@Parker231, well I would say, with all due respect, you cannot really comment on what it means to actually believe in God - since it is not your experience. If it is any comfort to your friends John Wesley in this speech says this:
"11. I dare not, therefore, presume to impose my mode of worship on any other. I believe it is truly primitive and apostolic. But my belief is no rule for another. I ask not, therefore, of him with whom I would unite in love, Are you of my church, of my congregation? Do you receive the same form of church government, and allow the same church officers, with me? Do you join in the same form of prayer by which I worship God?
I inquire not, Do you receive the Lord's supper in the same posture and manner that I do? Nor do I inquire whether, in the administration of baptism, you agree with me in admitting sureties for the baptized, in the manner of administering it, or the age of those to whom it should be administered. I do not even ask of you (as clear as I am in my own mind) whether you allow baptism and the Lord's supper at all. Let all these things stand by. We will talk of them, if need be, at a more convenient season. My only question at present is this, "Is your heart right, as my heart is with your heart?
- But what is properly implied in the question? I do not mean, What did Jehu imply by it? But, What should a follower of Christ understand by the question when he proposes it to any of his brothers?
The first thing implied is this: Is your heart right with God? Do you believe his being and his perfections, his eternity, immensity, wisdom, power, his justice, mercy, and truth? Do you believe that he now "upholds all things by the word of his power," and that he governs even the most minute, even the most noxious, to his own glory and the good of them that love him? Have you a divine evidence, a supernatural conviction, of the things of God? Do you "walk by faith not by sight," looking not at temporal things but things eternal?
- Do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, "God over all, blessed for ever?" Is he revealed in your soul? Do you know Jesus Christ and him crucified? Does he dwell in you and you in him? Is he formed in your heart by faith? Having absolutely renounced all your own works, your own righteousness, have you "submitted yourself unto the righteousness of God, which is by faith in Christ Jesus? Are you "found in him, not having your own righteousness, but the righteousness which is by faith?" And are you, through him, "fighting the good fight of faith, and laying hold of eternal life?"...(and it goes on in this vein).