Best friend turned nasty & aggressive

[Shoes19]

At drinks yday with my best friend - we've been friends for 10 years - the conversation somehow turned to politics. I said I was pleased we at least got a majority Gov. as it brings stability (which others I know have voted differently to me agree with).

My BF said in an angry voice "did you vote tory? i have lost all respect for you" . i didnt say i had but was so taken aback by her sudden nasty & angry attitude my silence revealed it. I said i guess you voted labour (her response "YES!)". I tried to explain my reasons, incl. it took me until election day to decide as i was so undecided, & i live in a really safe tory seat & doubt one vote would make a difference to the eventual result.

She wouldn't let me even say one word about why i voted the way i did to explain my position, incl. i voted tory reluctantly. I tried to explain that I didn't agree with Labour or Corbyn (the socialist policies etc. and that the IFS said Labour will bankrupt this country) and I really did not want Corybn to be PM; nor did I agree with Lib dem position on brexit (i voted remain but as a democratic accept & respect the result and want brexit done).

I remained calm (never raised my voice or got angry or nasty) & said i didn't want to fall out with her over this as she is my closest friend and she said "you're my best friend but i have lost all respect for you"in an angry voice. I said it was ridiculous that this was happening i.e. she was turning nasty on me her friend and seemed to be falling out with me, her response was in a passive aggressive tone 'it's ridiculous is it?". I said i respect the way she voted and clearly we were equal in that we didn't agree with the other's vote, and let's not ruin a good day over this.

She sat with a face like thunder & was really nasty & aggressive. Even when i said let's change the subject, she just sat there and stared straight at me, making me feel uncomfortable. I said this felt really awkward now. And I had to think of random subjects to talk about i.e. anything good you've seen on tv to which she stated a program and then added but BBC will go. Other things she said was when this country goes down & when the NHS is sold and we get a no deal Brexit that is on me. I think she may have called me a nazi (it sounded like it). I've never seen this side to her but she was really angry, nasty and passive aggressive when responding to my questions.

We are supposed to be having xmas drinks with another friend this week but 1) i am not sure i want to go 2) don't know or care how the other friend voted (i suspect labour) & don't want the two of them to become nasty to me, and 3) i don't even know whether i am her friend anymore. I have decided that if i do go & at any point she/they turn on me i will politely say I think i will call it a night and I honestly wish you both a lovely Xmas, and leave.

I am hurt by her stance towards me and some of the things she said to me, esp as she was my closest friend. And i am not sure what i should do, i would like her to apologise for how she made me feel & for turning so nasty....I don't think she will. I know I would apologise if I was her as i would not treat someone like that & would respect people's votes...this country is a democracy & people should vote how they want without receiving abuse etc. I am just taken aback at immature, nasty & aggressive attitude - we're both 36 too so adults. I have and will try and remain civil but am not sure whether this puts a dent in our relationship

The sheer level of vitriol coming from the left is appalling. I'm fifty years old and I don't recall ever seeing grown adults behaving like this in my life time. Even some of the responses on here are shocking.

Op. I don't really understand why a sub sect of society has started to behave like this, like nasty bullying children who didn't get their way, but you need to acccept she has this side to her, as unpleasant as it is.

Go to the drinks and your plan is good, if it looks like it is going to get nasty, hold your calm, don't react, don't let them attack you, just walk away and wish them a merry Xmas.

And just to add that this intolerance that the hard left are showing for any opposing view is going to drive ordinary people away from the left. Extremism is no good, whether it’s left or right.

Boris Johnson is racist and sexist. He’s pushing forward Brexit which is fuelled by sanctioned racism (and I know not all leave voters are racist or motivated by this before you start the teeth gnashing). He will sell the NHS and destroy public services further. Britain will be broken by Brexit to a terrifying extent.

The OP’s friend has ever right to be horrified her friend voted for that.

Oh and it’s not ‘leftist extremism’ to feel that the Tories are morally bankrupt and a dismal prospect.

And just to add that this intolerance that the hard left are showing for any opposing view is going to drive ordinary people away from the left. Extremism is no good, whether it’s left or right

Completely agree. Apparently, some people only respect democracy when they get the result they want.

And just to add that this intolerance that the hard left are showing for any opposing view is going to drive ordinary people away from the left

I'd agree with this, it's almost guaranteed to kill what's left of labour of it continues, all that will be left is a very niche small minority party supported by some hard core socialists that people try to actively avoid.

But if the result you want is less racism, a safer future for Britain, more support for the vulnerable, an NHS - why shouldn’t people decry what’s happening?!

doubt one vote would make a difference to the eventual result.
I’d be angry if this was your dithery attitude to voting, undecided and you choose Tory 🙄
Enjoy your dictatorship and the increasing rich/poor divide, enjoy your drinks with the gals 🙄

why shouldn’t people decry what’s happening?!

People have very right to express disappointment, sadness, anger at the result. However, hurling abuse at people and making ridiculous generalisations like "they want poor people to die, they're evil scum" is achieving nothing except alienating people and keeping them on the opposite side. Ive said this before and I'll say it again- this approach IS. NOT. WORKING. If it was working, then we would have won wouldn't we? The more we spew hatred and abuse, the more people will see us as the enemy and will vote in opposition. Our responses are keeping people voting Tory. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If hatred and vitriol isn't working then the answer isn't to spew more of it. Its to change our approach and win people to our side. If we dont do that, we'll be stuck with the Tories for a long, long time.

This is a troll I'm sure.

I have very liberal political views but I absolutely hate this polarisation and people throwing insults at each other. It's going to get us absolutely nowhere if we can't respect each other. I've seen some of my friends write very hateful and nasty things on fb and honestly that effects how I feel about them more than any difference in politics would.

But if the result you want is less racism, a safer future for Britain, more support for the vulnerable, an NHS - why shouldn’t people decry what’s happening

How can any one say they want more support for the vulnerable, a safer future whilst going on line and attacking people for their beliefs and for voting differently to them or actively supporting those who do.

It's the most illogical, ironic thing I've ever seen.

The vote won't change, the tories won. That's it. Shouting. Screaming. Stamping your feet. Attacking people will not change it.

Really suck it up.

Jesus, I'm sorry you had this reaction, OP.

I'm friends with plenty of people whose politics are worlds away from mine because we're mature enough to recognise that good, decent people who want a good, decent society can fundamentally disagree about how to achieve it.

I tend to plead the Chartist principle of secret ballot when asked how I vote by people I don't know well, though, because someone will always feel the need to 'put you right' no matter how you voted. Plus it's none of their business!

I fell out with my best friend in almost the same circumstances last week, we have now agreed to never talk politics again

Beautifulstranger I totally agree. I don't know why people would think it's a troll, it seems like a very scenario to me given what I've seen from my friends online the past few weeks. And I'm saying that as someone with extreme left views.

It is an anxious time for those of us who mistrust Boris Johnson and his fellow right-wingers.

Maybe speaking about this with your friend, when drinks are involved, is not a good idea.

She sees dreadful consequences of having this tory Government, and has jumped to the conclusion that you voted in favour of those dreadful consequences.
Or that you have very little idea of what you were voting for.

I never want to come here to flame people but I don't think you two are compatible at all. If she isn't generally a rude person and she reacted like this, it just goes to show you are totally different people. I work with people who have been most affected by the Tories for the past ten years and if anyone I know voted Tory we could never be friends again because we are fundamentally incompatible.

Beautifulstranger I totally agree. I don't know why people would think it's a troll, it seems like a very scenario to me given what I've seen from my friends online the past few weeks. And I'm saying that as someone with extreme left views

Thanks. I'm just so upset- why are we carrying on down a path that is proving to be futile? Its not fcking working. We can still turn this around but we need to make a change and try something else because this route is just landing us with a larger and larger Tory majority

I couldn't be best friends with someone who voted Tory. And would have to say so. It's a morally reprehensible vote imo. Everyone has the right to vote how they wish and I have the the right to say who I will be friends with. I wouldn't stay friends with someone who hunted in their spare times or other things I find morally repugnant. This is the same to me. I don't blame your friend, I would be pissed off and disappointed in you too.

And just to add that this intolerance that the hard left are showing for any opposing view is going to drive ordinary people away from the left. Extremism is no good, whether it’s left or right

^^ I'm a labour voter and couldn't agree more. Bullying tactics are never going win people over. Catch more flies with honey

I was astounded that there were marches in London against the results of the election.

Does anyone think that this is the result of school sports days and competitions (like the Turner prize) where there are no losers. Everyone is a winner and getting a shock that in rl there are winners and losers and they can’t handle it.

Can't believe you'd rather have a man who hides in a fridge as PM.

Oliver
I was expecting that but not this. Which could be a spoof.

twitter.com/TitaniaMcGrath/status/1205859214360481792

That is a spoof account. Funny too as it seems accurate.

I know Titania is a parody

But we had a poster yesterday who thought it was genuinely the opinion of the woman, and described as it as “well put”. So perhaps it is real. It’s not just Doyle who posted it.