How do you cope with lack of spirituality around you

[FallingStar21]

I am a spiritual person, not religious per se, but my beliefs are quite close to the Buddhist teachings. I also respect and believe there's truth and wisdom in every religion.
My "issue" is that I struggle with the lack of spirituality around me. I mean mostly at work or random every day places where you need to talk to people etc
I never start a conversation of that sort (in fact I shy away from disclosing anything about my personal faith). But as people love to discuss all kinds of things and share their opinions, I have realised that the majority are very much in the material so their interests and priorities are very different. They can often be very sceptical, if not dismissive, of anything that's not part of it and that's another reason I don't say much on such topics.
Of course everyone has a right to believe or not believe whatever they like, but ithe lack of spiritual awareness and mindfulness is really bringing me down. Anyone else feels that way?

Why? Are you trying to insinuate a caterpillar is somehow less than a butterfly?

But thank you, I think you have illustrated the point about different languages very well by taking offence at the comment.

from a spiritual perspective neither is less or more. They just are, a caterpillar and a butterfly are equal just in different states of being. There’s many iteration of this concept in spirituality. Like I said, different language. It’s like saying German is better than French.

You tried, CurlewKate, but it is clear that sometimes spirituality gets in the way of normal social communication!

What a bizarre thing to say! What is “normal social communication”?

I understand what you mean. I e moved around a lot on my life and it’s been a struggle to find similarly minded people each time I move. In periods of my life I have become much more side tracked by the ‘material world’ . Where I am living I have absolutely no spiritual friends and consequently feel very lost generally. I’ve got tired of going groups and endlessly attempting to find like minded people . There just doesn’t seem to be a lot available where I am at the moment.

All you can do is look out for things going on around you. Retreats, spiritual centres, Buddhist groups, yoga groups. Go and stay at a retreat for a week . Perhaps you just aren’t living in the right place either.

I get how you feel, it just feels so depressing and lacking in nourishment when all conversations are about mundane matters.

This is why I'm an atheist. There is always a sodding argument about who believes what. It's so bloody tedious. Grow up.

There’s nothing like an erudite debate and, that, was nothing like one!

why have you joined a discussion about spirituality to tell people to grow up and stop arguing? Have you read your own post back in the context of what it says?

I think location has a lot to do with it, some areas are definitely more spiritual than others.

I was chatting to someone the other day regarding the area we live in and saying it was rather spiritually dead. However, even there there’s spiritual people you can seek out, it’s just often a lot more hidden.

I did read the thread. It can be summed up as people have different viewpoints. Yet here we are, ironically quibbling over it.

oh well!!!

Arguements aren’t necessary. We aren’t talking about fundamentalist mainstream belief ( I think). More of an outlook on life. I don’t talk about spirituality in general unless I know the person I am speaking to is interested.

It sounds to me as if you should be focusing on deepening your own spiritual practice, rather than expecting it to be boosted by others. The Buddhists I know are all pretty focused people, some of whom work in challenging environments where they won’t be encountering much ‘spiritual’ conversation — one works with young offenders, for example. If you want that, you’re going to have to seek it out.

@OMG12 "Why? Are you trying to insinuate a caterpillar is somehow less than a butterfly? "

It is undeniably less developed. By definition. But anyway, all you have to do is change caterpillar to hummingbird. "You can't talk butterfly language to hummingbird people." Still wrong-of course you can. But not actually offensive.

Well i caterpillar can change into a butterfly which has various spiritual relevances.

But less developed!? A caterpillar might be less able to fly but a butterfly is less able to crawl and eat solid food - you could say both are equally well developed for their state of being.

@OMG12 Out of interest- what do you think of changing caterpillar to hummingbird?

Why? Maybe the problem lies in what your perception of a caterpillar and a butterfly are. No one is saying one is better than the other apart from you.

That's not true at all. Butterflies and caterpillars are commonly used in the English language as an analogy for somebody finally coming into their full, superior self. You cannot ignore the context in which our language exists and is typically used.

Re butterfly and caterpillar; it is disingenuous to imply they're 'the same', as implied in the relationship is the notion of evolution of state. That is the premise on which this analogy is most commonly used in spiritual teaching.

OP, really, there are no 'other people' for you to feel separate from.

To start with, try switching up to experiencing 'others' and the reflections they offer of your own awareness, as teachers in the moment, and connect with a sense of gratitude for the service. Or not! It really doesn't matter.

If you can't initially find ways of connecting to the inherent spirituality of other people in your day to day experience, place yourself contexts where it is made easier: depending on what you feel you need and what you are able to logistically make happen, I would thoroughly recommend integrating your sense of spirituality in a social context by going on retreat. Or a few weekend residential workshops. A mixture of experiences which really enable you to compassionately explore the nature of mind and awareness, such as Vipassana or Zazen, as well as trying some practices which ground spirituality in the body; yoga, ecstatic dance or other movement or breath based work. There are also lots of opportunities, depending on where you are in the country, to experience spirituality through nature, which could be said to be the greatest teacher.

Developing some kind of practice of your own, whether it be morning yoga, a daily constitutional walk, tai chi, silent sitting meditation, chanting or 'mindful' washing up -it doesn't really matter how long or short, or even what it is- and paying close attention to the fluctuating thoughts, sensations and feelings which arise (all of them: virtuousness, smuggery, ache, resistance, relief, feeling distracted, impatience, itching, boredom, comparison, needing a wee, insecurity, gratitude, feeling hungry -whatever, none are better or worse) as you approach and engage in the daily practice, is a great device for anchoring your experience in your daily life.

If you have broadly Buddhist leanings, there are some great teachers of advaita offering group sittings (satsang) either online or in person, where the invitation is to explore the nature of mind, presence, awareness and the human experience in what is often a very warm, inclusive and humorous way through Q&A, silence and discourse.

Put yourself in the way of experience in order to cobble together a little network of people you feel connected with and stay curious and honest about how life appears in your consciousness, whether alone or in a shared social context.

I'm just wanted to say thank you for posting this link. I'm on a free trial of audible, so I will enjoy listening to this.

My spiritual, not religious, life is important to me, and it is indeed hard to strike a balance.

I'm not much into small talk and chitchat no substance conversations.

I find people, for example, who just want to talk about the weather or babies' new teeth coming through and the competition of whose got more utterly mind numbing.

Thank you 🩷

Well I have no issue in you changing caterpillar to hummingbird if you think that’s a better analogy

Hence my comment about speaking a different language

Ha ha, I started my post a couple of hours ago and was waylaid by the morning, but see that the caterpillar-butterfly convo took off, so my point is redundant.

Hence my comment about speaking a different language

So by "speaking a different language" you mean you are incapable of understanding common sayings and analogies that are standard in society and therefore cannot accept that this is how those words will be received? Alright then.

I've found that the older I've got, the more personal and private my beliefs have become. I used to want and need the external connection with others, and in that way I can relate to your post. But it's simply not necessary anymore.

No you really don’t get it do you? The original comment was said. I believe from one as spiritual person to another. It should be taken in that context. The issue arose when people who don’t think that way jumped in and put their own meaning on it. To most spiritual people it would mean a change from one state to another with no judgement of being a caterpillar if that was what was the right state for the caterpillar at that present moment it just keeps reinforcing my language statement

I'm agnostic, verging on atheist. I don't really want to be talking about religion, any more than I do about politics. There's a reason why it's said to avoid those topics in general conversation- because it can be divisive and very personal.
That said, I have good friends who are church goers and do enjoy hearing about their church in a non religious way - often their frustration about the way it's managed which is quite entertaining from the outside. They never force the God bit on me though thankfully

I'm an atheist-or as near an atheist as a thinking person can be. But I love talking about religion and philosophy.I believe in the beauty of humanity and nature. I believe in transcendence. I believe that humans are fundamentally good. I am uplifted by art and poetry and music and the solution/explanation finding joy of science. To quote a tedious cliche that I wish I could rewrite "The garden is beautiful. It does not need fairies at the bottom of it."