Any Witches here? Part 20

[speakout]

Or Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.
A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration..
This is the 18th thread- anyone looking for a deep dive into juicy magical topics may like to browse previous threads.....
It is a long list!!
Part 1 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3241689-Any-witches-here?pg=1
Part 2
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3338025-Any-Witches-Here-Part-2?pg=1
Part 3
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3366411-Any-Witches-Here-Part-3?pg=1
Part 4
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3404406-Any-Witches-Here-Part-4-Edited-by-MNHQ?pg=1
Part5
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3437092-Any-Witches-Here-Part-5?pg=1
Part 6 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3482023-Any-Witches-Here-Part-6?pg=1
Part 7 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3520269-Any-Witches-Here-Part-7?pg=1
Part 8 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/a3568622-Any-Witches-Here-Part-8?pg=1
Part 9 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3637696-Any-Witches-Here-Part-9?pg=1
Part 10
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3726266-Any-Witches-Here-Part-10
Part 11
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3850635-Any-Witches-Here-Part-11
Part 12
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3997761-Any-Witches-Here-Part-12
Part 13 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4116107-Any-Witches-here-Part-13
Part 14www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4213962-Any-Witches-Here-Part-14
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4328830-Any-Witches-Here-Part-15?msgid=113505801
www.mumsnet.com/talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4435233-Any-Witches-Here-Part-16?page=40&reply=118807589

www.mumsnet.com/talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4598225-any-witches-here-part-17?page=40&reply=122990208

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4717929-any-witches-here-part-18?page=1

I hope this new moon has brought some uplifting energy and calm to everyone.

The past month has been a hard one for me, I have been feeling ground down with family issues, and feeling over sensitive when I hear of all the pain and violence in the world. Deep existential navel gazing has brought me no comfort, only exacerbating feelings of fragility.

This week has brought some relief - after a few good days. outings and caring for myself I feel in a better place, and my mind is at ease.

A new woman's circle has started near me- I have attended a few full moon circles at this one place, which are amazing, but often over subscribed, so a new moon event has also been added. So that means I have the option of 3 per month- and one is only a mile from me. I was tempted to attend last night, but feeling very tired so I had an early sleep instead.

Now that my week seems settled into an easy groove I intend to help keep it on track.

How did you find your women's circles?

Good morning all! @speakout so glad that rest and days out have helped bring relief.

The week has yet to arrange itself in my head due to the bank hol’. It feels as if it should be Wednesday today. I’m seeing a friend for some Shamanic healing today, which I hope will put some of my energies back in the right place.

@speakout so sorry you're feeling ground down, but I'm glad some proper self care has helped. I can empathise. Some days I just feel like being a new parent is just bags of guilt every day for something or other.

I have clinically diagnosed insomnia, so nights with a baby - even a good sleeper like ours - are frustratingly difficult. DH has taken many nights in a row to allow me to sleep (we operate a 2 on, one off for him). But I gave him a night off last night so he could catch up, and now I'm completely ruined on 2h (babe slept fine! It's all me 😭). Cue him being quite irritated with me (he does care, but he's just not good at hiding when he's irritated). And saying he feels guilty for his lie in. I don't want that. But I can't pretend I'm ok either on 2h sleep. It makes you want to cry!

I do sort of get it, but like with any MH issue, it's not like you're doing it on purpose. I'd like nothing better than to sleep like a log, or even just get to sleep of a night (my brain finally clocked off at 4am. Babe up at 6). Sometimes I can even feel that perhaps DH could do better than me - such is the burden of those of us with MH issues. Always feeling guilty, whereas if I had a broken leg I don't think I'd feel like that! Isn't it so frustrating.

ISaySteadyOn- I think I found one of my circle groups on Meetup or Eventbrite, I can't remember which, but I found one of them on google- searching for "womens circle" or similar. That group is in shamanic tradition, deep, a bit ceremonial with ritual which I love. The group is led by a Brazilian woman on full and new moons.
The other women's circle I attended a couple of weeks ago was at a local privately owned yoga centre, I take the odd yoga class there and stumbled across the event on their web site.
I hope you find a group near you, opening our hearts and sharing at a deep level is so healing. All of the women I have met at these events have such beautiful energy.

I've just started attending a new drumming circle in a nearby town! So chuffed that it's happening and everyone seems very nice.
We actually gelled together really well, both with drumming and chanting.without anyone being too self conscious to join in.

Late night greetings, hope I'm not the only one up watching the amazing spectacle tonight's sky brings. So powerful and beautiful.

I need to look up the women's circle or similar activity around here, it sounds inspiring when you ladies write about yours (the drumming circle sounds awesome!). There's decent activity around in general but lots is during workdays when I can't attend...

Wonderful weekend to all!

Beautiful photos @SeaEssence my Facebook feed is full of photos but the whole thing passed me by somehow and I slept through it! Apparently they're meant to be visible again tonight so will set my alarm and get up to have a look.

I've not been to a women's circle for a while. There used to be three that I would go to regularly, but the women who ran them have all moved away in the last year or so. I got a lot from them at a time when I really needed the strength of being with other women. I've been looking at events to mark the summer solstice, there's a few things going on but not sure which one I want to do yet.

The weather is gorgeous today. I went to an early Pilates class and I'm now enjoying sitting in the garden with a coffee. Plan for today is to go to the garden centre for some plants this morning and a trip to IKEA this afternoon with DS who needs a new wardrobe. Blessings to you all for a peaceful weekend.

Giggorata I love the sound of your drumming group, I think many techniques used in circles, groups or ceremonies can heal us at a very deep level.

I missed the Aurora too, I will make an effort to go sky watching tonight.

MaculataO life can be tough with a new baby- poor sleep impacts everything.

My first baby was small, just over 5 lbs in weight, full term but healthy thankfully.
He fed very well, and I was lucky that breastfeeding was easy for me- but he fed every two hours day and night for a month. He piled on weight and jumped up many centiles in the first couple of months.

But breastfeeding and night wakening was hard at the beginning- I also devoured many baby books as a lot of my day was spent nursing.

One book I read was Baby Wisdom by Deborah Jackson ( she also wrote Three in a Bed) and one chapter was a game changer for me.

Jackson described so well human sleep patterns.
Here in the West we accept a solid block of 7/8 hours uninterrupted sleep as "normal"- so called monophasic sleep pattern. Apparently that style of sleeping only became the norm with the advent of the industrial revolution -functions and requirements of the factory.

We don't have to look too far to observe biphasic sleep patterns all over the world- many countries will have a siesta in the afternoon for a few hours, then stay up comparatively late in the evening, sleeping only 5 hours or so at night.

Polyphasic sleep still exists in first nation or tribal cultures, for some their nights are punctuated by frequent wakenings, to stoke the fire, have quiet conversations with those around, but don't sleep in solid long blocks.

Sleep researchers suggest that it is the total amount of sleep in a 24 hour period that is important, even if that happens in chunks. We also need to sleep for at least 90 minutes to allow requirement of deep sleep stages.

So for a few months I would often go to bed with my baby at 6-7pm, and despite frequent night feeds I would wake the next day feeling refreshed.

I am not a sleep expert- or a baby expert, but simply knowing more about sleep patterns and making some temporary adjustments really helped me.
Feel free to totally disregard this- no two babies or mothers are the same, we all face challenges differently, I hope things improve for you soon MaculataO

Dropping in to wonder where on earth the time goes, but while I was catching up on posts this one stood out - @MaculataO one of my best friends is a long term vegan, the least judgemental person I've ever met, very easygoing and doesn't give a monkeys about what other people are eating, yet she gets so many people saying stupid things similar to what you've outlined. So much so, she ran a blog called Not The Vegan Police for a few years, because she always said people would get really defensive about what they were eating and she wasn't or vice versa, and she just wanted to eat and chat without the drama.

If it helps, I often get similar about being both single and childfree by choice and intending to stay that way always. I've been single, celibate, joyfully solo for ten years this year and had a big chunk of solo time between my two relationships too, and have never wanted children. People still want to tell me that they know better than I do, that I will change my mind / end up lonely / never know what love means / miss out / insert stupid comment here. I think some people, even when utterly lovely in other ways, just can't get their heads round something which they'd never do being permanent for someone else.

And like what's on your plate, none of it is anyone else's business - it's just our choice!!

Sending hugs!!

Ooof big catch up read done and now of course I can't remember all the things I wanted to reply to!

@Hedjwitch I have been thinking of you tho I've not been online much, the first few weeks after Dad's funeral I found harder than the weeks between his death and the funeral so I hope you're as ok as you can be and looking after yourself, and hopefully also have people looking after you. Sending love your way.

@speakout I learn something new almost every time I read a post of yours, but the sleep thing really resonated - as a night owl who is often up and down several times in the night (and @queenrollo I am also being tested for loss of kidney function/CKD partly because of this, sending hugs your way), I have never managed to sleep the way we're "supposed" to in the west. It's amazing to hear different views and ways of approaching it.

@tattygrl welcome! This is one of my favourite places on the internet even tho I have been very sporadic posting lately.

@RosePombear congrats on new pregnancy - can imagine it feels a bit wtf, but one of my besties had her two with the same gap and while the early months were hard, her logic was she was up at night and doing nappies anyway, and they are an absolute delight now at 7 and 8 (have always been but I appreciate being auntie at a distance means not experiencing the relentlessness of some stages!) Everything is the same or similar stage for them, so days out and trips and toys and everything are all much easier to coordinate.

I also missed the memo about the aurora and all my photography friends and all my other friends seemed to get it, so I will be joining you in setting an alarm and looking for it tonight @VioletCharlotte - am actually very reassured it wasn't just me that missed it!

I've had a stressful few months (is there any other kind?!) but Gran is better than she was and I am starting to feel a lot more myself again - which is manifesting itself in curiosity, making things and actually speaking to humans again, so this is positive and I hope it lasts. I'd forgotten how lovely it feels because it's been absent for so long.

I made some little spellbook shaped candle holders from air dry clay and sparkly paint as I often use birthday cake candles for spellwork - they're more portable and burn time fits better into my ridiculous life - and I am so pleased with them as usually anything 3D is absolutely not my creative medium.

Also found a new very modern but beautifully illustrated tarot deck in tk maxx of all places - will try and attach photos of both.

Otherwise not much to report, writing retreat and our women's circle there was magical, I'm now not travelling anywhere overnight so I can be around more for Gran and Mum, and I'm opening my studio publicly for the first time for our village's art trail this month. I can't believe I've been there six months but it is the most glorious space and I'm determined to keep it by hook or by crook (or preferably just by continuing to make enough money from my work to pay for it 😂)

Love to all of you and hope your weekend is full of sunshine and peace xx

Thank you for asking, and for all the kind messages. One month today since mum died. How can that be so?
I'm shocked by how little I think about her..either in denial or it just hasnt sunk in. There is no sense of loss. Its as if she never was. A very strange feeling. I was distraught when my best friend died 3 years ago and wept for months,doubled over in actual pain. So I know I can grieve.

The sunshine today lured me out and I did a little gardening, planted pots, cleared the pond of its slimy green weed.

For the first time this year thoughts turned to healing and hedge witchery and I picked plantain from the garden to make an infused oil. I really must pick some of the young nettles too.

That makes a strange kind of sense to me though @Hedjwitch - she's your mum so she lives on in you, so in a way she'll never be truly gone? I'm so sorry for losing your best friend too, I can't even imagine - but there's no right or wrong way to be, bereavement is shit.

Your garden always sounds so lovely, mine is definitely a work in progress but I'm inspired by you and our other greenfingered sisters! xxx

Hedjwitch I am glad to hear that you are turning to healing thoughts. The loss of a loved one is difficult, and no two people grieve in the same way. There is no right or wrong, and often the pain will manifest in unexpected ways- needing a lot more sleep, feeling quick to anger, our moods and emotions unpredictable.
Treat yourself with compassion, even if the ugly comes to the surface, it is part of the process and it is hard work.
I love your craft work hilariousnamehere, I also think allowing our creativity to flow and play is very healing. I didn't know TK max sold tarot decks- I will seek them out next time.
No aurora show here last night, I am not sure if there is another forecast for tonight.
It is my DDs birthday today, no plans as yet, as she hadn't finalised a meeting with her best friend. But that's OK, I have her gifts, the day will unfold- I will see her at some point.
She has grown into such a beautiful young woman, so full of empathy, courage, understanding of others.
It is an unexpected aspect of motherhood when our children become wise and start giving us advice.
She is single, shares a rented flat ( lovely but expensive) in the city, her flatmate is moving out soon to live with her boyfriend so my DD needs to find another flatmate soon.
She has handed in her notice at work, ( although still teaches dance a few hours a week) and decided not to accept the post graduate course she has been offered, so lots of uncertainty in her life right now, job, money, living situation, I know that would send me into a tail spin of anxiety and triggered into fear.

But not for my DD- she cruises through life with such optimism and rarely feels anxious. She wants time and space to work out her life direction and I admire that.
I have offered her financial help and a room in our family home as back up, but last time we spoke she has lined up four viewings for a new flatmate this coming week, found two new part time jobs- both working with children, and has had her dance teaching hours increased. So working three jobs in a self employed status,, but slightly less than full time overall, all at three times the UK minimum hourly wage. She hopes that this working plan will give her time to consider any potential next move.
I am so blown away by her approach, and courage.
My life at 24 was so so different to my DDs. I was really struggling with my MH- although things were different back then, and I didn't really know that I had MH issues.
My ( much older) husband was an abusive bully, most weeks I would have injuries. . He was a gambler and although we both worked I foolishly took out loans and credit cards to pay for essentials.
It didn't occur to me that there could be another way of living, and even after leaving him my life became much much worse.

Watching my DD journey through life with healthy self-esteem and self worth is healing for me also, to see how life can be - she is inspiring because she claims her right to exist, take up space and set boundaries.
Even in my cronehood I am learning so much from this amazing young woman, it is a privilege to be her mother.

@speakout that's such a lovely thing to read. You sound like such an incredible mum to have nurtured such a wonderful, content, and kind soul into this world. I hope to do the same for my little boy. My wish is that he isn't anxious like me, or lacking in confidence. and that he moves through the world with wonder, joy, confidence and contentment too.

I took my mother back to her house today. Her ashes,in a wooden box. Put them.in her bedroom where her bed used to be. It would be her birthday on Saturday. 18th May.
I plan to cleanse her house with sage and myrrh to end her association with it.
Then I will bring her to my house. I will have a fire and burn rosemary,for remembrance. What else should I do to say goodbye and let her energy go free.

Sending love and strength, @Hedjwitch - what a lovely daughter you are. I love that you've brought your mum home to hers and will mark her time there by cleansing before moving her to yours.

We took some of Dad's ashes and put them on his mum's grave - she died when he was 10 and he never really came to terms with it, so we wanted to reunite them and also give his sister somewhere to visit and remember him as we live at opposite corners of the country. The rest are in a beautiful spot in the crematorium gardens as he wasn't fussed about scattering and Mum wanted somewhere they could be together when she passes too. It took us 18 months to be ready to do this as it felt like the final goodbye, so don't feel you have to rush.

I didn't do much in the way of ceremony or ritual, but do light a candle for Dad often and always if I pass a church that's open - covering all bases! Where his ashes are, we change the flowers seasonally - silk ones so they don't die, Mum hates dead real flowers and I'm also not keen, but while they're often a flower that's meaningful to us as a family, we usually combine that with a flower that's appropriate for spring (when he died), summer (his birthday), autumn (no specific association) and winter (mum and dad's anniversary and christmas).

I've put a memorial plaque in my garden, just a small one, and Mum has one in hers - mine is by my garden bar so I can sit out there on a summer morning and still chat to him. Seven years on I still talk to him most days!

Also found writing letters to him, which I still have in a beautiful box and I still add to sometimes, very helpful for processing. Wrote some by hand and some on one of my ancient typewriters because bashing the keys helped with the furious state of grief (I was angry with the situation not with him but it was still therapeutic!)

Not sure if any of that helps, or even is letting go really - my witchery and my ability to concentrate deserted me after he died so I just followed my instinct each day really.

Sending you lots of love and will light a candle for you and your Mum on the 18th xx

@Hedjwitch What a lovely way to honour your mum, and I hope you find ways to mark her birthday, now and in the future. I’ll always mark the day - with flowers and a candle and by doing something that mum enjoyed, wearing her jewellery. I hope you find what feels right for you.

Sending love your way @Hedjwitch .

Thank you.
Tomorrow a sea swim for me for healing and cleansing.
Then to mums to smudge the whole house and allow her energies to disconnect and go free. A blue candle for peace.
In the evening,a fire. Incense of myrrh,frankincense and sandalwood. White and lilac candles. Later on the embers, the burning of rosemary,sage,thyme,rowan and mugwort.
A ceremony open to the four compass points and the four elements.
Champagne to celebrate the Callieach.

And finally,sparklers. Just because.

I hope your day goes smoothly today, and starts to bring you healing Hedjwitch .

It has been a bumpy week, not so bad as the past month or two, but I have needed to work on maintaining a smooth path through rocky waters . It has been challenging though. OH has been away all week- yet again- leaving me to be the responsible adult in the house- caring for two other adults.
Thankfully I don't get involved in heavy duty care- lifting or personal care, but I am the only one who does laundry, food shopping, hoovering. cleaning dishes, floors, toilets and laundry. At times I have felt quite trapped.
I have really focussed on ways of lightening my load. I do very little cooking for others - I have really stepped back on that- but I make sure my fridge is stocked with ready meals, cheese, milk, sandwich meat, salad, always fresh bread and fruit.
My own meals are simple, and I eat what I enjoy, but tends to be foods that my family don't enjoy,
So despite having challenges this week - feeling a bit burned out, low mood and anxiety calling me to muster I have nipped those in the bud as soon as I am aware. I find it much more effective to deal with unpleasant thoughts and emotions as soon as they arise, for me that usually stops them from escalating, growing. I let them have their say, but then usher them out of my mind before they settle in.
It can be tiring to bring such conscious management to my internal landscape, but early intervention prevents future pain and dysregulation for me.

I have a yoga class booked this morning at one of the fancy places in the next village- it's a treat to myself, It is too expensive to practice there regularly, but lovely as a one off.
I hope the weekend is kind to us all sisters.

@speakout I can relate to being the one doing the caring and feeling trapped by all you have to do. I hope yoga is a way into you today.

I’m off to an aqua aerobics class this morning, then taking Mr C for a hair cut and a coffee somewhere quiet and pleasant. Then it’s batch cooking and various other tasks - also got some essay writing to shoehorn in somewhere this weekend. Peace and calm, all.

A perfect day. A sea swim first then I opened all the and windows at mums and smudged the house,freeing any residual energies. Then I sat in the rocking chair in her garden with her casket on my knees and we said goodbye to the house.
Tonight a fire in the garden. Incense of myrrh,frankincense and sandalwood. White candles for purification and violet for love.
We burned rosemary for remembrance,rowan for protection,mugwort for safe astral travels,sage for wisdom,and thyme for restful sleep.
I asked her to move towards the light.
It is done. So mote it be.

That sounds perfect Hedjwitch. I wish your mum a safe journey, and peace and love to you.

That is beautiful, Hedjwitch. May she travel safely, and your heart be comforted.