Christian chat thread continued

[Dutchoma]

A place to share and chat about our funny (and not so funny experiences) in and out of church.
Did anyone say coffee? That would be good

Love to Edd and MHD. You've both had such a tough time of things recently, and I really hope that the future brings you more good stuff.

Niminy, we have a guest preacher at our church next week for fancy solemn choral evensong who I think is your DDO.

I'm sending love too to both of you. Things not exactly a picnic here either - having so much trouble with DS1 and have just listened to his very detailed account of what a terrible mother I am .

Ooh, Broomstick, if that's who I think it is - Anna Matthews? - she is a wonderful preacher. Lucky you!

A mother’s place is in the wrong, Niminy. You should know that.

Niminy ❤️ teens are such hard work. Much love and solidarity. My Ds also going through a difficult phase... :(

You're a wonderful mum.

Thank you both . Just been to the doctor with DS1 so she can make referral for anger problems - lots of throwing objects around going on here. He's understandably very cross with me for going to the doctor and exposing it all to the outside world.

I'm just feeling a bit self-pitying at the moment - everything seems like such an uphill struggle, and it's my birthday tomorrow, and, well, I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

That sounds really tough, Niminy. How old is he? DD is hitting puberty and I'm finding the moods/anger/unhappiness really hard to deal with and keep asking myself whether her behaviour is normal. I had hormone-related mental health problems which were particularly bad in my teens, which makes it particularly hard to be objective.

How old is your DS1? And have you planned anything nice for your birthday?

He's 14. He's always been an angry person but as he gets bigger the damage he can do is bigger. It's so difficult to tell whether any behaviour is normal because it all feels so extreme when you're in it. I remember a friend of my mother's saying 'teenagers live from one nervous thrill to another' and in some ways I think it's true. They live on an emotional rollercoaster and it's all new to them and it all feels so big and important and (often) a bit scary. And it can be both normal - that is, normal teenage stuff - and quite abnormal because for them nothing of this kind has ever happened before.

Birthday - nothing tomorrow but DH and I are going out on Saturday, though our celebrations can't be that riotous as I'm doing the 8am service the next day.

Niminy I hear you, DD1 is 18 now, but 13-16 was just so hard. 15 being peak awfulness. It does get better, I promise. I thought at the time I would never make it out the other side! She's actually nice to be around some days other days she's still stroppy, but at least you can talk to her about it now.
I remember taking her to dr, (not anger) and her hating me. She and I both wish I'd understood and taken her sooner.

Lots of quiet prayer time this evening! So much going on in my life I need the vision and wisdom from God to follow the right path

Happy birthday niminy

It's so hard isn't it. DS is also 14 and I think 14-15 is the hardest stage. DD now 17 and definitely coming out the other side much lovelier and easier! But DS lives in that emotional whirlpool. He's so sulky and rude sometimes and soooo antisocial, just wants to be on his screens all the time. We get some big anger displays too and I hate it, it just feels so huge being right in it at the time. Really hope things calm down for your Ds and he finds some good strategies for managing the anger. No one told us this would be so hard! I sometimes wonder where my bright and cheery little boy went. He's in there somewhere I think... Un MN hugs to you today. I hope you have a good birthday.

Praying for wisdom and guidance for you, Dragon

Keeping you in my prayers Dragon & everyone on this thread.

I'm looking at making some lifestyle changes, to change my life really. So reflecting quite a bit.

Hope you all have a good day/weekend.

Just realised that it is aaaaages since I was on MN. How is everyone? Broomstick how was Anna M? and Madhairday how are your lungs? Dragon how are things now? And MotherMarysStylist hello!

Things a bit quieter with DS1, which is wonderful - although I know it's a matter of time till the next crisis. But I am enjoying things being a little less difficult.

Had a disagreement with the vicar this morning about ashing. She thinks the ashes should be wiped off before you leave church, because Jesus said, 'when you pray, pray in secret'. I tend to think they are a witness and if you wipe them off it looks as if you are embarrassed. What do other people think (if it's your tradition to do ashing on Ash Wednesday at all)?

Anna M was great. I might have mentioned you to her over a glass of Cava.

I'm a bit torn about the ashes. I do wipe them off as I leave the church, because that does seem to be the message of the service, but it feels like a bit of a cop-out.

I've agreed with DP to have a romantic meal on Monday so that I can get ashed on Valentine's Day.

Hi all, thanks for the thoughts. Things are good. Last Friday I went to a Hillsong service, it was great and I'm my prayers I really felt like I needed to trust God. I need not to worry.

I'm facing redundancy in the next few months and today I had two telephone screening interviews. I've got through to the next round for both. They are similar but different, I'm just going to go through the process and trust that I'll know the right path when it's time.

Hope everyone is okay.

Tonight I'm praying for a close friend and her dad who's had not good medical news.

Edd we've not heard from you in a little while, I hope you are okay x

Hi Dragon, that's sweet of you. Yes, I'm ok. Actually this is a weird thing, I am more than ok, I am excited and apprehensive / terrified and very happy that I have started the discernment process... (there's another aptly slow thread on that )

But in my home life things are still rather difficult and STBXP is not happy so I am in the rather strange position of having to downplay my wellbeing with friends and family so as not to appear relaxed about that - which of course I'm genuinely not. Also DM is more and more bonkers which I'm trying to breeze over to keep going but is actually awful whenever I pause and think about it and DDad is looking older and more tired every time I see him.

So mixed with an underbelly of wow.

It is really good to hear you sounding so positive about the uncertainty on the jobs front.

How is everyone else?

I'm not sure about ashing. I've only done it twice and both times I had to wipe it off because of the DP thing. But other people seem to leave with it on, as witness as you say Niminy. I guess it's a personal thing; both positions seem reasonable to me.

Hi, can I join in? I think I just about count as a Christian... My faith is pretty rocky to be honest. Bringing my children up as Christians but feel a terrible fraud because I’m so full of doubt internally.

Anyhow, we’ve moved abroad and I have no church at the moment, and no Christian friends. I’d so like the support of a faith network, some prayer etc and have been looking online for sites that set people up with Christian pen pals but it mostly seems to be dating stuff. So, anyway, it occurred to me to try MN so here I am.

Yesterday I put together some Lenten activities for me, my husband and the kids. Just 40 little activities / reflections to pull out of an envelope each day. Anyone else doing anything similar? Would love some more inspiration...

Welcome orangeamber, it's lovely to have you with us! Do have a cup of fair trade after service tea or coffee and pull up a pew. Tell us about yourself - we have a short, very lighthearted questionnaire: traditional or happy clappy? worship band or organ? tea or coffee after the service? screens or hymn books? Can't remember the rest... but anyway, wherever you are in the rich tapestry of Christianity (and especially if you are full of doubt -- most of us are there some or even most of the time!) you are very welcome.

It's hard keeping going without a church community. If you're in Europe there are Anglican churches in some surprising places - I know someone who is Chaplain of the Costa Brava!

Your idea of forty ideas in an envelope is a great one. I normally do Christian Aid's Count Your Blessings, which has an adult and a children's version. The Church of England has a resource called #LiveLent which sends a daily reflection via email or text. I've signed up for the Biola Lent Project which sends a reflection with an image and a piece of music for each day. Another thing which is really good is 40 Acts which has forty ideas for generous living through Lent. There are loads of choices!

I'm doing Compassions family lent activities

Hi orangeamber! Will catch up with you soon! And I agree with nim we all doubt sometimes.

Hello may I join you? Although I have always identified as a Christian, I have only recently discovered my faith.

Like London buses, for ages we have no new people and now we have two in one day. You are very welcome.
Niminy omitted one Very Important Question: what do you think of Graham Kendrick.
I’m holding my breath for the answers to all her (totally lighthearted) questions.

Oh drat there are only digestive buiscuits left, and they seem fairly stale. I’m sure we hadsome other ones left. (Oma goes scurrying off in the bottom of the cupboard)

Very important to have nice biscuits Oma!

Welcome CishandFips! how exciting to have discovered your faith. It would be wonderful to hear a bit about how that happened.

Thank you for the welcome. So a little bit about my journey to faith so far. So although I had always identified as a Christian I never practiced my faith very much. My son was christened more because that was what you did and I sent him to a methodist school because it was the best in the area.
I found my faith really by trying to reconnect with my son. He is 7 and currently undergoing assessment for ADHD. Although I have never questioned my love for him I was feeling very disconnected from him.

In school he was always emerging in subjects but in religion he always exceeded expectations. He would seek to talk to us about Jesus at home. He often asked to go to church but I always found an excuse and was reluctant to take him to a service because of his ADHD.

Coming up to Christmas he wanted to go to the churches Christmas fair so along we went, then he wanted to go to the carol service so I took him there, then the crib service on christmas eve.

In the new year we attended our first regular service and felt so welcomed and so at ease that we now go every week.

Although it initially started as a way to reconnect with DS I found that the more I attended the more my faith developed and the more eager I am to develop it futher.

Sorry that was much longer than I had intended.

Tried the respond earlier was thwarted by my iPhone.

Thank you for the welcomes.

Cradle catholic then I married a man brought up in the evangelical tradition. Our church back home is an odd mixture: liberal low church but with evangelical elements (screen not books, singers at front), many different theological perspectives. A great community though, which became a big part of our social life.

Mostly coffee

Welcome, CishandFips and Orangeamber! It's wonderful to have you with us.

Edd, that sounds like such a mixed bag for you of highs and lows, such excitement and sadness too. How are you feeling with your watchwords - hope and trust, if I recall? Praying that you know a real sense of God walking with you in these times.

Our Ash wednesday service is looking to be powerful. Everyone is invited to write a letter to God about stuff like where we feel people have wronged us or we've wronged them, hurts we hold on to or sins we keep too close. In the service we'll be placing them on the altar, then burning them as a sign of letting them go. We've been talking a lot about conflict lately so we hope this will be a real sea-change in culture. We'll also have the ashing, so I'm excited. :)

I might be a bit quiet in coming weeks. I'm giving up reading 'other bits' of MN for lent because it's been dragging me away from reading more helpful stuff eg the Bible :D - I'll still be checking in this section. I also have a mountain of work to complete my manuscript before final submission, and I've hit a bit of 'writer's block' so feeling a bit meh about it. If anyone would like to beta-read a portion of it, I'm looking for some help there right now, so please do ask if you'd like to/have time to! Thank you.