Any Witches here? Part 20

[speakout]

Or Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.
A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration..
This is the 18th thread- anyone looking for a deep dive into juicy magical topics may like to browse previous threads.....
It is a long list!!
Part 1 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3241689-Any-witches-here?pg=1
Part 2
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3338025-Any-Witches-Here-Part-2?pg=1
Part 3
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3366411-Any-Witches-Here-Part-3?pg=1
Part 4
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3404406-Any-Witches-Here-Part-4-Edited-by-MNHQ?pg=1
Part5
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3437092-Any-Witches-Here-Part-5?pg=1
Part 6 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3482023-Any-Witches-Here-Part-6?pg=1
Part 7 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3520269-Any-Witches-Here-Part-7?pg=1
Part 8 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/a3568622-Any-Witches-Here-Part-8?pg=1
Part 9 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3637696-Any-Witches-Here-Part-9?pg=1
Part 10
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3726266-Any-Witches-Here-Part-10
Part 11
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3850635-Any-Witches-Here-Part-11
Part 12
//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/3997761-Any-Witches-Here-Part-12
Part 13 //www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4116107-Any-Witches-here-Part-13
Part 14www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4213962-Any-Witches-Here-Part-14
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4328830-Any-Witches-Here-Part-15?msgid=113505801
www.mumsnet.com/talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4435233-Any-Witches-Here-Part-16?page=40&reply=118807589

www.mumsnet.com/talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4598225-any-witches-here-part-17?page=40&reply=122990208

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality/4717929-any-witches-here-part-18?page=1

Thank you all. It was a long day. Church service was dull and had me gritting my teeth but I got through it. The sight of the 4 grandsons carrying the coffin was heartbreaking. She was a large lady and I was terrified they were going to drop her!

The service at the Crem was better. More personal, nice and funny readings,and the kids had done a slide show of Grandma doing lots of funny things which made everyone laugh.

The sun actually shone which allowed us to spill out into the garden later.

Now,I think tbe tough bit begins. I live just a few streets away and saw her several times a week...

@hedgewitch sending you a warm hug and strength. xxx

I’m so glad there was laughter and good memories @Hedjwitch but you are so right that this is the point where the hard work begins. I find we live in a society that wants to rush us through the important transitions in life, especially grief. I hope you have people in your life who give you the time and space you need.

Hedjwitch I am glad things went smoothly and the day included sun and laughter.
I think the ceremony of a funeral- no matter what type- can be helpful to those who are bereaved.
Losing a loved one is painful, and it takes time to process loss.
But a funeral can mark a change- an ending and a new beginning, it brings some closure. I know when my father died- he had been ill for a number of years- it was a time of great sadness, but a time of release too.
We all grieve in different ways though, but being kind to ourselves always helps.
OH has a day off work today, so we will head to a retail park this morning, I need to do some birthday shopping for DD. She has been plagued by ill health this year, but she soldiers on.
I will give my yoga class a miss this morning, I have to work too, and don't want the day to be cramped time wise. At last OH is around to man the kitchen and make sure everyone is fed.

Have a magical day sisters.

So glad there were some parts to the day that felt more warm and natural @Hedjwitch - solidarity and support to you. And yes, society (capitalism/over culture) really does like to power humans past important points in life like grief and get us back to being 'productive' asap. It's rough. and really misses the whole point of being a human walking this earth.

I had an interesting weekend with very old, dear friends. Some parts to it however, often make me feel like the odd man out. I am plant-based and my diet never fails to be a talking point with them (despite the fact I've never wanted to speak about it or instigated any conversations myself!) I still get asked questions and take minor jibes even after 10 years following this diet! It's absolutely my personal choice what's on my plate and I'd never discuss or say anything about what another person chooses to eat. But apparently I continue to be fair game. It's quite exhausting. Why are they so obsessed with what I eat! I don't mind questions about good recipes or brands that make things I eat. But the jibes ('want some bacon?') or incredulous remarks like 'but don't you just want to eat a huge bit of cheese?' really tiring - especially as I'm not newly plant-based. I've been doing this for ages. And I've been fire fighting those questions for 10 years!!
It makes me wonder if deep down they still don't approve, and cannot accept it and don't want to let me off the hook. Like they won't rest until I eat a brie and bacon baguette lol. I feel like saying 'sure you don't approve that's fine, but I'm not changing after ten years and its my life, and I don't judge yours so just give it up! And let's chat about literally anything else.' It's the only friendship group that treats me this way. All my other ones don't even mention my diet (why would they!) It's as ordinary as the fact I breathe or brush my teeth. Its clear its a thinly veiled constant disapproval and I feel like its my defining feature when I'm with them which is so boring. For me (and I'd like to think for them too!) It's not all of them, its usually the same 2-3. Wondered if anyone here had experienced similar (with any aspect of life)?

MaculataO I am sorry that your friends are behaving like this. They are belittling you and that must feel uncomfortable.

Good friends don't behave like this, it is low level bullying and disrespectful.
You owe no-one an explanation for the choices you make.

It doesn't matter why they are doing this - but they do.
I wouldn't tolerate it and I would let them know their words and jibes are hurtful.

If they continue despite your requests then I would be moving away from that circle group.

@MaculataO it’s just quite childish really, isn’t it?
I have a small appetite and certain friends always made such a big deal of it that I actually developed a phobia of eating anywhere but at home.
I am well past it now, and none of my social circle now would comment at all. If I turn down extra servings, or leave lots on my plate at a restaurant, no one comments.
Sometimes I think actually bluntly calling out this behaviour is the way forward.

I am starting to feel a little better, mentally. Physically I am a wreck and feel my body is exhausted, I have a GP appointment this week. Hoping for exploration and solutions. I am apparently being monitored for loss of kidney function, though not actually told this. I just happen to be intelligent enough to figure out what the 3 monthly blood tests are for.

Finally got some Spring weather here and spent a few glorious hours in the garden

@MaculataO sorry your friends are being so tedious. I’ve been veggie for decades, which is nothing unusual nowadays, but used to earn me interrogations about why I don’t eat meat from some quarters. I don’t know why people do this but guess they feel threatened by your choices. I’d be tempted to administer a dose of their own medicine: ‘would you like some vegetables? Oh no, you don’t, do you! How do you manage the scurvy and constipation, then?’ It’s also this sort of person who will insist we ‘go on’ about being veggie or vegan when it’s they who seem obsessed.

@Hedjwitch glad to hear last week went reasonably well, sending positive energy x

@MaculataO I confess to being guilty of sometimes questioning my veggie friends - though not in a jokey, jibey way. Thank you for your post, I will be more conscious of it in future. I am genuinely interested in the reasons behind, recipes and inspiration. I admit the reason that I do this is because I incline to the idea very much, but I find it hard to give up meat - especially fish and seafood. I suspect with raising awareness a lot of people realise the benefits and are subconsciously interested, but are not ready to switch yet - the way your friends approach the subject screams insecurity to me. Not a reason to make you uncomfortable though!
Semi-related: On holiday, I bought some prawn spring rolls and left one because I was too full - my 11yo DS took it and ate it later, because "that prawn died for nothing if we throw it away". That was such a powerful eye-opener!

Blessed Beltane sisters, I hope life is treating you gently.

Beltane blessings, all! My marigold seedlings have come into flower today. I will try and post a photo later, when they are fully out. Otherwise, my day is work and chores. I will try to find some space to reflect as well. 🌼

Blessed Beltane to all!
I'm enjoying a quiet day at work for once, as most of Europe has bank holiday today. Might break in a fireplace that we got at the end of last summer and never got to use...

Beltane blessings sisters ❤️ I've just been for a (rather wet) run. Im enjoying the lighter evenings and looking forward to the warmer weather that's (hopefully!) on its way.

@MaculataO sorry to hear about your experience. People are so quick to comment on other peoples eating habits. I've been veggie for years, but also mainly dairy free (not vegan though) and have several weird intolerances which people always have an opinion on. I've also got some complicated issues around food, probably linked to having a mother who was constantly dieting and commenting on peoples weight. Consequently I really don't enjoy eating out at all really unless I'm with really close, trusted friends.

@queenrollo so sorry to hear you have been so unwell, I really hope they can get to the bottom of what is going on. It seeks to take so long to get anything done. Glad to hear you're doing ok mentally though.

Blessed Beltane 🧡. This is the first sabbat I’ve openly observed. I was helped by my lovely DP and DS. We had a little bonfire last night and made a maypole. I hope May brings you all happiness, health and peace. Thank you for this space x

Blessed Beltane sisters, my DH is unwell so we will be having a quiet one. I had a little ceremony last night, and we had a nice meal today. I hope that this wonderful time of year brings you all peace and abundance.

Blessed Beltane sisters❤️. I hope you are all well.
I’ve been struggling recently, we found out a couple of weeks ago that I’m pregnant again. It was completely unexpected and although we have decided to continue with the pregnancy I’m still coming to terms with it all. DD is still only 8 months old and I hadn’t been planning on having another baby for at least a few years, I’m slowly getting into the swing of motherhood and starting to get some of myself back so finding out I will have to experience pregnancy, birth and the baby stage again so soon has really hit me.
It has made me reassess things and I’ve realised that I’ve let myself slip away and my practice has become practically non-existent, so today I made a leap and I have signed up to a women’s circle an hour away from me. Although it will be a long drive there and back it will give me time to myself and fits in well with DD’s routine and they do offer online circles if I can’t attend. I’m tentatively excited, it feels like a big step as I’ve never done anything like this before, I usually practice in solitude and since we moved rurally I find I am craving to be around people. I will see how it goes and hopefully I enjoy it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to be having another baby and I feel very blessed it is just such a huge shock. But just booking this up and making some time for myself has made me feel better about the future.
It is still very early days with the pregnancy, the baby is due on Yule, which will be a little bit of light on the darkest night.

I had the same thing happen to me. They're 10 and 11 now. It is hard on you but when they arrive, if you can find a good playgroup and have a buggy and a sling, it is ok.

If you have any questions about how we managed, please ask.

Thank you so much, that’s really kind of you.

@Nellieinthebarn best wishes for your DH

@RosePombear congratulations! Totally get the mixed feelings, but once the initial shock wears off I'm sure you'll find joy, even if it's not exactly what you had in mind planning. Life rarely is. You're strong and brave woman, you can do it!

Thank you❤️ I am definitely finding joy as the days go by and the shock wears off.

The joy takes over, I found. And it still does. My surprise just learned to slice mushrooms beautifully and recorded a Happy Birthday message to his cousin 😁

I'm still not over the shock of unexpected No 3. He's 22 now!

Could you all send me some positive thoughts? Some little twits threw rocks at one of our doors and broke the glass in it. Now DH has to fix it and it's fantastic that he can. I am glad about that and yet I get irrationally cross when he does which is unhelpful to everyone.

I think the irrational crossness is probably due to his ability highlighting my dyspraxia. I can't physically help and I hate it. It makes me feel awful because there is so much that needs doing and I can't do any of it. And that comes out as me being cross rather than my utter frustration with myself.

ISaySteadyOn

Positive thoughts and candle lit.

I'm so sorry to hear about those idiots, no one should have to live where behaviour like that is not stamped out.

It is good that your dh can fix it, but I'm not sure why you are beating yourself up about not bring able to help him do it.

Please stop seeing your dyspraxia as something negative which makes you "less than" anyone else. It's part of you, you wouldn't be you without it. He loves you, your friends and family love you, all of you, not just the part of you that's not dyspraxic.

My dd is dyspraxic with many more diagnosed conditions, I wouldn't want her any other way.

In my more rational moments, I know that. But I feel it as a disability now a lot of the time.

It's the fact that I would have liked to actually spend some time with DH today and I can't. And then I think of all the things that need doing in the house that we can't get anyone in to do so DH has to do it himself with no help. And if I could just help, then they could get done faster. And I spiral into feeling useless.

But there are other factors too that are bringing me down. Rain, and more rain, the fact I have been stuck in the house for ages because the kids all came down with a virus, not all at once but one after the other, and, of course, it being a particularly unwelcome time of the month.

I wish everyone much more joy than this bank holiday is bringing me.