I’ve been with DP for 2 years; I have 2 DC (not his) and he’s about to move in. I’m a Christian, he’s atheist. Marriage is really important to me and while we’re living together without being married I’m restricted on what I can do at church because sex outside marriage is a big no-no. For me, it’s also negatively affecting the way I feel about myself and also worries me in an eternal-perspective view. He knew the full details of my religious views when we started dating and I have brought up the marriage aspect periodically. At the beginning of the year I went through this with him again and he said we could get married. I waited a few months, no proposal, so brought it up again and he said he felt it was too early. I was a bit confused but waited. Still nothing 7 months later so I approached it with him again last night and he spent half an hour rubbishing my beliefs, pointing out how illogical and meaningless they are, and telling me that I shouldn’t care what other people think. I tried to explain to him that it was about how I felt about myself too but I was crying and I just didn’t get it across very well. He doesn’t want to get married until ‘it feels right’.
I’m so hurt. Not even particularly about him not wanting to get married, more about the way he completely dismissed my feelings and beliefs and tried to talk me out of having them. I don’t understand how he can love me if he’s ok with me feeling humiliated in my social circle when he doesn’t have any particular reason for not getting married, he just wants it on his own timing. I don’t like the way he told me - in not so many words - that my beliefs are stupid and illogical so nothing that I feel about them is valid or should be considered. It’s really left me questioning whether this is a good relationship. In all other ways he is kind, hardworking and fun to be with. But he was so dismissive and rude last night that I’m shocked and deeply hurt.
Has anyone else had a partner who disagrees with their beliefs? How did you square it? Or not?