LairyFrogMother
They’re incapable of empathy but that’s probably because they were never given it when they were most vulnerable and so grew up feeling like they can only relate to vulnerable people and that when they do they can’t give them empathy but instead materialistic form of love and support and a total lack of connection.
They are already suffering. They have already suffered. That’s why they’re like this.
We are the lucky ones for having a better start to life or for having a better ability to process a difficult childhood where we didn’t take the lack of empathy to become our identity.. we dissociated the way we were treated form our identity and accepted to be our own entity not enmeshed in our emotionaly absent parent.
Freedom from the victim role is the best thing we have done for ourselves..
And it’s the best empathetic lesson we can send in their direction so they can hopefully one day take themselves out of this self loathing identity they adopted from their own toxic childhood.
Narcissists are injured souls who are coping by dissociating from those closests to them because they grew up feeling intimidated by those closest to them.
They’re not giving themselves the Opportunity to grow out of that bubble.. and the best thing we can do is provide resistance so that they don’t have the opportunity to stay in their toxic comfort zone and instead force themselves to explore their internal issues and come to terms with their inner monster and overcome it..
They’re defianately suffering. Just in a way that they learn how to cope with and so they feel you can manage it too.. if they managed to internalise bad treatment from people they loved then if you love them you should too, that’s how they think. They’re deserving of love and if you reject them they will unleash their anger that they built up from years long frustrations on you, because they can scapegoat you since unlike a parent in their childhood they couldn’t unleash it on them but you on the other hand, they can.
Show them that they cannot. Walk away.. leave them with their own internal struggle until they seek therapy. For their own benefit and for the benefit of everyone around them.
If another victim decided to throw themselves under their control it is only gonna delay their process of healing further. And make them have more baggage of things to heal from.
Walk away. And be sure they’re the ones struggling for sure. You just need to not internalise it and seperate your identity from their behaviour.
“I do not deserve all that negativity”.
“I deserve love and kindness, and I will give it to myself”.
“ I do not see myself as the victim that the narc sees me, I see the survivor in me”.