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Original poster

If you don't go to church, why not?

188 replies

ilovejonty · 07/12/2008 17:35

Is it because you don't have a faith/ belief in God?

Or:

Other reason - for example, never been, don't feel the need, intimidating, you are too busy etc...?

If you would like to go to church but don't, what would encourage you and what would put you off?

OP posts:
twiddlingmythumbs · 02/01/2009 22:06

I went to a freezing cold Church the other day! Thankfully had left tiny one at home with my mum otherwise she'd have been a little blue thing

I became a Christian when I was 15 and have been going to church ever since. Although I can totally understand it's off putting if someone has been made to feel unwelcome, I am really saddened to hear it. I agree with the above by countingtheflocksbynight as no church will ever be perfect as it's group of people none of whom are perfect interacting with each other.

I think we should expect churches to be imperfect, because Christianity is about rubbish, messed up and unworthy people (everyone included) being made right with God. There is no way I can 'make' myself good, as I will never be good enough: I will always do, say or think something that offends God or others. But when someone becomes a Christian and admits their need for God, they are forgiven simply because of Jesus' death in our place. Thereafter, Christians would say God helps them to try to live a life of gratitude for what Jesus has done for them, and that they should try to love others, but they won't be perfect, so therefore neither will churches.

There are so many great churches, with people trying to live out what the Bible teaches and live in a way that God wants them to. My church were amazing when I had my little one (was prem so was quite tough). People cooked meals, I've not had to buy anything as older mums have given me stuff, I had breastfeeding counselling, support through mums and toddlers things, and so much advice re parenting. Although at times, I might look at church and think how can such a random group of people be in a room together, I think they're brought togther by a common belief in God's forgiveness and love. I hope if anyone does decide to go to church, that they find a place where they feel welcomed and loved.

BoffinMum · 02/01/2009 22:13

I have come to think the world is a church, actually. I see God all around me in people, particularly at work where many of my lovely colleagues are truly Godly in ways they probably don't even realise.

MadameCheese · 02/01/2009 23:06

Sometimes it's because I'm a bit tired or run out of time in the morning (have I missed the point here?)

Our church is great BTW!

racingsnake · 02/01/2009 23:12

Can we have hot chocolate, too, for the freezing pews?

tatt · 03/01/2009 10:00

I'm not really sure what I believe in but .... I see the Church as something that Paul created and not necessarily as something that Christ wanted to see happen. So it has elements of what I think of as Christianity (some churches more than others) but not others.

There is a very good church here. It has inexpensive modern buildings that are used for community activities. It makes no great fuss about this just quietly gets on with providing services for the community, welcoming those with faith and those with none. My children have been to its youth clubs and I feel rather guilty about never going to a service. Although the buildings are modern and therefore don't take lots of cash to maintain I suspect they still aren't terribly warm during the services but I wouldn't know. So one day I probably will go to a service and will try and get involved in what they are doing. Even if some people who attend are not "good" they at least want to be. They don't preach - there is never more pressure to attend than a note with times of services or a would you like to come (once)?

bloss · 03/01/2009 17:31

Message withdrawn

amber32002 · 03/01/2009 17:33

Racingsnake, good plan re the hot choc. Or at least warm the wine up a bit for communion! Luckily our church is a warm central heated modern one, but I've certainly suffered the freezing ones.

ermintrude13 · 03/01/2009 18:28

The Jesus character in the bible wanted his followers to eat and drink in his memory, but no actual services were mentioned. All organised religions are based on rather human notions of what a God might like his creations to do - all meet up in a special building on a special day to tell him how fab he is. Sounds like what the average insecure chap would like, rather than the desire of a godly being...

ClarissimoUsedToBePeachy · 03/01/2009 18:32

Paul did shape a lot of what we see as the modern Church though- there is the institution of the Church, CofE / catholicism etc etc and Church as in followers and community of Christ: they are at least possible to hold fdistinct. I'm not a massive fan on many aspects of the former but a member of the latter.

My old Prof use to refer to Church as in institutioon as the Paulines to reinforce the rather alrge influence he had on it.

BTW I don't want anyone to think I am against all of the Churches organised sides: just the bits that seem so distinct from His message: the judginess, the exlcusivity, the lack of supportivness of some Ministers.

Those that ahve outreach, listen, care I applaud and thank Him for.

Racingsnake · 03/01/2009 21:42

Hmm, my thread asking about Paul now linking with this one ... I'm trying to find out how to teach the story of Paul to 10-year olds, but he's not really growing on me ...

tatt · 03/01/2009 22:45

the followers of Christ gathered together before Paul came along but "the Church" - capital C, expensive buildings, wealth, hierarchy, possibly distortion of Christ's teachings - didn't exist.

scienceteacher · 03/01/2009 22:47

Actually, they did have a three-fold ministry in Paul's time.

bloss · 03/01/2009 22:49

Message withdrawn

MoreSpamThanGlam · 04/01/2009 00:20

None of my family went to church, but i started going when I lived in the States.

The miracles? You REALLY believe that? REALLY? Could it not just be people getting fired up over someone who was just a really nice man?

What is God anyway?

See? This is why I dont go. Because asking these questions is wrong. its all about community. Why cant we do that in a community centre or village hall?

I cant stand the fact that I feel there is most definitely something so much more than this, but I wont find it listening to some geeky bloke with virtually no idea of the kind of life I have led...

tatt · 04/01/2009 09:20

bloss I disagree - but I also have major (extended) family problems right now so you'll have to debate it with someone else.

saramoon · 04/01/2009 10:38

Absolutely Morespamthanglam, totally agree, it is about community.

bloss · 04/01/2009 13:57

Message withdrawn

Countingtheflocksbynight · 04/01/2009 13:59

Agree that it is about community MoreSpamThanGlam and that is where some of the churches have fallen down ... in my personal view it can be hard to be preached to by a male priest (in RC church anyway) about one's failings when you feel they have no understanding at all of family life ...

If I may say so however, er, I think someone is a radical and political activist and who is prepared to be tortured and crucified for their beliefs can be classified as more than just a "nice" man ...

amber32002 · 04/01/2009 14:13

Yup, to me Jesus was far more than a nice man. Definitely 100% the Son of God/part of the Trinity, as far as my beliefs go. I've experienced things I can't explain any other way than that God was 'looking out for me', but it's fitting into the churches and their community and understanding the wording and the rituals that is the struggle for me.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 04/01/2009 14:34

Ok. I agree, Jesus was far far more than a nice man. but really the son of God? I need proof, real proof. not just a story that has been passed down that he may have come back, but not seen again.

With all the destruction over religion, why not just show us who is in charge, someone that can really perform a miracle?

Now - nature is miraculous, and yes we see little miracles every day. And some things cannot be explained. The same could be said about certain things hundreds of years ago but with technology and understanding, things are explained.

I think there is something, absolutely something more than nature and the universe...I think of a foetus thinking that that is all there is to their world, in the womb, and then they pass through into another world with no recollection of the last world, and when we die maybe we pass on to another world with no recollection of this one. I dont know...its just a theory.

The young girls that are pregnant in our community that need mentoring, help with clothes or furniture..why doesn the church help?

I think as a congrgation, they would get more spiritually if they got out of the church on did random acts of kindness...just like Jesus.

scienceteacher · 04/01/2009 14:47

Jesus was far more than a nice man. If you think that was as much as he was, how do you square up what he said about himself?

DutchOma · 04/01/2009 14:56

MSTG, the church does myriad acts of 'random kindness'. So much socially responsible work has been done by 'the church' Salvation Army and all. Only this morning RevJusta was serving breakfast to the homeless in her church. I'm sorry about your pregnant girls in your community that need mentoring and help, but that is all I can offer. Our church is socially involved but cannot cure all the ills of the world around it.

BoffinMum · 04/01/2009 15:39

I am currently growing a miracle, I don't know about you lot. It's all supposed to be about having faith, anyway.

I think the turning over of the tables in the temple thing speaks to me at the moment. Perhaps we are not activist enough these days.

SunshinePine · 04/01/2009 15:50

I don't go to church.

I believe in a some kind of great power great power but I don't call it God and I don't believe it is all powerful on its own.

I'm not saying the whole thing is a fake, it is almost undeniable that Jesus existed and he was probably a great man but there are plenty of arguments about him being the son of God. Unfortunately the church has erased anything from the bible which suggests he was not as they say and I find this quite sad. If he really was the son of God surely if we read both sides of the argument we would reach the right conclusion?

I'm not sure how many who go to church truly believe but a lot don't.

Everyone can decide what they want to believe and that includes children. They shouldn't be forced to go to church if they don't want to and If God was all loving why would he make them?

ClarissimoUsedToBePeachy · 04/01/2009 16:32
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