Born in August 2008 & Soon To Be TWO - Let's Celebrate

[TwilightSurfer]

Our Toddlers' Birthdays
24JUL Alittlebitshy-H
30JUL MrsMiamla-T
31JUL DizzyDixies-D
01AUG CaptainCaveman-O
03AUG GladioliBuckets-K
04AUG VintageGardenia-E
08AUG Singaporesling-S
08AUG Pertelote-M
08AUG PoppySocks-E
08AUG HotterPotter-I aka THOR
12AUG CrispyTheCrisp- E
12AUG LuckoftheIrish-T
13AUG RedLentil-E
13AUG LWFH-T
15AUG Foghornleghorn-L
18AUG TwilightSurfer-R
22AUG No1putsbabyinthecorner-M
23AUG LittleNutTree-G
29AUG PetitFilou-T
30AUG Oopsandbabycoconut-P
30AUG Steaknife-I
01SEP Cyteen-J
04SEP Sambo303-F
13SEP Ataraxis-L
16SEP QueenofDreams-S

TS rash a bit better today.

Went to the doctors yesterday and doctor didn't really seem to know what it was but was pretty unconcerned thinking probably post viral which kind of makes sense as I thought he was coming down with something with the constipation etc. Doctors here are pretty much of the medicate, medicate school of thinking. I was thinking about his episodes of consipation and I really think that it may be psychological if that is possible (I know it can be linked to potty training but we're not there yet). Anyway he's had 3 major incidents of constipation - once around Christmas time when MIL arrived and of course Christmas is pretty exciting/unsettling, 2nd when we went back to England - also very unsettling and 3rd just when my parents arrived. Do you think this is possible?

LWFH that's funny as I would have said the opposite about England when we went back (on the clean part at least) - seems incredibly dirty to me

Miamla I do hope DH has realised the error of his ways!

morning ladies,

mrsm, hope you managed to kick dh into touch hugs..

second ts on the docs apt cece.. well done on off loading some work..

dizzy hope shoft goes ok..

spring glad ds is on the mend and hopefully u sort out the consipation soon..

oops dd2 sounds lovely and happy, plently of time to learn french ..

vg have an amazing holiday!!

qod hope s slept ad dp explained the girl, sounds like he had a few beers at the party and nothing more

dilema here, "h" still in process of moving out, being helpful in everyway he can and not gettig under my feet, constantly playing with girlies, checking what needs to be do etc, which is a nice change.. anyway, asked if i would go away with him, just the two of us for 24 hours, to try and take things through properly away from home/dds etc.. what would you lovely ladies do???

Morning

DH arrived home at stupid o'clock and has helped himself to cupcakes and brownies so I am 2 cupcakes and 3 brownies down but it should be fine as I was just asked to supply not a specific number so 22 cakes and 21 brownies will do. How does a man sleep after all that sugar?

DD2 has a blocked nose so was up a few time in the night but just for a quick feed and snuggle but spend alot of the night snuffling and snorting and wriggling.

Singa - it could be the change that is causing the constipation - it is quite common in boys and when you come to potty train you may find he will only poo in his nappy for a while and if you try to make him poo in the potty he will just hold and hold until he get a nappy and ends up constipated.

LOTI - He seems to be making an effort but I have to say a leopard doesn't change his spots or at least not without a huge amount of commitment and dedication. Do you think this change could be permanent or is it just because he has realised it could be a way to stay. Not sure about the going away - maybe you could suggest a day away somewhere to chat/have lunch that way if conversations don't go the way either of you want you can get home and not be stuck in a hotel room together somewhere.

thanks oops, thats exactly what i was thinking.. he is making a really big effort at the mo but need to know that he is in it for the long haul for me to even contemplate changing things..

a day out lunch etc sounds much better that a 24 hour thing too, good thinking girl!!..

hope dd2 snuffles are better and that dh ate your cakes.. i had my name on them

Morning from the sunny E Midlands . Forecast today? Heavy showers, nice. Mum just arrived to do O-sitting duties for the day, so I'm popping in on my way to the shower to say Hi .

oops hope miniest Oops' snuffles go soon. I hope dh enjoyed the fruits of your cakey labour?

Seeing my boss today to talk about work and workload. Will also phone gp . Whatever you're doing today, I hope it brings a to your face

loti I agree with Oops and you, a time out somewhere but not overnight. How are you btw?

Morning. CC rain forecast here too, boo. Good luck with boss and gp, sounds like you are moving in the right direction to get your s back.

DD is looking forward to getting back into our end-of-week routine of playgroup etc. Currently she is looking at a DVD boxset of Futurama - anyone know it? I don't remember the characters' names but the three DVDs have a bloke, a robot and a woman with one eye and purple hair. DD is muttering "a pretend book about Daddy, a pretend book about a robot, a pretend book about Mummy..."

Oops I already suspected your baking was amazing but 5?!! That's some sweet tooth!

Loti and Miamla, I know you are in very different places but I think a wish for appropriate husbandly behaviour is relevant to you both...

TS love the image of your big girl reading bedtime stories to your little one

pertelote I love Futurama.

CC good work on the docs app, hopefully they'll find something that can be easily sorted. Also thumbs up for dealing with your work issues - you're more practical than I will ever be!

QoD J has been swinging between his usual good cheer and very assertive grumpiness lately. It is very wearing especially when he wriggles away from a cuddle etc. I think it's just the start of being two.

Re. the girl in the picture, I'm sure it's just an 'everyone get closer!' thing as someone else said. But it probably bothers you because you haven't had the chance to go out together and be relaxed and have fun for quite a while, which is completely understandable. Parents of young ones need to have adults-only fun (and I'm not just talking about the naked kind). Hope you get some soon

Hi ladies
All ok here. Had jokey chat about photos with dp. As suspected was result of excessive amount of alcohol plus 'gettig in close' for the picture. Naked time was had (obviously HAD to follow TS orders!)

miamla what is going on with your H at the moment? He sounds an awful lot like my Dad. My Dad's favourite whinge? 'I have to do EVERYTHING around here' the moment he has to lift a finger and do a single thing. My mum gave up doing anything round the house because she's so fed up of what she does being unappreciated. BTW Dad was an only child as well, with a mum who idolised her little darling blah blah blah. Your DH ought to remember that you are heavily pregnant at the moment and he could actually help out.

Tell you what mrM would be horrified at the state of my house - it's awful. BUT I'm pregnant, sick, extremely hot and looking after a toddler who is currently VERY HARD WORK. DP hasn't made a single comment about the mess. apart from slight remarks about having nowhere to sit due to the clutter on the couch

at naked time. Er, I mean, happy for you of course!

cyteen xposts. Yes I do resent that THEY get to go out and have fun with him and I don't. I also resents that HE gets the odd night out (he doesn't go out with them often) and I never do. The last time we went out together was march last year. And MIL and her P had the cheek to turn up in the same place for their evening out knowing full well that' where we were going

TS I love your Get Naked advice, I'm going to have a t-shirt printed up.

CC Well done. Remember what the PepsiMax is doing to your teeth too...

Loti Day out sounds a better idea (or get thee on the pill), maybe wonder round a stately home, somewhere you're both off home ground. Somewhere near home too in case it all gets too much.

Miamla When most relationship probs are about lack of communication, how is the silent treatment anything but willfully destructive? And ditto what everyone else said. Can only imagine how angry you must get.

Party was great fun, Kurt was up til 10.30 entertaining everyone and scoffing smoked salmon. Downside is we forgot to take any pics, would have loved to show off my barmen! Plus my BF bought me a Chinese satin halterneck dress which DH was V taken with, yay. Really recommend getting staff in (esp free) - the guys just took over so all I had to do was chill out and periodically try and get Kurt down.
Downside is that I've actually had a tummy bug since Tues but decided to keep quiet about it so now am extra poorly but no sympathy deserved as I have probably infected all my guests.

So QoD are you past the 12wk mark yet? Fingers crossed your sickness doesn't go on this time. Can you not book your MIL to have S one Saturday and you and DH go out for the day? How near the coast are you? Catch a train, read the papers, get some sea air and salty chips.

We've got no sitter tonight so to celebrate my birthday I have asked DH to play with me, instead of just watching a DVD. In fact I may even force him to play Scrabble which he hates (well I am a linguistics grad so TBH not many people want to play it with me.) Also I could print out some guitar/uke tab.

Lucky you should go. There is absolutely no harm in going somewhere alone with your h for 24 hours. It could easily set a precedence for all future family related discussions. He obviously has a heart for you and the girls. A split can be amicable and with benefits iykwim. Tiger & stripes: I totally agree but look down the road...you want him to be cooperative. This might prove the maturity level of your situation (and it might not). If it doesn't you have a different map to read along your journey.

buckets yep I'm actually 18 weeks now! can't believe I'm nearly half way there. Still can't believe my baby's going to be a big brother. Sickness is still here but manageable now thanks to tablets. I still have a thorough vomit every morning (TMI)

Might mention to DP about going away on a saturday. Not sure about coast - we're not far but to get there by public transport we'd have to get a train in to london then train back out again - silly.

DP and I have mastered the 'romantic night in' This generally involves waiting till S is asleep. For my birthday he did me a candlelit 3 course dinner, complete with prosecco, lovely red wine, and then port. Followed by watching a movie. I can highly recomment it! We haven't done one for a while though due to me being so sick.

thanks buckets and TS ..

i have agreed to a day out, the cm is going to take the girls for the day.. she has also offered to have them for the night so know its there if i decide to do the full 24 hours..

this has all bee arranged by h which is very unusual as i normal deal with the cm... know he is really really trying to make it work and i dearly do not want our family to fall apart but am very wary of big grand gestures and then it all falling by the wayside!!

Am looking forward to a child free day tho.. does that make me a bad mummy ..

18 weeks qod my god thats gone so quick, glad you are starting to feel a bit better and hopefully little man will be back to his chirpy self soon ..

meant to say ts your girlies sound so cute ..

your do sounded fantastic buckets .. sorry for the tummy bug tho .. i am sure none of your guests will get it!

WOW qod that sounds nice! My dh's idea of a romantic night in is that he would cook whatever I liked, then i get to wash up after! Not complaining about the cooking mind . How on earth are you 18 weeks already?!?!?!! Blimey thats flown by!

hey loti I know what you mean about feeling wary of the 'grand gesture' I would as well. I have no experience of this but you could perhaps do a trial separation? He has to move out, but if he keeps up being a good dad - meeting your criteria then you consider getting back together? Just a thought, but bear in mind I really am no expert!

I don't know how I'm 18 weeks ladies. Nearly halfway I can't believe it! it's certainly going quicker than the last pregnancy.

Loti I think the trial separation has to happen to show him that you will never ever tolerate his previous behaviour again. Even if he has seen the light and is changing, the break will make him believe that you are deadly deadly serious and you will be sure he's not playing you. It's all good either way though because if you take him back after the break he's a better man, if you don't then he's still a better man and the way forward looks good for you all. If he hasn't really changed this would show itself fairly quickly after the trial split I think.

Oh my God. please tell me this is going to stop sometime soon. FFS he's crying almost constantly.
And a lot of the time it's real screaming/racking sobs. I don't know how much longer I can listen to this damn noise. I just want him to be happy, but nothing I'm doing works!

Should I take him to the docs do you think?

he is a toddler qod. unless you really think something is wrong and he is in pain, just assume he is playing the toddler game.

however super his language is he will be frustrated that he can't tell you all he wants to.

what does he do with a change of scene? park? cafe for a babycino? seeing friends? feeidng ducks?picninc in the garden/park? a stomop along in wellies (despite there being no Muddy Puddles?(i hate this time of year with little ones when all the groups shut for the summer hols. i know i have a school age dd but sometimes when she is busy i wish things went on as normal for me and ds)

Thanks ALBS
what's the best way to deal with it? I've finally calmed him down by sticking music on youtube so I could get his dinner cooked

When I take him out these days he's quiet and sticks to me like glue. You can sometimes see him WANTING to join in, but then he chickens out, so I think his confidence is a bit low. He's currently lickingmint sauce off the plate and saying 'nice'. Guess he's not taken after his daddy there!

Albs makes a good point about getting out and about but obv it's hard when you feel like shit all the time. Unfortunately it's almost the summer holidays so although there are free/cheap activities they can be harder to find. Try a library, Kurt loves to march around shouting with joy and sorting DVDs (I let him because the posters say 'Libraries Love Babies') and they often have summer activity freebie magazines. I'm also planning on doing some Facebook flashmobs next month eg 'We'll be picnicking at X tmrw at noon - come join us' (to friends natch and on our NCT branch page.

If he's genuinely crying, it's worth getting his ears etc. checked out just to rule out rogue infections. Poor little thing, and poor you - it really is no fun. Like I said before, J is very restless in himself at the moment and dissatisfied. This evening he just wanted to slump against me and cuddle while watching his programme He never usually sits still long enough!

They are finding out all sorts of new things about themselves, and I think sometimes they can be a bit in love with fear. J is scared yet fascinated by big roaring things (dinosaurs etc.) on tv and in books. He gets up and edges away in alarm, then sidles back like he can't quite bear to leave it alone