Any Witches Here? Part 15

[speakout]

Or Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.

A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration.

BlankTimes Thank you. That was lovely- and great fun too!

Hello, all, just a quick fly-by!
I am suffering terribly with this cold weather, just cannot seem to keep warm, but reading some of the posts on here have given me an inner glow that I am most grateful for! And at last here we have a bit of sun. It may not be warm, but it really does lighten the spirit!
Have a good day all.

BlankTimes that card is wonderful! I got an account with that site this year so I could treat myself to the advent calendar. It's lovely to sit at my computer for a few minutes each day watching the little video in that day's window and playing with the other features.

I'm still struggling with overwhelm here and I delegated one major stressor, but the process of doing that also caused me stress - let's just say sometimes the Universe sends you a reminder why you walked away from certain relationships. Anyway, I vented my feelings over that at a friend and felt immediately lighter.
We are in the last stretch of school now, my son breaks up much earlier than others. We have the nativity next week, in a wonderful setting (which may be outing, so I won't elaborate) and parents can attend. I'm not filled with joy at this prospect but my son wants me to go, and herein lies some Motherwound for me. My own mother never showed her face or engaged with school events, and whatever her reasons (some justified, others I feel are not) as a child I was incredibly hurt by this. So while I am not at the PTA level of involvement I do endeavour to be part of my son's schooling.

AnotherCrazyBirdLady I have always found the cooler weather difficult, and as an adult found myself working outdoors for 10 years! Unfortunately now my hands and feet suffer terribly. I think this is why I have always found winter difficult mentally, and esepcially that modern life doesn't afford the hibernation I so desperately need at this time of year. I live in my kitchen through these months, it's where the Rayburn is!

Anyway, the weekend is almost here and we have plans for an afternoon and dinner with wonderful friends. The kids will all play together and us adults will have a much needed catch up. It's also the Christmas event tonight for one of my regular social outings so I am looking forward to that!

@BlankTimes your card has cheered me wonderfully, thank you! The cats reminded me of my two idiots too :)

Also flying by, am up to my eyes with chocolate, orders and trying to finish photography client work before Christmas so I can have a proper break. Off to a fair tomorrow (today?) and do feel like I'm spreading some magic with our chocolate made with love. But I need to figure out a way of snoozing on my broomstick, I think 😂

Hope your weekends are peaceful and enchanted and happy x

Just dropping in to my favourite corner of the internet.
Heavy snow today and is still lying.
My heating is pumped up and we have had a good Asian take away meal..
Ds is having a fair day, and DD is over to spend the night- just lovely. Her bedroom here is warm and cosy and she is having a log soak in the bath- only a shower in her flat- so a good treat. She spends so much time nurturing others, I have put her towels and pjams on the radiator ready to get cosy for bed.
queenrollo I feel for you dear sister. My parents were pretty absent too at school. My father became terminally ill when I was 13, and my mother was so distraught - my sister left home at 14 some years before, when I was 8, my mother was unable to cope. I grew up very fast caring for my sick father, a grieving incapable childlike mother, I had very unhappy teenage years- despite excelling academically- it was an escape actually- but I have very bad memories.
Like you I have taken great time to make amends with my own children. I applaud you dear sister. Fuelling up with tea, not sure if Oh will be home tonight. He has been working in Ireland a lot recently and ferries have been unpredictable.
Thank you all for the Christmas card invites- and the ones that have arrived!! I am so excited.! I will write and post soon, and send huge magical blessings to each of my wonderful amazing friends on this thread. I feel very blessed to know and communicate with such powerful and magical people.

X

Hello dear ones! How’re we all doing today? I feel totally and utterly spent. Like for many of you, this year has been a personally challenging one with health complaints, losing loved ones and at points what felt like endless drama. I feel the wintery pull to hibernate and yet…life.

One of my main issues is that I live in a part of the country that people tend to visit. Suffice to say, with the lack of foreign holidays, this year has seen a steady stream of friends and family staying nearby (or with us).

Have you managed to slow down? Spend life how you want to, rather than as a series of obligations? Please share your wise ways if so. Am currently considering a move to the outer Hebrides (I jest, sort of).

moregarlic
Sorry you have had a bad year and feeling run down.
I am a firm advocate in having a strong internal locus of control, so no my life is now an endless stream of obligations at all.
We don't always have to say yes and accommodate- I generally dislike house guests- I have very few visitors. Friends I will sometimes meet, but on neutral territory like a coffee shop. I am noy an open house for friends and relations to stay. I dislike parties and have no problem declining invites.
My home is sacred, I don’t want extra work by having to cater and make small talk. If people want to stay in a local hotel that’s fine, I may suggest meeting them for lunch on Tuesday and maybe tea on Friday afternoon. Other people don’t have the right to stay in your home, command your time, attention, be catered for- unless this is something you want too. Claim your right to live how you want to.
It sounds like you need time to rest, process grief, heal and just spend some time to nurture yourself in a warm cosy spot. Just do that if it feels right.
We don’t have to be the good girl, always saying yes, always being compliant and agreeable, wearing a painted smile, not rocking the boat, making sure others are happy, laughing at other’s bad jokes, staying up later than we want because we don’t want to offend, going places we really would rather not, accepting invites so we don’t offend, letting racist and misogynistic comments pass because we don’t want to rock the boat, allowing ourselves to be hugged and kissed by people we would rather not- the list is endless.
Claiming your right to agency, free will is the ultimate in self compassion and self care. Next time someone invites themselves to stay with you and you don’t want them to – say no. The world will not fall apart and you will be happier.

I found myself nodding in agreement as I read your post Speakout. Like you, I'm really careful not to over stretch myself in the run up to the festive period and only agree to social events that I really want to be part of. In the past, I used to find myself with multiple Christmas parties, work do's, etc, on top of all the school events and family get togethers, while still trying to work full time and do all the food prep and present buying. I found myself constantly tired and stressed and didn't really enjoy any of it.

I feel for you Moregarlic as I would find having house guests really difficult as my home is my sanctuary and I struggle with having people in my space. Luckily for me I don't live in an area that people want to visit! As Speakout says, you have to put your own mental health and well-being first. Not always easy I know; as women we're conditioned to put others first. But once you've established your boundaries, you'll feel so much more in control and empowered.

Thank you so much @speakout and @VioletCharlotte, I’ve got a lump in my throat after reading all that. I see so much of myself in it. I really am bone tired, and still saying yes. Im going to start being braver and bolder and reclaim my time. Already, people are making plans for next year…every year we say something has to change, but it never does. I think the difference is I feel truly done this time. Thank you so much for bolstering my spirits and validating my feelings. I felt like maybe I was being precious, ungrateful…alas, that’s just more shitty programming. I’ll join in with the 8pm candle tonight, I’ve been out and bought a shiny new beeswax one with just that in mind. Thank you once again, I really can’t tell you how much I needed to hear that.

Finding the strength to start saying 'No' to things/people is truly one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.
I used to always say yes, or on the rare occasion I said no I would follow up with detailed reasons why. I over committed myself constantly, which fueled my anxiety and physically exhausted me.
I started to just say no to things, and often not explaining why. It's a bit of a Mumsnet trope to say 'No is a complete sentence' but actually after a couple of wobbly years where I would create that boundary full of nerves I now have absolute confidence in simply refusing something that does not suit me.

Glad to have found this thread. May I join? A mid fifties woman embracing the old ways more and more and finally beginning be comfortable with myself and my beliefs. Love nature, herbs, wildlife, bees, hedgehogs, poetry, books,sea glass, beachcombing....and learning all about folklore, magick and The Goddess.

dementedma

A warm welcome, grab a cosy spot by the fire. Always tea in the pot.

Welcome dementedma, it’s good to have you join us.
A wild morning as storm barra makes his entrance- the energy feels powerful in every way. I hope everyone can stay as safe and warm as possible. Sending love to my sisters

Good Morning Sisters!

I'm so pleased you liked the card and yes, their advent calendar is a real treat.

Welcome dementedma it's good to see you by our fire.

Staying safe and warm seems to be a great idea

It's so cold here today, but reading this thread feels like being wrapped in a warm cosy blanket. Hope you are all well x

Good morning, all, and welcome @dementedma!
Sorry I have been MIA, I have been popping by to read, but have not felt much like talking so have just been sipping tea by the warming aga.

Storm Barra is inching his way here, I have popped out for a couple of bits before he lands. In anticipation, I have opened windows and lit some Dragon's blood incense to power up my space and energy.
I'm wondering if I am feeling the after-effects of the recent solar eclipse - yesterday I was so very angry, raging internally at the events of the last year or so. I worked some releasing blessings into my yoga practice last night, and slept well. I clearly still have some way to go, but thankfully some days are better than others!

I wonder if I can pick your brains. dear sisters? I have had an itchy patch on the right side of my chest for a few months now, have tried the standard e45, Aveeno etc, have even been to the pharmacist and tried a very mild hydrocortisone cream, but the itching is still driving me batty. Are there any herbs you would recommend? I've got the standard herb collection - Lavender, rosemary, sage, mint etc, and would really prefer to treat it naturally rather than chemically.

Hope everyone keeps safe and warm as the storm passes over xxx

Calendula and camomille are good. But also oat bath like what you would do for a child with chicken pox. very soothing. I use camomille tea bags in the bath (6 to a deep bath aldi basics work well). But I suspect the oat bath might be an easier place to start if you have no problems with grains or gluten.

Also are you of menopause age or do you have fibro? Cos both have the fun side effects of itching

Hope you can shift it sooner rather than later.

Oh, @HillsBesideTheSea, thank you! I do have a large supply of Aldi camomile tea bags! And can pick up some oats when I'm next out.
I did read that menopause can give wonderful gifts such as this , but suspect at 43, I'm more peri if anything. Will keep an eye on this, thanks

Thank you for the warm welcome, sisters

Dd2 is moving into her first home soon, with her partner. Im thinking a Rowan is the best gift, for protection. What else should I give to bless and protect?

What is her herb collection like? Not that i am an evil enabler who has been the cause of many people buying plants of late or anything.

BirdLady I second Hills' suggestions.

I like a little Himalayan salt in the bath for itchy skin too.

Do get some plain porridge oats. Muslin is great, but old tights can work just as well.

After a bath, Pop a handful of oats into the fabric of choice, run under hot water until it's very squidgy and oozes thick white-ish liquid out of the cloth. Dab the liquid onto the dried itchy skin. Sometimes it takes two applications, but it'll the the fire out of eczema for several hours.
Do not rinse it off, let it dry on your skin.

You can rinse any off when you need to apply more, maybe after a lot of hours or even the next day.

dementedma Rosemary is good, as is English Lavender, especially the edible ones, sage, calendula marigold, chamomile, valerian, too many to list really. Maybe buy her a little herbal to give her a bit more interest.

Here's hoping Storm Barra is a bit kinder than Arwen to us all!

Good morning all and welcome dementma.
Storm is raging here this morning and I’m awake too early as usual.
@speakout your words completely reflect my views too. I feel completely invaded if I have to have house guests and it causes me a lot of anxiety even though they may be people I love and care about I just need my own hideaway.
We always spent Christmas Day with my mother for years. Mainly because I’d had it drilled into me how a Christmas Day ought to be. I actually hated it but didn’t want to offend. Then a few years ago I decided no more. I told her that I would visit on Christmas Eve and that I planned to stay in my own house in pyjamas all day for Christmas. She took it quite well but being a very sociable sort she has me pegged as a miserable recluse these days. It hasn’t helped that I have also done the same with big family weddings and the like. I go to the ceremony but avoid the boozy after party like the plague. It’s just not for me.
Someone once said ‘ what people think of me is none of my business’ I like to remind myself of that and really, if you like yourself then that’s good enough. The right people will respect your ways and love you anyway.

Elasticatedwaist

Wise words, and it is heartening to read you are finding such a place of self compassion.
I considered myself a “weirdo” for decades, my ex partners would comment on my desire for so much alone time, for dislike of house guests parties, often trying to “fix me”. I tried too, and for a long time thought I must be selfish, disagreeable, or maybe even have some kind of diagnosis.
It is so liberating to realise that I am not “broken”, that can accept and enjoy the traits I have, that disliking having my house being “invaded” – even by people we love is OK.
In fact we don’t even just have to accept these traits in ourselves- we can rejoice in them.
We like to put labels on things in an effort to understand, and while that can help a little, there is a danger of boxing ourselves in- “I’m an introvert/highly sensitive person/shy/empathic/ASD”. Learning about these traits may be helpful but are almost never the true picture.
what people think of me is none of my business’ I love that phrase too.
People can think what they want. I smiled when I read your technique for weddings- exactly my strategy too! I avoid weddings generally, but if I feel obligate to go, then I will attend the ceremony only.
I go to lots of yoga classes, and know many people there, but turning up only 10 or 15 minutes before is enough for some chat- and that is enough interaction for me! We exercise in silence, I enjoy the group energy, but I am left feeling topped up, not drained.
I have been watching a few youtube videos of a woman called Tertia Reigler recently- she has a great wisdom on the subject of sensitive people/empaths etc, she is a therapist, but also works with spiritual aspects- cleansing/grounding/chakra work etc. She has given me a lot to think about in terms of challenging ideas- and her videos are short too, just wise snippets!
I have been overburdened again this week and started to develop back and neck pain, I have been working 10 hours a day for a week and aware I need to tackle the house as DD is coming over on Monday to put up the Christmas tree with me.
So now having some time off, my back feels a lot better, and looking forward to a yoga class and a little shopping today, followed by some light housework, clearing piles of stuff, putting things back into their rightful places. But It will be a gentle easy pace. I quite enjoy housework when I have time to do it, but usually nasty if I am racing against the clock.
If I have time then housework becomes a magical act- so that is my plan for the next few days. I will be playing things by ear for the next few weeks, but looking after myself is top of the agenda for the next few weeks- may even find time to play with ice candles again this year!!
Have a magical day sisters!!