How do you cope with lack of spirituality around you

[FallingStar21]

I am a spiritual person, not religious per se, but my beliefs are quite close to the Buddhist teachings. I also respect and believe there's truth and wisdom in every religion.
My "issue" is that I struggle with the lack of spirituality around me. I mean mostly at work or random every day places where you need to talk to people etc
I never start a conversation of that sort (in fact I shy away from disclosing anything about my personal faith). But as people love to discuss all kinds of things and share their opinions, I have realised that the majority are very much in the material so their interests and priorities are very different. They can often be very sceptical, if not dismissive, of anything that's not part of it and that's another reason I don't say much on such topics.
Of course everyone has a right to believe or not believe whatever they like, but ithe lack of spiritual awareness and mindfulness is really bringing me down. Anyone else feels that way?

It's not really a lightweight topic for a coffee break, is it? I think you need to be in particular situations or relationships to have those conversations. Preferably over a couple of bottles of wine late at night.

I definitely saw myself as spiritual in my teens and early 20s.

I moved firmly towards material reality by the time I had children. There's something in that unending tether to the here and now - the "shit and the string beans" as Marilyin French calls it in The Women's Room - of parenting young children that rather cuts through ideas of spirituality and theory.

Why does it bother you?

Find like minded people? If not specifically spiritual leaning groups, you could look at book groups - fiction often has spiritual themes or art groups. Yoga, meditation groups, alternative and wellness therapies. Historical interest groups, volunteer on archaeological digs and explore historical beliefs..

Other than that visit churches, abbeys etc - they often welcome visitors. Plenty of spiritual stuff and people interested all around. 🙂

Start accepting it. It's one of the primary teachings of Buddhism.

🤣

I think you just need to broaden your social group

Lots and lots of people are interested in this stuff.

Also, just because someone tells you about their new kitchen at coffee break, doesn’t mean they don’t have a spiritual life.

Do you regularly attend church or equivalent spiritual group?

I’ve just accepted the majority of people just don’t think that way. But you can easily find people who do, Some ideas

Join groups on Facebook, Reddit etc that address your spiritual leanings

find a local spiritual shop, see what events are going on, spiritual bookshops etc

Find a yoga group which inc a philosophical element - make friends with the teacher, go for coffee with some of the students

I do sometimes look at people and wonder why they aren’t thinking about spiritual matters as much, because to me it’s as integral and natural to life as breathing - but not everyone is wired that way. But I do find people with a lack of spiritual awareness generally quite boring and most of the discussions tedious and superficial. On the flip side they most likely think I’m bonkers. But spirituality colours everything you see in the world it can feel like you’re talking a different language to others. It’s good to find someone who speaks your language. It’s tiring living in another culture and speaking a second laguage all the time.

find yourself a retreat to book on.

if your spirituality is Buddhism it’s fairly easy as Buddhism is fairly mainstream.

What sort of things do you want to discuss?

You could also look at how what is spiritual can be seen in the physical world. One book, I feel, that is really inspiring in terms of this is this:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Entangled-Life-Worlds-Change-Futures/dp/B084T51RCY/ref=sr11_1?crid=VF42FPIZIDOZ&keywords=merlin+sheldrake+entangled+life+book&qid=1690481195&s=books&sprefix=Merlin+she%2Cstripbooks%2C105&sr=1-1

OMG2's post is on the right lines..

You can't talk butterfly language to caterpillar people.

Thank you all for the replies, just to clarify I don't expect people to be talking about spiritual stuff left right and centre. I am talking about when people are prejudiced, dismissive or rude about spiritual stuff when it comes in conversation. These types of attitudes have put me off and whilst I don't particularly hide my beliefs, I also tend to not share them even if the topic comes up. Like @OMG12 and @Mysticguru said, it feels like speaking a different language and always having to be mindful or struggling with the second/foreign language. Even with people in my own family as when I've mentioned anything remotely "spiritual" I get weird looks or awkward silence so of course I've learned now that I can't be my true self with them either.

Maybe most of you are right, I need to try to find more like-minded people. I have some friends who share similar but not a group as such. I haven't really been to Buddhist centres as I am not Buddhist, but their teachings are closely related to my own beliefs. Thank you all for taking the time to write and share your advice!

I found I felt similarly alone when I got into law of attraction type beliefs, they're controversial and I'll preface this by saying I have found it an empowering helpful belief for myself to hold - I'm more aware of my emotions and my response and reaction to things I don't like but clearly some people wouldn't find it a helpful belief to hold and I respect that rather than be evangelical about it helping me, definitely don't recommend anyone trying to hold it if it's unhelpful to them

I went through a bit of a process where I had become judgemental about others "lack of spirituality" and it was hugely frustrating to me while I tried to live in some ridiculous bubble of "high vibes" and I operated in a me Vs them mindset- the very one I particularly chose to exit Christianity as a belief system because of

What helped - was getting real with myself that I couldn't control others and couldn't possibly tell how spiritual they were if I was basing it all on my limited observation

Some people don't discuss their beliefs at work, some people don't even consider themselves spiritual and yet live far more spiritual lives by operating kindly and compassionately than those who wear full religious dress etc

It's nice to be able to discuss what interests you with like minded individuals however- you can find them in forums, comments of YouTube videos, places of worship or meditation classes etc

hi, when you say you aren’t Buddhist but share similar beliefs have you done much exploration round various systems - there’s often a lot of overlap? Send a DM if you don’t want to chat openly if you like.

Re not talking about your beliefs to non- spiritual people is probably the best way forward. Most of my friends know I’m into spiritual stuf but have no idea of the details.

I found it very odd, after leaving my Theology degree course, that out in the world people are so godless! You get used to it after a while.

When I started teaching (RS) I was blessed to be working with mainly Muslim pupils, who were familiar with belief and with religious terms and concepts. Also when I taught in a Christian school, it was lovely to be able to attend worship with pupils and staff who knew.

So, OP, keep looking, find your tribe.

@FallingStar21
@Mysticguru "You can't talk butterfly language to caterpillar people."

Word of advice? Don't say things like that!

You are right that people are very materialistic, but can you blame them?- look at our media, its always about buying the next thing if we want to be happy, we are literally brainwashed with this from birth. If you dig a little deeper in conversations you'll always find evidence of the soul searching for meaning. I am not saying start conversations about religion/spirituality but things people find meaning in. That could be helping others, art, self expression in other ways, dance, writing, etc I believe all of these come from our higher self and are expressions of our souls. It doesnt always come out via religion or adherence to spiritual philosophies. I have yet to find a person that didnt express some form of their spiritual self in something- look for that and you'll find the spark there.

Why not? It’s what many with spiritual beliefs feel?

it might not be advisable to say it at work but between people with spiritual beliefs, I’d say it’s entirely appropriate language because it accurately reflects a feeling. Maybe this thread isn’t for you? It’s about connecting to other spiritual people.

@OMG12 Because thinking of yourself as a butterfly and others as caterpillars is rude, dismissive and closed minded.

Why? Maybe the problem lies in what your perception of a caterpillar and a butterfly are. No one is saying one is better than the other apart from you.

Exactly. If you can't see the spiritual in everyone, then you have a lot further to travel in your own learning, @Mysticguru. You would be better off focused on developing your own spirituality than in making smug assumptions about others.

Yeah well, it was just a word of advice. You could change caterpillar to hummingbird if you don't want to be misunderstood.

Yes, it sounds extremely arrogant. Not a very "spiritual" response.🙄

@CurlewKate A caterpillar and a butterfly are essentially the same, it's only about a different perspective. The caterpillar lacking the spiritual dimension but always with the potential to develop it in time if there is inclination.

But @MaxiPadd is also right, there are many devout in one religion or another, who do not live by their teachings, just as there are non spiritual people who lead more virtuous lives.

@mangochops you've said it beautifully and I absolutely agree that our creative activities are expressions of a divine inspiration, whether we realise it or not.

@OMG12 thank you for explaining, I will send you a DM a bit later so you can tell me more :)

@FallingStar21 Fair enough. I'm just saying having a mindset that you are on a higher plain to others might put a barrier between you and other people. Which might in turn shut down communication. People are infinitely complex.