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Philosophy/religion

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Original poster

If you don't go to church, why not?

188 replies

ilovejonty · 07/12/2008 17:35

Is it because you don't have a faith/ belief in God?

Or:

Other reason - for example, never been, don't feel the need, intimidating, you are too busy etc...?

If you would like to go to church but don't, what would encourage you and what would put you off?

OP posts:
TheInvisibleManDidIt · 31/12/2008 16:31

I do not agree with organised religion.

I was brought up as a JW and whilst I realise how my parents are is not reflective of every JW, their congregation used their religion as an excuse for how they treated me.

Needless to say has put me off being a memeber of any church.

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 31/12/2008 16:32

member*

Countingtheflocksbynight · 31/12/2008 16:40

Er, well, I may be a voice in the wilderness here but I do go to church (don't manage it every week but as often as I can).

I'm RC and although I struggle with many parts of the faith one of the main reasons why I go (without getting to heavy about it I hope) is that I am sitting down among others for one hour

  • some are complete strangers
  • some I know and like
  • some I actively dislike

but nonetheless we sit down together, we try and think about ourselves and work on the bits we don't like, we think about and pray for others and half way through we shake one another's hand (offering the sign of peace) and that is symbolic of how one would ideally like the world to be

that latter point is one of the main reasons I attend

KerryMumbles · 31/12/2008 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Countingtheflocksbynight · 31/12/2008 16:43

Sorry, just realised I've mis-read op so probably shouldn't have posted but just wanted to mention other side of the argument ... each to their own of course ...

KerryMumbles · 31/12/2008 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChrismumMiaow · 31/12/2008 16:47

I'm an atheist. I quite like weddings though, but hate funerals. I remember going to my Grandad's when I was about 20 and hating the fact that the vicar spent more time going on about Jesus than my Grandad. It felt utterly wrong to me.

Heated · 31/12/2008 16:48

because the local church service is dire, dire, dire to the point where atheist dh is tempted to preach!

oxocube · 31/12/2008 17:03

Am C of E (actually, as I haven't been Christened, I guess I am officially nothing, but always went to C of E services as a child). Parents are not church goers, Dh atheist, kids not interested although the younger two will occasionally go to church with me. Nearest church is Catholic (although I sometimes go as I like the incense and mystery!), local Protestant church is of happy clappy nature and its not really my thing.

Actually, would love to start going to church more regularly again but need to find one where I feel I fit in.

FilthyBrit · 31/12/2008 17:27

I'm dirrrrty, they don't let me in.

Pruners · 31/12/2008 17:37

Message withdrawn

CokeFan · 01/01/2009 09:40

I go to church. Technically I'm Anglican but we (me, DH and DD who's nearly 4 months) go to the Methodist church because in our opinion it's the best one in our area. The Anglican one wasn't very friendly when we moved here but may have changed now they've got a new vicar.

DD has been going since she was about 8 weeks old and recently starred in the Nativity as baby Jesus, which went much better than we expected. There's loads of kids at our church and even the teenagers seem to keep going. It's really friendly but the best thing is the way that everyone of all ages mixes together. Being a Methodist church it's part of a circuit which means you get different preachers each week so even if there's a duff one one week then there's probably a better one the next week.

What I've really been surprised at is how welcoming they've been to DD - especially the older people. Lots of people have come up to me and said to keep bringing her even if she's fussy (normally she likes to "join in" the singing and then falls asleep at some point). She did a really huge (and audible) nappy one week and quite a few people around us cracked up laughing .

Oh, and it's nice and warm

ermintrude13 · 01/01/2009 10:58

I'm an ex-RC, husband ex-CofE, now both atheists. Send kids to local community school which is absolutely dominated by Anglicans who think it's their very own church school (the local vicar sends his kids there and is always in 'talking' to the kids, at the Head's invitation. No other religious leaders are invited). They completely overlook the fact that there are atheists, agnostics, Hindu, Sikh, Muslim, Jewish etc. families whose kids also attend the school and who are as sick of their smug assumptions as I am. I am constantly getting into arguments with the Head about the 'knee-jerk Christianity' he and some of his staff practice. One teacher even told my DD that something kind she did for another child was a 'good Christian act'. Nope, she was kind because she's been brought up to think of others, because that's a good way to live not because a man in a book told her to. Grrrrrr!!!

People have a right to believe in whatever they like and worship wherever they like, but it's a private matter and christians who assume everyone believes what they believe give their more discreet co-religionists a bad name.

saramoon · 01/01/2009 11:06

Have been thinking alot about religion recently. Posted on here about how to go about looking into Christianity but thinking about it more now i am not so sure/ DH is Muslim and DDs will be brought up same. I have no problems with this but do have issues with organised religion. Can't get my head around Jesus being the son of God either. Don't go to church simply cos i don't think my faith or whatever it is is strong enough. Like lots of others here though, love going into churches and love the architecture. And Christmas carols.
Guess i am just feeling a bit confused at the moment.

dietstartstomorrow · 01/01/2009 11:09

Im a Atheist.

amber32002 · 01/01/2009 11:42

The times when I've not been to church for years have been disability-related. I had no way to get through a church service without help, and there wasn't help.

Tortington · 01/01/2009 11:54

i went to midnight mass but then didn't go on the following sunday

i have moved, the local catholic church is linked to an independant posh school and dd doesn't want to go there.

also, there are a few things i think that if you are a member of the clergy you need to take into consideration

Considering that christianity is in essence and evangelical religeon ( we'll have anyone) i feel that some clergy need to look at customer service.

if i ring up the prespytery(sp) and ask what time mass is - i don't want the old dodderer helper person to speak to me in a pants tone of voice

Do a frickin website ffs. In your parish there will be someone web savvy only too happy tohelp i am sure.

it was a frickin arseache trying to find out what masses there were on xmas eve

thank god a certain church actually had an up to date website with newsletters and everything

this can detail what help can be given to the disabled to help them in church

times
dates
special events

the newsletter on a sunday is outdated, its nice to read is the priest is going on with himself in the homily.

when you go to church, get the old dodderers at the door to greet people in a welcoming fashion.

clergy people, don't arse lick the regulars and talk to them in-depth after church (blocking the door)

i really do find that the catholic church - kinda changes mass times on special days and holy days and although it will say on pants website that special and holy days are a 10.30 mass, they make it up and do what they want.

i drove around to two churches on xmas eve, both already had mass in session at 6.30

it didn't mention that anywhere.

Ronaldinhio · 01/01/2009 12:00

Because it:

was rammed down my throat in Norn Ireland

pushes a fairly negative agenda. IME telling you what's wrong rather than celebrating what's right

has a stuffy atmosphere

is really judgey, judgey

attracts non smiling earnest God put you on this earth as a cross to bear until you get back to heaven types

higgle · 01/01/2009 18:32

Because I'm buddhist.

higgle · 01/01/2009 18:35

And also - when I have been with my mother who occasionaly wants to go I really cannot cope with that gesture of peace stuff where you have to embrace or touch someone you hardly know, I'm afraid that makes me feel sick.

squik · 01/01/2009 19:00

We rarely go as a family, but dh's mam takes my two to church most Sundays, as she is religous, and neither dh, my parents or I are.
Oh, and I am CofE and the kids and dh are Catholic. So by my reasoning, I don't go to my church ....
Upon saying that, I think that in this day and age when we are all so 'morally corrupt' it doesn't hurt.

oxocube · 01/01/2009 19:41

I used to go to church with my Granny (my idea, not hers or my parents') as neither my mum or dad were church goers. She was Catholic but the church we went to was a modern affair where the Catholics and the Protestants shared the church (70s ). The Protestant service was first at 10, I think, and the Catholic at 11.15. My granny went to either, depending on what time she got up or whether she was baking bread that morning!!

I have followed her example. A wonderful woman, my granny

TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets · 01/01/2009 19:51

I don't go to church because I'm in no way religious. I got married in a register office and will have a humanist burial. My children are not christened.

I'm with Kerrysmum here, all religions are cults just varying in size imo. God/Jesus etc is just a story that is nice, but nothing to live your life by. IMO.

Having said all that though, I can appreciate that the community side of it must be nice.

southeastastra · 01/01/2009 19:52

i would go if it wasn't so full of old women bickering (hmm maybe that will be me one day)

cheapskatemum · 01/01/2009 19:53

My church is not like any of the ones described negatively, except it is rather cold, so I just dress warmly. I also take severely autistic DS2. He loves it, I think it's because he is aware that he is valued there. The people are genuinely warm, welcoming and helpful. When people say some churchgoers are hypocrites, what do they mean? None of us are perfect, but Christianity offers us the chance to say sorry for the things we've done wrong and to ask for forgiveness. People with autism, dirty people, non-believers are all welcome as they should be. Whom did Jesus befriend? Ok, I'll get down from my pulpit now.

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