Hello OP, and everyone.
Am vaguely thinking of returning to the church anyway, without faith, cos I like the singing and smells
This is just what I did a few years ago. I think some people would say that the Holy Spirit is moving you, I think that in a way, because I think the holy spirit is consciousness and intelligence and thought.
I believe in God, but I didn't used to. I think that's because my 'concept' of what God is has changed and evolved over the years. My concept of God now is that he/she/it is the life force that runs through everything, the electricity that atoms are full of, our consciousness, love, compassion, communication and shared understanding.
I also believe that Jesus existed and was trying to share some very radical ideas, based in love and compassion. I have no problem believing that he was the son of God, because I think we are all children of 'God', and I think that that's kind of what he was trying to say. So, I'd say I was a Christian.
I used to think that in order to believe in God, I had to actually hear a voice from heaven or something like that- I don't now. I also thought that if I believed in God and was a Christian, I'd have to subscribe to every aspect of a churches teaching, but I don't. I'm pro gay marriage, pro women priests/bishops/popes and do not think that using contraception or having an abortion should be classed as sins- I am a catholic, and I want the church to change to be more inclusive and humane.
Of course, this is all very personal, and it might sound a bit mad. I wish you all the best, whatever you do.