cross. Why do some people have to go psycho at others, when they themselves are in the wrong.

Well, you know my views on feeding, Rubes (which can be usefully abridged to happy mother = happy baby, and whatever feeding system comes closest to that for the individual concerned) - sending you lots of luck and love.

Isn't it a nice change to hear of a supportive HV?

Veg, I am a great believer in property as an investment, as you know, even on the edge of a slump - as long as you buy SENSIBLY and I can't believe for a second that you and your DH wouldn't.

Avo, it's super to have you back, glad the hols were good and it will be smashing to see you and the girls on Friday.

You are right about Sam Cam though - I dropped my paintbrush when I heard it on the radio, I think she was only a week or two ahead of me Also, DP has a friend who is a GP in Cornwall and always says how crap maternity services are in the county (both her kids were born there). I think underfunding is a prob in that neck of the woods.

I don't feel too good today. My bump is so tender. It feels like the muscles in my tummy have got so stretched they are starting to rip. I have to lift DD such a lot and I was at the house from 9 until 6.30 today (unusual, I only do about 3 hrs normally). My back is killing me as well. Even DP said he thinks I should rest tomorrow as I may have overdone it. Also, I often feel like I am stifling a sob even when nothing has upset me. It seems to come from nowhere and for no reason. Just this stage of clackerhood, I guess. Right, bedtime. Early for me!