Christian chat thread continued

[Dutchoma]

A place to share and chat about our funny (and not so funny experiences) in and out of church.
Did anyone say coffee? That would be good

I like Rob Bell, Dragon - but his writing is definitely a marmite thing, I've found. I've not read that book though, but would like to.

Hello DoubleG! Great to see you! Exciting times. Hope that all goes well with the induction and birth. I think you can just ask one of the nurses and they will contact a chaplain for you.

I love Paula Gooder,, lasttime - she speaks so much sense and is so clear. Really do hope you find a welcoming church. Whereabouts are you, maybe someone here can recommend something? Some churches are pretty good at being inclusive and some not, I'd love to see all being welcoming and prioritising provision for children like your ds.

I'm a little stressed by my book deadline. It's testing me well on the subject I'm writing on (contentment) so perhaps that's a good thing. I just feel there's not enough time, and also rather fed up of my own writing! editing is so far from the romantic idea of the writer's life

Thank you for all the good wishes with my search for a new church.
I'm impressed at the folk writing books. Even if you are having a hard time of it.
I'd love it if you pm me your church if you'd recommend it. It would let me have a look at websites and work out how to decode the blurb. But I understand that might feel outing.
I'm still really enjoying Paula Gooder still.

I feel so lost with a couple of issues at the moment. Firstly with DH he's just returned to work after 4 weeks off with anxiety. He's still struggling with this especially as he is such a logical person and can't see the "sense" in how he is feeling. I'm supporting him as much as I can in a practical sense, also with encouragement, cuddles and listening but it doesn't seem to be enough and I don't know what else I can do.

I'm also struggling with DS. As I mentioned my finding my faith began when I was looking for ways to reconnect with him. It's been going well and I really felt our bond was strengthening and we enjoyed spending time together. The last few days however have been awful, his behaviour is very goady with him deliberately trying to upset and hurt people. Although I can think of a few reasons why he might be behaving this way it's upsetting me that I can't seem to reach him and it worries me that he is struggling with something but doesn't feel able to reach out to us or allow us to comfort him.

Looking back over what you wrote earlier C&F, it was your son who wanted to go to church initially, but is now not behaving as well as he could and also not connecting with you, which obviously is distressing for you.
On top of that you are struggling with a husband who is not feeling himself.
It’s not surprising that you feel stressed and are looking for solutions which of course are hard to find as you cannot change the way people behave, only the way you react to it.
I hope you can find a bit of time for yourself, to read a book or go for a walk or a coffee with a friend. It’s easy to forget to ‘look after yourself’ when so much is asked of you from so many quarters.

Cish he sounds like a bright, motivated little boy with quite a lot of insight. Neurodiverse people often think in very black and white terms; do you think he was perhaps hoping for more concrete answers from church? It may be that religion through the lens of school has somewhat over-promised. Or he might just be having a bad patch. If he likes writing maybe get him to write down worries and then burn them? I know a lot of people who find that helpful when direct verbal communication feels overwhelming.

Thank you both. wiggy he does see things very black and white. I don't think church is the problem he seems to actively want to go church and seems to look forward to it and the various activities we do through the church. I never force him to go as usually the more I push something the more he rebels.

I will try the writing down and hopefully that may help in some way.

Did you manage to get to church today with your son, cish?

Thanks mhd! Am getting very impatient as I just want baby out safely now. But on the other hand, we still have a ton of nesting to do - dh tried to convert the pram back into carrycot mode and realised half the bits are missing!
When is your book deadline?

I did thank you Double and it was much better than the week before. We have been talking about how we can reach more people and it's got me thinking about how accessible worship is for SEN children, I want to work on this but I don't seem to be getting much inspiration at the moment.

We have enough issues making our worship accessible for children full stop!

But yes, as a former sen child, I can think of a few things that churches in general could do better...

In many ways I think "just do what you're doing, without judgement" is a good motto for SEN inclusion generally. DD has suspected ASD (we are in a verrrrryyyyyy long waiting list for full assessment but she scored astronomically high on the screening) and nobody at church has remarked negatively on her flapping, chirruping and mewing through the service, and I don't even get the sense that they're tutting (mind you, they'd have to lower a huge sign labelled "TUT TUT" for me to notice as I don't pick up things like that!) I don't mean that they pretend it isn't happening - one of the other parents very kindly signposted me to a local SEN group - but that they aren't arsey about it, which I think some places could be.

wiggy yes our church is the same. They all know his name and make him feel included and no body has judged at all. I want him to be engaged in the service though and for others to feel welcome in the church just as we have.

Hi,

I hope this is ok to post. I was wondering if this is a good place to ask about Messy Church. I am considering going with my 18 month old. I'm longing for some Christian Community and wonder if this is the answer. I've quite nervous I'm only used to Catholic mass. Could anyone let me know what to expect?

Hi wwww I take my two DC'S (2 and 7) to messy church. It's once a month at our church. We usually start with a prayer and bible story, we then have a snack and then there will be a couple of games related to the story or some crafts and then end with a prayer. It's a lovely session and they both seem to really enjoy it.

Thank CishandFips I wonder if she is to young for it then? It alternates where I am between the CofE Church and a United Reform Church. Is it normally separate from the other Church services?

I take my 3yo, it's once a month for us too. It's kind of like a playgroup but Bible themed. There are usually four or five crafting activities and the children circulate between them, and it finishes not with a biscuit but with an actual meal which surprised me the first time I went!

Ours is aimed more at primary age children than early years (making a replica Garden of Gethsemane anyone?!) but DD enjoys it. She finds it a bit noisy but she has that issue with any group activity. And I really like the other parents who go, which helps.

We have a range of ages at ours, I wouldn't say she was too young at all. Like wiggy the snack is more of a meal which is great because if their tired afterwards we can just come home to bath and bed. Ours is completely separate from a service. We do have a family service once a month but that's as well of not instead.

Baby ds was born yesterday and we are just getting ready to leave hospital

Congratulations Double

Congregations!!!!

That was meant to be congratulations!!!

Blame autocarrott.

Great news Double, hope these special early days are going well and you are all settling in together.

Congratulations (from a lurker) Doublegloucester!

And @ 'congregations' - spot the priest!

I just wanted to share with you this picture from my daughters baptism today.

Beautiful

That’s lovely.