Ok, i haven't read the whole thread, but I need to post this. Apologies for the minor derail.
As a Jew, I find the very premise of the question the OP posted troubling and offensive. The Israeli state should operate to at least the standards of international law (and I would like to see them go better than that) but that is because every state and in particular a state which models itself as a liberal, Western-style democracy, should.
The expectation that the descendants of an oppressed minority should somehow retain that knowledge and make it the basis of their relationships with other oppressed minorities is both naive and disturbing. It is disturbing because I have never heard it used - and certainly not with such regularity - about any other formerly oppressed minorities. This suggests a singling out of Israeli actions for criticism based upon the Jewish religion and heritage. I find that anti-semitic, and I am a long way from considering criticism of Israel anti-semitic. It suggests that Israel somehow has greater obligations than any other state in the world because of the holocaust, the pograms, the social exclusion and other forms of discrimination and oppression exerted against Jews in the past. In other words, has greater obligations because of what other states and other peoples have done.
I can't begin here to explain what is wrong with that, but I will draw out some comparisons. Do we expect India to "behave better" because of its experiences of British colonialism? Or Eastern European democracies because of their experience of communism? Or African-Americans because of slavery and Jim Crow? Or gay people because of a lengthy history of ostracism, imprisonment, execution and torture? No.
So, in that case, why Israel? Surely, the only acceptable way of phrasing the OP's question is in a modern liberal democracy which purports to abide by the rule of law, why is Israel behaving like this?