Any Witches Here? Part 15

[speakout]

Or Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.

A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration.

@queenrollo mumsnet has taught me loads, I love that no is a complete sentence cliche. I, like you used to be, am a chronic over explainer. It’s lovely to read that that’s shifted for you with time and practice. Even though I know I’m capable of evolving, sometimes I forget and it feels impossible.

@dementedma welcome! That sounds like a gorgeous melting pot of interests. We have all sorts of wise and wonderful women on here who know so much about these topics. They’re a constant source of awe for me! Lovely of you to think of a housewarming gift for your daughter - what is she into? Cooking equipment is always handy, lovely beeswax candles burn beautifully or what about some crystals or a piece of jewellery with protective stones? Or artwork of a place that’s special to her. (I like framing artist cards, a very cheap and cheerful way to brighten up a space).

@Aerwyna we’re down in the south west and the storm made its presence known last night. We even had hail at one point! How is it where you are?

@HillsBesideTheSea you’ve had some lovely advice for your itchy skin, I hope it helps. I wonder if aloe might soothe post bath?

@Elasticatedwaist I’m glad her words resonated with so many of us and I’m cheered to hear I’m not alone. It’s great to read of your boundary setting. I think that’s the key isn’t it? Decide what you can and can’t do and then fearlessly assert yourself! It’s an ongoing lesson for me. I did just say I couldn’t make a hen do next year though. They really are my idea of the worst time (strangers, alcohol, forced cheer, packed schedule).

Thanks for all your support. I have ended up with an unpleasant flare up of anxiety which has really highlighted the need for change. Today, after the visitors have gone, I am going to cleanse the house and open all the windows to let the storm energy in and start anew. I sat DH down the other night and we had a long chat about it all, we’re on the same page and committed to minimising our calendar commitments next year.

@speakout cross post! I always treasure your words, they’re very soothing to read. I totally agree on the temptation of fixing or diagnosing yourself. I see the latter a lot in my cohort of millennials, it almost becomes the entire focus of their personality. Thanks for the YouTube link, I will watch some later when everything has calmed down. I really hope your pain settles and you can take your time with the housework. Decorating your tree with your daughter is a wonderful tradition. I’m in my 30s and still go over to my parents to do their tree with them!

@moregarlic really I think what happens is that as you say no to things, you create space in your life. This enables you to 'rest' and you start to become emotionally stronger. When I realised how much less anxious I was I became much more aware of the balance I was creating in my life and I just gradually found it easier to say no. Then on the few occasions I needed to back up my refusal with an explanation I found I could give a short answer, not the long rambling over-explain I would have done previously.

I totally sympathise with the Hen Do! Because I am very sociable and love a party, people assume I love ALL parties, but I really don't. The typical Hen Party of drunkeness and screeching, plastic willy straws and leching over male strippers is my idea of absolute hell.

I was questioned (I would say verging on bullying) a while ago when i declined to take part in an activity through my son's school. It was 'just a bit of fun' - and I simply said 'you know, at the age of 46 I think I know what I do and don't like. I don't like this, I don't want to do it. So I'm not. And that doesn't make me a misery guts or a fun sponge'
I teach my boys that they can refuse to do something if it really doesn't interest them or they actively dislike it and I have been up front with the head of the school that I will challenge them, when I feel that something is really not necessary.
The rule is though, that my boys do have to at leatst try something properly - it is not just an excuse for them to scive off!

A bitterly cold day here, planning an easy day of light housework, online christmas shopping and a yoga class, but had my credit card declined when I tried to order something. A call to the credit card comany, turns out someone had tried to use my card fraudulently from abroad, but had been spotted and my card blocked.
The fraud department were great, lifted the block on my card, blocked the fraudster and refunded my money without quibble- only £30, all within 20 minutes.
Financial dealings are a real trigger for me, I grew up in poverty, in my early adult life I was really bad at handling money, didn't help that I often chose partners with a similar attitude. Having bills come in that I couldn't pay, loans that were out of control- all so stressful. I have real compassion for those that struggle with debt.
As part of my journey some time ago I decided to take control, to change my attitude, to open my heart to abundance and my relationship with money nowadays is very different.
But I still become very triggered when dealing with credit cards and banks. I pay off my credit card fully every month, but seeing those words on screen "card declined" set my adrenalin pumping and my heart racing -took me back to those fearful times when I struggled with finances.
Still feeling anxious and time getting short for yoga class I considered cancelling, but decided it was probably exactly what I needed- so I did go.
And ended up having a lovely conversation with a new class member who opened her heart out to me a little about her struggles. She almost didn't come to class today because her emotions are fragile right now. So we talked about keeping our own cups full, and the importance of self care without guilt.
So all resolved.!
No coincidence that the main focus of the class was warrior work- usually a gentle class, but the hall was very cold, so the instructor decided we needed some hard energetic work to create some fire!

All magic!!

I was feeling your emotion there about money Speakout
I grew up in poverty too, and then as an adult ran my own business which was successful but saw me counting every penny and budgeting carefully.
When I met my DH I shocked him by bursting into tears in the supermarket on an early shopping trip with him - he was just filling the trolley with abandon. I genuinely felt overwhelmed by a shopping trip where I didn't have to add up every item and stick to a list.
He did (and still does) earn good money, but we are careful with it now and save carefully.
In the summer I had the card declined because a new job meant his wages were delayed going in. I really panicked, stood there at the till. Fortunately I had enough in my back up account to cover the shopping but it was a real jolt back to my past.

@queenrollo as you say no to things, you create space in your life. This enables you to 'rest' and you start to become emotionally stronger. I love this! It really speaks to me, I know this is something I need to do an awful lot more of. Right now just the thought of saying no makes me uncomfortable! But nevertheless I’ve turned down two invitations to see people this month and while it was difficult in the moment, now I am very pleased I haven’t overstretched myself. Your approach to parenting your boys in this area sounds like a good one, you’re letting them know you trust them and that they have agency over their life. What a valuable lesson to grow up with.

@speakout I’m sorry to hear you had to deal with poverty growing up, but it was so interesting to read of the issues roots and how you’ve since dealt with them. queenrollo I’m sorry you went through it too. I was reading some statistics about childhood poverty in this country the other day and it’s depressingly common. A clear example of how we, as a rich nation, are failing our young. Your meeting at yoga sounds very serendipitous! Thank you for sharing that YouTube channel, I watched a few of her videos yesterday and they really resonated with me. I particularly enjoyed hearing about her approach to cyclical living with both the seasons and her cycle. Since TTC a few years ago, and consequently realising how naive I’d been to my own biology, I’ve become a lot more aware of how my energy levels ebb and flow. In our masculine go go go culture it doesn’t feel acceptable, but I’m learning to accept it nonetheless.

Our last visitors went and I did a sage cleanse of the house. Afterwards, I flung open all the windows and immediately it started to heavily rain and then hail. The energy felt amazing! Then the skies cleared and out came the sun; I felt very in sync with the natural world.

Ps. Does anyone have an almanac recommendation for 2022?

Good morning sisters, just dropping in to say hello. I've had a difficult week, DS is unwell and trying to access medical help seems almost impossible at the moment. I'm in despair with the state of the country and can feel a white hot rage burning simmering inside me, I'm so furious at the mockery those who are meant to lead us are making of us all. I probably need to step away from the news for a bit and spend some time grounding myself.

Sending love to you all and solidarity with all of you who are struggling with various challenges right now.

Good to hear about the Power of No being so liberating moregarlic

Sorry to hear that Violet it's as though everyone's being left to their own devices healthwise now for many things.
If he has something Minor Injuries can treat, I'd recommend them, had to take DD to ours and they were fantastic. Pharmacists are a very under-used resource too. I hope you can get the right help for him soon.

I'd recommend everyone takes a large break from any news, it's all doom and fearmongering gloom, you feel worse after reading it every day. You can't have an immediate effect on any of it. so better to channel your energies where they can be effective

@VioletCharlotte oh lovely lady, I empathise entirely, I was right there with you yesterday. It’s maddening and profoundly hurtful. I was frothing with rage yesterday, but today I have calmed down with meditation and listening to Tara Brach (the self compassion woman). She advises RAIN: recognise, allow, investigate, nurture. It might not appeal right now, but just putting it out there. I’m sorry you’re struggling to access care, it’s a worrying trend. Could you try 111 or A&E if you’re really worried? I’ll be thinking of you.

Thanks all. He has been suffering with what we think is recurrent tonsillitis for a couple of months. All the GPs will do is talk to him in the phone and prescribe antibiotics, but it goes away and then comes back again a week later. He's incredibly run down and mentally not in a good place. We don't have a minor injuries unit where I live unfortunately.
I've booked him a private appointment this afternoon , which really doesn't sit comfortably with me, but this has gone on long enough.

VioletCharlotte

I have been thinking of you and your DS this afternoon, sending energy for resolution and healing,
I have have experience of tonsilitis personally, and with both my children.
How old is your DS?
I know how debilitating tonsilitis can be, DS never reached more than 80% attendance at primary school for years because of tonsilitis. Treatment and advice was patchy- eventually having a tonsilectomy at 14.

I will light a candle for for you this evening- for both of you. X

Thank you so much for all your kind words and understanding. As a Mother, it's always so hard to see your child unwell, unhappy or in pain isn't it? (Even when your child is 5'11 with a beard!)

Speakout i'm sorry that you and your children suffered with tonsillitis too. It's a horrible illness, so debilitating. He never suffered with it as a child but suddenly became really ill with it at the end of September and is on the 5th bout, so the infections just not going away. The GP we saw this afternoon was wonderful, listened really carefully to everything, examined him thoroughly and has prescribed a long course of a different antibiotic. She also took a swab and some blood samples to check if there's anything else going on. Mentally this has given DS a boost as he was getting so frustrated, he now feels like he's being listened to and is feeling hopeful of recovering.

Moregarlic thank you for your meditation suggestion. I've promised myself this weekend il make some time for self care so this sounds like just the thing I need.

Blanktimes wise words about avoiding news. You're right, it's not helpful in any way to keep focusing on the negativity. Thank you.

VioletCharlotte

So good to read your post. I hope things will progess with positive energy.
I can totally relate we have an unwell adult child sometimes it is even harder!!

I'm so glad there's been good progress Violet I'm another like Speakout who can relate to having an adult child.

Your description Mentally this has given DS a boost as he was getting so frustrated, he now feels like he's being listened to and is feeling hopeful of recovering made me think of good old Louise Hay who seems to be out of fashion these days, she would say that throat problems can stem from not feeling validated, from not having your voice heard, so if there's anything like that going on in his life too, it may be worthwhile working on.

Here's a little something to cheer everyone up, I've found it impossible not to smile whilst watching it, hope it has the same effect for everyone.
www.jacquielawson.com/sendcard/preview?cont=1&hdn=0&fldCard=3526995&path=393919&pmode=init

Good morning sisters and welcome @dementedma.

It’s been busy at school and every non-teaching and non-mum moment has been spent resting. Covid is ripping through staff and children, as one returns more go off.

You may remember I got some crystals for my desk? At first a couple of boys spoke to me about their own crystal collection. Then some of the girls started getting interested. The black tourmaline and rose quartz “disappeared” (I have a pretty good idea who took them and she could do with some self love) which led to more talk about crystals. We now have a year group of children talking about crystals and some even have pocket crystals. They all talk about the properties of them and give them as gifts to each other.

Trenzalor

How lovely- and also a perfect spring board for lessons in inorganic chemistry.
As a graduate chemist I always lamented the fact that science was not a larger part of the primary curriculum, what is a crystal for instance? Can start with easy topics like salt, sugar, ice, discussions about atoms and how atoms interact with each other. Young children absorb this information so easily- and yet we usually don’t teach until the teenage years at school. We live in a society that values technology, yet those that set primary curriculum don’t seem to realise how even very young children can understand basic scientific concepts like the electromagnetic spectrum, states of matter, atomic interactions.
Many children may not have the opportunity to see different types of rocks or crystals- even the age and how these materials were formed is quite mind blowing- you are doing an amazing job!!

Good afternoon sisters

I haven't been well lately but am just popping my head in to say hello again!

Not long until Yule now

Hello sisters! Just popping past to send love where needed, welcome @dementedma and to say thank you for the cards that are popping in and brightening my days! Mine are supposed to arrive this week so return ones will be on their way 💙

Everything is still a bit mad but I am lucky to have an amazing support network - so although I know I've dropped the ball on certain things lately, my lovely business partner/bestie was brave enough to tackle this with me and is now helping me work out my priorities each day, plus checking the realistic-ness of my to do list. When she's the one that's impacted by my inability to follow through with plans and ideas, she could easily be furious rather than helpful, so I'm feeling very blessed to have her around.

It's not very magical, but do any of you have any experience of Access to Work for ADHD? I'm reluctantly starting to accept that while I'm excellent at many things, admin and emails are not among those things and perhaps if help is available it would be ok to look into it!

Will light my night owl candle at midnight in thanks for this wonderful corner of the internet, magical wishes for today loves x

I have experience of managing ADHD in the work place, I have a youtube channel that I follow that I find really useful, and I have found that systems rather than goals are useful. My experience is there is not much formal assistance other than meds for those who suffer worst from their adhd. Happy to answer questions/point you in the directions of the resources I use if you wish to pm them

Hello sisters, just dropping in to offer positive energy to anyone who needs some. It's been a tough week and I think everyone is feeling the strain. I hope you're all doing ok and looking after yourselves. I'm doing my best to avoid the news but it's difficult!

Cerridwen83 sorry you've been unwell, I hope you're feeling better now? It's good to see you.

Hilariousnamehere interestingly, I've been looking into this for DS1. He's not been diagnosed with ADHD but he displays many of the symptoms and is really struggling with work. He's got so many positive characteristics, but finds organisation, time keeping, etc very difficult.

@VioletCharlotte hi 👋 Thank you, am starting to feel a bit better now. Its my depression that tends to rear its ugly head from time to time! I posted (above) as well about my relationship with my mum, which hasn't helped lately becoming quite awkward.
@speakout and some others gave me some excellent advice and support which I've kept in mind going forward.
I've also carved out some "me time" as well in the next few days and am slowly feeling brighter I think.

I have 2 weeks off over Christmas (for the first time ever!! Always had to work over the holiday before) and am looking forward to some relaxation and self care.

Today I took a walk by myself in the woods and it did me a lot of good. I stopped off and treated myself to a gingerbread latte with cream and cinnamon and it was gorgeous!

Lots of love sisters.

I was introduced to a youtuber that does live broadcasts in severe weather situations in the states, to try to help people be weather aware and as safe as possible. I have been catching up with the 11hr live he did during the massive storms the other day that devisated the states.
I was cursious as to why he was being raved about.
What i was greated with was an incredibly knowledgeable individual who could convey high level information in a clear manner without condensation, who worked his ass off trying to inform people of the weather and warnings, break pertinant news when it was essential (watching how he watched the devestation as it unfolded), the calming influence behind the assertion of the degree of action, and the very down to earth realistic understanding on the pressures on people due to work. I was highly impressed.

I am grateful that we don't have those weather systems, and hope to catch some of his live broadcast during the storm incident with potential tornados tonight. I have learnt so much in that one video.

ADHD wise this is the video that helped me find it. I like the way she is very realistic and down to earth. The video "Why ADHD meds are not ADHD friendly" really highlights some of the problems, and she has a wide range of topics and areas covered. I haven't watched the working from home video yet, but the adhd home, and the one about food gave me some good ideas.

I especially like the concept "now vs not now" because it really is true. You can't get started, but once you have started you can't stop...

I hope everyone is managing during these busy times. A roler coater ride for me, but I hope things will settle as we approach the full moon. I always find the dark moon a healing time too, to deep dive face and sind challenges in order to bundle the unwanted ones into a trunk, set the sail on the waves of the full moon.
I always have so many ideas of projects I would love to do at this time of year, making ice candles, making wreaths, decorations magical acts, blending new incence mixes, making wooden yule logs.
But life and time seems to run away and I end up doing far more mundane things like defrosting freezers, clearing cupboards.
I do have time off work, but so much backlog of domestic stuff has mounted up that takes some time too.
Finding balance is important as aways, those corner cobwebs are not really harming anyone, and I can delegate the freezer clearing to someone else!!
Not sure what our plans are over christmas- just very close family on christmas day, but we usually host OHs family for a fancy lunch that week too would mean 4 households mixing, with two very vunlerable elderly people in the group, and it doesnt sit well- so no plans so far.
Off for an early yoga session, and to buy some candles this morning.
Have a magical day sisters.