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I'm catholic,and I've had a death in the family,if your Catholic can you help me

38 replies

Summerflowers6 · 08/05/2025 12:39

A very close relative has died
The relative,did some bad things ,things you go prison for, for a very long time
Do they still go to heaven,if they did bad things,but sometimes we're a good person.

OP posts:
EuclidianGeometryFan · 08/05/2025 16:06

Yes, Purgatory is the traditional catholic teaching.

Waterweight · 08/05/2025 16:35

Summerflowers6 · 08/05/2025 14:53

I'm just worried he's not gone to heaven
I always thought bad people go to hell
But people can do bad things and do good things .
I don't know if you can say someone is a bad person,if they only did some bad things in an entire life span
I knew about the bad things but I never believed that he did them ,but good people don't deliberately hurt other people,so I'm now worried he did do them ,and I was stupid to not realise it was true
I've been to church and prayed to god to forgive him ,
But I don't know if it works like that .

This is why as catholics you put your faith in a higher power to do the right thing (caring for them in death) & see the person for who they really were even at their lowest points

A person has to be fundamentally a good person & as mentioned be prepared in death to repent for their wrong doings. So anybody who wants to get into heaven has a way to do so.

I know this loss is hard when your viewing them over a long period but obviously there day to day actions are when they're being judged on & how they move on from it.

89redballoons · 10/05/2025 19:15

Pope Francis said in one of his later interviews that he hoped hell is empty. My parish priest as a child said a similar thing. This isn't the same as saying that no-one is in hell, but it does mean that some people who have spent their whole lives devoted to God have this kind of faith in God's love and mercy.

As Catholics, we should believe in God's mercy. We can hope that every single soul has received that mercy (or will do). As others said, we can pray for individual souls and have hope that God hears those prayers.

PraisebetoGod · 22/05/2025 09:55

Jesus teaches us that He is the sole path to God and eternal life:-

I am the way, the truth and the life. No-one comes to the Father except through me.
(John 14.6)

Did your relative believe in Jesus? Believe He is the Son of God?

You don't state the crime but even one as serious as murder can be forgiven through the sacrament of reconciliation (confession). By confessing our sins alongside true repentance and atonement we are able to receive absolution, forgiveness from God.
Our God is just and full of love and mercy!

Catholics also believe in purgatory. Purgatory is a process in which, even after forgiveness, our souls may need further purification before entering the Kingdom of Heaven.

I hope this brings you some comfort. GOD BLESS.

Justmerach · 27/05/2025 12:03

Sorry to hear this. Some church's put on this thing called Bereavement
cafe and it is meant to help with this and people are trained to help and give advice and console. Look one up. We have one in our church and my neighboring town. You might one you can attend.
This is an example of one-
https://www.achurchnearyou.com/church/6689/service-and-events/events/586759/

RedOtter101 · 27/05/2025 12:41

Hi OP

I am sorry for your loss.

The first thing in Catholicism is that we can't judge, God is the judge not us.
We also don't know what is in people's hearts, only God knows
It is possible that your family member confessed to a priest and you don't know about it.
It's possible that they reached "perfect contrition" (ie. they truly repented)before they passed away
We don't know.
We do know that God is merciful and hears our prayers. Pray for the departed and trust in God's mercy.

I'd recommend looking into the Divine Mercy devotion if you're interested in learning more about trusting in the infinite mercy of God.

Summerflowers6 · 01/06/2025 16:12

So do we believe we meet our relatives again in our death
What if we don't want to see them again,what if we found them to anxiety inducing as people,.and we were always scared of them .
Now I'm worried about dying in case they are waiting for me .
I know that sounds odd ,which is why I'm asking on here ,rather than asking out loud to a person

OP posts:
Summerflowers6 · 01/06/2025 16:20

Also
What is to stop them watching us ,how do we know weather they are or not .
How can god stop them watching us ,like getting changed or worse .
When you look back to the cavemen and all the people that have ever lived on earth ,are they still in heaven..is there really room for that many people.
What about people who don't believe in our god ,but believe in their own ..what do we believe about that .
I did actually go to a catholic school,and my DC did ,plus we used to go to church every week ,but none of these questions were ever discussed that I can remember

OP posts:
PraisebetoGod · 01/06/2025 16:22

Catholics believe we will meet our loved ones in heaven but please don't worry because we also understand that heaven is a place of eternal joy and our relationships there are raised to a higher plane. Any issues you have had here on earth won't exist in heaven. I suggest speaking to your priest he will perhaps be able to provide some clarity on catholic teachings and be better placed to reassure you.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/06/2025 16:34

No, a bad person will not be waiting for you and would not be watching you get changed; being bad and still doing unpleasant/abusive things wouldn't be compatible with being in Heaven, as it would mean they hadn't repented and therefore couldn't be forgiven. So if they are in Heaven, none of that would happen.

Looking at the size, I think if an entire Universe can be created with all the stars, planets, oceans, mountains, land and all the living things, it's not going to be difficult to find somewhere to put all the tiny little people that have ever lived or will live.

As far as believers of other religions go, it's a matter of debate. But you're Catholic, so you will be fine and will not have to make nice with your abuser.

Have you considered going to Mass and asking for advice at all? Your Priest should be able to counsel you on this from a far more learned perspective.

Summerflowers6 · 01/06/2025 16:44

I have been to church recently,to pray ,and I hoped to speak to a priest,but no one was around to chat to .

OP posts:
PraisebetoGod · 01/06/2025 16:46

Perhaps you could reach out to your priest via email and ask to meet him at a time mutually convenient?

Justmerach · 11/06/2025 19:09

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