I'm catholic,and I've had a death in the family,if your Catholic can you help me

[Summerflowers6]

A very close relative has died
The relative,did some bad things ,things you go prison for, for a very long time
Do they still go to heaven,if they did bad things,but sometimes we're a good person.

I'm sorry you're going through this. If they were truly repentant then every sin is forgiveable.

I'm a Catholic and had bad things happen to me by a family member when I was a vulnerable child.

My view (as a believer) is that he will truly know the impact of his crime and repent for what he did in the next life. I don't visit his grave or anything.

Do family members know what he did to you? Do you have anyone in real life to talk to? 💐

Just to say it can make grief complicated - I was surrounded by people grieving for him but I'd had a traumatising experience with him that still impacts today so I didn't know whether to grieve or not. It's okay to feel ambivalent.

I was raised a Catholic, but don’t believe in anything.

Don’t they believe that if you repent, you go to heaven? Or something like that.

I think God makes a path for everyone to go to heaven. He will make it fair and put all right. Trust in him and have no fear.

I am agnostic but hope the truly bad people in this world that have caused much suffering burn in hell for eternity.

Apologies OP - I thought he might have done something to you but obviously it could be something more general.

Whatever has happened, I wish you peace.

Is anything a person can do really bad enough that you want them to burn for all eternity? I don't think so personally.

Yes!

You want people to suffer burning forever, all eternity, non-stop? Really?

I think I have already given you my answer!

Ok, we'll agree to differ. I wouldn't wish burning forever on anyone, not even the worst criminal. If that makes me strange, so be it!

God is holy, just and he is merciful. He knows peoples hearts. We have to trust him. I think people have a choice about how close to god they are after they have died. That’s just what I think.

Hi Op I'm a Catholic too and both my parents were extremely cruel to me and did things to me that they should have been imprisoned for too. In fact my mother has actually stated this directly to me but has never shown the slightest regret nor apologised. My father is dead now and my mother is still alive. I live by the saying "God pays debts so you don't have to" as I can't actually cope with the idea of foregiveness in this particular case. I just sincerely hope that I never have to come across either of them in the next life and that the good Lord will protect me eternally from them,. I try to live my life in a gentle, kind and caring way and really hope you find comfort and have joy in your life somewhere.

I'm just worried he's not gone to heaven
I always thought bad people go to hell
But people can do bad things and do good things .
I don't know if you can say someone is a bad person,if they only did some bad things in an entire life span
I knew about the bad things but I never believed that he did them ,but good people don't deliberately hurt other people,so I'm now worried he did do them ,and I was stupid to not realise it was true
I've been to church and prayed to god to forgive him ,
But I don't know if it works like that .

I’m sorry for your loss. Will it help you to pray for their soul? I’m thinking/hoping that they are repentant and will want to be with God. God won’t turn away a repentant soul.

Be kind to yourself x

You don't have to worry how it works. But I believe it does work in a way we can never understand. Whatever is right will have happened. If God exists at all he knows your relative through and through. He is not going to make any mistakes. He knows all the good your relative did. Whether you pray or understand it is not relevant. You just have to trust.

The whole premise of Christianity is that everyone sins, and if they truly repent they will be forgiven. You don't need to be catholic to know that

@Summerflowers6you could offer the plenary indulgence of this year’s Jubilee Year of Mercy for the soul of your relative. Below is a link which explains all about it, but basically you receive confession and communion, and visit one of the special Jubilee churches (there are some in every diocese - i can have a look for you if you tell me your general location.)

These actions by you can then be offered up for the ‘remission of all temporal punishment due to sin’ that your relative would otherwise be subject to after death.

Don’t worry about all the technical jargon, this link explains it all very simply and clearly.

https://rcdow.org.uk/jubilee-2025/the-jubilee-indulgence-step-by-step/

HTH xx

God Is perfectly just and perfectly merciful.

Your relative will have an opportunity to repent, if they haven’t already done so.

Please grieve for the person you knew, who was not perfect, who did good things and bad things as we all do.

We don’t only love perfect people. If we could be perfect we wouldn’t need Jesus.

Jesus said, ‘Let the dead look after the dead.’. You focus on living your best life, and perhaps on building a personal relationship with God to support you through troubling times.

That's the whole point of praying for their soul. You fulfil your duty as a Catholic by praying, then it's up to God to do the rest. As a Catholic, you'll know/believe that God doesn't make mistakes and will listen to your prayers whilst knowing the truth, so whatever happens to your relative is what is right.

You can't do more than that.

Only god knows but remember it doesn't change your experience of them. Good or bad

We all have to live with uncertainty like that.

People are all a mix of good and evil, and if we believe in God, we are asked to leave judgement in his hands. Only God can see the entirety of a heart.

The justice system has a more limited scope, and it exists separately from the workings of divine mercy.

Yes to this.

The third option is purgatory where your soul goes in the interim rather than straight to heaven and hell. As I understand it, if all goes well you are purged of your sins

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zyrrpbk/revision/3#:~:text=Purgatory-,The%20Catholic,its%20biblical%20basis%20in%20scripture.