Christian chat thread continued

[Dutchoma]

A place to share and chat about our funny (and not so funny experiences) in and out of church.
Did anyone say coffee? That would be good

Sounds like a lovely service mhd, hope it went well.

Thanks for your kind words; it’s so strengthening having support here. I’ve been thinking about you a lot, and praying for the block to pass and the words to flow. I’m sure a break from aibu will be refreshing!

Madhair hope your service went well. Quite envious - it sounded really powerful as you say.

Still got some catching up to do on where you all are in your lives and what you're celebrating/struggling with but will keep following the thread.

Mid morning here and I'm praying for the families of everyone affected by the awful shooting in Florida; that they'll be held through their grief, and that this might end up being the catalyst for some rethinking of gun laws and a break in the cycle. Heart-breaking thinking of what those poor families are going through right now.

Sounds like a lovely service MHD our church didn't have an ash Wednesday service, it's a methodist church, I have no idea if that's normal. We where invited to a stay and play session in the church though which was lovely and I was able to have a cup of tea and a chat with the Deacon who is performing DD's baptism.

ORANGE it was awful to hear that news. My heart goes out to all affected and I will also be praying for them all.

Hello all, can I join in too? I'm at the traditional, organ, hymn book end of things, and coffee, always coffee.

Hi Can I join please? Could use some Christian companionship of all stripes as I try to navigate whether or not to leave my church.

In terms of your survey questions
Current Church is happy clappy but theologically very literal which makes me unhappy. But I'm a little freaked out by more formal worship.

Much prefer anything to an organ

Never ever have coffee at church. Never really drink tea anywhere else. Although our church tea has a distinct coffee undertaste.

Grahsm Kendrick- had never heard of him. But just saw him on YouTube. Felt myself go sll cringe as the video started (I have bad experiences trying to find Christian music on YouTube) but he may actually be not too bad!

madhairday I like the sound of your ash Wednesday service. I've never seen or heard of anything similar in my church.

What freaks you out about more formal worship, last? Interested because I get freaked out by happy clappy!

Hello everyone! I think I've just about recovered from leading and preaching at our Ash Wednesday service. It may be the first time anyone has used a children's picture book - Angry Arthur - to talk about sin (but they listened anyway!). It is such a heavy responsibility to ash people, and to say those words: 'Dust you are, and to dust you shall return. Turn away from sin and put your trust in Christ.' It's such an intimate thing to do to make the sign of the cross on someone's forehead, I found myself leaning close and whispering the words to each person, as if we two were the only people in the room. And there was a tremendous storm and we could all hear the rain beating on the church roof. It was tremendously powerful.

Yesterday had one of those swan moments where you're trying to look calm but inwardly frantic. A couple I'm marrying came with their whole family to hear their banns read, and the banns book hadn't been put out! I had to whisper to the priest leading the service while he was giving me communion, and then go and find a churchwarden to get the banns book out of the safe and make it all look as if nothing was happening at all and everything was going according to plan! The banns got read in the end ok but it could have all gone horribly wrong.

I really needed my after service cup of tea and biscuit!

Wiggy my parish church ages ago was happy clappy and it never was really my thing but I did love the people there and that meant I could bear it. But was so much happier when I got moved to a more formal church at the beginning of my ordination training! Having said that it took me quite a while to know what to do and not to feel awkward and self-conscious when everyone else was crossing themselves or kneeling. Once I'd got really into the the flow of it the formal patterning of the service helped me to worship -- and now when I go to a church where you have three or four worship songs and then a sermon and then prayers I find it really hard to worship.

I love the sound of your Ash Wednesday service Niminy - ours was beautiful too. There is a real sense of stillness and intimacy in evening services; it's why I always loved Evensong as a child chorister.

I have ASD and I find the formal pattern of worship calming, orienting and reassuring. In a happy clappy church I'm so distracted by wondering what's coming next that I can't focus on the worship!

My mind is usually going at two hundred miles an hour on various different topics and I need to be able to reach that place of stillness to connect with God. Church gives me that place so it's a bit of a refuge for me. Cish I wonder if it's similar or the same for your son?

Wiggy I was brought up an atheist. More formal Church services are very foreign to me. I don't know when to stand, when to sing. I guess that's just familiarity tho and probably not deal breaker stuff.

I can understand that - totally the opposite to me, I was brought up within a formal worship pattern and I was a chorister from 10. One of the things I love about it is the sense that these words in this order with these movements have been used to worship God for hundreds of years, if you're in an old church then generations of people will have stood where you are standing, said what you are saying, with their own troubles and gratitudes and things of life which will be different to yours but in so many ways the same. I find it very grounding.

DP on the other hand finds it weird and alien.

Tbh wiggy. I feel like my church's understanding of the past is very flat even tho they make lots of being very bible centric and going back to the early Church - I suspect it's a very new understanding of the early Church. All the theology comes from Calvin with a touch of Tim Keller to help make things palatable. They are so certain of everything. I get brushed aside, but I also don't have the language or the knowledge for a proper discussion. My sense is they'd frown on any ritual or props as inviting idolatory. I have a good friend from another Christian tradition who explained more of the ritual stuff to me and I liked that. I think it could be helpful. I find it very either/or at my church. Use an object in church and you're worshipping idols, or admit that when you read text (including the bible) you have to interpret it and you are a derridean relativist who thinks there's no external truth!
This is insane and I must find somewhere that makes me less upset and angry. I really hope you folks here will lend me some company while I try to branch out.

I love that you feel so connected to others beside you and before you by the practice of worship in church.

I have had to come out of a church that has become happy clappy since I have been there: it was straight through Baptist, with organ and hymns. I can’t do it any more, certainly not with the: “if you don’t accept Jesus as your Saviour, you will be lost for all eternity” theology. So either convert or be damned. I am still a member, but don’t know how long I can keep that up. I was asked to join a housegroup in September and did, but feel very much out of place and the person that asked me has not been to any of the meetings I was at. I feel dreadfully out of place. There are of course other churches, but I am reluctant to start all over again and so for the past year or so I have been going to different churches as the opportunity arose, without making firm commitments. It will have to do.

That might not be very helpful to you Lasttimearound, but it does sound that you are uncomfortable for about the same reasons as I am. If there is nothing to hold you in your present church, there is no reason why you shouldn’t try somewhere else, but no church is perfect and it is a case of trial and error.
Niminy I had hoped to be able to go to an Ash Wednesday service, but had my daughter and the grandchildren round. They came much later than I had expected them and so were still here at the time I could have gone. I could have gone in the morning, but didn’t realise they were going to come so late. They didn’t either. I went to a Shriving service the day before, but that was at a church a bus ride away.

Dutchoma yes it does sound similar. I will have to start looking for alternatives again. There's no where local but maybe some churches more in town. Two obstacles: I am not sure what I'm looking for. I need anywhere I eventually land to have ability to include my very disabled child.

You'd have thought inclusion of a disabled child would be the bare minimum churches would manage, but I know that's not always the case. Good luck with the search, if it is ok to keep you in prayers I will do.

Please do pray for me. I appreciate it and your (and others) helpful comments.

wiggy that's a very interesting point and your probably right. I also think it gives him some reassurance that it's ok to be him. Nobody is telling him to sit up, be quite, stop fidgeting.

Having said that Sunday was a bad day behaviour wise. He kept putting his feet up on the pews. I tried all the usual techniques , big bear hugs and taking him out for a quite moment but he was determined to carry on.

Only two people noticed thankfully. One of the members a gent in his 70's who just gave me a reassuring kids will be kids smile. Same gent then asked him to help him with the collection. The minister was also fantastic and reassuring afterwards.

Loving having this thread to come back to.

Hello to lasttime Keep us posted about your church-finding quest. I'm really sorry that people haven't always done their best to welcome your son. That is, as Wiggy says, should be the very minimum. I hope you find somewhere that can give you both what you need (and BTW putting feet up on pews doesn't sound at all bad to me behaviour-wise).

We tried out a new church at the weekend, a tiny, packed Catholic church with a predominantly Filipino congregation. There was really friendly vibe and a very simple, clear message, which was a welcome change from the high church cathedral services that we've been to. Also nice to be back in a church that felt like a community. But I'm not sure it's for us long-term - I know DH won't be happy longer-term in a catholic church, he can't take communion there for a start…

Graham Kendrick - I didn't grow up with that kind of church music (firmly hymn books and organs) but was introduced to him in my church back in the UK (they love him!). Not a big fan to be honest but this thread did prompt me to find him on youtube and I felt momentarily nostalgic for the openness of my home church.

I'm feel8ng much more positive having binge watched Paula Gooder on YouTube. Thanks so much for this recommendation. So clear and cogent. I had a moment of complete insight when she explains about discipleship as learning not following and notes that after Jesus calmed the storm and asked the disciples why are you afraid. The word in the original isn't fear but timidity. It made me feel so much better about me and my way of engaging and that it's OK with God for me to be how I am.
Durchoma I didn't realise you are dlso still looking. Maybe we csn encourage each other. I find it hard to try somewhere new and difficult to know how I feel. So I stop trying but I have a plan to try a different service every other week. And 2 churches on my list ghats might be good.

Ooh wow, lots has happened here since I was last here! Hello to all who've recently joined! And to everyone else. Will try and catch up on all the conversation.

Not long until my due date now and a lovely diagnosis of cholestasis so waiting to see if I'll be induced early. Got tons of PCC secretary admin to catch up on while I wait - fun times!

Does anyone know how one gets hold of a hospital chaplain to bless your baby? I hope there is one at our local hospital as it's quite small. We asked our vicar to do it last time but that probably won't be an option this time.

Hi all, lasttime if you were close to where I lived I would recommend our church in a heartbeat. Very inclusive and a could of years ago the building was updated it to make it fully accessible.
I moved there about 3 years ago (it's about 1/2 a mile from the old church) as I just didn't feel right and there was no other kids but DD2. It was certainly the right choice and now I'm involved in a lot, mostly because I want to 😀

Has anyone read, What is the bible? By Rob Bell? I've just started this and as much as I agree with a lot of what he's trying to say, the style of writing is doing my head in!!

I haven't read that one. I will avoid it - I find awkward writing styles hard to deal with!

I'm going to a Lent course in a couple of hours. I'm looking forward to it, I've not done one before.